Trapped

by Nicole Smith

  ~~~

  “Did you hear that?” Hayden asked as he stood over her. Carlos jumped over and stood beside him, looking down at her.

  “What did she say? I could barely hear her,” he asked as he sank down closer to her.

  “She called me, she called my name,” Hayden exclaimed happily as he leaned over her, listening for a breath. He sighed with relief when he heard it.

  “Natalie! I am here Natalie, right beside you. Where are you?” he shouted. There was no reaction. No reply.

  “It has to be a good sign,” Carlos said, he had to believe that.

  ~~~

  “Mother,” I cried as I sank down on to the floor. “Mother, I need you now,” I sobbed uncontrollably. I jumped as a thin familiar hand squeezed my shoulder.

  “It’s okay Natalie. Come on now, where’s my big strong girl?” I wrapped my arms around her, so relieved to have her here with me.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” she said as she brushed the hair from my face and wiped my tears with her sleeve.

  “Listen Natalie, I can’t stay long. Anton helped me but he warned that my time here will be short. I need you to be strong. I need you to take care of Luke until he joins me, but first you need to find your way back to where you belong. You will have to find a gateway of some sort that you can enter. This gateway will be somewhere that brings you peace, feelings of love and happiness. You have to leave all this sorrow behind you Natalie. You can’t sink into it anymore. I am at peace Natalie. You have to find it too. I’m being pulled back Natalie. I love you,” she told me as her smile faded in front of me.

  “I love you too,” I smiled in spite of my tears.

  I sat alone in the empty room for some time. Trying to think of where I should go. Where did I feel peace and happiness? Where did I feel love?

  “Of course!” I shouted as I jumped up, knowing Luke had returned.

  “I’m going back Luke. Please find me when I return. I want to help you,” I told him before I turned and ran from the house. As soon as I started running I imagined my beautiful bedroom with the big windows looking out on to the ocean. I traced my steps into the living room with even larger windows. I pictured in my mind the sunrises across the water. I walked out of the house and towards the ocean. I sat down on the sand and ran my fingers through my hair. This is my happy place, or so I thought. I couldn’t help but wonder when I would see Hayden again. I smiled and closed my eyes.

  “Soon my love,” I whispered.

  ~~~

  “She’s talking again!” Carlos shouted. Hayden had just stepped out of the tent to stretch and grab some much needed food. When he heard Carlos shout he flew back into the tent and crouched down.

  “What did she say?” Hayden asked excitedly.

  “I’m not sure exactly. It was a whisper, but I think she said ‘soon’,” Carlos had a hopeful look on his face.

  “Natalie. Can you hear me? Are you coming home baby? I miss you.” Hayden kissed her cheek.

  ~~~

  I waited there on the sand for what seemed like hours. I began to feel impatient. “I’m here. What more do you want?” I shouted, to no one in-particular. No one is here anyway. I didn’t know where else to go. I stood up and dusted the sand off my legs. As I looked around at the crashing waves I watched the sun setting. A fear ran through me. What if I never find my way back to Hayden? I began to walk along the beach, dipping my feet in the water as I walked. Nothing happened. I started to run until I couldn’t take another step. I collapsed onto the beach. I laid there gasping for breath. Time is passing me by. I have no idea how long I have been here, in this world or on this beach. I rolled over and looked up at the night sky.

  “Oh no! What’s happening?” I shouted, feeling a heavy dreadful feeling wash over me. How could this possibly be? I had run so far from this place before I fell. I shouldn’t be lying here on the beach in front of my house. This is not possible. If I was any closer to getting back to Hayden this would not be happening. I stood up and tried to regain my composure as I walked onto my deck and in to my house. I looked in each room, hoping Hayden would appear. I stood in front of the large living room widows and cried. None of this mattered if I’m to be alone.

  ~~~

  “I think she needs are help,” Carlos stated more to himself than to Hayden.

  “It just feels like she’s trying to get back and she’s close, which is why we can hear her at times. I’m just not sure what we can do. I’m going to call Clive.” Carlos left the tent.

  “Natalie, you have to focus. You have to be strong. Don’t cry darling. You’re coming home soon,” Hayden whispered.

