Reckless Envy

by Joss Wood

  What was supposed to be a brief peck turned deeper and darker. Em’s arm came up to curl around his neck and she grabbed the fabric of his shirt with her other hand, twisting it in her fist as her mouth opened to his.

  He couldn’t resist; he didn’t want to resist. Matt held her face in both his hands as his tongue swept into her mouth. She tasted liked strawberry-flavored lip gloss, the lemonade she was drinking, of heaven and hell. Heaven because he could stand here, at this odd angle for the rest of his life just kissing her. And hell because he knew that at any moment she’d return to her senses and push him away.

  He felt her stiffen, her tongue retreating from his...three, two, one...

  Yep, and she was gone.

  Matt dropped a kiss on the top of her head before taking the seat opposite her, waiting for her to look at him. When she did, Emily showed him the back of her left hand and the god-awful diamond she sported on her ring finger. “Engaged, remember?”

  “You don’t kiss like you are,” Matt retorted, frustrated.

  Emily twisted her head to look inside the restaurant, to see if anyone was watching them. He caught the panic and fear in her eyes and that just pissed him off. “The only other customers are three old guys at the bar who are playing cards. Relax, for God’s sake,” he told her, his tone terse.

  Emily faced forward again and gripped the sides of her head with both hands. “You’re not helping, Matteo.”

  Matt tipped his face to the sun and looked at the blue sky above. He could argue with her, tell her that he knew she didn’t love Morris and demand to know why she was engaged. Honestly, if he could shake the truth out of her, he would.

  But it wasn’t curiosity driving him, or his innate need to be the best; he just wanted to help Emily because he was damn sure she needed it.

  For the first time ever, Matt wanted to take on someone else’s fight. But he couldn’t, not until she opened up and let him in. Matt was coming to understand that Em was scared but she was also stubborn. He wouldn’t get anywhere by pushing her.

  A waitress approached them, told them about the catch of the day and reassured them that the restaurant was famous for their seafood and that, over weekends, tables were hard to come by. When the waitress walked away with their orders, Matt leaned back and linked his hands over his flat stomach.

  “Tell me about Arnott’s.”

  Emily pushed a long, pale strand of hair out of her eyes but the wind just blew it back. Emily dug into her bag, pulled out a band and quickly and efficiently pulled her hair off her face and into a rough knot at the back of her head. Gorgeous.

  “That’s a broad question—what would you like to know?”

  “Tell me how you got into looking after managing your clients with special needs,” Matt clarified his question.

  “Ah.” Emily half turned in her chair and crossed her legs, her shoe dangling off the top of her foot. “Well, Davy is four years older than me and when he turned eighteen, he moved into Brook Village. Dad’s small financial services company was doing quite well back then because, as you gathered, the residential village is not cheap.”

  He’d looked up their fees online, not cheap was an understatement.

  “Davy loved it but, six months after he started living there, Dad lost most of his money when Black Crescent crashed. I was fourteen at the time.”

  So many people had been impacted by Vernon Lowell’s actions but Matt hadn’t realized the Arnotts were one of the families that had been affected. “Your dad is an investor himself—why did he put his money into Black Crescent?”

  Emily stared out to sea, obviously debating how much to say. “Vernon Lowell and my dad were good friends back in the day. My dad knows the mechanics of buying and selling but he has no instinct for trading. He only ever buys safe, solid stocks, small gains over the long term. He admired Vernon’s verve and willingness to take a risk and he invested a little money with him and it earned a huge return. Then he invested more and more until all his savings were tied up in Black Crescent. Then Lowell disappeared and so did all his investors’ cash.”

  It was a story Matt had heard so many times before.

  Emily’s eyes fogged over with pain. “My mom left shortly after Black Crescent crashed and my dad sank into a deep depression. Eventually, he pulled himself out of the fog and started to run the business again but Davy and I lost him to his work.”

  “And you felt abandoned. For the second time.”

