Assets (Balance Sheet #1)

by Shannon Dermott

  “Would you think me a slut if I slept with you right now?” He went stock still. I wasn’t planning on sleeping with him. But Matt was a player if there ever was one. And he was a friend. I wanted to get his unbiased opinion, but I hadn’t bet on his reaction.

  “Is that an invitation?” he inquired. His voice was low and nearly a whisper.

  “Matt,” I said, nudging him with my elbow. “I’m serious.”

  “It would be like a dream come true,” he said. Still his voice remained unamused and careful.

  “What?” I asked. I’d heard him. It was what I didn’t hear that had me confused. The one thing I was grateful for was that he spooned me, so he couldn’t see my shocked expression.

  “Bailey,” he said. Now I got more nervous. He never calls me by my name. It was always peanut. “I came to New York because of you.”

  “What?” I repeated with a hitch in my throat. I’d crushed on him forever, but he’d never paid me any attention other than being his sister’s best friend.

  “I think I’ve always liked you. Probably since the first day I saw you in Lizzy’s room.”

  “But you ignored me,” I retorted, trying to make sense of what he was saying even though it was clear.

  “Yeah, I was a bastard. I knew I wasn’t ready to settle down. I never wanted to hurt you and I knew if I asked you out then, I would. So I waited and sowed my wild oats.” He laughed at his joke.

  “You waited too long,” I said, not really thinking about my meaning until he responded.

  “Yeah,” he huffed. “That bastard sunk his hooks in you, and I tried to warn you but you didn’t listen.” He paused. “Sorry, I’m not trying to throw that in your face.”

  “But you left,” I said, because he’d transferred to the University of Chicago after sophomore year.

  “Yep, and you two were pretty serious. And I thought I’d lost my chance. And hadn’t I? You were going to marry him according to what Lizzy told me this summer. Then I got a call from her saying that you’d left him.”

  “But you didn’t come for Christmas,” I stated, still not wanting to believe him.

  He sighed. “You know things aren’t right with my dad. He still doesn’t like the idea that I don’t want to take over the family business. That I want to be a cop.”

  “You should have come home,” I said. And not for me, I thought. I knew firsthand that his parents were crushed from his retreat away from the family.

  “I know, but I’m here now.”

  “You don’t understand. I met someone.”

  His hold loosened. And I felt the loss. “So it’s too late.” A pause, before he added, “again.”

  It was my turn to sigh. “Not exactly. I don’t think I’ll be seeing him again. He came over and saw your clothes in my room and got the wrong impression.”

  “Fuck, peanut. I’m sorry.” Leave it to Matt to sound genuinely sorry even if it could have helped his cause.

  “No, it’s okay. If he can’t trust me, there really is no point. But that’s not why you’re too late. Well, okay, partly. But this experience just lets me know that I’ve moved too fast. Less than a month ago I was engaged.”

  “But you never loved him,” he said, sounding very sure of himself.

  Letting out a breath, I said, “Yes, you’re probably right. But it feels like I’m getting all this attention all of a sudden and I need things to slow down. Your mom already set me up on a blind date.”

  “What?” he asked. It was his turn to sound exasperated. “I thought she was on my side.”

  I didn’t think about his words; I just kept moving on. “And he’s called, but I’ve been avoiding him instead of just telling him I want to be friends. Then there’s the guy who just bulldozed into my life. I can’t seem to say no to him. And then there is my boss.”

  “Your boss?” he questioned.

  “Yes, apparently he’s interested. And all the while I can’t seem to take charge of my life. Scott was always making decisions for me. My parents are the same.”

  “But didn’t you say you went to Boston against their wishes?” It was nice talking to someone who understood me.

  “Again yes, but only in small ways. I think I stayed with Scott to justify the things we did. I wouldn’t be a whore in their eyes if I married the guy I slept with.”

  “You’re not a whore.”

  Taking a deep breath, I said, “I hope you’re right.”

  “I am. And what is the deal with your boss?”

