Of Ashes And Sin: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance (Fire Trails Book 1)

by K. N. Knight

  I thought I heard a flicker of compassion in his rumbling voice, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him to confirm it. His pain was the strongest of the three. It was all-encompassing and knocked me like a gale force wind when I met his gaze. Rael’s pain was like a shard of something bright and hard, but I could dodge it if I needed to. Oran had suffered, too, but he hid it deep, beneath layers of self-assurance, and my own hostility kept it at bay without too much difficulty.

  “No thanks,” I said, even though the thought of food brought a pang of hunger with it. “All I want is for you to return me to the town you abducted me from. Or not even that. Just let me out someplace on the road. Like you said, I am a hobo, and I’ll be fine. Just choose some other girl to join your cult. You made a mistake thinking that girl was me.”

  Rael shook his head gravely. “The fire is missing, and we need to bring it back.”

  “And how exactly do you three lunatics expect to do that?” I demanded, glancing from one to the other, watching their lips rather than their eyes. They all had nice lips, although it pained me to admit it, from Oran’s straight firm ones, to Rael’s full lower lip which curled a little at the bottom, to Zain’s, which were full, light pink, and perfectly balanced.

  Rael raised an eyebrow at the insult. “We have reason to believe that if four shifters unite in a bonded group, with each of the elements present, then the resulting stability will facilitate the generation of the next Phoenix.”

  I scanned each of them in turn again, trying to figure out whether they were all buying into it. “So, you guys are hanging out together because each of you represents a different element?”

  They nodded with annoying eagerness.

  “We met two years ago,” Zain said. “Each of us had been wandering alone since the fires, but we realized we’d be safer together because of our complementary abilities.”

  “And then we realized our union could have far more significance than that.” Rael added.

  “So, an Eagle represents the element of air.” I tipped my head in Oran’s direction. “A bear represents the elements of earth, I guess?”

  Zain rumbled his assent.

  My gaze flickered over Rael’s muscular form. “And a tiger represents…fire?”

  He shook his head. “I’m a water element. All tigers are powerful, tireless swimmers. We’re not hot-headed like some of the cat family. We like to take our time.” He rolled out the final word with a hint of suggestiveness that connected to my body in a way I didn’t like one bit.

  “Still waters run deep,” Oran quipped and rolled his eyes.

  Rael flashed him a sharp look, and I couldn’t help wondering how a standoff between an eagle and a tiger would pan out.

  And then I abandoned the thought because I finally figured out what they wanted from me. “And you think I’m going to be the fire element that completes you? No. No way, José.” I shook my head vigorously. “I’m not always a fox. Actually, my spirit animal hasn’t been fixed yet. And I’m not even sure if a fox is a fire animal anyway.”

  Oran’s next sentence chilled me to the bone. “We’ve seen you shift into a dragon.”

  I swallowed, adrenaline burning in my chest. This was really bad news. I hadn’t been a dragon for a long time. Since…

  I searched my memory. Since I shifted into one to ward off a bunch of human men with filthy intentions. They ambushed me; they all got singed. It wasn’t pretty. And that meant the elemental trio had been following me for even longer than I realized. I hardly ever shifted into dragon form. It was too painful to use often. It took a lot out of me. And that fire-breathing shit felt more like vomiting than setting the world alight. My flame was weak, and it always left my throat sore and blistered. I was a small dragon too, nothing like the beasts in storybooks. More like a lesser firebird. But I wasn’t about to admit any of this to these buffoons. “So, how are you going to get a dragon of your own?” I said, instead.

  Without warning, Oran pounced, seizing my arm with an iron grasp. “We’re going to forge one in a crucible,” he said. A hardness came into Rael’s face, and he grabbed my other arm. Suddenly, they were dragging me all the way across the room and out of the door, my feet skittering on the concrete floor, while I screamed pointlessly. We were in the middle of a forest, tall, dead trees all around, and from the light showing above the barren branches, I judged it was mid-afternoon. Terror clutched at my throat, but I tried to keep ahold of myself, my spirit animal rising up beneath my skin.

