Pelvic Flaws (An American in the UK Book 2)

by Nikki Ashton

  “Well you get a sock -.”

  “Isaac. No! Your sister doesn’t need to know.”

  “Yes I do. Isaac tell me.”

  “Put a sock on the end of-.”

  “Isaac!”

  As my eldest spawn grinned at me, my mobile began to ring. Searching around, I saw it on the side table, next to the sofa, but I was hemmed in by the ironing board and Annie.

  “Annie, phone please.”

  “Only if you let Isaac tell me the sock thing.”

  As my phone continued to ring insistently, I realised I really didn’t like my children very much.

  “Okay. Now pass me my phone.”

  Grinning at Isaac, Annie passed it to me. Snatching it from her hands, I answered without looking who it was, worried that Carl might have forgotten about picking Charlie up from football practice and it was the coach calling me.

  “Hello, Katie speaking.”

  “Hey, Katie,” a deep voice said. “It’s Dex.”

  My heart thudded an extra couple of beats as he said his name.

  “Hi, Dex,” I said quietly, not really wanting the kids to hear.

  I knew he probably wanted to speak to Isaac, but a couple of minutes of having his attention wouldn’t hurt.

  “Long time no speak,” I said, with a pathetic giggle.

  “Yeah, I reckon so.”

  He gave a chuckle, rich and deep, and it sent goose bumps over my skin. I drew in a quick breath and tried to move the ironing board one-handed, but gave up with a huff.

  “You okay?” he asked.

  “Oh yeah, sorry. I was just trying to move my ironing board.” I rolled my eyes and considered actually smacking myself across the face. Why the hell would he want to know that?

  “Mum,” Isaac hissed. “Does he want to talk to me?” He held his hand out for my phone, making a grabbing motion.

  I shook my head and held up a finger to indicate that I’d be finished making a tit of myself in one minute.

  “Sorry, I can call you back, if you’re busy,” Dex said.

  “No,” I almost screamed. “It’s fine.”

  “Oookaay,” he replied, sounding a little unsure.

  “Honestly it’s fine. What can I do for you?”

  “Why’s he ringing?” Annie asked Isaac loudly.

  “It’ll be my designs,” Isaac replied, pushing Annie aside to stand on the other side of the ironing board.

  “Actually, it’s you I want to speak to,” Dex said into my ear, with amusement, evidently having heard my loud mouthed son. “Although, I do believe another client as well as the one I told you about wants one of Isaac’s designs.”

  “Wow, really? That’s fantastic.” I realised I’d forgotten to tell Isaac Dex’s news from earlier. “I’ll let you tell him about them both.”

  “Has someone asked for my design?” Isaac grabbed for the phone, so I smacked his arm away and moved back a couple of feet, into the space behind me.

  “It’d be my pleasure,” Dex said. “But, like I said, I want to talk to you first.”

  I glanced at the kids and then turned to face the wall.

  “Okay,” I replied, tentatively. “What can I do for you?”

  I had no idea why he’d want to speak to me, but my heart was thudding and the butterflies in my stomach were going crazy.

  “Well,” he began. “I was wondering if you’d come to dinner with me.”

  “Me,” I gasped.

  Dex chuckled. “Yeah you, Katie.”

  “Are you sure you mean me?”

  He full on laughed. “Yeah, darlin’, I do mean you.”

  “I…I don’t…I’d love to.”

  “That’s great. You sure though, because you don’t really sound it.”

  “Oh God, no,” I cried. “I’m definitely sure, as long as you are. To be honest, I should be taking you, as a thank you for my car and Isaac’s drawings.”

  “No need, honestly. I didn’t do any of it for you to pay me back. I did it because I wanted to.”

  I sighed and mentally fanned myself, feeling hot for a whole other reason. It was still hormone related, but not the aged ravaged ones.

  “I’m beginning to find out that you’re a very nice man, Mr. Michaels.”

  “I am.”

  I couldn’t see him, but I knew Dex was smiling. The sexy one I’d seen before that showed the little crow’s feet at the side of his eyes – not that I’d studied him much.

  “What are they saying?” I heard Annie ask.

