Damn it.
I should have known he was working tonight.
There’s no reason why his presence should ruin my fun, so I just need to pull myself together.
“Hey, Nick,” I say with a smile as I give the other bartender my card.
“You out with everyone tonight?” he asks casually. I’m assuming Jess hasn’t said a word about what happened, or else I might’ve been having an entirely different conversation.
“No, Viv and I are just having a girls’ night.”
“Ellie, what’s taking so long?” Viv comes up behind me and sees Nick. “Oh. Hey, Nick,” she says warmly.
“Hey, Viv.” He gives us a nod and heads to the other side of the bar.
The song playing ends. Then 50 Cent’s “Candy Shop” comes on, and Viv about loses her shit.
“Oh my god, I love this song!” she screams before downing her shots. Following her lead, I let the cool liquid run down my throat and put the glasses back on the bar. I can already feel the burning sensation overtake my body as Viv grabs my hand to lead me to the dance floor.
We push past the mass of bodies and go right to the center of the dance floor. Viv and I begin to move along to the music, with Viv lifting her hands in the air and dipping to the ground.
I, on the other hand, am swaying my hips back and forth to the song when I feel hands on my hips. Viv begins to giggle; two guys are now behind each of us, their hands traveling a little too far down if you ask me.
I pull out of the hold he has on me and reach for Viv’s hand with a cheeky laugh. She has no reservations in giving it to me, and I lead her to another part of the floor, closer to the bar.
For the next four songs, we dance with one another, twirling and giggling as we attempt to lose the attention of unwanted strangers. By the fifth song, I’m in need of another drink, but Viv keeps dancing.
“One vodka cranberry. Make it a double,” I tell Nick as I continue to sway my hips to the music.
Nick hands me my drink with a small smile and says it’s on the house. I down my drink with haste and spot Dylan across the bar. He seems to have spotted me, too, because he gives me a naughty smile and walks over to me.
“Eleanor Ivy, you never fail to impress. You look hot as hell,” he says.
I give a “what can I say?” look as I tip my head with a small smile. There’s no denying Dylan looks good in his designer jeans and blue shirt, but I can’t help noticing there’s no longer any attraction between us.
I mean, maybe there is for Dylan, but for me, I feel nothing for the guy. I look around the club for Viv and spot her on the crowded dance floor with Will.
Oh shit, Will.
Wherever Will is, Jess is sure to follow.
My stomach feels as if it has lead in it, but I try to keep a smile on my face as Dylan yaps on about something. I try to be interested, but I can’t stop my gaze from anxiously roaming the club for Jess. All I see are sweaty bodies grinding up against one another and the strobe lights from the dance floor.
“Don’t you think so, Ives?” Dylan’s voice infiltrates my thoughts, and I find myself nodding at the question I didn’t hear.
As I look back at Dylan’s face, I can’t help but notice how his expression has drastically changed. The smile he was wearing has vanished, and he looks annoyed.
“Dylan?” I ask cautiously. “What’s—” I can’t even finish my sentence because an arm slides around my waist and pulls me close.
I think I would have been more surprised if an alien were next to me. Jess Parker is looking at me with a smug smile, but I can tell there’s something else lingering in his expression.
As I pull out of his hold, I try to keep my face unreadable but can’t help the humiliation and anger that’s boiling to the front.
Obviously, Dylan isn’t too thrilled with Jess showing up either, because his greeting is less than warm.
“Jess,” Dylan says with gritted teeth.
Jess completely ignores Dylan and turns to face me, his eyes filled with misplaced concern and, if I’m not mistaken, anger.
What does he have to be angry about?
“Els, what the hell is going on? Wolf said you stopped by the house, but you didn’t stay.” His tone is filled with hurt, and it royally pisses me off.
I try to mask the pain I’m feeling. “Yeah, I stopped by. But you were otherwise occupied.” I say the last part with particular venom so he knows exactly what I’m talking about.
Realization dawns on his face.
