TICEES

by Mills, Shae

  She had always suffered from crippling low self-esteem, and depression dogged her at every turn. Yes, she was young, brilliant, versed in several languages, and as at home with any discussion involving math and the sciences as any of her contemporaries, but she was completely unable to convince herself that she was as capable as anyone else to do anything she pleased. This vacation, taken alone, was meant to be a rejuvenation of sorts, a time to reassess, to make plans, and to step out into the world on her own. It was an absolute necessity, and it was the one thing that no one could take away from her. Not even Jim.

  “Penny for your thoughts.”

  Chelan was startled out of her dreamy little world. She looked up into the face of a man she recognized from one of Jim’s company parties. She smiled, yet again. “Neil, I believe?”

  “Great memory.” He pulled a chair up close to her and sat down. “So, why is such a beautiful woman tucked away in this dreary little corner?”

  Chelan had to restrain herself from recoiling at the nauseating smell of alcohol on the man’s breath. “Well, I just needed a little break. I have met so many people tonight that, I must confess, I’m a little worn out.”

  Neil grinned and edged closer. His eyes raked over her, and Chelan automatically reached up, laying her palm defensively across her exposed cleavage. Then her mouth dried as his eyes settled on her chest.

  He cleared his throat. “I’m surprised that Jim let you out of his sight. If you were mine, I wouldn’t make that mistake.”

  Chelan began to panic. Her eyes darted beyond Neil in search of Jim, but all she could see was a swarm of people at the far end of the massive room. Neil’s touch on her leg snapped her attention back to him.

  “You know,” he drawled. “I’ve noticed you at several of our company parties. I’ve also noticed that you are not comfortable at these events. If you wish, I could alleviate some of that pressure by providing a quiet room to relax in.”

  Chelan felt her whole body break out in a cold sweat as the man’s hand traveled up her thigh. He leered at her with blatant lust.

  “I—” Her voice broke. “I … I’m fine, really … I just needed a moment … I really should find Jim—” and she tried to stand.

  Neil applied more pressure to her leg, keeping her seated. “I think you should forget Jim for the time being. He is more than a little occupied. You and I—”

  “Neil, my man! I see you have found my missing lady.” Jim’s hand clamped down hard on Neil’s shoulder. “I thank you so much for keeping Chelan company in my absence, but as you can see, I have returned.”

  Chelan swallowed hard. She wanted to leap into Jim’s arms, but the rattled Neil was in her way.

  Neil looked up at Jim. “Yes, I noticed that she had retreated and was all by herself. We were just chatting while she rested.” He nodded at Chelan and then rose awkwardly to his feet.

  Jim smiled, his eyes narrow. He reached for Neil’s hand and gripped it so tightly that Chelan could picture the man’s bones crunching. “I thank you once again, my friend. But if you will excuse us, I will attend to Chelan from this point on.” He jerked the man’s arm so hard that Neil’s whole body pitched forward.

  Jim grabbed the man’s shoulder with his other hand and held him close, chest to chest. Jim whispered in Neil’s ear. “You ever lay a hand on her again I will make sure that your job, your position, and all your escrowed shares instantly vanish. Is that understood?”

  Neil nodded frantically and staggered back a step as Jim practically shoved him away. Neil looked down at Chelan. “I shall say good night to you both and be on my way.” He nodded to them and hustled off.

  Chelan tried to stand, but her knees were not up to the task. Jim reached for her and drew her up effortlessly. He hugged her to him. “I’m sorry, Chelan. I lost track of time … and of him. He’s always been a bit of a lecher when he gets into the booze.”

  Chelan shook from head to toe. “If you don’t mind, could you take me home? If not, I can catch a cab.”

  “Nonsense. The limo is just outside, and even I’ve had my fill of schmoozing. Let’s get out of here.”

  *****

  The limo pulled up in front of her apartment, and Jim sprang out. He rushed to her side of the car and eased her to her feet. “I’m coming in,” he asserted.

