Letting Go of You (Anchored Hearts #2)

by J. M. Witt

  “I’ll be right back.” She barely nodded as I got out of the truck. Smith was looking under her hood when I approached him. He showed me the cut wires and I about lost my mind. “This has gone too far. I want security on her 24/7.” He nodded and I made my way back to my truck.

  I buckled up and pulled out of the garage. “Can you put some music on? Anything will do.”

  She was staring out her window as I turned the stereo on. Latch by Disclosure & Sam Smith, a new song from the UK, started blaring through the speakers. I pulled out onto the street and headed toward the hotel. A few minutes later she asked where we were going. I told her that I was taking her to the hotel.

  “That’s not necessary.”

  “Cassidy, don’t even attempt to argue with me on this one. Someone just tried to kill you. I’m not letting you out of my sight.” She still hadn’t moved. “Did he say anything to you, did you recognize him?”

  “I’m coming for you.”

  “What?”

  “He said, ‘I’m coming for you.’”

  “FUCK.” I slammed my fist on the steering wheel and she barely flinched. I began to wonder if she was still in shock. “Cassidy, did he hurt you.”

  She just shook her head mumbling, “I’m fine.”

  The fuck she was. We pulled into the garage under the hotel and I parked the truck. All my senses were on high alert as I walked her into the hotel. When we made it to my penthouse she simply wandered up the stairs and I followed behind. She excused herself to the bathroom and I waited for her while removing my clothes. I was standing in a tank and underwear when I heard the water running and I went in after her.

  She was sitting on the floor of the shower, naked, with her knees pulled to her chest. I shed my remaining clothes and climbed in behind her. She made room for me and I pulled her to me. I stroked her body for several minutes as she sat completely silent. When she broke her silence she began asking questions I didn’t want to answer.

  “Where were you last night?”

  “Out with friends.”

  “Is that what she is now, a friend?”

  “Cassidy…”

  “That’s not what it looked like to me.”

  “If she went home with someone, it wasn’t me.”

  She stood up and walked out of the shower and I was close behind her. She climbed into bed, naked and soaking wet, the way I liked her and seemingly went to sleep. I didn’t even have a chance to explain that the picture was from Monday. What did it matter? That would probably just piss her off more. I dried myself off and stared at her for several minutes, maybe hours, in my chair by the window.

  I was in the desert with nothing but sun and sand in sight. Smith popped into my vision and then Paul. We were riding along on our usual patrol. Before I knew it, we were back at base eating a meal. My vision blurred, and then jumped as my body began spinning out of control. When I came to a stop I was lying in a bed. I took in my surroundings and realized that I was in a hospital. My head was pounding and I reached up to find a bandage around my head.

  “Careful, don’t want to remove that.”

  I looked over to a nurse who was eyeing me carefully. “Where am I, what happened?”

  “What’s the last thing you remember?”

  I couldn’t remember much. Everything was scrambled around in my head. “Diesel, I mean Paul and Smith…”

  “They’re here too. You saved a lot of men. You should get some rest.”

  I woke, shaking the memory from my brain, and was aware of her moaning in her sleep. When my eyes focused on her, she was thrashing on the bed. I leapt out of my chair and made my way to the bed, climbing in with her. I was used to her having the occasional nightmare; this was a mild one compared to some of her others.

  “Shhh, Blackbird. You’re safe.” Her body responded to mine without her even being aware. She rolled toward me and wrapped her body around mine. My dick sprung to life as her hands caressed my torso. “Go to sleep.” I caressed her back, but wasn’t sure if I was talking to her or my cock.

  When I woke we were on our sides and she was grinding her behind into me. My hand found her belly, before traveling down her thigh. I reached her knee and pulled her leg up and over mine, opening her to me as my hand moved to her inner thigh.

  “I know you’re awake.”

