Undead Tango

by Alexis Martin

  Then it dawned on her, today was Cody’s birthday. She remembered her promise to him, and she panicked for an instant.

  It was a bleak day, and she was filthy with old sweat and a coat of dust. It was hard to stay clean for long on these extremely uncomfortable days.

  She wasn’t nervous about her agreement with Cody. She looked forward to it, but how could she make his first time memorable or romantic in a place as this where death was lying in wait around every corner. Okay—so romance was obviously out the window, but she at least wanted to do something special for him and at the bare minimum be clean.

  She tapped Will on the shoulder and whispered into his ear. “Find the next decent-sized town for the night.”

  He cocked his head and looked at her curiously. “The plan was—”

  “I know the plan. Did you forget that it’s Cody’s birthday today?”

  “Ahhh, now I see,” he emphasized with a grin. “Anxious to deliver the birthday gift to him?”

  She smacked his shoulder. “Maybe I am. I need a bath and a soft bed.”

  “Whatever. You’re the boss apparently,” he replied miserably.

  She could tell Will was more than a little jealous, but a deal was a deal. Skye was never one to break a promise, so Will would have to get over it.

  * * * *

  Twenty miles down the dusty road and they happened upon an adult boutique store. The parking lot was deserted except for a windowless van near the front of the store.

  Vander hopped out of the Jeep with two shotguns at the ready. This was not one of their planned stops, but everyone had to use the restroom and a misting rain made the drive uncomfortable.

  Will opened the rear van door as Vander held his twin shotguns out to deliver anything that moved into hell.

  The van was void of zombies, but what it did contain were boxes upon boxes of hard liquor—mainly whiskey and rum.

  Vander heaved two boxes to the back of the Jeep and popped the top of a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. He took a long draw and sighed. “Ahh, I feel human again.” It had been a long time since he felt the sweet burn of whiskey.

  He handed the bottle to Cody. “Happy birthday, man.”

  He sniffed the top and made a face. “I never drank before,” he admitted.

  “Now is a perfect time to start.”

  Before Cody could bring the bottle to his lips, Will took it from his hands. “He is too young,” he said sternly, “and we all need to stay frosty. I don’t need anyone shit faced.”

  “You have to be joking,” Vander said contritely. “We are in the middle of nowhere, could be the only ones left alive, and you are still acting like a lawman. We could all be dead by tomorrow, walking the earth as zombies.”

  “If so,” he said coldly. “It won’t be because we were all tanked on hard liquor.”

  Vander spread his hands wide. “You need to learn to live a little. One drink is harmless.”

  “Not to someone that has never tasted it before.”

  Vander shook his head and walked away before the argument turned into an all-out brawl. If Will wanted to be an uptight, prude cop, and unreasonable, it was fine by him.

  If things escalated into fists, he was certain he could kick his ass. Will was nowhere near his size, and the extra weight alone would be enough to pulverize him. Then again Will knew those sneaky cop moves, ground-fighting techniques that a SWAT team leader could only know. But today wasn’t a good one for fighting anyway. The rain had picked up, and the wind was swirling, plus they were standing in front of a sex shop.

  “I’m going in,” he declared.

  “Yeah, no sense in getting soaked out here,” Skye agreed. “We should wait out this monsoon.”

  “Don’t get too comfortable yet,” Will warned. “We need to clear the entire building first.”

  The group went inside the open door with their weapons locked and loaded, ready to put holes through any undead stragglers. After the initial sweep, they broke off into pairs. Cody teamed up with Vander, Skye with Will.

  Vander audibly sighed with the matchup once again. Just one time he wanted to disappear with Skye for a few minutes. But the kid took a shine to him, and Cody was always good company.

  He noticed a nervousness to the young man that had not always been there. “Looks like there’s a corncob stuck up your ass, boy. What’s wrong with you today?”

  “I don’t know really.”

  “Bullshit, what’s up, man?”