  I turned to see Isaac leaning across the ironing board, trying to listen. I found some strength from somewhere and being the loving mother that I was, I shoved him. Trying to keep his balance, Isaac grabbed the board. As it wobbled, I grabbed the iron and lifted it just in time, as Isaac fell to the floor, pulling the board on top of him.

  “Aagh,” he cried. “Shit, Mum.”

  Annie burst out laughing as Isaac groaned on the floor, and I watched, holding up the hot iron in one hand and my phone in the other.

  “Everything okay there?” Dex asked.

  “Just one second, Dex,” I said calmly, as I turned and unplugged the iron. “Annie get that off your brother.”

  “Do I have to,” she laughed. “Let me get a photo first.”

  “Just help me up, Annie, you idiot.”

  Annie lifted the ironing board and righted it.

  “Thanks,” I said, placing the iron back. “Okay, Dex, I’m back.”

  “Oh thanks, Mum,” Isaac moaned. “I’m fine, just in case you were wondering.”

  “Oh my God, that’s so funny.” Annie clutched her sides, watching her brother flail like a fish out of water.

  “Stop laughing and help me up.”

  “You sure you’re okay there?” Dex asked.

  “Oh yes, it’s just Isaac messing around.” I gave a quick glance to check my son wasn’t hurt, and turned to face the wall.

  “You have my full attention, I promise.”

  “Good to know darlin’,” he said, his deep voice full of sexual promise. “So, when can I take you on this date?”

  I really wanted to shout, ‘I can be ready in twenty minutes’, but even I, who hadn’t dated in over a year – not since an awful online dating experience with a software programmer who brought his own pickled egg to eat with dinner – knew you didn’t appear too keen.

  “That’s up to you,” I said, cringing at how asthmatic I suddenly sounded, due to the fact all the oxygen in my body had gone to my head and hadn’t left any for my lungs.

  “Okay, how about tonight?”

  I was shocked, feeling certain he’d say sometime later in the week, or the month, or even the year.

  “Tonight?” I squeaked.

  “Too soon?”

  “God no,” I cried. “I can be ready in an hour.”

  Sod sounding too keen.

  Dex started to laugh. “It’s still only four-thirty. I was thinking something a little later, maybe dinner. Unless you have to get back for the kids of course.”

  “No, no. The kids are fine,” I said, giving them a quick glance.

  “I’m not fine,” Isaac groaned. “I think I’ve bruised my spine.”

  I rolled my eyes and turned away. And I thought Annie was the drama queen.

  “Sorry, I didn’t realise the time, Dex. What time suits you?”

  “Is seven-thirty okay?”

  Was seven-thirty okay? Fuck yeah!

  “Okay, seven-thirty it is then.”

  “Oh shit, I said that out loud didn’t I?”

  “Yeah, darlin’ you did.” Dex let out his rumbling laugh again. “But something you should know, Katie.”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m just as eager to see you too.”

  It was at that point I did a little jig on the spot.

  Katie

  As soon as Isaac had finished getting the good news from Dex, I ran upstairs to make an emergency phone call.

  “Hi,” Mandy said, on answering.


  “Mandy, I need you – now!”

  “What’s wrong? Are the kids okay?” she asked in a high-pitch freak out.

  “Yes, sorry, nothing like that.” I replied, flinging open my wardrobe door. “Dex called.” I slammed a hand to my thudding heart as I assessed my clothes. “He asked me out to dinner, tonight.”

  The scream on the other end was ear-piercing.

  “Oh my God, you’re joking.”

  “No, no I’m not,” I cried. “And I have no idea what to wear.”

  “Where’s he taking you?” Mandy asked, sounding as though she was running.

  “I don’t know, he just asked me and I said yes. He said he’d pick me up at seven-thirty and then he needed to speak to Isaac and I didn’t get chance to ask. I didn’t even think to ask.”

  “Can’t you call him back and ask him, you’ll have an idea then what to put on?”

