Pelvic Flaws (An American in the UK Book 2)

by Nikki Ashton

  “Oh, okay.”

  He sounded a little disappointed. Dex, however, was grinning like some axe murderer who’d come across a gang of helpless teens in the woods. As I passed him to see Carl out, I poked him in his stomach and gave him a wide eyed ‘shut up’ stare.

  “Oof,” he groaned. “What was that for?”

  “You know what,” I hissed. “And don’t pretend it hurt because it didn’t.”

  He smirked at me and lifted his coffee mug to his lips. Seemingly oblivious, Carl moved over to the door.

  “Nice to see you again, Dex,” he said, only sounding the tiniest bit sincere.

  Dex put down his mug and got off his stool and walked toward Carl, with his hand outstretched.

  “Yeah, you too Carl. And thank you for agreeing to me being around the kids.” Dex’s face was suddenly serious as he stood opposite my ex-husband and shook his hand. “I know it was a difficult decision for you, but I swear to you I’d never do anything to hurt them.”

  Carl drew in a breath, looked at me and then nodded. “You’ve done a lot for Isaac already, and I really appreciate it. Okay, I’ll go and maybe I’ll catch Jessie before bed-time. Tell the kids I’ll pick them up on Sunday at about eleven, to go to my mum’s.”

  I gave him a nod and a smile and breathed out a sigh when I heard the front door close.

  “That man is regretting losing you, Katie Cat,” Dex said in an ‘I knew it’ kind of tone.

  “No he isn’t,” I scoffed. “He was just feeling a bit low because of what Isaac told him, anyway, he’s happy with Sophie.”

  “Not saying he still wants you, but I promise you he regrets losing you in the first place.”

  I shrugged and made to move past Dex, but he snagged me at the waist, pulling me against him. His mouth went to my ear and he nipped at my earlobe, sending a rush of excitement throbbing through me.

  “How long have we really got until Annie and Charlie are home?” he asked, kissing down my neck.

  “Oooh,” I said breathily, as he kissed back up to my jaw. “Only about a half hour or so, why?”

  “Because,” he replied, holding me tighter. “I have plans to kiss you until your lips are bruised and swollen.”

  “Okay, but what about my tap?” I asked, barely able to stop myself from climbing him like a tree.

  “It can wait,” Dex said in between kisses and nips along my jaw.

  “Okay,” I agreed.

  “Good, now let’s go get comfy.”

  The next thing I knew, I was over Dex’s shoulder, my bum in the air and he was striding towards the lounge.

  God, I really must suggest swimming disco’s to the Leisure Centre.

  Katie

  After Dex helped Isaac, and Carl had lifted his ban on him being around the kids, things were definitely hotting up between the two of us. Whenever we were together, he was charming and attentive, but he also made me laugh like I hadn’t done in years. Over the previous week, our two dates a week had increased to three and one or two at the weekend, depending on where the kids were or what they were doing. Aside from all that, we spoke on the phone three or four times a day as well as texting.

  They were flirty, fun text messages, but even so, I was certain that I was ready for the next step. I was just so scared that I’d forgotten what to do. Which was why I was sitting at eleven in the morning in my lounge with Mandy, curtains closed and watching a porn DVD.

  Mandy had suggested we go for Porn Hub, but seeing as we’d be using the laptop Charlie used, I didn’t think it was a good idea. I might well be able to clear my search history, but I couldn’t risk an advertisement popping up when Charlie was doing his homework, asking if he’d like to watch Suki with 48 double E tits get herself off. Hence we’d gone down the old fashioned route and Mandy had nipped in to the Polish sex shop in town and made a brown bag purchase.

  “I’m not sure this is totally necessary,” I groaned as she pulled out one DVD and then pushed the porno one into the player. “Can’t I just read a book or something?”

  “No,” Mandy stated defiantly, as she scrambled off her knees and plonked her bum on the floor near my chair. “Lying in the missionary position, or giving him a quick hand job just doesn’t cut it these days.”

  “What, you mean there’s trends in sex as well?”

  She turned and looked up at me. “According to bits I’ve Googled, anal is very 2012, and this year’s favorite is spooning.”