  So I told him the story. Matt was just there for me. Our conversation flowed on about my problems without any judgment from him. He even came up with a plan. He was going to meet me for lunch. This would prove very interesting.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Engrossed in my work, I didn’t see Kevin hovering over my desk more than feel him there. “What’s up?” I asked, still looking at the trend I was finding on each bank statement. So far, I’d reviewed five accounts for the entire fiscal year on each. Small amounts of money were being withdrawn from each account, each month, the same day the bank took out bank fees. The amount was minimal. A few were only like a dollar, but it was consistent each month. And as far as I could tell, it was being recorded as a bank charge on the company’s books.

  “We are all headed to lunch,” Kevin said, taking my focus away from what I was working on.

  My eyes widened. I looked at my watch remembering I was meeting Matt. My phone chimed. The screen lit up and Matt’s beautiful face filled the screen reminding me of our plan. “Oh, man, I forgot. I’m meeting my boyfriend for lunch.”

  Kevin’s face clearly said he wasn’t pleased to hear those words, but he straightened his face quickly enough. “Why doesn’t he join us?”

  No way in hell, I thought to myself. “We have plans,” I said, covering a smile, thinking of that double meaning.

  “Okay, well, I guess we can still all head out.” Picking up my bag, I wondered if he was trying to confirm the validity of my statement or if he was just trying to meet my boyfriend. But all I knew was that this meeting might get me off the hook. I grabbed my shoulder bag and followed them out. After a quiet elevator ride down, we walked onto the street and there stood Matt.

  There was no denying how attractive he was. And there was no denying the badge he wore clipped to his jeans. I turned to look at Kevin as Matt made his way over to me. Kevin saw.

  “Hey beautiful,” Matt announced before taking me into his embrace and locking me in a kiss that would make any girl’s knees weak.

  I heard Anna snicker and gave them all a hasty goodbye before I headed off to lunch with Matt. But not before Kevin said, “Remember, you only have an hour. We have much work to do.”

  “What an asshole,” Matt chuckled, after they strode away.

  “What a kiss,” I said breathlessly.

  “I aim to please,” he said, looking rather pleased with himself.

  Ten minutes later we were sitting at a deli with two hoagies in front of us. “There is no way I can eat this whole thing,” I said. “And thanks, by the way.”

  Giving me his dimples, he said, “No problem. Anything for my peanut.”

  After I’d eaten a quarter of the huge sub, I looked at Matt and said, “Now tell me why you’re really here.”

  Swallowing his last bite, he put his half-eaten sandwich down. “It’s true, you know. I really came for you.” When I didn’t look convinced, he added, “When I left Boston two years ago it was the hardest thing for me to do. I had a mad thing for you. You were with the asshole. So when the opportunity of the special program for me to complete my criminology degree and finish my requirements with the police academy came along, I jumped on it.”

  “So, if I hadn’t been with the asshole,” I said smiling, using his word, “you would have pursued me instead of your career?” I asked, trying to get him to admit that I wasn’t a factor.

  “Let’s just say I wouldn’t have looked for a program out of state or I would have convinced you t
o come with me,” he said. And I had to give him credit for a pretty good answer. “You were taken and it was an opportunity I didn’t want to pass up. Even though dear old dad doesn’t want me in the line of fire, I knew if I stayed and pursued my goal to get into the FBI, he would have used his influence to make sure I got in. It was important to me to make it on my own. And when I found out that you’d finally left the asshole-.” He winked at me. “I applied with the bureau. I have an interview with them tomorrow.”

  “Oh, congrats,” I said, leaning over the table to give him a quick hug before returning to my seat.

  Smiling, he said, “You still were a major factor and it seems like I’ll be saying your name along with the phrase ‘the one that got away’ for the rest of my life.”

  Reaching out, I squeezed his hand. “Matt, I’ve had a crush on you forever.” His eyes sparkled. “But your timing sucks.”

