Of Ashes And Sin: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance (Fire Trails Book 1)

by K. N. Knight

  I returned from the bathroom to see Oran and Zain tending to the horses. They’d led them to the grassy area and tied them to the picnic tables so they could graze. I went back to the wagon, keen to get a hold of the sheath for my knife. Rael was unloading some tubs from the wagon, his muscles flexing beneath his thin, dark gray T-shirt. Several intricate tattoos crept from the torn-off sleeves and neckline. I was curious, but no way was I was going to ask him about them.

  He looked up as I approached. “Everything okay?” he said.

  I shrugged. “That’s a broad question.”

  He grinned. “Can you give me a hand? It might cheer you up.”

  I scowled. “What kind of person does anything to help their kidnappers? Surely that’s the definition of Stockholm syndrome.”

  His grin got broader. “I like your sense of humor, Ranger. But look at it this way—the sooner we’re unpacked, the sooner we can eat.”

  With a sigh, I stretched my arms out to receive the bundle of canvas he was passing me. “You really sleep in tents?”

  “It’s the best way to stay warm in our human forms. Personally, I’d happily sleep in my tiger form, but Zain only shifts in emergencies, and we’ve got to stick together.”

  “But today—?” I began.

  “Emergencies and celebrations then,” he said, glancing at me over his shoulder.

  When we’d moved all the plastic boxes out of the wagon, there was a large metal one left behind, which seemed to be bolted to the wooden floor. The lid was locked with three combination padlocks. “What’s that?” I asked, after failing to lift it.

  “Oran’s money.” Rael replied. “Well, he says it’s our money. It’s his contribution to our mission. It keeps us in food and clothes.”

  I looked at him sideways, wondering if he was worried that I might want to steal it, but he seemed unconcerned. I imagined I’d have to steal the whole wagon if I wanted to get my hands on it, and even then, I’d struggle to get it open.

  We carried the poles and canvas over to the grassy area.

  “Know how to put a tent up?” he asked.

  “Nope. I was never the outdoorsy type.”

  “That’s a little ironic.”

  “I didn’t know any other shifters when I was a kid, so I never had the opportunity to frolic in the forests with my furry friends—” I broke off, realizing I’d said more about myself than I wanted to. “Anyway, how come you’re on tent duty?”

  “The horses don’t like me. Mostly because of my tiger.”

  “I feel the same way,” I said. And then I blushed. Because the truth was that I was kind of drawn to him. Against my will, my gaze kept roving over his body, noting the bulge of his biceps, the way his T-shirt clung to his pecs, while that deep, purring voice of his was doing things to me that I didn’t want to acknowledge. Yuck. Too late. I got a squirmy feeling in my stomach, and the hairs on my forearms stood up.

  Oran and Zain had finished with the horses and came over to help with the tent. I decided I’d done enough. “I’m just going for a walk,” I announced, knowing that if I hadn’t said anything, they would’ve followed me immediately. I stepped directly into the forest. It was now almost completely dark, the sky deep indigo, and I picked up the resinous scent of pines mingled with the dry, papery scent of the dying leaves on the deciduous trees. My stomach rumbled, and my animal pushed at my skin. “Hungry again so soon?” I muttered to myself. My appetite must have grown. Either that, or it was the novelty of hunting in my true form that appealed to me.

  Then I heard a trickling, gurgling sound. My ears pricked up. A stream. Less than a hundred feet away. How long had it been since my last wash? Suddenly I was aware how dirty I felt. Picking up speed, I strode through the undergrowth, seeking out the water.

  The stream was a good size, seven or eight feet wide in places, which meant it was probably deep enough, and it looked pretty, sparkling in the moonlight as it flowed over layers of rock. Tingling in anticipation, I stripped off my shirt, pulled off my boots, and peeled off my leggings before stepping to the water’s edge. The pebbles on the bottom were soft on the soles of my feet and the water was cold, but not freezing. I waded in further, taking small steps until I reached the center. It was quite a bit deeper here, and the water went up to mid-thigh. I took a deep breath, counted to three, and ducked in up to my shoulders. At first I gasped at the cold, but once I’d gotten used to it, it was delicious. The water felt silky on my body, and the movement of the stream was like a gentle massage. I used my hands to scrub at my skin, washing as best I could. I should’ve taken the soap from the bathroom, but this would have to do. Once I was satisfied I was as clean as I could be, I stood and waded back to the bank. But just as I stepped out, there was a crunching, rustling sound behind me. I spun around, ready to be annoyed by the site of Rael, Oran or Zain. But it wasn’t any of them.

