Shed some Light

by Amber Naralim

  “Then why the hell did ya bring him back?”

  “Did you see the look in her eyes when I beat him to death? Knowing I did it to save her, to save everyone else! She hated me. Ellie looked at me the way she used to. She looked at me the way she did when she thought I was the monster inside your head. I need her, Reese. I can’t live without her.”

  “She don’t think you’re a monster, Vince. And she wouldn’t if ya acted like ya instead of like him. For someone who loves her, ya sure ain’t got a lot of faith in her.”

  “I know Ellie. I heard the things she said to you,” Vincent cried.

  Again, Reese looked at him in confusion. “Me? Ellie never told me ya was a monster.”

  Vincent rolled his eyes, bringing his head around in a slow arc. Him. Better?” Vincent’s words had a venom that Reese didn’t understand. “Ellie promised him she would help him kill me.”

  “Vince, she loves ya. She deserves to know the mustang wild little brat I grew up with.” Reese sighed. “Did ya tell her?”

  “No!”

  “Then I’d start there,” Reese told him. “She needs to know the personality took advantage of her. More than that, Vince, ya need to trust her. Ellie knows ya lie to her and still she trusts ya.”

  “What am I supposed to say, Reese? I watched him fuck you.” Vincent cried. “That I sat there and let it happen because I was too damned weak to stop him?” He ran a hand through his hair. “I told her he was gone.”

  “Lies got consequences, Vince.” Reese watched his little brother pace about the room. “That is exactly what ya got to tell her if ya don’t want this to happen again.”

  “I can’t! I can’t tell her that.” Vincent’s eyes were full of fear that Reese didn’t really understand.

  “Vince, ya ain’t going to lose her over this.”

  “You don’t know that,” Vincent snapped, turning on him. “You don’t know her.”

  “I think I do. I sure trust her enough to know that she ain’t going to walk away from this,” Reese said.

  “It’s not just this. It’s everything! Her life was ruined. She lost her brother. He’s a fucking monster because of me. I’m just her second prize, Reese.” Vincent’s eyes went wide. “She wanted you! Ellie never wanted me. She doesn’t want me.”

  Reese crossed the distance between them and grabbed his arm. “Vince, I can feel the love she’s got for ya! I’ll be honest, it kills me just a little more every day. That girl loves ya. She’ll never stop loving ya.” Reese took in a deep breath. “I get where you’re coming from, Vince. I do. I love her. But I gave ya my word, I won’t break it.”

  Vincent looked at him. Why? Why couldn’t he believe Reese? Why couldn’t he accept what everyone, especially Ellie told him every day? He wanted to believe. Vincent couldn’t believe she loved him because he knew he didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t because Ellie thought he was a monster. It was because Vincent was a monster. Didn’t matter how hard Vincent tried to hide it. He was swimming in darkness and the harder he tried to pretend he wasn’t drowning in his hate the more of it he swallowed down. The more of it he choked on.

  “She’s your girl, Vince.” Reese shook his head. “If I could leave her, I would. Hell, I tried! I need her and damn it. I need ya. I need the both of ya.”

  The emotion in Reese’s voice tore at Vincent. He didn’t want to lose his brother again. He couldn’t bear to lose Ellie. They needed each other. Vincent was tired of being jealous of Reese. That jealousy tore them apart. Eighty-five years of it and Vincent was so tired. All he wanted was to heal that pain. Reese grasped the back of Vincent’s neck and laid his forehead against his little brother’s just like they did when they were kids.

  “It’s going to be alright, little brother. We’re going to be alright.”

  Vincent looked up at him. His chest hitching with emotions, Vincent looked into Reese’s blue eyes. He nodded.

  “I hope you’re right.”

  Chapter 38

  Her walks were getting steadily longer. Ellie needed the space. She needed to get away from that house. Ellie followed a small footpath through tall spruce trees. It wasn’t just the house she needed to get away from. Vincent was in a pissy mood. She managed to coax a total of three words out of him in the last two days. When he wasn’t out hunting, he was lost in his paints. She had no idea what she did to piss him off. A year day in and day out in the confines of cars and hotel rooms, even when she was scared to death of him, Vincent had never been this distant. Edward’s attitude was beginning to chafe a bit too. Ellie tried everything in her power not to scream at him. She huffed out a breath and decided to go left. Ellie normally headed right at the sugar maple.