  Emily nodded. “You’re very astute and yes, I did. I’ve never felt so alone as I did for those six months. It wasn’t a great time.”

  Matt knew what it felt like to feel alone. He’d lived that way most of his life. “I understand that more than you know. And your mom? Do you have any contact with her?” Matt asked.

  “I went to see her after she left. I caught a bus, traveled for six hours. I got to her new place, rang the doorbell and she bundled me into her car and drove me straight back to the bus station. She told me that it was my job to look after my dad and Davy, that she’d done it for long enough and she deserved a normal family.”

  “Jesus.”

  “It really confirmed what I always suspected, that she didn’t love me or want us. Then again, I did have a hint of what she was going to do when I was eight,” Emily said, her voice flat and emotionless. “I knew she was going to leave me...leave us. God, I don’t know why I’m telling you this—I don’t generally rake up the past.”

  Matt ignored that comment, curious as to why so young a child would suspect her mother was going to leave. “How did you know that?”

  Emily answered his gentle question. “We were in a shop and I needed shoes, or a jacket, something for school,” Emily told him, drawing patterns on the wooden table with her thumbnail. “I wanted to look at a toy, or something, told her that I’d be right back, asked her if she’d wait for me and kept asking for reassurance that she’d be where I left her.”

  “And she wasn’t.”

  Emily’s eyes deepened with pain. “They found me somewhere in the store, crying. I remember looking for her but not finding her. They took me home and she was there and she told the authorities that she was on her way to the police to report me missing. I knew that to be a lie.”

  “Did you tell your dad?”

  “She told me not to, that my dad would be mad at me and wouldn’t love me anymore if I tattled on her.”

  Matt’s mouth dropped open. “What? God, Em.”

  “I know it happened a long time ago but, to this day, I’ll still do anything not to upset him.” Emily tried to smile. “I sense that you didn’t have a great relationship with your dad,” Emily said, turning the spotlight on him.

  “With either of my parents,” Matt quietly answered her, wondering why he was discussing his past with Emily when he never discussed his family with anyone. Ever. But she’d opened up so he should reciprocate, just a little. His estranged relationship with his parents and brother was an open secret and, while she was the first person he’d discuss his past with, it didn’t mean anything more than friendship. And telling her wouldn’t hurt...

  “They were all about Juan—”

  “Your brilliant older brother.” Emily placed her chin in the palm of her hand, her eyes steady on his face. “Is he why you became Falling Brook’s greatest rebel?”

  “Everything in our house revolved around Juan. I spent a lot of my childhood and teens looking for attention, the good, bad and ugly,” Matt admitted. “I finally grew out of acting like an ass when I went to college.”

  “Do you have a relationship with them now?” Emily asked, her voice soft.

  Matt shook his head. “We speak every six months, exchange awkward calls at Christmas and on birthdays. Do you talk to your mom?”

  “No, she threw herself into being the mother to the daughters of the man she left my father for.” Emily’s mouth fla
ttened in pain. “I never understood how she could just walk away and replace me. But she did.”

  Matt knew that if he offered any comfort, the spell between them would be broken and Em would clam up. So instead of offering empty platitudes, he just kept his eyes on her, his expression empathetic but holding no pity. He loathed pity and suspected that Emily did too.

  A strand of that blond-white hair blew across her eyes, defied the knot and Emily tucked it behind her ear. She looked away and when she spoke again, Matt knew that the door to her soul was firmly latched. “So, I wonder if the rumors about Joshua Lowell’s love child are true?”

  It was a hell of a change of subject. “We overheard him telling his brother that he didn’t have a daughter, remember?” Matt replied “And let’s not forget that Falling Brook is a small town and rumors frequently don’t have any basis in fact.”

  “But, hypothetically, what would happen if there is a secret love child? Will she inherit Joshua’s wealth?”

  “Or she could be an imposter trying to con the family out of their money,” Matt suggested.

  “Cynical,” Emily commented.

  “Very,” Matt agreed. “Just like I’m cynical about your engagement to Morris.”