  ~~~

  As I stood there, alone in my beautiful house I dreamed I could hear Hayden telling me I am coming home. I only wished it to be true. I tried to hold back the tears as they rolled down my cheeks. I couldn’t believe I still had any tears left.

  “I’m sorry Hayden but I don’t know what to do or where to go,” I whispered. I didn’t realize at the time that he heard me. I fell asleep on the couch.

  ~~~

  “Clive, she doesn’t know what to do or where to go now, but I think we can communicate with her,” Hayden said as he tried to put his thoughts together, waiting patiently to hear what Clive had to say.

  “I think we have to find a spirit that can bounce between both realms. It has to be a newly deceased spirit, I believe they have the ability to travel on a whim, more than the older ones do,” Clive told Hayden. He closed his eyes and realized there’s only one sprit that can help her.

  “Luke! We have to find Luke,” Hayden said as he went back in to the tent. Carlos joined him a little while later.

  “Well, Clive has put the word out that we need Luke. Hayden, how are we going to find him?” Carlos seemed concerned that it would be difficult.

  “I need you to stay here with Natalie this time, I’m going into town.” Hayden kissed her gently then left.

  Carlos sank down beside her. He brushed the hair from her face and reached for her hand, kissing her fingers as he tried to hold back his tears. It’s the first time he’s a chance to be alone with her. He has wanted to feel her breath on his face. He wished so much that he could take back their last meeting. He only wanted to take her out like she asked, why did he agree to risk her life?

  “I owe you a week of hunting now my darling, I promise we will have fun again,” he whispered as he lay beside her lifeless body.

  Hayden made it into town quickly. He ran faster than he’s ever run before. He stormed into the abandoned apartment downtown where Millicent and Joshua dwelled.

  “I need your help!” he shouted, knowing they would respond.

  “We’ll do whatever we can, you know that,” Joshua stated calmly. Millicent nodded, waiting for Hayden to continue.

  “I need you to find Luke, Natalie’s brother,” he ordered them.

  “Why do you need him?” Millicent blurted out.

  “He is the only one that I know of that might be capable of going in between this realm and the realm that Natalie is trapped in. Can either of you do that?” he asked, stressing his point.

  “If we could then we would have done it already,” Joshua answered.

  “What makes you think Luke can do it, or furthermore, that he will do it? Isn’t he partly to blame for Natalie being where she is now?” He wasn’t feeling as optimistic as Hayden.

  “He can and he will,” Hayden told them as he stormed out of the apartment.

  “You should try the house he died in,” Millicent shouted before he reached the stairwell.

  As Hayden approached the house he sensed a number of spirits surrounding it but they still would not go inside. The door was locked but that wouldn’t stop him from entering. He shouldered the door breaking the lock and entered quickly. He slammed it shut and searched the house with as much speed as he could for the room he felt possessed the most by Luke.

  He sat down on Luke’s chair in his bedroom and listened for him. He walked ba
ck down to the living room and decided to wait there instead. He knew he would show up eventually.

  Luke couldn’t stay away when he realized someone walked in to his house, someone actually has been in his bedroom! He was furious. This is not allowed, he thought. No one would ever live in that house again, as long as he is in control of it.

  “Get out of here!” he shouted as he threw a vase across the room, hitting the fireplace. Luke picked up every picture on the wall and put them on the mantel piece. He opened the kitchen cupboards and in a completely cliché move, he emptied everything out of them and threw it around the room. Hayden wasn’t surprised by his antics.

  “Luke? What are you doing? Really? Do you seriously think this would have scared Natalie? Or for that matter, do you think this will scare me?” Hayden mocked. He was amused by Luke’s attempts to frighten him.