  Chelan shook her head. “I’m fine. I just want to have a bath and unwind.”

  “I don’t want you to be alone after being touched by that scumbag.”

  Chelan tried to form a rebuttal, but as usual, she acquiesced. She hugged herself and watched helplessly as Jim dismissed the limo.

  He put an arm around her shoulders as he escorted her to her apartment. As soon as she was in the door, she headed for the bathroom. She locked the door and turned on the taps to the tub. As the water ran, she peeled off all her new clothes and let them fall to the floor in a silent heap. Then she stood at the mirror and worked at the clasp to her necklace, almost ready to tear it from her body just before it finally released.

  She tossed it on top of her discarded clothing and then sank into the steaming water. She laid her head back and concentrated on the sensations the welcoming fluid provided as it rose over her weary bones. They were warm, calming, healing sensations.

  When the water finally covered her breasts, she reached forward and turned off the taps. She closed her eyes just as the tears came. Why couldn’t the world just leave her alone? Why did men have to always encroach on her space? And more importantly, why did she have so little control over every social situation that presented itself? All of this was exactly the reason she had always embraced her studies. Science and engineering were absolutes she could deal with. There was nothing threatening about them. Math and physics were her faithful, unconditional companions … her studies, her true loves, her intellectual pursuits, her way of transcending into a safe place free of demands, a place where her shyness dissipated along with the rest of the world.

  She ducked her face under the water, pausing with held breath as she tamed her thoughts. She came up for air and once again relaxed against the tub. If she didn’t have her vacation to look forward to, she would be an absolute mess. But before she could even embrace that one bright light completely, she realized that the moment she left this bath, she had to deal with Jim. Why couldn’t he have just gone home?

  Time passed, and the water began to cool. Urging her protesting body up, she stood and reached for a towel. She dried herself and ran the material down her long, silken tresses, but she didn’t bother to comb out the tangles. Then she slipped into a fresh pair of panties and reached for her heavy terry-cloth robe, binding it about her tightly. She took a deep breath and braced herself.

  She stepped out into the hall and tiptoed down to her living room. There was Jim, sitting on the couch, one arm over the back, the other holding a large glass of red wine. His jacket was off, his white shirt undone down to his navel. His eyes travelled over her as he took another drink. Chelan cringed, knowing how he could be when he drank. She glanced at the wine bottle on the coffee table and noted it was almost empty.

  He shook his head. “It’s been a long night.”

  Chelan edged to one of the large chairs, hoping that she could curl up in it unscathed.

  “Come here,” he commanded almost wearily.

  Chelan moved across the room and sat down beside him. He set his drink down and encircled her with his arms, squeezing her to him. Chelan drew her feet up under the robe and sagged into his strength.

  His hand stroked her wet hair, and he kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry, Chelan. I know how much you hate those functions to begin with.”

  “It’s okay,” she whispered.

  Jim sighed and reached for his drink, draining the glass. “Just so you know, I’ll deal with Neil tomorrow.”

  “Leave him be,” she muttered. “He was drunk.”

  Jim reached for the bottle, chugging the remaining wine in one gulp. Chelan wanted to get off the topic of Neil a
s quickly as possible. “So, do you think the gala was a success?”

  He nodded. “I do, and I want to thank you for coming and helping it to be so.”

  Chelan smiled up at him. “You would have done fine on your own.”

  His eyes twinkled. “I don’t want to talk about the gala any more.” And his lips took hers. He rose over her and pressed her down onto the couch. Then he lay on top of her, holding her head in his hands as his tongue explored her mouth tenderly.

  Chelan kissed him back, but she was cautious. She didn’t know how much he had drunk at the event, but he had downed a whole bottle of wine while she bathed, undoubtedly while festering over Neil’s advance. Her hands went to his shoulders, holding him gently at bay.

  He released her mouth, his breathing labored. “I hate it when other men touch you.”

  Chelan groaned. “I’m fine, and you stopped him.”