  It was a stranger. As were the others, technically. But at least they hadn’t tried to molest me so far. Whereas, here I was, standing in just my soaking wet underwear, while this tall, thin man was wading into the stream in front of me, eyeing me like I was a tasty treat. My heartbeat sped up and I glanced at my clothes, lying in a heap a couple of feet away, my knife stuffed inside my leggings. It might take me ten, twenty seconds to grab the weapon. And in that time, he could be onto me. Panic rose in my chest, and my lungs refused to take in air.

  Shift, I willed myself. My wolf approached the surface, but then she backed away again. She wouldn’t come. I felt her muscles stiffen into paralysis. Adrenaline coursed through my veins and my heart hammered in my chest.

  “Come on,” I muttered, addressing her as if she was an entity separate from me. The man dipped his head like a bull preparing to charge and kept coming. No, no, no. This wasn’t going to happen. I hadn’t looked after myself all this time, in a ton of dangerous towns and grimy lodging houses, only to get attacked when I thought I was safely miles from civilization. Shift, I willed myself again, but my wolf sank deeper inside me. I shuddered and tried my hardest to reach her. It was like watching something valuable plummeting into deep water.

  “All by yourself out here?” the man said with a thin-lipped smirk. He was now five feet from me, and I wavered, torn between racing for my knife and hoping my wolf would break through.

  “Leave me alone,” I said loudly.

  “I won’t hurt you, little one,” he said, and there was something ugly in his voice that suggested this was exactly what he wanted to do. He stretched out a hand. “Let me help you out of the water, then we can get you out of those wet clothes.”

  I shrank away from him, concentrating hard, begging my wolf to take her form.

  Suddenly, a snarl tore through the air. My head whipped around. A huge brown bear stood behind me on all fours, lips drawn back, showing its sharp white teeth.

  “Zain!” I exclaimed.

  He made a rumbling purr of acknowledgment, and then he bounded past me, splashing through the water on his mighty legs. As the man watched in terror, eyes like saucers, Zain cuffed him in the middle of his chest, knocking him down. The water was deep there, and he went right under. Zain held his giant paw pressed to the sternum of the man, who kicked and thrashed, desperate for air. I watched in horrified fascination, unsure whether I wanted Zain to stop. That piece of crap had intended to rape me, hurt me. And yet I wasn’t sure if I was prepared to watch him drown.

  When the man’s struggles became weaker and weaker Zain lifted his paw, and he fought his way to the surface, gasping and choking. His shirt was shredded, and four deep, red weals cut into his chest from neck to belly. “Help me!” he wailed.

  I folded my arms across my chest. “Me help you? Are you kidding?”

  “I wasn’t going to hurt you!”

  “Do you really think it’s okay to force yourself on a girl just because you see her alone?”

  “Y-you looked like you needed p-protecting,” he stuttered.

  “Wrong answer,” I said.

  Right on
cue, Zain swiped him again, knocking him sideways this time and tearing up his back.

  Zain didn’t hold him down this time, though, and he surfaced with a lot of splashing and screaming. “Please! I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. You just looked so pretty, and I’m so lonely out here. I thought I could get you to be my girlfriend,” he whined. “I wish I could take it all back.”

  I shook my head. “What are you going to do the next time you come across a girl by herself?”

  “Run like hell in the opposite direction!”

  “Okay, off you go.” I tilted my head in the direction he’d just come, and he hurtled off full pelt, splashing through the water, his whole back a bloody mess.

  Beside me, Zain shifted back into his human form, snatching up the remnants of his clothes. “Are you okay?” His deep voice was tinged with concern.