  “Spooning? But that’s just cuddling. It’s not even having sex.”

  Mandy rolled her eyes. “It’s spooning with dick action. He, the man, or Dex as he shall be called, spoons you but also penetrates you at the same time.”

  “Well he, the man, may not want to do that,” I protested.

  “So that’s what the DVD is for, so we can pick up a few other pointers. Positions that you can suggest to him.”

  “Which will make me sound like a sex maniac.” I reached for the remote control. “No, I’m not doing this. I’ll wing it.”

  “No,” Mandy snapped, slapping my hand away. “You can’t wing it. You’ve been sexually inactive for four years, you need to have some idea on what to do. Let’s face it, Dex getting through your hymen is going to be hard enough. It’s probably as thick as the Great Wall of China after all this time.”

  “Thank you for that, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t grow back.”

  “Hmm,” Mandy muttered, looking at the DVD box. “Maybe not, but there’s still be a load of cobwebs to tackle. Now, let’s get this started.”

  “I don’t suppose you know what it’s about, do you?” I sighed, wishing I’d never let her talk me in to it.

  “It’s Polish, but I think it’s called Best Sex. You ready?”

  Mandy leaned back against my chair and pointed the remote.

  “Go on then, let the lessons begin.”

  The screen flickered with a picture and then the title rolled, in a particularly dodgy font. In fact it was a little lopsided, and even though neither of us could read Polish, we both tilted our heads to look at it.

  “Bestia Seks,” I read out loud. “Best Sex?”

  Mandy nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s what it means.”

  Suddenly the title stopped and some weird guitar music started and a man wearing Lederhosen and leading a goat came onto the screen. He was greeted by a busty blonde woman who was wearing a pink, baby doll nightie, which was a little bizarre seeing as the scene was set in a field. The man and woman started kissing, her unbuttoning the front of his leather shorts, while he roughly squeezed her boobs.

  “He’s a bit unsophisticated,” Mandy complained.

  “Hmm, not sure I’d want him touching me up like that.”

  “What’s he doing now?”

  As we watched, the man led the goat towards the woman, who by now had removed her barely there nightie and was completely naked.

  “He’s...what the fuck?” I cried, slapping a hand over my eyes. “Shit, Mandy turn it off.”

  “Oh bloody hell,” Mandy screamed, pointing the remote at the TV. “That’s disgusting. Ugh, no way.”

  “Turn it off. Oh my God, I’m going to be sick.” I picked up a throw cushion and put it in front of my face. “Tell me when it’s off.”

  “The bloody thing won’t turn off.”

  I peeked from behind the cushion and saw Mandy stabbing at the remote, her head turned away from the picture. As she did the most hideous groaning and bleating noises were coming from the screen.

  “Give it to me.”

  I held my hand out for Mandy to slap the remote into it and then continued my own stabbing of buttons.

  “Maybe the batteries have gone,” Mandy offered.

  “Pass me the one for the actual TV. Quick.”

  Mandy crawled across the floor to pick up the TV remote and threw it to me. I caught it and pointed it at the TV and managed to turn the damn thing off.

  “Shit, that was awful,” Mandy groaned. “What the hell have they
sold me?”

  “Just Google the bloody title,” I snapped, having a really good idea on what they’d sold her.

  After a couple of minutes, Mandy looked up at me with her mouth agape.

  “Well?”

  “I’m so sorry,” she said, slowly shaking her head. “I had no idea.”

  “What is it Mandy? In fact don’t, I’ll tell you. Its bloody bestiality isn’t it.”

  She slapped a hand to her mouth and nodded. “It means, Beast Sex not Best Sex. Oh God Katie, I can’t apologize enough. I thought the guy behind the counter was giving me a strange look when I paid for it.”

  “He can’t judge, he’s the one selling the bloody thing.” I let out a sigh and put a hand to my thudding heart. “I can’t believe people actually do that sort of thing.”

  “Obviously they do.”

  “Well I think that’s put the end to my lessons,” I said with a shudder. “I think I’ll take my chances on Dex’s knowledge.”