  One of Jim’s hands found its way to her breast, and he kneaded her deeply. “You belong to me, Chelan. The next man that touches you will meet me head-on.”

  Chelan tried to squirm out from under him, but he immediately took her lips again, his tongue penetrating deep and long. When he released her to get his breath, she pushed against him. “Jim, you need to cool down … you need to—”

  His mouth was hard on hers again. Her eyes went wide as his hand left her breast and moved to loosen her robe. “No, Jim,” she implored.

  “Shhh,” he cooed. “Come on, baby. We’ve been together too long. It’s time. I want to make love to you.”

  Chelan pushed on him harder. “No, I’m not ready. You know that!”

  Jim sprang up from her and sat down hard at the end of the couch. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Chelan! We’ve been together for a year. What’s the matter with you?”

  Chelan sat up and rebound her robe, pulling the tie so tight that her breathing constricted. “I’ve never led you on. I’ve always told you that—”

  “Yeah, that you’ll come to me when you’re ready. Well, shit, Chelan, when will you ever be ready? I’ve taken you with me everywhere, I’ve showered you with love and gifts, and still you sit there like some old maid.”

  Chelan’s jaw dropped and her eyes flooded. “Is that it? You feel I owe you?”

  Jim hunched forward and ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Then he looked up at her from under dark brows. “Yeah, I guess I do. I do everything for you, and all I ask for is this one thing in return.”

  Chelan caught a sob in her throat as she clutched her robe in a death grip about her chest. “I don’t ask for any of the things that you do for me or buy for me. All I want is your love. And I don’t want to be a spectacle at any of your overblown functions. I go because you expect it of me, that’s all.”

  “Fine. But we are a couple first and foremost, and as a consequence I expect other things from you! Normal things. Natural things. Jesus, Chelan, how many twenty-three-year-old-virgins are there? What are you waiting for? Better yet, who are you waiting for?”

  Chelan’s tears began to flow. “You don’t understand,” she whispered.

  “You’re damn right I don’t understand! Why don’t you explain it to me, because I’m at a total loss! How long do you think I am willing to wait? I’m tired of being celibate for you!”

  “I’ve never led you on,” she repeated lamely.

  “You’re bloody right you haven’t! You made it clear from the first date that you’re as frigid as they come.”

  Chelan jumped to her feet, her whole body consumed by tremors. “Get out!” she shouted. “I don’t need this right now! Get out!”

  Jim stood and grabbed his jacket. “You’re right. You don’t need this, and neither do I! Get some help, Chelan. I don’t know what your problem is, but I really don’t want to deal with it anymore. I’m through waiting.” He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

  Chelan ran to her room and threw herself on her bed. Inside, she was a knotted ball of anguish. More than ever she needed to get away and clear her soul of all that plagued her. She needed to exorcise the demons of her past that she kept so well hidden from all. She needed to look to the future. She needed to stand alone, separate from her family and from Jim. And most of all, she needed to escape to somewhere far, far away … if only for a time.

  To do this, she was going to deliver herself into the loving arms of nature, retreating to a locale so remote that in the evenings, the universe would reveal itself in all its wonder. The stars, the solar system, the galaxy: they were her ultimate destination. With her aeronautics degree she wanted to design a craft with which to reach the heavens. She wished to commune with the cosmos, to lose herself in all its beauty and splendor, and to escape her earthly chains.

  This trip was everything. She would camp alone, high in the Rockies, for as long as it took to rejuvenate herself. She would gaze up at the stars, reach for them with her soul, and heal. Then she would return to whatever awaited her, renewed, reawakened, revitalized. This metamorphosis was well planned, well orchestrated, and perfect. And no one, absolutely no one, could stand in her way.

