Shift Out of Luck

by Abigail Owen

  No. As far as Tala could tell, her wolf viewed Marrok, in both his forms, as her equal. Perhaps that was it? No other alpha could claim equal status until now, and her wolf took that as a threat? That didn’t feel like it, either. Whatever drove her animal, a dark emotion swirled inside her.

  One more fucking complication.

  Before Tala could pinpoint the issue, another car pulled up behind Astra’s. The driver, one of Marrok’s men, got out and handed him the car keys before leaving.

  Slowly, she made her way down the wide steps to both of them. A quick glance at her sister showed her watching with quiet interest. Unusual for her. Did she sense the same determination from Marrok that Tala was feeling?

  Ignoring Astra for the moment, Tala stopped before her mate.

  “Can I run an idea past you before you decide to leave?” he asked. Softly.

  He was asking, not telling. That alone had her wolf pricking her ears. Curiosity piqued despite her determination to remain distant. She crossed her arms against the pull he had for her. “What is it?”

  His mouth tightened almost imperceptibly. “I propose you and I go somewhere. Alone.”

  She drew her brows down, even as her heart gave an extra thump. “What for?”

  He searched her eyes, but she gave him nothing.

  “You’ve said I have to share being alpha, and I have to earn you…”

  Her heart rate wanted to speed up, but with effort she forced it to remain steady and gave a small nod for him to continue.

  “I want to do that. I want to make this work. For our packs…and for us.”

  Did he really mean this? She remained silent, waiting.

  “It seems to me,” he continued, “the best way is to spend time alone, without our packs watching and the pressures of leading. If we got to know each other better—” He waved a hand.

  Tala tried not to find the fact endearing that he was floundering with what had to be a new situation. “You want to take a honeymoon?”

  His amazing blue eyes flared with desire, only to be banked to smoldering. Tala swallowed.

  “No sex,” Marrok said.

  Okay… Her wolf cocked her head. “No sex,” Tala said slowly.

  “Correct. In addition to getting to know each other better, we’d spend time hammering out details for our packs and how we want to lead. Together. Then, when we return to our packs, we’ll be on the same page.”

  She had to admit his plan had merit. More important, he wasn’t issuing a demand. That alone was a step in the right direction. Can we keep our hands off each other, though? Even now her body strained toward him; she wanted his hands on her body, him inside her, over her, around her…

  Marrok interrupted her contemplation. “I think we can, if we both agree. Alphas have more willpower than most.”

  Tala blinked, and her face flared hot. Had she said that aloud? Or had he sensed it through their link? What she got from him was minimal. A flash here and there. “How long are you thinking?” she asked.

  “A week to start. More or less depending on the progress we make.”

  Now he was making this sound like a business deal only. Irritation lanced through her. At herself. Their marriage was a business deal only. She had no right or reason to wish for…more.

  “Where?”

  “The cabin.”

  Her cabin?

  They hadn’t talked about it since the days right after their mating and her bid to help the nymph who’d risked so much for them. Marrok wanted to go there?

  “There’s only one bed in there.” She chanced a glance at Astra who, thankfully, continued to watch all this in silence.

  “I’ll sleep on the couch,” Marrok said.

  She would not be disappointed. She’d told him he had to earn his way back into her bed, and she meant it. Tala pursed her lips. “Okay.”

  “Okay?” Again, he searched her expression, eyes intent. “As in yes?”

  “I agree with your plan.”

  When it came down to it, deciding to leave him was the hardest damn thing she’d ever had to do. That, in and of itself, was a shock to her system. Jarring. Like walking into a glass door when you thought nothing was there.

  Usually a master at hiding her emotions, she honestly had no idea what she was feeling, and, therefore, what he was seeing. Or what he felt about her agreement. He was equally proficient at concealing his emotions. She focused on that elusive connection, more faint today than it had been the night they mated. An echo reached to her, like her own footsteps inside a tunnel. Satisfaction seemed to be a big part of his reaction. Satisfaction and…relief. Relief? That emotion would indicate an emotional investment in this working.

  Of course, he’s invested, dummy. His pack needs the peace as much as yours.

  Marrok touched her hand softly. “I want this to work for us as much as for our people.”

  Seriously. Was the man a mind reader?

  Abruptly he turned away and started moving her luggage from Astra’s car to his own, which already had his own suitcase in the trunk.

  Tala moved to give her sister a hug. “You’re still in charge while I’m gone.”

  “I figured. Good luck,” Astra whispered in her ear, then got in her car and drove away.

  Marrok stood at the driver’s side door waiting, and Tala moved around to the passenger side slowly, running her mind over his actions and words and what she’d just agreed to.

  A small beacon of hope sparked inside her. Maybe this mating could work after all. The cautious voice in her head—not that of her wolf, who was anything but cautious and still wary—but her own self, warned her to reserve judgment.

  She’d give Marrok a week. Then they’d see.

  Chapter Eight

  The cabin, so familiar, was tucked away in the middle of the wilderness. Tala had been born in this cabin, long before being an alpha was even an inkling of a thought to her family.