“So that’s what this is about? Jesus, Els, you think I—”
“Jess, just stop.” I cut him off, no longer able to hear his bullshit. “I only came by to tell you yesterday was a mistake, but I see you didn’t need me to let you off the hook anyway.” I avert my gaze toward the floor, hoping he can’t see me through my lies.
“Why don’t you just leave her alone, dude? She clearly isn’t interested,” Dylan chimes in with a cocky arrogance.
No longer able to look away, I snap my gaze up just in time to see the anger that flashes across Jess’s face.
Taking a step forward, Jess meets Dylan’s stare. “Why don’t you stay out of it, Scott? You know nothing about what Eleanor wants,” he snaps back with heavy breaths.
“Well, I know she wanted me two nights ago,” Dylan fires back, adding wood to the fire that is burning in Jess.
Dylan’s comments have now made me equally as pissed off at him, giving me no desire to be around either of them. Realizing this is the beginning to a very horrible night, I step in.
“Both of you, just stop! I can speak for myself, and I’ll let you both know that right now, I don’t want to be around either of you,” I huff.
I keep my head held high and push past both of them, hoping that Viv will understand it’s time for me to call it a night.
Pushing through the crowds of people, I spot Viv at the other side of the bar with Will. Pink-and-green strobe lights cut across my vision as I make my way to her, but the sounds of shouting and glass shattering stop me midway.
I turn around just in time to see Jess’s fist connect to Dylan’s perfect skin with a thud. I watch in absolute horror as Dylan reacts by charging into Jess, knocking them both to the floor.
Fear churns in my stomach as the two of them go at it on the floor of Viper, neither holding back. Jess clearly has the upper hand and is on top of Dylan before I know it.
I feel Viv’s presence next to me as Will runs over to break up the brawl, which has now garnered the attention of almost everyone in the club. My eyes go wide in astonishment as Will and Mike do their best to pull the guys off of each other.
A fog comes over me as I look upon a mess I have yet again created.
“Maybe we should get out of here, Ellie. It looks like Will has this sorted,” Viv whispers in my ear as she loops her arm around my own.
Unable to really comprehend what’s going on, I nod and let Viv pull me out of Viper, my thoughts consuming me a thousand miles a minute.
As soon as we’re outside, the cold air pushes against me, instantly puncturing my lungs. Viv keeps ahold of me as we walk past the new bouncer and waiting guests toward the taxi stand.
“Ellie, do you know what that was about?” Viv says with concern.
I shake my head as it drops. “At this point, I don’t know, Viv. I’m all kinds of confused.”
The door to Viper bursts open and Dylan comes barreling through, bloody nose and all. As he walks toward me, I shake my head. “Don’t,” I mouth before turning away from him.
Incredulity floods his face and he walks to the other end of the street, where his friends are standing.
No matter how mad I was at Jess before, the only thing that matters right now is knowing that he’s okay. I wait anxiously next to Viv, and thankfully, not even minutes later Jess comes out.
Not even thinking, I yell out his name.
Big mistake.
For the millionth time today, I feel as if I’m being hit by
a truck.
Platinum-blonde hair and a pink mini dress obstruct my view of Jess. Tiff has her hands all over him as he storms out of the club. He has a small cut above his right eye and a bruise forming on his left cheek. His eyes are rimmed with fury, and blood has dried on the collar of his white shirt. He doesn’t even seem to see me as he goes to sit on the curb with Will and Tiff quickly behind him.
“He looks royally pissed, Eleanor,” Viv whispers next to me. I nod in agreement but can’t seem to get the words out.
My hands are trembling as I look at the disaster I’ve created. I know now what I have to do. Viv seems to notice, because she wraps her hand in mine. Her face twists in concern as she looks at me with prying eyes.
“Eleanor…” Viv says cautiously. “I know that look. What are you gonna do?”
“I never should have gotten involved with him, Viv. It was a mistake and now I have to end it. All of it.” Determination sets upon my face as I pull my hand out of Vivian’s.