  Emily tipped her head back and released a huff of annoyance. “I was, almost, having a nice time.” Emily placed her forearms on the table and lifted those big, bold eyes to meet his. They were eyes he could look into for eternity and he’d never be bored with the ever-changing shades of blue. “Can we please, please, talk about something else?”

  Matt looked down at the ring on her finger and felt nausea swirl in his stomach. He so desperately wanted to rip it off her hand and toss it into the ocean.

  Matt took a long sip of his beer before reluctantly nodding. “Okay. Let’s not talk about jerk-face.”

  Wanting to go back to the easy conversation they’d been enjoying before he raised the subject of Morris—idiot!—he’d seized on the first topic to jump into his head. “We were talking about Black Crescent... I’ve had some discussions with Joshua Lowell about me filling the CEO position.”

  Surprise jumped into her eyes. “But why? I thought you were happy at MJR. And isn’t MJR bigger than Black Crescent? Wouldn’t that be a step down for you?”

  Matt didn’t hesitate to tell her his thinking behind his decision to apply for the position. “I’ve hit a ceiling with MJR—I’ve been CEO for five years and I think the shareholders have become a bit complacent about my abilities.”

  Emily lifted her eyebrows. “I’m trying to decide whether you’re being a boastful jerk or just ridiculously honest.”

  “Ridiculously honest,” Matt told her, his tone sincere. “I’m very competitive and I don’t like to lose.”

  “Is that why you are here with me?” Emily asked, and her question punched him in the gut. Until recently, he would’ve had to answer in the affirmative, reluctantly admitting that part of his wanting to be with her had to do with his competitive nature and his dislike for Morris.

  But that had faded and Matt knew that he wanted to be with Emily, any way he could. And if all that meant was talking to her in a near-empty restaurant, he’d take it.

  “I’m here because there is nowhere, right now, I’d rather be.”

  Emily looked doubtful and he didn’t blame her; he sounded cheesy but, sometimes, the truth was cheesy. Sad but true.

  Needing to get into safer water, Matt reverted back to the topic of the career. “I’m damn good at my job and I am very, very good at reading the markets. I make sure my staff keeps making MJR and our clients a lot of money. I’ve proved my value to the company and I’m due for a significant raise but the board is hemming and hawing.”

  “And you are hoping that Black Crescent will make you an offer you can take to the MJR board to force their hand.”

  That had been the initial plan. “But I also like the idea of taking a smaller fund and growing it as I did for MJR. So, if Black Crescent’s offer is good, I might move.”

  “That’s not very loyal of you.”

  “That’s unfair, Emily.”

  Emily frowned at his quick response. “Why? You’ve just told me you’re happy to jump ship.”

  “That’s business, and it’s expected. But in personal relationships, and once I’ve decided someone is worthy of my loyalty, I’m as loyal as hell.”

  Matt held her eyes and slowly, softly, he saw her cynicism fade and embarrassment stroll in. “Sorry. You’re right, it was an unfair comment.”

  Matt appreciated her apology. So many people would’ve moved on from the moment and brushed it off; Emily faced it head-on. “Accepted.” He added, “When I make up my mind to stand in someone’s corner, Em, nothing short of a bomb will dislodge me.”

  “And you’re wanting to stand in my corner?” Emily asked, sounding dubious.

  “You’re catching on,” Matt replied with an easy grin.

  Emily nibbled on the inside of her lip, looking confused. And gorgeous. “I don’t understand why because you should be running a million miles away from me. I am engaged, I’ve kissed you, I’ve basically cheated on my fiancé. On the surface, I don’t seem very nice at all. Yet you are still here...why?”

  “Apart from the fact that I can’t stop imagining you in my bed, your body flushed with pleasure after I’ve taken you for the third time that night?”

  Emily blushed at his honesty but she didn’t drop her eyes. Matt, realizing she wouldn’t be distracted, took his time answering her question. “I value loyalty and, generally, I would never mess with someone who is engaged.”