  What is life without chance, right? At least it was a pretty morning. The sky was still stained a deep shade of pink with oranges and a hint of yellow dragging it toward the clouds on the horizon. The middle of August and it was finally warm enough for Ellie to consider it summer. The further she walked the more the trees began to thin. She should have turned around ten minutes ago. The thought of going back to that house made her skin crawl.

  How she longed for the road, the spin of tires beneath her. The fantasy of just walking away she could not quash. Ellie’s foot came down on something that crunched oddly. She stopped. Ellie lifted a shattered tube of lipstick from the ground. Giving it a quizzical brow, Ellie looked around. She spotted a compact, a wallet, a phone. Ellie picked it up from the leaves swiping her finger across the screen. A photo of a woman with curly hair and a wide happy smile appeared on the spider-webbed screen. The battery light was blinking but the thing had juice. It couldn’t have been out here for more than a couple days. The wallet had no cash, but the credit cards and IDs were still in place.

  Ellie followed the trail at a trot. Someone had dumped the woman’s purse. The sun glinted off something in the distance but it was the smell that stopped Ellie cold. She held her hand against her nose and mouth. The sweet fetid stink of death rolled out around her. A newer model Chrysler with blue paint sat nearly upside down at the bottom of a steep hill. Both doors hanging wide open.

  It wasn’t hard to spot the scene. Dark dirt drew claw marks for a foot. Crazy dragged her screaming through the underbrush. Crazy, Ellie couldn't bear to call the things Bennet made monsters. Vincent and Reese were monsters. They were her monsters. Blood marked a tree to her left. The splotch looked a lot like the one Vetler pointed out at the scene she’d dragged him to. Crazy choked her, slammed her head against the trunk. A chunk of tangled strawberry-blond hair teased out on the breeze. Ellie pulled it free of the bark.

  As she cataloged each marker, her brain began tallying the differences. The scene where the blond guy attacked Reese was blood soaked. The trunk of the tree had shattered bark. Torn branches. Claw marks in the frozen earth. He had enough strength to stand toe to toe with Reese, and he used every ounce of it.

  This was different. The attacks were controlled. Crazy played with her. Let her think she could run. Ellie climbed over a downed tree trunk. The body was a red and gray splotch against a brittle brown background. “Jesus.” Ellie stepped around it carefully.

  She forced herself to stare, take in every gruesome detail. Ellie owed it to this woman. Her time with Vincent taught Ellie many things. She’d seen her fair share of dead bodies. When Vincent killed someone it was like a bomb going off. He ripped and tore the skin, shattered bones. There wasn’t much left but gnawed on bones when he was through.

  This body was covered in black bruises. There were so many cuts to her once pretty skin. The shallow ones drew Ellie’s attention and her pity. This guy wanted her to suffer. And suffer she did. Ellie crouched down next to what was left of her. Half her throat was one mess of graying meat. The black lines on the other side held Ellie’s rapt attention. She couldn’t force herself to look away. The last time Ellie saw Edward and Anna making out on the couch kept flashing in her mind’s eye. The way Edward wrapped his hand around Anna’s throat as he kissed her face.

/>   Horror and revulsion stampeded through her. Ellie felt the need to throw up. There are steps of grief. Stages we traipse on our way to acceptance. Denial, anger, bargaining, Ellie was tumbling down those steps. Tears burned her eyes. Those red flags waved on the horizon.

  “What are you doing out here?”

  Ellie came to her feet as if pulled by strings, the Heckler out, safety off. She pointed the barrel at Vincent’s head with wide eyes. Ellie huffed out a breath, visibly relaxing. “Jesus, Vincent, you scared the hell out of me! Why can’t you for once stomp your goddamned feet?”

  “You are not supposed to be alone,” he practically growled stomping through the underbrush in all his unearthly grace.

  Normally she would have argued. Instead, Ellie dropped the gun to her side and ran toward him throwing her arms around him. Vincent looked down at her surprised for just a moment before he melted against her. He touched his hands to her cheeks and stared into her face. “El,” it was all he could think to say.