  “You sure?” Mandy asked holding up a brown bag. “Because it was buy two get one free.”

  “So you’re positive you’re ready for the next step?” Mandy asked, dunking her biscuit into her tea. “Because it doesn’t seem as though Dex is pressurizing you otherwise.”

  “He isn’t, not at all, but I know he’d be ready if I was. I mean our snogging sessions are getting pretty heavy.”

  Mandy’s head shot up. “Really, ooh all the details please.”

  “It’s just snogging,” I replied with a shrug. “With some other bits thrown in.”

  “Like what…oh shit.” Mandy groaned as the end of her biscuit fell into her cup of tea.

  “Serves you right for having such a disgusting habit.”

  I passed her a teaspoon and grimaced as she fished around for a few seconds and then put the spoon and its contents in her mouth.

  “Okay, details,” she said around a mouthful of biscuit.

  I felt my face flush as I thought about our date the night before. I’d had my hand down Dex’s jeans and he had his inside my bra; just like we were a pair of teenagers. Except when I was a teenager, boys had no clue how to get me off just by sucking my nipples – oh yeah, Dex did that too while I pretty much dry humped him.

  “He’s very skilled, that’s all I’m saying at this point.” I gave her a grin and wiggled my eyebrows.

  “Well when you actually do the deed, I’ll need more than that, so be warned.” Mandy looked at me with narrowed eyes. “You haven’t been kidding me all this time and have already had sex with him, have you?”

  “No, I’d tell you. God, I’d probably put an ad out in the local paper, I’d be so excited by it.”

  “Four years is a long time,” she said wistfully. “You may well need lube.”

  I thought about how turned on Dex always got me and knew that there was no fear of me needing any such thing. The Vagisoothe had not been required for at least a couple of weeks.

  “Seriously though, hun, are you really worried?”

  I contemplated Mandy’s question and nodded with a sigh. “I’m not worried I’ve forgotten what to do, but I’m worried what I do know won’t be enough for him. He’s never said, but I’m guessing he’s had more than a couple of women in his bed. I’ve slept with two men in my whole life, Mandy. What if I’m too inexperienced for him?”

  “Well he’ll teach you some new tricks. That’s what having sex with someone you care about is all about, learning together, finding out what the other one likes. He might be just as nervous as you.”

  I curled my lip. “No way. Why would he?”

  “Because he likes you. He’ll want to make things good for you hun. There’s no way he’ll want you to think Carl was better.”

  I started laughing knowing that she was right. I hadn’t wanted Carl for a long time, but I still hoped that I was better in bed than Sophie. Of course I doubted I was, she was in her twenties and was probably as agile as a gymnast – the most intricate move I could make these days was putting my knickers on while brushing my teeth.

  “He might not care,” I replied.

  “Of course he will,” Mandy scoffed. “He’s a man, his ego will insist on him upping his game. And then his ego will bloody worry that he hasn’t upped it enough, so he’ll definitely be as nervous as you.”

  “I just can’t imagine Dex being nervous about anything,” I replied. “He’s so confident about absolutely everything.”

  “I’m sure he is, but believe me, this he won’t be.” Mandy gave me a soft smile as she pushed her mug away. “He cares about you and he won’t want to disappoint you, no matter what it is.”

  I thought about Mandy’s words and knew she was right. Dex always made sure I had the right drink or that my food was okay. He never liked me driving home alone and he always rang or text me throughout the day to check I was having a good day. He asked about my kids all the time, and it wasn’t just lip service, he was genuinely interested in them – he’d even given my son a job and mended my tap. He really didn’t want to disappoint me and so maybe he really was as nervous as I was.

  “I think I’m over thinking this,” I said, jutting out my chin in determination. “I need to let it happen naturally and if it’s not right the first time, I’m sure it’ll be perfect the second time.”

  “And the third, fourth, and fifth,” Mandy giggled. “And that’ll just be the first night.”

  “Shit,” I gasped. “I’ll be in agony.”

  “Ah, you’ll be fine. Muscle memory will kick in.”