  The building was as basic as you could get, smelling of the pine trees from which the logs had been hewn. It boasted a combined kitchen and living area with a small separate bathroom on the first floor and a ladder leading up to a loft that functioned as a bedroom. Minimal furniture, a power generator, and a well system for water afforded all the required comforts of living. A large pond was situated within walking distance, down a steep hill from the flat clearing on which the cabin was situated.

  The winding route to get here had taken a good few hours. After enjoying a private run around the property, letting her wolf out to roam, at Marrok’s suggestion, she felt worlds better. Looser. Freer here, away from all those judging gazes.

  After shifting, she swiftly pulled on a pair of jeans and navy cotton tank top. She wrapped a thick leather belt around her waist and twisted her hair up, securing it with her hair sticks. Finally, she pulled on a pair of hiking boots Leia had left behind and tied them up. Then let herself into the cabin.

  “What’s this?” Tala couldn’t contain her shocked outburst at finding Marrok in the kitchen.

  Alpha males did not cook. Period.

  Hell, she was an alpha female, and she didn’t cook. Nevertheless, the cabin was filled with the mouthwatering scent of ground beef, and a pot of water boiled softly on the cooktop. Her stomach chose that instant to gurgle, and her wolf lolled her tongue at the prospect of food. Dang, she was famished.

  A good run always did that to her.

  Her mate turned and grinned over his shoulder, his eyes crinkling in a playful way that tugged at her heart.

  “Spaghetti.” He waved at a jar of sauce on the counter with his spatula. “Nothing fancy.”

  Why did a simple act like cooking dinner for her make her feel all warm and fuzzy? Tala wasn’t sure she wanted to inspect the emotion further. Weakness in an alpha wasn’t going to get her anywhere. And Marrok could be a big weakness.

>   “Can I help?” Doing something, anything, would make this uncomfortable, stomach- churning sensation go away.

  “You can sit and take a break.”

  Tala eyed the small wood table with two chairs as if it were a snake that might bite her.

  “Problem?”

  “I don’t sit still well,” she murmured. She was almost as bad as a hummingbird shifter that way.

  Marrok’s deep laugh pulled her out of her head. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. The rumbling sound warmed her from the inside out. She’d always liked his laugh, from the very first moment. Wouldn’t mind hearing it more. Her shoulders slumped. She wasn’t funny or witty, so getting him to laugh with her was about as likely as making the change without pain. Irritation followed closely on the heels of her uncharacteristic self-pity. What was she thinking?

  To distract herself, she set the table and got them both water. Enjoying the blast of cool against her skin, she got the ice out of trays from the freezer, popping each cube out with a satisfying push.

  Then she pulled together a basic salad from the few fresh veggies in the fridge. She searched the cabinets. “Only olive oil for dressing I’m afraid.”

  “That’s fine.”

  Out of things to do, she finally sat. With nothing else to focus on, she watched her mate as he shuffled around the small space. His movements smooth and easy, he obviously was comfortable in a kitchen. Damn, did he have a fantastic ass. Memories of digging her claws into him, kneading him, assailed her, turning up her core temperature more than a few notches. She forced her gaze away, focusing instead on the familiar view outside the window.

  Thankfully, he put a plate down in front of her only a few minutes later. A soft moan escaped her as the first tangy bite hit her tongue. Hungry didn’t begin to describe the yawning pit in her stomach. “This is good.”

  “Thanks.”

  A tension in his voice fairly crackled through the tenuous mating connection and had her glancing up to find him staring at her lips with utter fascination. An answering heat flared and fused with her blood, moving through her body, but Marrok dragged his gaze away, breaking the intimacy. Their connection went dark, as though he’d turned off whatever he was feeling.

  Just like she did.

  They spent the first few minutes concentrating on eating. The change always made her ravenous.

  “So…”

  She glanced up at Marrok’s hesitation to find him watching her with interest. She raised her eyebrows in question.

  “Tell me about your family,” he prompted.

  Now she dropped her brows in a frown as she finished chewing a bite. “Why?”

  “Other than Astra, they weren’t at the mating ceremony. Are they still alive?”

  She shook her head. “My parents died about five years ago. Car crash.” One the pack had blamed on the Banes clan but Tala secretly suspected had come from within her own. She’d been rising quickly in the ranks at the time.

  He reached across and gave her hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

  That he truly meant it gave her an odd warm fuzzy sensation again. His hand against hers was also warm…and strong and managed to send sizzles of sensation through her. At a simple touch. Gods, she was turning into a wimp with him.

  “Were you close?” he asked.

  She dropped her gaze and twirled a noodle on her fork. “Yes. They were devoted to each other. Both submissives, they were childhood sweethearts.”

  “Rare for submissives to give birth to an alpha.”

  “Two. Astra’s an alpha, too.”

  He grinned. “No interest in leading, I take it.”

  She pursed her lips. “None. Though she’s stepped up lately, with me on Banes land.”

  “But you wanted to be alpha?” The question was one she was used to.

  She shrugged. “My parents were idealists. They raised me to believe all the bloodshed was preventable. They believed a woman alpha would bring reason to the role, which could end the fighting, saving lives on both sides.”