  “I’m sorry, Vincent. I don’t know what I said, or what I did, but I’m sorry.”

  Vincent took in a deep breath his head falling to one side. His eyes softened. He leaned in halfway, his lips pursed, eyes closed. Ellie leaned in the rest of the way kissing him.

  “God, I love you, Ellie,” Vincent whispered.

  He pulled her into his arms, rocking them back and forth on the spot. Vincent swallowed every ounce of hurt. He’d take any pain to hold her. Ellie folded herself in his warmth. She let it chase away the desolate thoughts nipping at her. Nothing could touch her here. In Vincent’s arms, the rest of the world didn’t mean a damned thing.

  Ellie laced her fingers between his slow. Vincent stared down at her with swirling gray eyes. He opened his mouth to ask, but in that moment, he didn’t want to know. She wanted him. The look in her eyes was lovely. With her looking at him like that, he could almost believe. He took a step toward the body.

  Facts screamed at him. So many so fast he didn’t have time to question the whys or hows. Just looking at that body, he knew exactly who killed her. Hell, he even knew why. Vincent looked down at Ellie. Her expression was brittle. She took in a deep breath and regretted it instantly. Her gaze fell on what was left of that pitiful creature.

  Who was she to judge? Ellie kept screaming those words at herself.

  Chapter 39

  Ellie came into the house with a happy smile on her face. The more that baby grew the better Edward got. The happier that made Ellie. She hoped and prayed that tiny thing would give Edward the strength he needed. She’d been sitting on this for nearly a month now. Ellie figured today of any was a good day for it.

  She reached up, straining hard to get at the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet. After two tries, she gave up. Dragging one of the chairs over, Ellie climbed up on top of it. Fingertips closing over the cover, her smile spread wider. She pulled the book down. Ellie looked around to be sure that no one was watching. Alone, she hugged it to her chest, swaying back and forth. Ellie only allowed herself so many girly moments nowadays. She was sure this one counted for at least three.

  The Wizard of OZ had been her favorite book as a child. Edward read it to her a hundred times. This was something of their family that could be passed down. Ellie hopped off the chair. With a bright smile, she headed back out to the front porch. She spotted them walking along the tree line. The dog tromped three or four steps behind.

  Ellie sat down in one of the rocking chairs watching on. She traced her fingertip over the raised title, the bricks of the yellow road. Nothing could banish her grin. When she looked up Edward was helping Anna up the hill.

  Anna looked unconformable, hot, and sweaty. Her breathing labored. Anna’s wavy red hair pulled back into a messy bun. A few thick strands snaked down the back of her long neck. Dressed in a pair of yoga pants, her tight tank top stretched across her rounded belly. Edward wasn’t bothered by the weather. Neither hot nor cold affected Ellie’s monsters in the least.

  Ellie jogged down the steps, loping out to meet them. Edward flashed her a smile. “Hey, Squirt. You look happy.”

  Ellie jumped up and down twice. Her smile was dazzling. “I have something for you, for both of you actually,” she said, her eyes falling on Anna.

  A thin layer of sweat sparkled on her brow. Looking in Ellie’s vague direction, Anna asked, “What is it?”

  Ellie took Anna’s hand. She set the book on her palm. “This book is special.” Edward couldn't help the smile that pulled at his lips. “My brother read this to me every night until I was thirteen. Even then, he would read it to me when I was sick,” Ellie said with a smile meant only for Edward. “It's The Wizard of OZ. I figured Edward could read it to his son every night the way he read it for me.”

  Anna looked down at it. Her face for just a split second had a lilt of sadness to it. Ellie saw it. She kind of wished she hadn’t. Anna forced a smile.

  Edward hooked his arm around Ellie's neck, pulling her in for a hug. He laid a kiss on top of her head. “That’s the sweetest thing you have ever done for me.”

  “Does that include rescuing you from a mental institution?” Ellie asked playfully.

  “Yeah. I think it does.” Edward chuckled, lost in the sweetness of her gesture.

  Ellie’s eyes danced over Anna. “So, how is our little Lucky doing today?” Ellie asked, hoping to change the subject before Edward noticed the look on Anna’s face. “Can I?”

