by Nicole Smith
“Hi …nice chair dad?” I said questioningly.
“It’s for you,” he said, looking smug.
“Oh, okay, I guess I could use it. Thank you?” I said. Still not getting the joke, since I could tell he tried not to laugh. That’s when I heard voices coming from the living room. The front door that we never used was wide open.
“Go see,” he ordered, gesturing to the living room. I quickly ran around the staircase to the living room. I stopped and gasped. I could not believe my eyes. I closed them, rubbed them, blinked and it was still there.
“Is it for me?” I asked him. Not wanting to get my hopes up, just in case we have to give it back in a week or something.
“Of course it’s for you. I don’t know anyone else in this house that can play the piano as nicely as you do,” he said smiling.
“But dad, you have never heard me play. I only play at Emily’s house,” I told him.
“Well it’s about time I heard you play then,” he said smiling again. I ran to him and hugged him as hard as I could. Hugging my father was a very rare occurrence and usually felt uncomfortable, because it’d usually been done out of fear or obligation, but this time I shook with happiness. Tears spilled down my cheeks. I wiped them on his red and black flannel shirt and laughed.
He brought me over to the piano and pulled up the cover. That’s when my father slid the dark mahogany stool with the claws holding marbles for feet behind me. He spun the seat up higher so I could comfortably reach the keys, then I began to play. I played every song I knew, which wasn’t very many. My neighbor, Emily only gave me lessons when she wasn’t needed in the barn and she always seemed to be needed. I ran over to Emily’s house later that day to grab my music books and to tell her the great news. She was so happy for me.
“You’ll be able to practice a lot now. I’m so glad, because you have a natural talent for music, don’t ever forget that,” she said. In a strange way it almost sounded ominous, like she needed me to know it. I smiled and brushed it off. As I headed for the door she gave me a paper towel full of oatmeal cookies and asked if I was hungry. I could stay for dinner if I wanted, she told me. “No thanks, I want to go home today. My piano is waiting for me,” I said as I waved goodbye.
As I sat there in the old empty house, I played all the songs I could remember. My fingers ached when I stopped. Not only did I remember receiving the piano, I remembered the day it had been taken away from me. It happened to be the same day I had to say good-bye to Cheveyo. We were moving again. I said my goodbyes to Jim and Emily earlier in the day. I still remember her telling me to always believe in myself, that things really do happen for a reason that the next place I move to will offer me new possibilities. Emily told me my future held many great adventures waiting for me. Of course I didn’t believe anything she said. I cried silently as I listened to her tell me such nice things for the last time. I hugged her hard and left without looking back.
Once I finished packing everything in my room, which didn’t take long, I turned to look for Cheveyo. He wasn’t there, which upset me that day. I called him but he didn’t answer. I had started to panic, afraid that I wouldn’t have the chance to see him again. I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. I ran around the house, inside and out calling his name. I heard my mother shout, “We only have a few more minutes. Everything is almost loaded in the van.”
My heart started to race as I ran outside, towards the trail between the fields. That’s when I felt the warm breeze that always accompanied him, surround me. I stopped abruptly.
“Cheveyo, please talk to me, I have to go now. Please Cheveyo,” I cried. He appeared before me with a woman beside him. I remember her looking so beautiful. She smiled at me. Her long black hair blew in the breeze as she walked slowly towards me. She knelt in front of me and grabbed my hands, holding them in hers.
“Be strong little one. Do not falter. Cheveyo will always be watching over you, but now he must come with me and you must travel on a new journey,” she said as she released me.
“I will see you again one day my friend,” Cheveyo said as he hugged me then walked back into the field with his mother.
“Good bye Cheveyo,” I whispered as I slowly turned back towards the empty house and the moving van that would take me away. I ran inside to grab my book and to have one last look around, as I always did, to say goodbye to the house that I had called home for a while. When I reached the living room I screamed.