  “I know you know.” As she said it she wrapped her hand back to my ass and tried pulling me closer. Burying my head in her hair, I inhaled as my fingers teased her. “James…”

  “Hush.” I grabbed my cock and teased her opening with my tip as she whimpered and dug her nails into my skin. She turned her head toward mine and I consumed her mouth as I slid up and into her. I perched myself up on my elbow, and grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled, while my now free hand squeezed her breasts in turn.

  I glided into her slow and steady, over and over. Pulling my mouth from hers, her sleepy eyes found mine. They were always brightest first thing in the morning. She locked her gaze on mine as she whispered, “Harder.”

  “Like this. Is this what you want, Blackbird?” I slid out and rammed into her harder as her eyes rolled back and she gasped.

  “You’re what I want. Only you.”

  I pulled her leg higher up and then moved my fingers to her clit. Her hand joined on top of mine as our hips rocked in unison. “Show me.” Her eyes fluttered to mine as I repeated, “Show me.”

  I removed my hand from under hers as she cautiously began to circle her clit. She brought her fingers to my mouth and I greedily sucked on her fingers before she pulled them out and returned to pleasuring herself. Watching her turned me on even more. To feel her clench around me as I slid in and out as she circled her bud round and round, had me teetering on the edge.

  “James, kiss me.”

  I brought my lips to hers and sucked her tongue into my mouth. She began to whimper, “Let go, come for me.” She panted her release into my mouth as her free hand reached back and tangled itself in my hair.

  “Shit…” I pulled away from her mouth and slammed into her a few more times, as she quaked around me and then I shot into her.

  ~<>~<>~<>~

  “This is a joke right?” She stood with her hands on her hips in her foyer, glaring at me like I’d grown a second head.

  “This is no joke. Your car is in the shop, you were attacked last night. Smith or I will take you where you need to go and we’ll be hiring Ryan to help out.”

  “I was nearly attacked.”

  “Do you think I give a flying fuck how nearly you were attacked? Someone is out to hurt you and I will not let that happen. I’ll shackle you to me if I have to so I know you’re safe.”

  She put her hands up in defense. “Who’s Ryan?”

  “He works security for Smith and will be one of your bodyguards.”

  Rolling her eyes she replied, “Ok, I get it. Can we try to keep it discreet at least?”

  “Nobody is going to care how you show up to work, just that you show up. Let’s go.”

  She stomped, huffed and puffed her way to the truck. I left Smith to go through her place to check for any bugs or any places that might be vulnerable to break-ins. Though, she wouldn’t be staying at her place alone, probably ever, again. I had made arrangements to hire Ryan and would hire more armed guards if need be.

  When I picked her up from work that night she climbed in and said, “We can skip the concert tonight if you want.” I’d totally forgotten about it. “You forgot. It’s ok. I did too until I looked at my calendar today.”

  “No, we’re going. We could both use a night out together.” I squeezed her hand asking, “Do you have the tickets?”

  “They’re at my place.”

  We swung by her place, fed the cat, and grabbed the tickets. She changed her clothes and then we left.

  The show was at a very small and personable theatre. “Wow, I didn’t realize how small this place was.”

  “Should be a great show.” She nodded in agreement.

&nb
sp; She blushed when he came out on stage. It was charming. We were only a couple rows back and he put on a great show. Of course the only song I recognized was Wicked Game, but she knew most of them. When we were leaving she had a huge smile on her face once more.

  “Did you enjoy it?”

  “Yes! Thank you for insisting we go.”

  Cassidy stayed with me that night. Smith hadn’t found anything to be suspicious of at her place, but I knew we could keep a closer eye on her at the hotel.

  The next day was the Benedict/Whitford family Christmas party. I was looking forward to the carefree time with family. We all needed to relax and unwind. I knew enough to understand that this would be my mother’s last Christmas. I was going to make the most of it.

  We pulled up to my parent’s house as Cal and Jane were unloading gifts from their cars. We all made our way inside, looking over the gifts we all carried. Calvin took the bundle of gifts from Jane and placed them under the tree. I took the opportunity to chat with Jane. She rejected a call as I approached her. Something was off with her.