  “This way,” Zain called, and the other two dragged me after him along a narrow track bounded by young sycamore trees with leaves already yellowing until we reached a clearing maybe two-hundred yards from the building. Finally, they released me and stepped back, surrounding me.

  Paralyzed with fear, I stared at the three fierce faces. “What do you want with me?” I muttered.

  Instead of answering, Oran launched himself at me, hands smashing into my shoulders. When he knocked me to the ground, I screamed, part pain, part fear, and lashed out, trying to push him away from me. Unexpectedly, he stepped back. As I tried to get to my feet, Rael jumped on top of me, flipped me over, and kicked my legs apart, then he laid heavily on me and pressed the side of my face into the dirt. I gasped. No, no, no. This isn’t going to happen! I braced myself for him to start tearing at my clothes. But instead, he released me. I got to my feet slowly, and Zain’s big arms wrapped around my waist in a tight grasp. It didn’t hurt exactly, but it was too much. I felt like he could crush my ribs without even trying.

  “Get off me! Leave me alone!” I hollered.

  “Give her to me!” Oran hissed. He grabbed my ankles, and suddenly I was no longer in Zain’s grasp, but turning a triple somersault in the air, before landing hard on the ground, the air rushing out of my lungs. Oran was on top of me straightaway, his knees pushing my thighs apart, his big hands shaking my shoulders until my brains rattled. “Come on,” he muttered.

  “Come on, what?” I wailed.

  With a snarl, he lifted me clean off the ground and threw me. My whole body went rigid with fear, but I landed on something rough, scratchy, and slightly yielding. A bush. Ow. I was now hurting all over. I clambered out of it, and as Rael prepared to attack me again, a wave of fury ripped through me. No way was I going to let these fucking assholes maul me to death.

  And then it happened. When Rael grabbed me and knocked me to the floor once more, my animal burst through. I opened my jaws wide and gnashed with my teeth. My nails were already turning into claws. I had no idea what was coming. Just something carnivorous, aggressive, and fucking vengeful.

  I pounced, and Rael landed on his back in the dirt with a thunk. “Oof,” he grunted.

  Now you know how it feels, you prick. I locked eyes with him, gratified to see fear flickering in his gaze. Musclebound though he was in his human form, he was no match for a—a—what the hell was I? The paws that were resting on his shoulders were not the pure black of my typical foxy form. They were reddish brown with claws that looked like they could do some damage. A snarl broke out of me, louder than any sound I could remember making in my life. Then a weird sensation consumed my body, as if I couldn’t breathe, or as if something even bigger than my animal was trapped inside me, intent on getting out. All three men were staring at me, motionless. I stepped back off Rael’s body until all four feet were planted on the ground.

  When my claws connected with the earth, there was a glow, a pale golden light, that engulfed me completely. There was an intense heat, which faded fast and in its wake was a sense of total peace, filling my veins. My body seemed to grow, as if it was finally reaching its full size. It was strange, disturbing, yet euphoric, too. I felt myself in a way I never had before.

  I don’t know how long it continued, but when the light finally faded, I saw that my attackers had retreated. They no longer appeared to be a threat, but they were watching me wide-eyed with something like awe, and from time to time, they exchanged glances with one another. I ti
pped my head back, opened my jaws, and howled. It was a canine sound, echoing around the forest, through the trees, announcing my presence to the world.

  Wow. I needed to find out what was going on. I needed to regain my human shape again if that was even possible. Shift, I said to myself. It happened, unusually fast, with none of the pain and crunching I was accustomed to. And the next thing I knew, I was standing on two feet, stark naked in front of three men who’d just been acting a hell of a lot like they were planning to rape me. My hands flew to cover my body as best I could while I bent down to retrieve my clothes. But they were all shredded, from my bra to my panties, to my jeans and shirt.

  Immediately, Zain yanked his own shirt over his head and passed it to me. I grabbed it, keeping my eyes downcast, and tugged it on awkwardly. It was so big that it came down to my knees. It smelled of him, too, in a nice way—rugged and outdoorsy. I wrinkled my nose. Not that I wanted to notice anything positive about my attackers.

  I backed away and watched them for a while, but they remained ominously quiet.