“Ellie, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but don’t do something you will regret. Jess really cares for you. I know it might not seem that way with the way Tiff is hanging around, but I honestly think that’s just because he saw you with Dylan.” Viv is beginning to sound desperate, and I know she can tell I’m about to do something reckless.
“Exactly. Seeing me with Dylan pisses him off,” I state with certainty.
Going home with Dylan will end things.
“Eleanor, you aren’t thinking of doing what I think you are. Please think about the repercussions, Ellie,” she pleads with me. “He might never forgive you,” she says so softly that I barely hear it.
“I hope he doesn’t,” I whisper back. I close my eyes and take in a deep breath of the frosty midnight air.
I open my eyes to see Jess’s gaze burning a hole in me from across the parking lot. Goose bumps encompass my entire body, and a wave of nausea runs through me.
This will end it. Jess won’t want anything to do with me after this. I’ll get what I want.
Ignoring Jess’s stare, I cross the lot to the other end of the sidewalk where Dylan is standing with his friends. Jess’s eyes bore into me as I walk, and I do everything to try to ignore them.
Dylan sees me approach and turns to face me with an unreadable look on his face. I can’t even look at him as I muster the courage to say what’s coming next.
“Want to get out of here?” I ask as I stare down at the pavement. I take a brief moment to peek into his face, upon which a smug smile of victory forms.
Not saying a word, he reaches for my hand and pulls me toward a vacant taxi. I risk glancing at Jess and wish I hadn’t. The anger that was there before is gone, and a look of betrayal is painted across his face.
I duck my head in shame as I get into the taxi, not even bothering to look up at Dylan. It’s times like these when I understand my hesitance to let people in. It hurts like hell when you have to shut them out.
It’s been raining all night. The sky is an ominous shade of gray as it looms over the city, threatening to burst any minute. I guess you could say the weather is like my mood.
I’ve been staring at my untouched bowl of cereal for the past thirty minutes. The artificial colors of the round holes have begun to bleed into the milk, turning it a murky shade of pink.
The horrors of last night replay constantly in my mind, and with them, the endless stream of questions. Questions that I fail to have any answers to.
“Ellie?” The sound of Viv’s voice snaps me out of my trance. I reluctantly pull my gaze away from my soggy cereal and onto Viv.
She sucks in a breath at the sight of me, but I already know I look like shit. I feel like it too.
“Jesus, Eleanor, you’re not looking so hot. Did you get any sleep last night?” Vivian quickly sits on the stool next to me and takes my face in her hands, searching for any sign of life in me.
I try to look away, unable to take another person analyzing me. Lord knows I’ve been doing it to myself for the past six hours.
“I’m fine,” I mumble, then proceed to get off the stool and flee into the kitchen. I dump my cereal into the sink without a second thought and tell Viv I’m taking a shower.
The look on Viv’s face tells me she wants me to open up more, be honest like yesterday. But I think she knows as well as I do that it would be asking a lot. Especially considering the end result of that pep talk.
Looking in the mirror of my cold bathroom, I can see why Viv is so freaked out. I don’t look like myself. I am not myself.
I am angry.
I’m angry at Dylan for being an asshole. Angry at Jess for hurting me. But mostly I’m angry at myself for allowing that hurt to get to me.
And now I have to get ready for my English Lit class. With Jess. Even the thought of being in a classroom with him, let alone next to him, makes me feel sick.
He saw me get into the car with Dylan last night, the final blow to any remnants of a relationship we had. I can never tell him what really went down with Dylan, but I figure he doesn’t even have a right to know. He was with Tiff, so what do I have to feel guilty about?
My head is telling me that I have nothing to feel guilty about, but my heart. My fucking heart is telling me I fucked up. Big time.
Attempting to ignore my stupid heart, I spend the next hour getting ready for class, attempting to look more like a person than the corpse staring back at me. Fifty-five minutes in and I only look okay.