  Anna spread her arms exposing her bulging belly. Ellie laid her hand on Anna’s stomach. “He’s been kicking up a storm today,” Anna said.

  The baby squirmed. Ellie could see him moving just beneath the skin. It was cool and at the same time somewhat horrifying. It reminded Ellie of the movie alien for some reason. The baby kicked against her hand. “Wow!” Ellie said, her eyes wide. “That kid is strong.”

  “Tell me about it,” Anna said. A wondrous smile played across her features. Motherhood, no matter how uncomfortable it made her, agreed with Anna. It brought a small smile to Ellie's lips.

  “Well, I can't wait to meet him,” Ellie said.

  “Yeah.” Something in the tone of Anna’s voice made Ellie’s smile wilt a little at the edges.

  Ellie looked up at Edward. She couldn’t read the look on his face. His eyes danced. His smile was happy. Yet, there was something there. It registered on a level Ellie felt, rather than saw. It made the little hairs on the back of her neck turn to needles. It made her heart beat a touch faster.

  She took in a deep breath, just to blow all the air in her lungs away. Ellie forced herself to cuddle into him. Forced herself to relax against him. She couldn't let herself believe the things Reese said. Her brother was not lost. She practically screamed those words at herself.

  Ellie swallowed down her revulsion. Details of the body she found in the woods last week strobed in her mind’s eye. All of the people she’d watched Vincent maul, not one of them looked like that poor girl. Her bones gnawed upon, her flesh shredded. The hunger was an elemental thing. Ellie had come to grips with that long ago. But looking at that bloody, broken body, Ellie knew it wasn't the hunger. The wounds started small. He wanted her to feel pain. The little voice at the back of her head told her, he likes it.

  The idea that her brother could do that made her stomach roil. More than that, if he could sit here and smile so lovingly at her, maybe she had never known him. A killer she could live with. Some people need to die. The ends sometimes justify the means. It was a hard truth, but it was one Ellie knew down to her bones and could not deny. That didn't make her better. Ellie was every bit a monster as her boys. She was the first person to admit it. Someone who delighted in pain was different, though.

  She looked up into Edward’s laughing eyes. Ellie shook her head trying to convince herself that he wasn't guilty. It was the other one. It had to be. Ellie just couldn't make herself believe it. She swallowed hard. It didn’t matter. He was her brother. She would always love him. No matter what he did. What worried he
r most was the idea that unlike Reese, maybe Edward couldn't be saved.

  That thought brought tears to her eyes. Ellie blinked at them, forcing a smile to her lips. He wasn't gone yet. She flexed her fingers across Anna's bulging belly. Ellie was putting a lot of faith in the tiny thing that lived inside there. Ellie hoped he would be the light to lead her brother back to shore. She said a silent prayer that it would be enough.

  Ellie looked up at the house. Reese stood on the top step his arms folded over his chest. Vincent leaned against the square post. They were both staring at them, watching Edward intently. Neither of them liked it when Edward touched her. Ellie breathed in deep. Her entire body shuddered with it. She survived them. Ellie wasn't afraid of Edward, even if her suspicions were true. She was afraid for Edward.

  The look on Vincent's face worried her. She could read the apprehension from where she stood. Neither of them thought she noticed it, but at least one of them was at her side every moment of the day. They were taking shifts. Ellie knew why. She couldn't blame them. No matter how well they taught her to fight, how to shoot. If Edward lost it again, there would be nothing she could do to stop him. Ellie turned back to Edward.

  Plastering a smile on her face, she told them, “I'm going to let you guys bask.” She pulled away from Edward. He held onto her hand for a few steps their arms stretched between them. Ellie gave him one last look. She loved her big brother more than life itself. She heaved another sigh before heading back toward the house.

  Ellie took a moment to look back over her shoulder at them. The smile on Anna’s face was a little too brittle. Vincent taught Ellie everything she knew about love. Her relationship with the personality lasted a week total. She kept trying to tell herself it didn't really count. Not that she could make herself believe it. Neither were exactly what you could call the norm. However, she had seen enough movies and TV shows to recognize when a relationship was starting to crumble. Ellie could see the cracks in Anna’s foundation.