  “Are you done trying to attack me?” I demanded at last.

  Zain sighed. “We were trying to force out your dragon,” he said. “We didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  I glared at Oran. “Well, you did.”

  He shrugged. “You’ll be healed within an hour or so. This whole thing was a mistake, in my opinion, but I agreed to follow the plan, so that’s what I had to do.” He turned to Rael. “Do you have a new plan yet? Because this one is screwed.”

  Something had gone awry just now. That much was obvious. But what? To say I was confused would be a gigantic understatement. I continued observing them, chewing at a piece of dry skin on my lip, trying to interpret the significant looks they kept giving each other.

  “You’ve assumed your true form,” Rael said.

  I blinked. “What? How do you know that?”

  “We sensed it. All of us. It reminded me of my own experience.”

  “And mine,” Zain added.

  “Your animal—whatever it is—increased in size after you shifted. And there was just something about the way you filled out your form. As if you are truly inhabiting yourself,” Rael said.

  “And because I was glowing, I guess?”

  He frowned. “No. That was something new. For me, anyway.” He looked at the others for confirmation, and they nodded. “Glowing when you take on your true form is something I’ve never encountered. “

  “So, this is it? I’ll never be a snake, a tiger, or a bird again?” I said, and the thought brought a whimper to my voice. I was going to miss them. All those animal sides of myself that had helped me out of scrapes so many times.

  “Nor a dragon,” Oran cut in, “unfortunately.”

  “Maybe she’s some other fire sign?” Zain suggested.

  “She’s not a fire sign. If she was, she would’ve scorched the hell out of us when we attacked her,” Oran snapped.

  “Have your parents told you of their own true shifts?” Rael asked.

  I dipped my head. “My mother was a human. She told me that when I reached maturity, I’d assume my true form. That was all my father had told her about my shifter nature, but I never knew him. He took off before I was born. And now I’ve lost my mother too.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that,” Zain mumbled.

  He was trying to be kind, I knew he was, but I shot him a glance full of fury. “This can’t be too much of a surprise since you’ve been following me for weeks. You know how alone I am.”

  “We’ll let you go soon, but first I need to know what that strange glow means,” Rael said.

  I folded my arms. “And how do you plan to do that?”

  “I’ll study,” he said simply.

  “And while he’s doing that, we’ll make sure you’ve got enough to eat and a comfortable place to sleep. And you might even enjoy the company of a few shifters for a while,” Zain said.

  I snorted, but my brain was busy, thinking the idea over. Yes, they abducted me and planned to use me for whatever plan they’d been cooking up. But their air of pure dejection convinced me the plan was no longer happening and they’d soon have no further use for me. Did I care to find out what that glow was about? Maybe. What if I let them share their food stores with me for a few hours or days? I could bide my time until I got a chance to escape, or they decided I wasn’t worth the bother?

  “Okay,” I said, raising my hands and then letting them drop back heavily at my sides. “If you’re offering to feed me, I’m not objecting. Especially since it seems like I haven’t eaten for…uh…around twenty-four hours.”

  A light came into Zain’s eyes. “We’ve got plenty of human stuff. Probably even stuff you haven’t seen for a long time. You’re welcome to it.” He paused, a flicker of eagerness showing in his lips. “Or you could go for your first hunt.”

  I sniffed. “I’ve hunted before. Plenty of times. Just because I’ve spent most of my time in human form doesn’t mean I don’t shift when I need to.”

  He broke into a smile. “I meant your first hunt in your true form. It’s something completely different, believe me.” His dark eyes sparkled, and I realized that when he was happy, as he was now, I wasn’t floored by his pain.

  I gave him a long look, allowing my animal close to the surface, to assess his intentions. I saw nothing dark in his plans for me just then. “Okay. I mean, yeah, why not?”

  “Great.” That smile turned into a full-on grin. Before the fires he would’ve been the high school jock with a heart of gold, who was working his ass off to get a football scholarship, and if he’d been my classmate, I would’ve had a giant crush on him.

  “I’ll come too,” Rael cut in. When Zain flashed him a questioning glance, he continued, “I don’t want to risk this fleet-footed animal getting away from us just yet,” he explained.