  “But?”

  “But you’re different—this entire situation is different and I can’t stay away from you. I want to but I can’t.” Matt shrugged. “You’re like an itch that just won’t go away.”

  Instead of being offended at being called an itch, Emily, thank God, just laughed. “Smooth, Velez.”

  Fair comment. He’d been more erudite at fourteen, for God’s sake!

  “I just feel like you need someone in your corner and I’m big and mean and not afraid to fight. Though it would be easier if I knew what monster we were fighting.” He waggled his eyebrows in an over-the-top gesture to spill.

  Emily’s lips twitched and his heart rolled over in his chest. “Nice try.”

  “Anyway, it’s far too beautiful a day to talk about your fake fiancé.”

  Instead of arguing, Emily just smiled. Her lack of argument piqued Matt’s interest. Maybe he was finally, finally getting through to her.

  * * *

  Emily’s tongue swirled around the head of her ice-cream cone and Matt stifled a groan. Thankful for the table hiding his massive erection, he tried to recall the periodic table of elements in his head but couldn’t remember much beyond carbon and nitrogen.

  And then all the blood in his head drained lower, much lower and he dropped ten IQ points when Emily rolled her sweet potato, maple and walnut ice cream, a specialty item on the restaurant’s menu, across her tongue.

  “Would you like a taste?” Emily asked, touching the corner of her mouth with the tip of her tongue. “It’s delicious.”

  Matt squirmed in his seat, uncomfortable. “That’s not what I’m desperate to taste,” Matt said, his voice hoarse. “And, just to be clear, the only way I’m prepared to sample that combination of flavors would be if it is smeared over your very naked, very beautiful body.”

  Emily almost dropped her ice cream, her eyes widening at his frank comment. “Uh... I don’t know what to say to that.”

  “Say yes—say that you’ll let me take you to bed and put me, hopefully, us out of our misery.”

  Emily didn’t respond as ice cream dripped off her fingers to land on the table. She didn’t notice and Matt didn’t care. Say yes, dammit.

  “Matt...” Emily whispered.

  Matt placed
his forearms on the table and leaned forward, entranced by her beautiful face and her bemused expression. But under the puzzlement was desire, hot and sexy, deep, dark, royal blue flashes of encouragement. She wanted him, and the thought made Matt’s chest swell.

  “Come home with me, Em. Let’s explore whatever is bubbling between us.”

  Instead of replying, Emily stood up abruptly and dropped her ice-cream cone onto the side plate on the table. She walked over to the railing and then headed for the rickety stairs leading to the beach. Matt sighed. Too much, too strong, Velez, just as always. He had no experience of treading gently; he was more of a bull in a china shop.

  Emily, this situation, needed gentle handling and he’d completely blown it. Matt opened his wallet and pulled out more than enough cash to settle their bill and to provide the waitress with a big tip. He picked up Emily’s bag and followed her down the stairs, realizing they ended underneath the pier. On the last step, he noticed Emily’s shoes and there she was, her back against a pole, watching the waves rolling over her toes and feet.

  Matt dropped her bag on top of her shoes and quickly stepped out of his flat-soled boots, whipped off his socks and tucked them into his size thirteens. He rolled up the cuffs to his pants and followed Emily’s footsteps to where she stood, then stopped in front of her. The beach, like the restaurant, was deserted and it felt like they were the only two people standing on this vast Atlantic Ocean coastline.

  When Emily finally lifted her eyes to look at him, she lifted her hands in the air and he saw traces of ice cream on her fingers. “I’m sticky.”

  Matt captured her hand and gently sucked her index finger into his mouth, tasting the sweetness of maple syrup and the earthiness of sweet potato on her skin. “That’s not too bad, actually.”

  Emily laughed. “Now you’re the one being stubborn. It was delicious, actually.”

  “Then why did you dump it and walk away?” Matt asked, placing his mouth in the center of her palm, not breaking eye contact.

  “Because I didn’t want to give those old men a heart attack when I did this.”