  “No, this would not scare you. I actually didn’t realize it was you. Natalie is in so much trouble. She is stuck in between your world and mine. She wants to return home, she really does, but she can’t find her happy place! It sounds stupid but she was told to find a place that makes her happy and brings her peace. She thought it would be at the beach but apparently she was way off. I think I should go back and tell her where to go but I’m still not sure exactly what to tell her?” he stammered, knowing he needed Hayden’s help but unsure as to how to ask for it.

  “Luke, stop please! Let me help you. Let me help Natalie,” he said calmly as he rested near the fireplace. Within a few seconds the living room was brightened with a warm fire, a light warm orange glow filled the room.

  “Very nice Luke, but please, just go back and be with her, keep her safe. We have to continue to stay in touch with her, she shouldn’t be alone,” he sighed.

  “Of course I will help her Hayden, she is my sister, but listen to me you have to keep your ghost hunting friends away from me!” Luke vanished from view than reappeared on the other side of the fireplace, glaring at Hayden.

  “Ok Luke. I will keep the Seekers away from you. Just please help Natalie,” Hayden was losing his patience. He would find a way with or without him if he had too.

  “If you know her so well than where should she go? She’s at the beach house now and she doesn’t know where to go next,” Luke didn’t know what to tell Natalie when he returned to her. Hayden thought the beach house would be the logical place, wasn’t that the place she felt most at peace?

  “Let’s get back to Natalie at the tent. I’ll talk to Clive, maybe he might know what her next move should be. I’ll meet you there,” Luke left and the fire went out.

  As Hayden raced back he ran Luke’s words through his head. He kept trying to think of where to send her. It had to be a place where she is given a feeling of peace and happiness. Hayden really thought the beach house would have been perfect. There must be a missing piece to this puzzle.

  Luke stood outside the tent, waiting patiently for Hayden to arrive. He had a grin on his face as Hayden approached him. He was reminded in that moment just how young Luke had been when he died.

  “What took you so long, bro?” Luke joked.

  “Stuck in traffic,” Hayden grinned.

  “Hayden?” Carlos stepped out of the tent.

  “Hey, how is she?” Hayden asked.

  “The same, nothing new, hi Luke,” Carlos looked skeptically at him. He still wasn’t sure if he could trust him to help, knowing the pain and confusion he must still be harboring.

  “Carlos,” Luke nodded at him. He could sense Carlos’ suspicions of him.

  “I wanted to thank you for being there with Natalie and John after my mother’s death. I know she’s strong but it was reassuring to know that someone was there to help her, you know with all the funeral stuff, so thanks,” Luke told him before vanishing. He reappeared in the tent. He looked down at his older sister, laying there lifeless. The thought of losing her too made him feel something he hadn’t felt since he saw his mother laying on the floor. He knelt beside her. If he could have cried he would have. He could still feel the pain in his chest and the lump in his throat as though he still lived.

  “I’m going back to her Hayden. Can you tell me what I’m supposed to tell her now?” Luke spoke quietly as he continued to stare at the body in front of him. Her eyes were closed like she was sleeping, but he wasn’t fooled. He knew that it would only be a matter of time till her heart failed, till she wouldn’t ever be able to find her way back. He could feel a sense of urgency, he just wished Hayden and Carlos would feel the same thing, instead of just sitting here waiting for her to somehow come back. He tried to control his anger. He found it strange that even in death he still felt such frustration. ‘,’I suppose that’s a part that will linger until I move on to the next world,’ he thought.

  “Clive thinks maybe it might not be an actual place but maybe a time,” Carlos replied, knowing now that Luke needed her to live as much as he did.

  “He’s gone,” Hayden shouted as he looked around the tent frantically. He’s his only link to Natalie.