  “What is sex like?”

  “I see. This is obviously about Skye and that ummm…arrangement.”

  Cody nodded. “She is awesome, and beautiful, and nice, and—”

  “I get it, kid. I get it. You like her.”

  “She is the most amazing woman in the whole world, and I don’t want to disappoint her.”

  “She could be the only woman in the world,” he huffed under his breath.

  “What?” Cody asked.

  “Nothing—never mind.” Vander couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy with the situation. He had strong feelings for Skye, and now she was going to have sex with Cody, who was little more than an inexperienced child.

  He looked both ways and rubbed his face then patted Cody on the shoulder. “So you never been with a woman, eh?”

  “What should I say to her? I don’t want to come across as an inept idiot.”

  “The first thing you need to understand about women is that there is no understanding them.”

  Cody gave him an awkward stare. “That makes no sense—at all.”

  “Exactly,” Vander said with a large grin.

  “I’m not following you.”

  “One day I hope you have a real opportunity to understand it. Women are strange creatures. One second they are sincere and loving, then the next they wouldn’t hesitate to drive a knife through your arm.” He pointed to the deep scar on his forearm. “Well, that is my take on it anyway.”

  “What about the act itself? You know, sex,” he probed.

  Vander kept his voice low. “Women like Skye are more attracted to confident men, men that know how to take charge if you catch my drift.” He cupped his own bulge and shook it. “A cock should always rule the roost, boy.”

  “What if I don’t have that type of personality? I really want her to like me, Vander. I don’t want to fail her or us.”

  “I have no doubt you will be timid at first. It is only natural for someone in an alien environment. But you can be shy for only so long then you have to act and take control. Slide in behind her when the chance presents itself and hang on to her hips as tight as you can. At the right moment I want you to swat her ass with an open hand while you yell, ‘Who’s your daddy?’”

  “Are you serious? No bull crap?” His jaw fell open.

  “If you can do that, just keep swattin’ her ass while you give her the pipe then she will be yours forever. No bullshit.”

  The young man’s smile broadened. “I will do it the second I get the chance to. Thanks. Who’s your daddy—ha-ha. I never would have guessed that.”

  “It’s okay, kid. It’s why I’m here.” Vander could hardly contain a laugh. He didn’t realize Cody was so damn gullible. He almost hated giving the kid bad advice, but then again he really did not want Cody’s encounter with Skye to be a very successful endeavor. He highly suspected that Skye would turn around and smack him back and the little rendezvous would be all over with.

  It was awfully dark in the sex shop since the few windows that circled the building where covered with posters of naked babes. Vander collected an assortment of adult magazines and handed them to Cody. “You need to study these,” he told him. “And take notice of all the different positions—maybe try them out on Skye. You see here,” he said tapping a finger to the center picture inside the Horny Bitches in Heat magazine. “You see this upside down move where you have her on her head and she is fully spread. If I were a gambling man, I bet Skye would love you to throw her on her head and do that to her.”r />
  “Yeah…maybe she would.” He took the magazines and went to where a sliver of light peeked through a partially covered window.

  Good night, this boy was something else. Vander was pretty sure Skye would go running from the young man once things started to happen.

  “It’s all clear,” Will shouted as he joined them with Skye at his side.

  Skye waltzed over to Cody and looked over his shoulder. “Whatcha lookin’ at, Cody?”

  “Vander gave me these magazines,” he explained. “Told me to study them for some ideas.”

  “He did, did he? Well, it looks as if Vander is a terrible influence on you. First he tries to make you drink hard liquor, and now he is trying to corrupt your innocent, young mind.” She scowled at the big man.

  “I did no such thing,” Vander cut in while twirling his finger in a clock motion around his temple. “I think Cody has lost his marbles.”

  Skye apparently ignored him. “Why don’t you find something you would like to see me in,” she told Cody.

  All of the men’s jaws unhinged. “Are…are you for real?” Cody asked timidly.