  “You doing okay? You seem nervous. Who’s calling?”

  “Me, no I’m fine. Just a recruiter I can’t get to leave me alone. I need to pull my resume from their job site.” She flashed me her carefree smile and I knew she was lying. “What about you? How you doing? Your mom seems to be in good spirits.”

  “Yes, she’s doing okay.” I know my smile dropped as I couldn’t help to think about it being the last Christmas with mom and all the previous ones we had spent together.

  “I’m sorry, James.” Jane rubbed my arm, trying to console me.

  “It’s alright. I want to focus on happy times today.” I was determined to create memories today, not focus on old ones.

  Cal walked over to us then and asked if everything was ok. Jane didn’t hesitate with her response. “Yes, today is a happy day!”

  Jane left Calvin and me to our small talk. “So, SWAT? How’s that going?

  Chapter 6 ~Family

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  I was in the family room staring out the patio doors, reflecting on the chaos of the past few days when Jane broke me from my trance. “Hey, you okay?”

  I knew that my expression gave me away. I hated that I couldn’t hide my emotions well. “I made a mistake. I’m an idiot.”

  “What are you talking about? You’re not an idiot.”

  I sighed, saying, “After finding out that you two moved in together, I may have ‘suggested’ to James that he should move in with me.” I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to release some of the tension coursing through me before I continued. “He didn’t take that very well. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  “You were thinking that you love him and want to spend every waking moment with him.” Jane rubbed my back reassuring me, “He loves you. Give him time. He’s very used to his independence.” I tried smiling at her as James walked in to tell us lunch was ready.

  The enormous spread we found waiting for us was amazing. Everything you could think of was being served. Turkey, ham, casseroles and way too much of everything else was spread across the table. It was only a sheer few minutes before the teasing from our parents began. Cal and I had grown accustomed to it at my birthday lunch back in November.

  “So, who’s going to pop the question first?” Dear Lord. J.J. started off as the heavy hitter.

  Our Dads were amused and Cal started choking on his water. Dad began smacking Cal’s back and then said, “I’m guessing it’s not going to be my boy.”

  Everyone was giggling when Mrs. Whirford broke through with her usual banter. “This one here is getting long in the tooth. Cal can come on home with me if Janey isn’t up for more than a test drive.” Jane appeared mortified. Her mom really knew how to get everyone riled up. Even Jane’s Dad seemed unimpressed. Everyone else was cracking up, besides Cal and Jane.

  “Mother, that’s disgusting. And he’s spoken for, so back off. You had your chance at the auction.” The snickers continued as Jane defended Cal.

  “Um, if I’m not mistaken, I spent all my money that night on James.” Oh no, their attention had shifted to us.

  “Um, if I’m not mistaken, the money you spent that night was mine.” James chimed in to set the record straight.

  “Details, blah, blah, blah. Cal, you just call me and I’ll take care of you.” Mrs. Whitford winked at my brother as Jane rolled her eyes.

  “Sure thing, Beverly.”

  “Cal, don’t encourage her.” Jane elbowed him then.

  “So James, when’s the wedding?” And here it went all eyes on us.

  “Dad, knock it off. It’s not funny.”

  “It’s ok James, we’ve all heard the rumors that you’re a little gun-shy. Cal and Jane are already living together. What are you waiting for?” I saw James grip his napkin tightly at his aunt’s words. He was upset. I was starting to believe that James had no intention of making us permanent, even though I knew it was still early.

  James was silent and I made the mistake of making eye contact with Jane. After what I’d told her before our meal, she knew that moving in together was a sensitive topic. Jane mouthed ‘sorry’ as the tears threatened to make their appearance in my eyes. I shook my head at Jane before putting my fork and napkin down and excused myself.

  I made my way to the hall bathroom on the other side of the family room and was closing the door when his foot stopped me from doing so. I didn’t even bother trying to stop him from coming in. He stood near me, just hovering.