  “No way, I’m not calling him back. I’ll just have to guess and hope for the best.” I pushed a couple of hangers aside, looking at a black dress I’d had for my Uncle Stan’s funeral. It was nice, not too short, and had cute little cap sleeves. I pulled it out and noticed the egg mayonnaise stain down the front. Dry cleaning that as usual, I’d been too lazy to do anything about. “I’m freaking out here, Mandy. I don’t have a bloody clue.”

  “Well don’t, I’m on my way. I’ll be fifteen minutes, so go and get a shower.”

  “I had one earlier, after the gym.”

  “Well, have another. You’re bound to have sweated through nerves. Make sure you put on a lot of deodorant too.”

  “Okay,” I replied and then she was gone.

  “Do you think we should go shopping?” I asked Mandy, whose head was stuck in my wardrobe.

  “No time,” she replied. “There’ll be something in here.”

  “I’ve got a few dresses from those bloody awful sales dinners that Carl used to take me on,” I offered.

  As North West Sales Manager for an electronics company, Carl often had to wine and dine his clients and always took me along for support. I actually think it was more to do with me being able to drive him home so he could drink, but at least I got a few outfits out of it.

  “Nope,” Mandy said, hauling an armful of clothes on to my bed. “Dex doesn’t strike me as an uptight, pompous restaurant type of man. I’d say he’s more wine bars, or street food, so I’m thinking this will work.”

  Picking through the clothes, she held up a pair of dark, indigo blue, skinny jeans, a loose, white vest top with spaghetti straps, and a pink, single-breasted jacket with push up sleeves.

  “What do you think?”

  I heaved a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

  “You know, you’re perfectly capable of putting this outfit together yourself,” she said, giving me a soft smile.

  “I know, I just panicked.”

  “Ooh shoes. Do you have any that will go?”

  I nodded. “My navy wedges.”

  “Perfect. Now, take a deep breath and calm down. You’re starting to sweat again.”

  I felt under my arms and was indeed a little sticky. Then something dawned on me. “What if I have a hot sweat? Oh God, it’ll be so embarrassing.”

  “Drink lots of water and take your jacket off, and if you feel one starting just go to the loo and stay there until it passes.”

  I nodded, hoping that if I did have one, it was my usual two or three minutes and not a long fifteen minute one, which I got occasionally. As I contemplated that nightmare, there was a knock at the door.

  “Come in.”

  Annie appeared, looking a little concerned. “What’s going on Mum? First you run up here like your knickers are on fire, then Mandy turns up and runs up here without even saying hello.”

  “Oh sorry, love,” Mandy said, looking apologetic. “I didn’t mean to push past you at the door, it’s just I’d had the emergency call.”

  “So what’s the emergency? Mum, you’re not ill are you?”

  “God no,” I cried, rushing to take Annie’s hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. “I freaked out because Dex asked me out on a date.”

  “No way! How did I miss that?”

  “I think you were too busy wetting yourself at Isaac sprawled on the floor.”

  “That’s amazing, Mum. He’s pretty hot for an old man.”

  “He’s not old,” I protested.

  “How old is he?” Mandy asked.

  “I’ve no idea. I guess I’ll find out tonight.”

  “Is that what you’re wearing?” Annie nodded at the clothes laid out on my bed.

  “Is it okay?” I looked at my daughter warily, hoping that she agreed.

  “Yeah, you’ll look lit.”

  Mandy and I looked at each other and frowned.

  “Trust me,” Annie laughed. “It’s a good thing.”

  “Okay then,” Mandy said with a shrug of her shoulders. “Undies.”

  “Ugh, that’s my cue to leave.” Annie shuddered and leaned in to kiss my cheek. “You’ll look amazing, Mum, and Dex will think you’re really hot.”

  “Aww thanks, Annie.”

  “Right,” she said, opening the door. “I’m ordering Chinese for me and Isaac, I’m guessing you don’t want anything.”

  I shook my head. “There’s cash in my purse.”

  Annie grinned. “No need. Isaac’s paying from the money Dex paid him. You want to stay, Mandy.”

  “No thanks, love. We’re ordering takeaway ourselves later, seeing as the boys are both out, we thought we’d have some nice food, a bottle of wine...you know.” Mandy winked at me and grinned.