  ~~~

  “Natalie! Where are you?” Luke shouted as he raced through the beach house. As soon as he slowed his frenzied pace he realized she has left this place. He had to quiet his emotions and wait for her trail of sorrow to appear before him. He closed his eyes and waited for the path to reveal itself. When he opened his eyes and the revelation of where she went surrounded him, he couldn’t understand it. He is shocked by her choice.

  He couldn’t believe she would have chosen to come here. He looked through the rooms of the house he had had so many terrible nightmares in. The living room he had killed the bat in, the bathroom Natalie had almost died in. The front door John had walked out of, leaving us all behind. He hadn’t realized until now just how much that had hurt him. The loss of his older brother hurt worse than all the times his father had walked out on him. Luke understood eventually that she wasn’t actually in the house. He appeared beside her, watching the fast running river.

  “I’ve been waiting for Adam. I don’t think he is coming though,” I tried not to laugh at my own pathetic last grasp at finding my happiness and my way home. It is strange but I felt like that sad, despondent little girl again that wanted so badly to take her last swim in a freezing river on Christmas morning. I should have known that this is definitely not my place of peace or love.

  “Just thought I would try,” I shrugged as I reached for Luke’s outstretched hand.

  “Natalie, have you thought that maybe it’s not an actual place but something else. Maybe it’s a time that you felt happiest. I can’t imagine it could have been during our childhood though,” Luke explained. He needed her to come back soon, he wouldn’t lose her too. He didn’t want to think of what would happen to her if her body died while she was here. Would she stay in this strange realm or would she be taken to the other side immediately? He hoped the later would be true because being trapped in all these memories seemed like hell to him.

  “Do you think it might be just a fleeting moment of happiness or an extended period of time when I felt happy? Maybe like the time we decorated the Christmas tree with popcorn?” I laughed, trying to make Luke smile. The odd look on his face frightened me.

  “Possibly,” he finally smiled. We stood side by side as we looked through the window at three kids dressed in sweaters, hats and mitts inside their house, decorating a Christmas tree with popcorn on a string. We were laughing. I didn’t remember that. I laughed out loud and glanced at Luke. He looked surprised too, but he smiled, which I so desperately needed to see.

  ~~~

  A strange gargled sound emerged from her mouth. Hayden glanced at Carlos then knelt over her quickly.

  “Natalie, are you ok?” Hayden asked her, holding her head up.

  “I think she tried to laugh,” Carlos smiled. Hayden shook his head and listened to her faint breathing.

  “I would love to believe that’s true,” Hayden replied as he reached for her cold hand and held it gently.
/>   ~~~

  “Luke, I think your right. I have to find times that have made me happy. It’s strange but I think I heard Hayden again. Thank you for staying with me. Try to keep up will you!” I shouted as I ran off to the next happy moment that popped into my head.

  “You are picking the worst places,” Luke complained. We were back at the white farm house that gave us so many horrible, sad memories but I felt like I had to relive a happy moment here. There we were the three of us again. John just finished mowing a maze in the tall grass growing in our front yard.

  “How can this be a happy moment for you? You had a bad day at school and in the end Travis made John come out here and mow it all down,” Luke felt frustrated by this, it seemed like a waste of time to him.

  “I know Luke but try and remember how it felt to be in that maze. It almost seemed like it transported us to another place and time. I felt freedom Luke, didn’t you?” I asked as we raced through the maze.

  While I ran I began to remember back to that time, I believe a particular event leading up to that day resulted in my breakdown at school. As I ran in that maze with Luke I saw our school bus rolling to a stop. Luke, John and I stepped off and began to make our way up the driveway when almost simultaneously the three of us began to slow our steps. The voices were loud and the banging could be heard all around us, as if it is carried in the wind, I remember thinking.

  “You stupid woman, how could you do such a moronic thing as invite a priest into our house. Do you really want to tell everybody our problems? That secrecy bit is a lie, people will talk. Don’t you ever do this again! This is not your life alone, you share it with me and I say who enters this house. Do you understand?” he raged. Then it happened, the hit that we knew would follow the rant. Not only did he throw the lamp into the television, holes were punched into the living room wall and broken beer bottles had been scattered across the entry way. Our mother now knelt sobbing with a purple cheek on the floor. Our father grabbed his keys and as he headed to his truck.

  “Clean up this mess before I get back or you’ll be next,” he yelled at us as we stood on the porch. He didn’t look back before he sped down the driveway and out on to the hi-way.