  “What?” I snapped at him, not knowing what else to say.

  “Why are you upset?”

  “Really? You’re going to ask me that? I didn’t realize you were so dense.” He was pursing his lips at me, thinking about his response. “Please just leave me. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “I’m not leaving you here to wallow.”

  “How chivalrous of you?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  I glared at him as a tear spilled over onto my cheek. “What is this to you?” I motioned between our bodies.

  “What do you mean?”

  “One minute you’re professing your love and the next you’re avoiding me. I can’t make heads or tails of you. Am I just a temporary thing, to keep you warm?”

  He gripped my arms and lowered himself so his eyes were level with mine. “Don’t say that. You’re not temporary. This is all new to me. I know I love you and that’s all I’m focused on right now. I don’t care to think about the future and what if. The future is doomed for everyone. Eventually everything dies. I want what’s here and now. And that’s you.”

  Like an idiot I began crying, trying to push the words past my tongue. “You’re not making any sense. The future is doomed, but you want me and that’s all you’re focused on. What am I supposed to take from that?”

  “Cassidy, please don’t over analyze this. Us. We’ve got a good thing going. I love you. I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

  I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to make babies with you and they’ll have my eyes and your hair. Was that too much to ask for? “I don’t know either.”

  He wiped my tears away with his thumb before licking their saltiness off. “My Blackbird. You have such a big heart. I don’t deserve it and I’m so worried I’m going to break it.”

  Me too. “Please don’t.” His arms were wrapped around me as he ran his hands up and down my sides.

  “I’ll try.”

  He pulled back and kissed me. His lips were like my kryptonite. The minute they touched my body I was a goner. I’d do anything, say anything, and be anything he wanted me to be. As long as his lips were on me, I would do his bidding. Soon my leggings and panties were around my knees as he turned me away from him. I heard his pants hit the floor as he pushed into me from behind, while yanking on my hair at the scalp. Pushing my cowl neck sweater to the side, he began biting my neck and shoulder, which made goose b
umps pop up all over my body. I watched him in the mirror as his mouth traveled my neck and his hips pushed in and out.

  “I love you, James.” His eyes met mine in the mirror.

  “Come for me, I’m close.”

  “I’m not ready.” He groaned before he left my body and turned me around. Lifting me up on the counter he rubbed his dick all over my slit. “Oh, God.”

  “Remember, it’s James.” I let out a small laugh before moaning again. He was bringing me to the brink and knew it. My body was stiffening as he continued rubbing himself on me. “Cassidy…”

  “I’m close James. Oh, right there, don’t stop.”

  His warmth burst on me as my orgasm claimed me. His lips devoured my cries as he slipped into me, not stopping until we were both shaking. If anything was right and honest between us, it was this.

  Sex.

  Could I live with him being emotionally shut off from me if the sex was that amazing? I wanted to believe that I could. If things were the reverse, wouldn’t that be worse? Bad sex and open communication. I just didn’t know anymore. He didn’t want to look to the future. What was I supposed to do with that?

  We returned to the dining room and Mrs. Whitford apologized to us. We finished our meal with a few laughs and everything seemed right, if even for just a few hours. After lunch we made our way to the family room to begin opening presents after James, Jane, Cal and I helped clear the table.

  ~ JAMES ~

  Jane was checking her phone and seemed perplexed. I noticed that she left it on the kitchen counter before we headed to the living room for gifts. I really needed to sit her down and figure out what was really going on.

  Everyone seemed pleased with their gifts. I gave Cassidy a blue cashmere sweater which matched her eyes, and a couple of gift certificates. I was planning to give her my real gift on Christmas morning. I’d had a necklace designed for her. I had yet to see the finished product, but would when I picked it up on Monday. Mom had given me a photo album that was full of pictures from me growing up. I managed to not cry, but it meant the world to me. I didn’t realize she had so many pictures of me growing up.