  “Shit, I’ve interrupted your sexy night in.”

  As Mandy waved me away, Annie grimaced and left the room.

  “You needed me,” Mandy said, as the door closed. “Jim was fine about it. The boys aren’t going out until about nine anyway. You know what it’s like, pre-drinks at a friend’s house first.”

  “I know,” I replied, shaking my head in disbelief. “What happened to going out at eight, getting as pissed as you could on a mix of white wine and Southern Comfort, and then mine sweeping once you got into the night club?”

  “Date rape drugs is what happened to mine sweeping, and buying a bottle of imported supermarket vodka is cheaper than paying for a poxy measure in those over designed, soulless pubs that you get nowadays.”

  I started to giggle. “Shit, we’re starting to sound like our parents, never mind dance like them.”

  “I know, I even said to Max the other day, ‘I remember this song when it was out the first time’. He looked at me as though I was ancient.”

  I sighed and glanced at myself in the mirror. “Unfortunately, Mandy, we are.”

  We enjoyed a moment of quiet contemplation and then Mandy reached for a paper carrier bag that I hadn’t noticed before. She looked inside, pulled out a couple of pieces of lace and threw them at me.

  Fumbling, I caught them and held out a bra and the skimpiest pair of knickers I’d ever seen.

  “We’re the same size, more or less,” Mandy said. “The cup size might be a little small, but we’ll see.”

  I look at the underwear and saw the labels were still attached. “Mandy, I can’t take these. You bought them to try and sex Jim up.”

  That thought did make me feel a little odd. Could I wear undies that had been purchased with the sole purpose of raising a hard on from my friend’s husband.

  Mandy waved me away. “I bought another four pairs, don’t worry. Plus, he has no problem getting sexed up, I just fancied wearing something nice for him.”

  That made me feel a little better, but I still had a vision of Jim in my head, so pushing it away, I examined the underwear. It really was very pretty and matching – I hadn’t had matching underwear for years.

  “At least let me pay for them,” I said, knowing they must have been expensive, the quality was so good.

  “Nope. Call it my date present to you.”

  “Mandy. It’s not like
he’s even going to see it.”

  “I mean it, Katie. This is your first date since your divorce, because you can’t count pickled egg man, and I’m so pleased for you. You actually like Dex and it doesn’t matter whether he sees them or not, they’ll make you feel sexy and he’ll see that and he’ll bloody well love it. Plus, I told you he was totally looking at your tits earlier.”

  We both started to laugh and then I pulled her in for a hug.

  “Thank you, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “You’d be bored shitless,” Mandy replied. “Now, go and put the damn underwear on.”

  Ten minutes later, I was standing in front of Mandy in a white lace bra and thong. I actually did feel sexy in the underwear, just like Mandy said I would. They weren’t those ridiculously small knickers that rested just under your belly. These were high and covered up the roundness and the stretch marks.

  “The bra fits well, actually,” Mandy said.

  As I adjusted the lace up the crack of my bum, she grimaced and scratched her head.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You do know it’s not 1986, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  What the hell was she getting at? I had no idea.

  “What on earth are you talking about?”

  “That!” Mandy cried with a disgusted tone, pointing in the region of my vagina.

  “My fanny?”

  “Is that what it is? I thought it was the bloody Black Forest. Bushy is not fashionable anymore, Katie.”

  I looked down and shrugged. “You’re not bare down their either. I’ve got pubes, so what.”

  “But no one wants to see them,” Mandy said, a little curtly, I should point out.

  “And no one will.” I stared at her wide-eyed. “I told you, it’s a first date and probably the only date I’ll have with him, because you know I’m going to cock it up somehow.”

  Mandy groaned. “Oh shut up, no you won’t. Well, not unless you show him that growler.”

  “Mandy! Please don’t call my fanny a growler.”

  “But it is,” she replied with a frown. “It looks like a shaggy dog. In fact, you remember Gnasher, Dennis the Menace’s dog, well it looks like that.”

  I turned to the mirror and looked at my reflection. Okay, so there were a few strays poking out at the sides of the white lace, but it wasn’t that bad.