“NO, NO, NO!” I shrieked, the pain in my throat interfering with my breathing. My parents rushed in to the room behind me.
“What’s wrong? Stop screaming?” my father shouted, shaking my shoulders.
“Why isn’t the piano in the van?” I asked as I started to feel my hands quiver and my face redden. My parents looked at each other then back to me.
“I’m sorry Natalie, but it doesn’t fit in the van,” my father said blankly as he stepped back from me. There was no point in trying to fight him on it.
”No, mom please, you can take my bed out, I’ll sleep on the floor,” I begged.
“Let’s go now, into the van, come on,” my mother ordered, not wanting to cause a bigger fuss, she was already exhausted.
“I’ll try and come back for it okay,” my father said meekly. I knew he probably wouldn’t, but at least it was something. I grabbed the stool with the claws holding the marbles and walked out.
As I shook off that upsetting memory, I felt someone’s presence behind me. How silly of me to think I would be alone. I am never alone. I turned slowly, scanning the empty room. The lights were dim, shadows were everywhere. I stood up and walked around, hoping to find who has joined me here.
“Hello,” I said, not sure to whom. I didn’t feel like all my senses were available to me. I noticed a shadow moving towards the kitchen so I walked towards it. The shadow faded before my eyes and as it did all the lights in the house came on. I heard the voices of my family. I looked down and realized I’d shrunk down to the size of the little girl I used to be when I lived here. I tensed in fear now.
“Am I dreaming?” I whispered as my hands shook.
“Leave me alone,” my mother shouted at my father. He was drunk again. I could tell by the look on his face. His mouth didn’t close and he drooled a bit. His eyes were partly closed and it looked like he strained to see her.
“Natalie, sit on that couch,” he demanded when he saw me. I quickly ran to the couch and sat beside my brothers who were already there. I held Luke close to me. He was crying silently.
“Just let the children go upstairs. We can talk about this without them here. Please,” my mother begged.
“Anne, you will not say another word to me. Do you understand? I want these children to know who is in charge around here and what happens if they disobey. You should not have disobeyed me woman,” my father was slurring his words as he spoke. My mother smiled at us but I could see the fear in her eyes. She knew how this was going to end and yet she seemed more concerned about us than herself. I tried to smile back when John jumped up and suddenly started throwing punches at my father. He knew it was a useless attempt though. My father felt no pain under his current influence. He laughed as he held John back. He picked him up and threw him back onto the couch.
“Leave him alone!” I screamed at him, I felt so useless too.
“Shut up or you’ll be next,” he threatened me. John didn’t move from where he fell.
My mother was crying as she tried to get out of his grip. He reached his arm up and formed a fist. Within seconds my mother laid on the floor motionless. My father picked her up and carried her into their room and shut the door. John finally stood up and told us to go upstairs. I carried Luke up to my room and we just curled up and tried to sleep.
I must have dosed off because I awoke alone in the field again. Thankfully I’m back to my normal size again, I thought. It is so dark now. I can barely see more than a few feet in front of me. I began to walk slowly when I heard my father’s voice s
houting at me, in the distance. I didn’t understand how he could possibly know I’m here. As I walked closer I saw an image of myself at age ten. I stood by the back door with my dog, my beautiful white Muffy, sitting beside me. My long brown hair had been tied back with a red ribbon. I held tears in my eyes but I wasn’t crying. My father sat in a chair on the porch.
“Natalie, you will never succeed in life with that quivering lip of yours. You have to get tougher, because if you don’t all you’ll end up being is a single mother waitressing in a bar. I’m just telling you this for your own good. Your filthy dirty too. Get out of my sight.” I turned, not letting my tears fall until I was safely out of his view. I tried to walk over to my younger self but she disappeared and I was left standing alone, with my own tears rolling down my cheeks.