  She ran a hand through his thick mop of brown hair. “Absolutely,” she replied. “It is your birthday after all. And this is as good a place as we’re going to find.”

  Vander felt kind of queasy suddenly, like the walls were crashing down around him. He scratched his broad chin and was going to say something. Protest this whole idea in some way, but the words escaped him, and he walked away.

  That woman was going to kill him one way or another.

  * * * *

  Within the hour the adult boutique was locked down tighter than a drum, and an old generator provided them with dim lighting.

  Skye had seen the juvenile jealousy and petty anger as clear as day on Will and Vander’s faces when she told Cody to pick out an outfit for her to wear. They both acted as if they owned her which sort of got under her skin. She was going to get even with them—put Will and Vander back in their places. She just didn’t know how yet.

  All three boys were in the far room trying to get a television up and running, and this gave Skye some time to do some browsing. She obtained a plastic bag and filled it with flavored body oils, sex lubes, and an assortment of other odd trinkets she found amusing. Why not? Everything was on sale anyway.

  She had no real issue with taking Cody by the hand, escorting him to the center of the sex shop and going to town on him. He was sinfully cute with those doe-like, brown eyes and curly, dark hair. She was absolutely attracted to him. Added to this was his demeanor, laid- back and genuine, so pure and innocent. Not like Vander the Neanderthal at all.

  The only problem was Cody was a virgin by his own admission, and she was determined to make his first experience an incredible one. She couldn’t do that in the middle of a sleazy sex shop in the middle of nowhere with Will and Vander breathing down her neck.

  She poked her head in on the guys and saw them watching a large plasma screen. On it was a healthy-looking blonde woman taking on two well-endowed men, her painted lips practically inhaling their shafts to the balls.

  She coughed loudly to get their attention. “Cody,” she said, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. His head whipped back, and Will quickly turned off the porno image on the television.

  “It was the only thing on,” Will explained lamely.

  “Right,” Skye countered. “Cody, come here.” He shuffled to her, red-faced. She cupped his cheeks and gave him a soft, seductive kiss on his puckered lips. She forced his jaw open, and their tongues finally connected.

  Cody grunted. She did not stop until his lips and tongue properly responded against hers. She moved into him and pressed her body against his and felt the distinct outline of an erection in his pants. He was ready in seconds, and she smiled.

  She brushed her plump lips around the outside of his ear and kissed him ever so softly. “A kiss for the birthday boy,” she whispered in her most seductive vice. Cody gulped.

  “Are you hard right now from the kiss or the adult feature?” she asked.

  “The kiss,” he assured her.

  “Good answer.” The other two men seemed very uncomfortable and fidgeted badly in their awkward seated positions. She turned her attention back to Cody. “I want us to make love, but I don’t think that this is the best environment. I want the moment to be special.”

  “It will be special if I am with you, Skye. Anyplace, anywhere will be perfect.” He handed her a brown paper sack. “I picked this for you to wear. I hope you like it.”

  “Are you certain you want to do this here? In this place?”

  “It doesn’t matter where. I want this more than anything. I never said this before, but I…I love you, Skye. Ever since the first day I knew you were the one.”

  “Give me about thirty minutes,” she said, taking the brown paper bag. She then turned her gaze to Will and Vander. “You two stay put and watch your little movie. I don’t want one interruption.” Will opened his mouth to speak. “I mean it—not one thing said.” He closed his mouth and shot her a disgruntled expression.

  With that she spun around and left.

  Chapter 5

  Will knew this day was coming, but it was still hard to shake the sting of it. “I could use that drink right now,” he admitted

  Vander tossed him the bottle. Will removed the cap, took three deep swallows, and forced a smile.

  “Well…Cody,” Will said. “Looks like you’re in for one hell of a night. Enjoy it.” His tone was obviously less than enthusiastic—even borderline depressing.

  “Do you love her, too?” Cody asked.