  As we sat back in our chairs, the lounge door burst open and Annie barged in.

  “Bloody boys are bloody idiots,” she cried, flopping down onto an armchair.

  “Why what’s happened?” I asked, knowing it was bound to be something minor that she’d turned into a major drama “You break a nail or something?”

  “Oh funny, Mother. High Mandy, by the way.”

  “Hi Annie.” Mandy gave me a sly wink. “So what’s happened, why are boys such idiots?”

  “Harry bloody Baker is a dickhead.”

  “Annie, please, do you have to use such language?”

  “When did you start to worry about our language?” Annie asked.

  “It’s because I’m here,” Mandy said. “She’s worried that I’ll be offended.”

  “It’s because she’s supposed to be a young lady,” I said, giving Annie my best ‘mum isn’t happy’ stare. “Now tell me why he’s an idiot.”

  “Because,” she sighed, “he asked me out.”

  I blinked slowly and furrowed by brow. “But I thought that was what you wanted.”

  “It is, I just didn’t want him to do it when no one was around. He hung back after History and asked me.”

  “Did you say yes?”

  “Yeah, of course, but he’s going to have to step up his game if he wants to keep me that’s for sure.”

  I looked at Mandy and shrugged. “She gets her self-importance from her father evidently.” I turned back to Annie. “Why are you home, anyway?”

  “Oh, we’ve got to do an essay on Othello and we’ve been allowed to come home and do it.” Annie reached down into her bag and pulled out her laptop. “I’m going to watch the film.”

  “Are you allowed to do that?” Mandy asked.

  “Oh yeah,” Annie replied. “We have to read the book as well, but Miss Scott said it was okay to watch the film too. I got one of the five copies from the school library.”

  She got up from her seat and grabbed the remote control from the coffee table.

  “Am I okay to watch it now, Mum?”

  “Yes, no problem,” I replied a little distractedly. “Mandy and I will go into the kitchen. You can help me peel some potatoes.”

  “Oh thanks,” she grumbled good humoredly.

  We both got up and walked towards the door. As I reached to open it all I could hear was bleating and moans and what sounded like the words ‘sack ya’. I swung around to see the lederhosen man thrusting his rat
her large penis towards a very scared looking goat.

  “No!” I cried, making a grab for the remote.

  “Mum,” Annie gasped. “What the hell have you been watching?”

  “Oh shit,” Mandy muttered.

  I hid my face in my hands as more groans and moans came from the TV.

  “Your mum thought that-.”

  “No Mandy.” I slapped a hand over her mouth. “Do not say any more.”

  Mandy’s wide eyes stared at me over the top of my hand as she nodded.

  “You two are just weird,” Annie said, finally turning off the DVD. “Everyone knows that bloke at the sex shop sells dodgy DVDs. And I bet he conned you into his buy 2 get 1 free offer. He just uses it to get rid of his crap. Now, where’s my Othello DVD.”

  Sometimes, I had to wonder where I had gone wrong with my children.

  Dex

  “You want the same again?” Jethro asked, nodding at my empty glass. “Draft?”

  “Yeah please, and get him to make sure the glass is cold this time,” I sighed.

  Jethro grinned and went off to the bar. I’d been pretty shitty to be around all night. I wasn’t in a bad mood per se, just grumpy as fuck because Katie was out with her buddies and I hadn’t seen her for three days. What with work and family commitments we just hadn’t had time. It also pissed me off that the evening before she’d spent with Carl at Charlie’s parents/teacher conference - for three damn hours. He’d probably been looking at her, wishing she was still his for every single one of those hours.

  “Fuck,” I muttered to myself, wondering when I’d become such a whining pussy.

  Why was I worrying? She didn’t want him, and he didn’t want her, not really. I kinda got the impression he didn’t want her, but liked to think she’d always be there, single and bringing his kids up for him – alone. Yeah well, fuck that – she wasn’t single, not anymore.

  I looked down at my cell, hoping she might have texted me, but there was nothing. Aggravated, I pushed it to one side.

  “Looking at it won’t make it ring, you know,” Jethro said, putting a cold glass of beer in front of me.