My auburn curls are full of the life that my face is currently lacking. Instead of my usually flushed face, I look hollowed out, almost sickly, but I don’t have the energy to focus on that right now. I put on a coat of mascara, hoping it will liven up my angry brown eyes, but no such luck.
I push open my bathroom door and head to the kitchen to grab my purse and car keys. The shower is running in the other room, so I know I won’t have to face Viv until later tonight.
By then I will at least have pulled myself together.
Dice
The drive to class is long and tortuous. I can barely keep my nerves at bay at the thought of seeing Jess.
Will he be pissed? Will he be sad? Shit, will he even care?
The last thought is what scares me the most.
Reluctantly I pull into a space, then head into Bosworth Conservatory. Class is ten minutes from beginning, and I opt for a seat in the back rather than my usual place next to Jess.
Call me a coward, but I can’t face him.
Fifteen minutes into class and Jess Parker is a no-show. I should have figured he would skip after everything that’s happened. Lord knows I should have.
With one hour left of class, I can’t seem to be here any longer. While Stein’s back is turned, I use the opportunity to slip out. I thank my lucky stars when I reach my car without anyone stopping me.
That is, until my phone rings. I anxiously look at the screen but feel no relief when the name Brando appears. He’s one of the last people I want to talk to right now.
After pressing Ignore, I quickly get into my car and take solace in the shelter it provides me as the gray clouds from this morning finally break, drenching everything in their wake.
It takes me less than ten minutes to get home, but a rush of unease overtakes me. A nagging dread fills my stomach when I see his black truck parked in front of my apartment.
It’s time to decide. Face him now or drive away and ignore it for as long as I can. Although the latter seems a lot more enjoyable, I know it’s the wrong choice. I give myself a pep talk as I head up the stairs in my building, knowing he’s probably going to be waiting at the top of them.
As soon as I spot him, the air leaves my lungs. He looks almost as bad as I feel, and I fight the urge to hug him, beg for forgiveness, and pretend that this whole week never happened.
No, Eleanor. You both hurt each other.
I tell myself that the entire time I walk toward him. His face is unreadable as he leans against my apartment door, arms crossed.
“What are you doing here?” I manage to get out.
Incredulity floods his face as he looks at me. “What am I doing here? Are you fucking kidding me, Eleanor?”
I flinch at the harshness of his words but accept them as I push past him to get to my apartment.
“You can come in, but that needs to stay out here.” He knows I’m referring to his attitude, and his face twists in what looks like guilt for being so harsh only seconds ago.
He nods, and I push the apartment door open. None of the lights are on, and the only thing to be heard is the rain pouring outside.
As I walk through the apartment, I reluctantly turn on all of the lights. I guess in a way the light makes me feel exposed, almost vulnerable to him.
Before I can even figure out where to start, he does it for me.
“I don’t understand, Els. What the hell happened between us?” Sadness overtakes me as I turn to look at him. Dressed in a white tee and jeans, his brown hair disheveled, he looks like a modern-day James Dean. Only he’s sad, his eyes shining with regret and confusion as he looks upon me.
I look away, unable to meet his stare. “Our friendship just ran its course,” I lie.
“Eleanor, please. Don’t give me that bullshit,” he pleads. “Nothing happened with Tiffany.” His voice begs me to believe him.
The mention of her name makes my head snap up, and for once I can’t look away.
He takes this as a cue to continue. “She came over unannounced and threw herself at me. I told her I wasn’t interested, and she left seconds after you sped away. I promise. I would never do that to you.”
Relief floods my system as I realize the truth in his words. I never trust people, but there’s something about Jess Parker that makes me know he’s telling the truth. But with that relief comes a tsunami of regret. Regret for the way I treated him at the club and for what I’m about to do.
“Okay, Jess. I believe you, and I appreciate you telling me. You can go now,” I state, keeping my face blank.
As much as I hate doing it, I got a glimpse last night of what being with me would do to him. Better he resent me now than despise me later.
Brief Encounters_The Encounters Series Page 16