  “Oran?” Zain said.

  Oran gave an exaggerated yawn. “No, thanks. Coasting over the trees while you two lumber around in the forest is no fun at the best of times.”

  “You don’t want to see Ranger have her first hunt?” Zain asked.

  Oran shrugged. “We’ll be parting ways soon. What does it matter?”

  “Suits me,” I said.

  Oran turned away and walked back along the track in the direction we’d come from. I watched him go, pleased. He made me more tense and on edge than the other two combined. Which was weird because Zain was so much bigger than him.

  When he was out of sight, I straightened my back, relaxed my shoulders, and took a deep breath. I suspected that Zain’s shirt was big enough not to get shredded when I shifted, and I was right.

  My true form took over my body as smoothly as if it was being poured into me. I grew and flexed and stretched, my skin tingling blissfully and euphoria filling my veins. I landed gently on my four feet, with more of a whoosh than a crack, and sleek, healthy fur covered me all over from claws to muzzle. I lifted my head and howled again, unable to restrain myself. My lungs swelled. I felt powerful and somehow connected to the universe in a way that didn’t make any sense.

  Zain had snatched up his shirt as it fell, and he and Rael were watching me with that weird look of awe in their eyes again. They each stripped off their clothes, and I kept looking. Why not? I hadn’t seen a naked man in a good, long time, and the power balance was currently tipped in my favor since I was in my animal form.

  The sight that greeted me as their big, muscular, tanned bodies were revealed ignited a flame of need that mingled with my euphoria until my blood was roaring with it. I kept my eyes on them as they shifted into their true forms as well. Zain became a huge brown bear, retaining his intense black eyes. His size was incredible—at least double the size of any bear I’d seen before. Rael’s tiger was a magnificent shade of orange, like the most intense flame imaginable, and it offset the glowing green of his eyes so perfectly that they dazzled. I’d shifted into a tiger before, so I knew they were big, but he was at least one and a half times the si
ze of my former tigress.

  Rael strolled toward me on his huge white paws that were tipped with gleaming black claws. He dipped his head and touched his damp pink nose against mine, his breath a low snarl. He was purring, I realized. Then Zain approached on his big, powerful legs with equally sharp claws. His nose was black, and damp when it bumped mine. He gave a soft rumble. We were making an animal’s agreement. I understood them on an instinctual level: we’d hunt together as a trio.

  But I was going to be in the lead. With a joyous bark, I leapt over the bush that had previously scratched me up, and I was off.

  My limbs were so powerful, so agile. I bounded through the damp forest, branches and twigs whipping at my thick fur and my claws digging into the soft earth as if I’d been running there all my life. I inhaled deeply and picked up the scent of hundreds of small prey animals. I salivated, filled with bloodlust. It had been so long since I’d eaten flesh, and my body craved it, cried out for it.

  Soon, I picked up the trail of a rabbit. I sped up, nose to the ground, and heard the others coming behind me. I’d been so caught up in my surroundings that I’d temporarily forgotten they were there. But now the pounding feet were close on my haunches, and instinctively I went even faster until I was running full pelt, trying to outrun them.

  And then I sighted the rabbit—a white tail, bobbing desperately. It was no match for me, and I overtook it in two more bounds, seized its neck in my teeth, and snapped it clean. I came to a sudden stop, the limp brown body hanging from my jaws. The tiger and the bear loomed over my shoulder as I started to devour it. I was hungry, super famished. But when I was halfway through, I paused, and not knowing why, I lifted my head and offered the remains of the carcass to the other two. With a purr and a rumble they each took a symbolic bite then left the rest to me.

  Rael made a sound of satisfaction and headed off again, dashing right into the trees. I followed him, and Zain followed on my tail. The black-and-orange striped fur was mesmerizing as Rael tore through the dark green leaves. Before long, he came to a stop, another limp rabbit dangling from his jaws. He tossed it on the ground and devoured it almost whole. Okay, every man for himself. I sprinted away from him, heading left this time, looking for a bigger animal. Maybe a jackrabbit. I found a ground squirrel. It tasted better than the rabbits, its flesh richer and more satisfying.