  Laughing, he said, “Tell me about it. Just say this. If it doesn’t work with this-,”

  “Kalen,” I offered.

  “Kalen, you’ll give me a shot before anyone else.”

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” I said, smiling at him.

  Although I ended up throwing most of my uneaten lunch away, I was stuffed. That was New York for you. The Big Apple and all, they served big portions when not in those stuffy fancy restaurants.

  Back in front of the client’s office building, Matt took me in a hug. “Just let me kiss you one last time.”

  It wasn’t like I was anyone’s girlfriend. I nodded. And again, he gave me a toe curling kiss. I had a moment of regret when he walked away. He’d told me that he would be leaving on Friday to head back to Chicago. There was no reason for him to stay longer if he wasn’t going to pursue me. I urged him to go see his parents, but he wouldn’t commit to that. I wished him well and let him go, because right then, my mind was still very much attached to a tall Scotsman who made me want to pull my hair out.

  My thoughts were occupied when I stepped back onto the floor where we had been stationed. When I walked into the conference room, I realized too late I was alone with Kevin. He closed the door behind me. A chill ran down my spine and I was grateful for plate glass windows that made up one wall of the room, giving everybody who walked past a clear view of us inside. He couldn’t possibly try anything because we were on display.

  Turning to me, he said, “So you have a boyfriend.” I nodded, unsure where he was going with this. “And here I thought I got the vibe from you that you were interested in me.”

  Open jawed, I said, “I’m not sure where you got that impression as I’m engaged.” Sometimes you don’t think. And this is one of those times. Here was another lie, but it came out of my mouth as a defensive reaction.

  “I guess that’s that, then.”

  “I suppose so,” I said. Feeling the awkwardness creep in, I decided to talk about my findings. “Kevin, there is something I’ve wanted to talk to you about.” And so I explained the wire transfers that had been coded as bank fees. He listened as I explained the odd occurrence of immaterial amounts being withdrawn on a monthly basis and how they were timed to coincide with bank fees.

  When I was finished, he did look thoughtful. “Well, like you said, it’s immaterial. And you really shouldn’t be putting so much time into it.”

  “But,” I started.

  Holding up a hand, cutting me off, he said, “Document it and move on. You have another hundred accounts to review.”

  And with that Jim and Anna walked in, ending our conversation. But I saw in Anna’s eyes that she felt the tension. Sitting in front of my laptop, I got back to work. However, something in me wouldn’t let this go. I would look into it even if I did it on my own time.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Finding me in the restroom before we left for the day, Anna said, “I guess you shut him down today.” She looked sympathetic. And I was beginning to wonder if the only truths I had would come out in the ladies’ room. With the conference room the only other space we had, I guess I would have to make do with the restroom. It was the only place I could talk to her without Kevin overhearing.

  “I guess so. But the worst of it was he suggested I was coming onto him.” I hadn’t realized how pissed off I was until the words came out of my mouth.

  She barked out a laugh. “That’s crazy. But why did I have to hear that you’re engaged from him?”

  Scrubbing my face, I thought about it. Anna and I weren’t friends, yet. But I liked her. And I didn’t want to lie to her. “That’s because I’m not.”

  Nodding her head, she said, “Quick thinking.”

  On my way home, I hoped I hadn’t made a mistake and Anna would keep my confidence. She seemed like a trustworthy girl. We hadn’t talked much, but that was the nature of the job. It was spent in solitude even in the company of others as we verified mounds of information in order to complete our audit.

  When I opened the door at home, I was happy to see Lizzy curled up on the sofa with a mug of coffee in her hand. The scent was unmistakable. “Have you got any more of that?” I asked.

  “You know where to find it,” she said, giving me her best smile. But I could tell she wanted to talk to me as much as I wanted to talk to her.

  Coat draped over a chair, messenger bag on the floor, I made a cup of steaming coffee and sat on Lizzy’s impossibly white sofa praying I wouldn’t spill a drop.

  “So,” she said on an exhale of breath.