  “So they encouraged you to become alpha?”

  “Not entirely. Their idea of a woman alpha was more theoretical. But I’m…driven, and I agreed with them. If I could end the fighting, that would be worth everything it took to become alpha.” As well as everything she sacrificed personally. Uncomfortable talking about herself this much, she tilted her head, curiosity getting the better of her. “What about you?”

  “I was raised not far from where we were mated until I was ten, at which point I moved to the pack community housing. My father was alpha before me, as you probably know.”

  She nodded around a sip of water. Everyone in the wolf shifter community knew of Channon Banes.

  “He wanted me to start life without the pressure and recognition of being the alpha’s son.”

  “Who did you live with?”

  “My grandparents.”

  “That must’ve been hard for your mother.”

  “Maternal is not a word I’d use for her, but my grandparents were wonderful people. They disagreed with the fighting, which is why they lived away from the pack.”

  That explained much of his willingness to seek peace, if he’d been raised believing the fighting to be wrong.

  “As you also know, your previous alpha killed my father.”

  She froze with her fork halfway to her mouth. Slowly she lowered it. “His death is why I challenged for alpha when I did.”

  Marrok leaned back in his chair, eyeing her thoughtfully. “Why?”

  “Your father’s death wasn’t warranted or right. He’d come to negotiate a truce. Eyolf killed him in cold blood.”

  “So you challenged him.”

  He left unsaid the fact that if Eyolf had been strong enough to take down his father, an intimidating wolf shifter with a reputation, then Tala’s abilities were perhaps greater than expected. She caught the realization in his eyes, nonetheless.

  Marrok blew out a long breath and ran his hands through his hair, mussing the dark waves in an adorably haphazard fashion. “Thank you for that.”

  She glanced away and shrugged one shoulder. “It was the right thing to do. Eyolf made many bad decisions for my pack.” Time to change the subject. “Is your mother still alive?”

  “Yes.” The tightening around his mouth told her a tension existed between mother and son. “She’s visiting an old friend in the Pyrenees.”

  Right. “Not happy about you mating your enemy?” she guessed.

  “She’ll come around when we have her first grandchild.”

  Tala startled, shock zipping across her nerve endings, stiffening her spine. Children. She honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead. Keeping their packs from killing one another and dealing with their mating was enough to keep her brain fully occupied.

  The mental image of carrying Marrok’s child in her belly, looking forward to the birth of that child, sent butterflies fluttering through her insides. Nice ones. Shock splintered through her at the realization. She wanted a child. Not any child. Marrok’s.

  But could they get past this alpha issue?

  She did her best to hide her astonishment as they finished dinner. Marrok was a surprisingly good listener. Under his gentle questioning, Tala found herself opening up to him as they talked about nothing in particular but still learned about each other. After dinner, Tala insisted on doing the dishes, since he’d cooked. They chatted more while she washed the dishes, then naturally migrated to the love seat in the small living area. Before she knew it, night had fallen.

  After Tala yawned for the fifth or sixth time, Marrok laughed. He stood and pulled her to her feet. “Time for bed, sleepyhead.”

  Warmth flushed through her in the most pleasant, surprising way, and an answering desire danced in his eyes. Instead of pulling her into his arms, though, he stepped back.<
br />
  Her confusion must’ve shown on her face, because he reached out and brushed her cheek. “I won’t come to your bed until you trust me.”

  Her eyes widened as disappointment warred with pride.

  “You told me I had to earn my way into your heart, and I mean to.”

  Actually, she’d said bed, but okay. For now, she couldn’t let that small slip be a distraction. This time apart was about their packs and leadership first and foremost.

  “I see.” She inhaled, gathering the strength to move away from him. With effort she did manage it, stepping back and over to the ladder leading to the loft, where the only bed was located. She glanced over her shoulder to find he hadn’t moved. “Goodnight.”

  “Sweet dreams…mate.”

  …

  Tala’s nose twitched as the rich aroma of coffee wafted to where she slept in the loft. She groaned as she rolled over and stretched. Sleep had eluded her last night as she’d lain in bed with her incredibly sexy, frustrating mate downstairs on the floor. The small love seat had not been big enough to hold his bulk, but even sleeping stretched out on the floor he seemed uncomfortable, and, as fully awake as she was, Tala could hear him moving around.

  A thousand times she’d debated going to him, answering the clamoring needs of her body. Even more so the strangest need to just be near him.

  But, in the end, she hadn’t.

  She’d meant it when she said he had to earn his way into her bed. This mission he was on now, caring for her, giving them time to discuss and agree on actions alone in order to present a united front to their people, was a good start. Before she rushed into trusting him, though, she needed to see him carry it through when they had an audience.

  Could he be both alpha and mate, not letting one get in the way of the other? Could she?

  Sunlight poured through the triangular window directly across from the loft. Another gorgeous day in the mountains. Her wolf perked up. Maybe later today she could take a run.

  The need for caffeine had her throwing back the covers. She pulled a sweater over her pajama bottoms and tank top and climbed downstairs on silent, bare feet.