  “She is an easy woman to fall in love with,” Will replied. “Two men in love with the same woman never turns out good in my experience.”

  “How about three. Since all the cards are on the table,” Vander piped in. “Sorry to burst your bubble, Will, but I had my eye on her since the day I saw her.”

  Will took two more hard swallows and cleared his mouth. “You made that painfully obvious. Every time I turn around you’re eye fucking her. I doubt she has any interest in a convict like you.”

  “I beg to differ,” Vander argued. “One night, not so long ago, we almost went the distance one might be inclined to say.”

  Why that dirty rat bastard! Will set the bottle down and glared at his new nemesis, Vander Lungren. “That’s it,” he growled while grabbing an enormous, black dildo from the shelf behind him. He tore open the package and held it like a club. “Get over here so I can shove this so far up your ass you’ll choke on it. Who knows, it may remind you of prison.”

  Vander puffed his huge chest and stepped into the challenge. “You’re a nut case, Will. Skye may be the only woman left on the face of the Earth, and you want to kill me with a dildo. I am not going to chase after any zombie skirts. I’ll tell ya that. Skye is fair game, my man.”

  Will swung it forward and smacked Vander over the head with the rubber phallus.

  Vander looked nonplussed. “You actually just hit me with a rubber cock. Now I am going to make you swallow it.”

  “Bring it on, tough guy.”

  Vander grabbed a massive, pink dildo, ribbed for her pleasure, and brandished it like a sword. “Get ready to feel my wrath,” he said, charging in like a samurai warrior.

  For a big man he was swift on his feet, and Will found himself on the defensive, parrying blow after blow with his black schlong.

  Vander finally faltered by stumbling, and Will swatted him over the ass. Vander deflected the other blow and came on strong. The tip of the pink rod connected with Will’s chin, and it felt as if a large rubber band slapped his face. Then they were circling each other like a couple of swordsmen from a very low-budget film using fake cocks.

  Finally Cody stepped in between the dueling pair. “Enough, before someone gets penetrated. This is probably one of the most bizarre fights I’ve ever seen. Kind of reminds me of that one Jedi scene in Star Wars except they weren�
�t fighting with rubber penises. Look, you guys, this is silly—we are all friends here, aren’t we?”

  Will dropped his rubber cock, and Vander followed suite. The boy made sense. The whole thing was insane.

  “We all love Skye,” Cody continued. “What is the problem with that? She is the most extraordinary woman I ever met, and she may share the same feelings as we do. We can’t let our jealousy destroy what we have—destroy the friendships we share. You guys are the only family I have. Without you I’d be a frickin’ zombie by now.”

  “I think he’s right,” Vander agreed. “We could either ask Skye who she really loves or be happy with sharing whatever she is willing to give. I’m not greedy. One night a week will do me just fine.”

  Will hated hearing it, but deep down he knew it was probably true. Skye was the only female in the group, and he couldn’t hoard her all to himself. “What do you propose we do? Tell her we all love her and give her a calendar to pencil her days down with us?”

  “Given our predicament, something like that may work…I suppose,” Vander said. “Come on let’s go ask her—tell her of our brilliant idea.”

  He started toward the center room, but Will squeezed the big man’s shoulder. “Not now, Vander. Tonight belongs to Cody. We are not going to fudge things up for him.”

  Vander sighed. “I guess you’re right. Go get her, boy. Oh, and don’t forget what we discussed.” He winked at Cody.

  * * * *

  This unsavory smut shop was probably the furthest thing from being a proper place to lose your virginity, but she would have to make due.

  She set four spice-scented candles in place, circling the center platform were there was a display for bondage equipment. A weird leather swing harness hanging from the ceiling made things a bit tacky, but there was a black leather bound bench that could be used for a bed. She scooted the bench away from the strange swing apparatus, thinking that Cody would not be up for such a thing. He would probably want plain old sex being that it was his first time. She also assumed it would all be over quickly once they got the process rolling.