  “So,” I said back. Somehow I knew this was about her brother and I wondered if she was mad at me for shutting him down.

  “You and Matty talked,” she stated.

  Nodding, I confirmed, “Yes, and I guess you knew all along.”

  “Of course, I can’t believe you didn’t.”

  “Why not, I had a crush on him for like ever,” I said.

  “Yeah, I knew that too.”

  When she went quiet, I finally said, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  Waving an absent hand, she said, “Who wants to talk to another girl about how hot their brother is? I had enough of that in high school. And I figured the two of you would get together.”

  “But Scott came along,” I added, continuing her thought.

  “And, when I saw Scott, I thought for sure Matt would see how you picked a guy that looked almost like him.” She waited a beat before speaking to see if I’d deny it. Looking back, it was probably true. It wasn’t that I’d sought a replacement Matt since he’d preferred to sow his oats, his words. But when Scott came along, I might have looked for Matt in him. Matt may have been a quote unquote ladies man, but he wasn’t a bad guy. Girls didn’t walk away hating him. “And you like stayed with Scott even when I could tell you weren’t into him.”

  Confession time. Lizzy was my very best friend. It was time I got this off my chest. “You know about how conservative my family is?” I asked. She nodded. She didn’t know all of it, but enough. There were just some things that had to remain secret. “My parents wouldn’t have approved when I started a sexual relationship with Scott.”

  The first time had been a mistake. I was drunk and needy and Scott was there. “You had sex Bails,” she said in mock horror.

  “I knew they would be ashamed of my behavior. Staying with him meant I wasn’t a slut. You know.” I wasn’t sure she’d understand, but I tried my best to explain.

  “By dating him, you validated your decision to take the relationship further?” she asked, but it was more of a statement.

  “Exactly,” I answered.

  “Scott wasn’t your first though.”

  This she knew. “No, Turner was.”

  “He grew up with you, right?”

  Sipping my coffee, which was starting to go lukewarm, I said, “Yes. And if our parents had found out, we would have been married on the spot.”

  “You loved him, right?” she asked, drinking from her own mug.

  “Yes, I think I’ll always love him in ways.”

  “So what hap
pened?”

  This was a part of the story Lizzy had never pushed before. We were too busy talking about her failed relationships and my doomed one. “We were supposed to get married,” I began.

  “Wait, I thought you said they didn’t know about the sex.”

  “They didn’t. We were betrothed, I guess, for lack of a better word. And my mom told me to pursue my dream and go to college and not get stuck like her. Turner wasn’t willing to leave. His place was there. So I left.”

  “Wow, where is he now?”

  Her question seemed redundant. But I guess in her mind lots of time had passed and possibly things had changed. “He’s still there. The last time I visited home, he was dating someone else.”

  “That was almost two years ago,” she exclaimed.

  “Yes, and it hurt. I couldn’t go back after that.”

  “I knew you didn’t love Scott. Being with him hadn’t changed your feelings.”

  I shook my head. “I couldn’t go there and see Turner with someone else.”

  “Well, I guess I don’t blame you. If I ever saw Mason again, I’m not sure what I’d do.”

  Mason was Lizzy’s first love and first everything. “They stick with you.”

  “So what about this new guy?” She set her mug down on the coffee table and folded herself in the chair, looking much like a pretzel.

  “How do you do that?” I asked, getting off topic, but I couldn’t help myself.

  “Lots of yoga and don’t dodge. What’s the guy’s name?” Her grey eyes looked wise but kind. And it was a relief to talk about this. With Matt, it had been nice, but with a best friend it would be great to get this off my chest.

  “Kalen,” I said with a smile and a grimace. In all likelihood, I would never see him again.

  “Kalen what?” she asked.

  “Kalen Brinner,” I answered.

  She looked thoughtful, like she was trying to put something together in her head. “He reminded me of someone, but that name doesn’t ring a bell. Go on, tell me what happened because I can see in your eyes, something did.”