“Hayden,” I called. “I need you.” I walked back towards the field, hoping to find a way out of this nightmare. How did I get here? Maybe I hit my head when I was running. Maybe I am passed out somewhere in the woods, unconscious. Where did Beth go? Maybe she will come back for me. As I walked I tried to rationalize what is going on. I’m just having horrible, repressed memories rise to the surface. There must be a reason for all this. I’m sure I will wake up soon. I’ll just stay away from that house and I should be okay.
The wind felt warm as it swirled around me. I closed my eyes and lifted my face towards the blue sky. I smiled with the sheer joy the breeze gave me. It reminded me of being a little girl, when my spirit friends would come and visit me.
I twirled in circles and laughed as I fell to the ground. I laid there with my hands on my chest, feeling my heart beat. I slowly opened my eyes and as I tried to scream, no sound left my lips and then the sky went black.
When I awoke again I wasn’t in the field anymore and someone else is here with me. I could hear their breathing and I could feel their warmth. I wanted to speak but fear took my voice from me. I didn’t know who was here or why. I slowly sat up and looked towards the door. Light seeped through the sides and underneath. I thought of running for it. I didn’t know if the door would be locked or not. ‘What did I have to lose?’ I thought as I quickly glanced around the room. I still couldn’t tell if anyone is here with me or not. Whoever it was must be hiding in the shadows. Just as I considered making a run for the door I heard someone sigh.
“Don’t even think of leaving here Natalie. You don’t control anything here. You should have realized that by now, the sooner the better actually. You have to learn to accept that and maybe you will eventually find your way back home. I am here to help you. I hope you can believe me. I can’t stay long. I am not welcome by your current captor. I will try and find you from time to time. I know you are feeling very much alone. I will offer my assistance, as much as I can. I wish I could do more. For now, just try and accept what is shown to you as the past and only that. Remember who you are and who you have become. Remember that you are loved.” The voice in the shadows sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place it.
“Please don’t go. I’m scared. I don’t understand where I am or why I’m here. I need to get out of here. I need to wake up. Please don’t leave me!” I begged, tears streaming down my face. I breathed in and realized I’m alone again. Whoever he was, he must be a friend of mine but now he is gone.
I tried to remember what happened after I woke in the field. I think I experienced a moment of happiness there. I remember running and laughing. Why was I so happy there? Then what happened? I remember screaming. I just couldn’t remember.
The door in front of me opened. I walked slowly down the long hallway. The doors, walls and ceiling were painted white. The small rooms all displayed bars on the doors. It looked like an insane asylum. I ran down the hall searching for an exit. I could hear feet behind me. I glanced back and saw two large men dressed in white chasing me. A nurse followed them. I ran as fast as I could but somehow they caught me just as I reached the doors to the outside. They grabbed a hold of my shoulders and flung me back. My feet flew out from underneath me. The nurse injected something into my arm. I screamed as I tried to get free of them. My head started to spin as they carried me back to my room. I was placed on the bed and my eyes shut instantly.
I awoke alone this time. I stood up and looked through the window in the door. I jumped back when I saw a man in a suit coming towards the door.
“Hello Natalie. I am Dr. Michaels. How are you feeling today? A little more co-operative I hope,” he stared into my eyes as he spoke.
“I don’t belong here. I just want to go home,” I told him.
“Where is your home Natalie? Do you know where you live?” he asked. Is this a trick question? Of course I know where I live, my home is with Hayden.
“I live with Hayden in his apartment, in the city. Why?” I was angered by his question.
“That is what you told me last time. It is good that your stories haven’t changed. Do you know how old you are Natalie?” Really, how dumb does he think I am?
“Of course I do. I’m eighteen,” I replied as I looked away from him. I tried to remain calm.
“Really? Are you sure you’re eighteen now? Well I hate to tell you this again but according to your birth certificate you are sixteen. You live with your parents and your brothers. No one in your family seems to know who this Hayden character is either. Is Hayden a ghost Natalie? I understand you have many friends that not everyone can see. Is Hayden one of them? Like Adam?” I stared back at him, stunned to hear him say those names.