  Chapter 1

  The deep hum of the colossal ship reverberated throughout her soul, soothing her, assuring her that she was still home and safe. Chelan had slept well after her night terror, comforted and sheltered by Korba’s massive body. Now she awoke slowly, feeling his arms embracing her, his soft, rhythmic breathing caressing the back of her neck. Struggling to contain her bubbling enthusiasm, she tried to think of anything other than the momentous event that was about to descend upon her in a very short time.

  She pressed deeper into Korba’s all-encompassing warmth, taking this quiet time to reflect on all that had gone before. It was all utterly surreal, and at times like this, while bathed in serenity, the scale of what had happened to her over the past Iceanean year was almost too daunting to process. She had been snatched from her little blue planet, Earth, and now here she was in the arms of an alien, the galaxy’s Overlord, a man with dominion over all, a man with the power to destroy worlds with the wave of his hand.

  Chelan had to concentrate on not squirming at the thought of just what kind of being possessed her, mind, body, and soul. He was the devil and a god, both contained within one cast-iron body. He was the very definition of extremes: a caring lover and a brutal executioner, a being of higher-ordered thought like no other, yet as primal and feral as any wild beast. Billions admired him, worshiped him, loved him, and billions feared him as the ruthless warrior he was. He was death and destruction incarnate. Yet he was hers to possess, to command, to love, and to cherish.

  Chelan looked down at the bronze arm that surrounded her protectively, the corded muscles locked about her with a grip that told her that despite his sleep, he was poised for battle, forever prepared to defend what was his no matter what his state. Though he rested, he was alert and primed, a powder keg ready to detonate at a moment’s notice, an explosive that had to be consciously defused for normal interactions to occur.

  She smiled. She had been an insignificant Earthling not long ago, but now she was the solution that dissolved the hardened war machine next to her, if only for fleeting moments. He was her poison, and she was his antidote.

  Chelan drew in a long, soft breath, afraid to disrupt her breathing too much lest she disturb her Warlord. Her life on board the battleship RIBUS 7 had thus far been a never-ending struggle from within and without. Chaos had ensued from the moment she had run into the alien landing party on Earth. Plucked from her world, she had lost all—her family, her friends, her home. All the foundation and structure of her life as she had known it had been splintered in a microsecond.

  Chelan winced as her thoughts catapulted back through time to a point two Earth years ago. She had been so lost, floundering in an ocean of indecision, unhappy with everything and everyone, but no more disappointed in any one thing than she was in herself. In an effort to rescue herself from the quagmire of self-doubt that was suffocating her, she had gone on a vacation
high in the Canadian Rockies to “find herself.” But who and what she had found were beyond the realm of belief.

  Chelan felt a small residual tremor invade her as she relived the exact moment she had stumbled upon the Iceanean men shrouded in ominous black. A cult had been her first thought, but unbeknownst to her, the warriors who had claimed her were among the most powerful beings in the known galaxy. And though they took her aboard their ship with full intentions of nurturing and caring for her, her life with them had turned into one horrendous ordeal after another.

  Her struggle to coexist with her captors had been complicated right from the beginning by unexpected perils that seemed to lurk around every corner. An insidious illness ravaged her on the heels of her abduction, and the brutality of the blade that these people lived by pursued her and terrorized her endlessly.

  Chelan shuddered inwardly and then stilled herself, shelving the disturbing memories and forging on through her thoughts. She had weathered all manner of storms directed at her from her new reality, but what had taken the biggest toll on her were the struggles that arose from within herself. Shy, timid, and crippled by her own perceived inadequacies, here she was surrounded by the genetically elite. The men and women of RIBUS 7 were the crème de la crème of genetic engineering, the end result of millennia of selective breeding. They embodied perfection. She did not.

  In the beginning, all those fundamental differences, physical and mental, were what had ensured her survival, drawing the Iceaneans to her like bees to honey. She was the antithesis of everything they stood for. She was peace, while they were war. She was an oasis of tranquility that soothed their strife. She was the tenderness that tempered their brutality, the softness that absorbed their steel. She was an enigma that shunted the savage beast out of conflict and into harmony, albeit at times only fleetingly.