“How do you know who Adam is? Why am I here? Why won’t you let me leave? I won’t hurt anyone. I just want to go home,” I cried.
“I will come back to see you again tomorrow Natalie,” he said this as he turned and walked away.
“Why am I here Dr. Michaels? Why? Help me please, I need some answers,” I shouted.
“Natalie, you tried to kill yourself. I am sorry but until you can grasp where you are and what happened it is best for you to be here.” He turned again and vanished from view.
“No!” I screamed. After I tried to kill myself I was released into Hayden’s care. I am eighteen not sixteen. I don’t understand any of this. I shouldn’t be here. This is all wrong. I looked out the window. Nothing looked familiar. I have never been here before. Not at sixteen, not ever. This is not my past. I walked over to the door and watched two patients talking across the hall.
“Every time they attempt to let her out she tries to escape. She actually runs into the doors until she knocks herself out or her hands bleed and she screams hysterically. They have no choice but to leave her locked up,” they were looking in to my room as the girl told the other one this insane story about me.
“And they think I’m crazy,” the other girl replied. They both laughed and looked in at me again. They laughed even more when they saw me looking out. I just glared at them and walked back to my bed. I put my head on my pillow. I tried to remember the voice that spoke to me earlier.
“What did he say?” I asked myself. He said something about accepting my fate. I needed to remember who I am now. I am Natalie. I am a seeker of ghosts. I have inner strength. I have the light in me. I don’t belong here.
“I don’t belong here,” I repeated this to myself like a mantra. I saw the doctor pass by the door several times and each time he did I mouthed the words.
‘I don’t belong here!’
I closed my eyes and fell into a deep, dark sleep.
CHAPTER SIX
Carlos returned to find Hayden in the exact same spot and position as he left him in hours before. He just prayed she still breathed.
“Hayden, place her down on these blankets and help me with the tent,” Carlos ordered. Hayden helped Carlos silently. Once the tent was up Carlos made a bed for her inside. Hayden carried her in and covered her. He listened for her breath, which he continued to do every few minutes.
“I called Clive and told him the situation. He is shocked just like we are. He is calling on anyone that may be familiar with t
his. I told him where we were and that we didn’t want to move her yet. That boy was obviously possessed temporarily by some one that can see Natalie and reach us too. I wish I knew how to conger him back,” Carlos was trying to get Hayden to talk with him but all he would do is nod. He seemed almost comatose himself.
“I brought some food. Hayden you have to keep your strength up. I have no idea what condition Natalie will be in when she returns to her body. You have to be ready to act,” Carlos ordered. This last statement woke Hayden.
“Yes. I will eat, thank you,” he simply stated.
~~~
The rain poured down on my face as I looked up at the big blue sky. Everything around me glistened as the burning sun continued to shine through the rain. All of it seemed so surreal, as though I’m in a dream. I loved summer thunder storms when I was a child. I loved how the sidewalks steamed and the grass appeared greener.
Moments later my bliss is interrupted by people shouting. I wished they would just go away. I wanted to push them aside. I didn’t want them to be a part of this moment. I was calm in this moment. Why won’t they just go away? I closed my eyes and everything did fall away or rather I fell into a different place. When I opened my eyes again the voices were gone. I looked around, quickly realizing that I’m back in the woods again. This is just as nice as the storm, I thought as I looked around, surrounded by new spring wildflowers. The delicate white blooms made me smile. I stood and immediately felt the familiar breeze surrounding me, the breeze that let me know that I am not alone.
“We are never alone,” I whispered as I looked around, trying to see who is here with me now. A part of me wished Cheveyo or Anton would appear. Even Adam would be welcome now or even Beth. Why did she leave me? Just as I took a step towards a path that led deeper into the woods I heard a voice. This voice didn’t sound familiar to me at all.