  “I’m fine,” I said, trying to conceal the fact that I was shaking from head to toe. “I can take care of myself.”

  He chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound. “Yeah? What was your plan if I hadn’t turned up?”

  I stayed silent. He was right. I wasn’t usually so careless, and I knew it was because I felt almost safe with the three of them nearby, however weird that was.

  “I’m pretty sure your knife is all the way over there with your clothes,” he said.

  I released a long, shaky breath. “I couldn’t shift,” I admitted at last. “It’s the first time that’s happened to me. But I just panicked. And my wolf sank below the surface. Does that mean I won’t be able to shift if I’m threatened?”

  Zain shook his head slowly, and I was struck by how wise and handsome he looked in his big, heavy-jawed way. “It’s sometimes hard the first few times after taking on your true form. Why don’t you try again?”

  I hesitated. All I wanted to do right now was dry off, put some food in my belly, and sleep. But I knew it was important. I ducked beneath the water until it reached my neck, and I slipped off my underwear. Then I willed my wolf to come yet again.

  Several long seconds passed, which was enough time for me to wonder whether I’d lost the ability to shift permanently and to contemplate how much crappier my life was about to become. Then, with a rushing sensation, she surfaced, bursting through my skin, bristling and magnificent. I lifted my head and howled, all the way to the half moon. Okay. Everything’s fine. I’m still here, and I’m not going anywhere, she seemed to being saying to me.

  Zain nodded approvingly. “Good work. Now shift back.”

  I willed it, and it happened, smooth as silk. But, instead of finishing my change upright, I remained on my haunches in the water, owing to the fact that I was naked. And—oh—Zain was holding my underwear, which had evidently floated his way.

  “Looking for something?” He twirled the dripping black garments around his thick index finger, his nice white teeth glimmering in the darkness. He tossed the underwear to me, and I caught it as it plopped onto the surface of the water in front of me. Before I needed to ask, he turned his back to give me some privacy to get dressed.

  His kindness touched my heart as I wrestled on the bra and panties—which was no mean feat underwater—before standing up and making my way back to the river bank. I should’ve been cold now, but my wolf lingered just below the surface, warming me. As I bent down and reached for my shirt, a movement behind Zain caught my eye. It was Rael.

  He sauntered toward us, a smile playing at the corners of his lips. “I wish I’d known there was a pool party going on over here,” he said.

  It was so absurd in the light of what had just happened that I burst out laughing, then Zain laughed, too. “Yeah, come and join in,” I said.

  “I might do that.” Rael’s smile got wider as he felt for his belt buckle.

  As my gaze was drawn to the movement of his hands, there was a sudden rush of heat to the apex of my thighs, and my nipples hardened with a shiver.

  His hand stopped moving, and I looked up to meet his gaze. They were trained on me, deep pools full of inquiry. I looked to my left, and Zain was watching me with a similar expression. Then they exchanged glances.

  Busted. Somehow they’d picked up on the reaction in my body. My cheeks heated.

  “Just kidding,” Rael said, and the tension dissolved. I pulled on my shirt and leggings, caught between two opposing emotions. No, I’m not disappointed he didn’t strip off and climb into the water, I told myself angrily. What did I expect was going to happen anyway?

  Rael’s eyes burned into me as I stepped into my boots and shoved my knife into my waistband, but I forced myself not to look at him. The two of them began to walk ahead of me on the way back to the camp and, while I kept my eyes on the path in front of me, squeezing out my sopping hair, I could see that Zain was shoving Rael along, as if they were sharing some bro-joke.

  The annoying warmth between my thighs didn’t seem to be going anywhere soon. I wasn’t used to it, but I knew what it meant, and I didn’t like it one bit. If my wolf thought I was going to seek out a mate just because I’d found my true form, she had another think coming.

  “Goodness me, you look like a drowned rat,” Oran said as we emerged into the clearing.

  I scowled at him and immediately that hot need turned to ice. I shrugged. “Just keeping clean,” I said and flashed him a filthy look.

  “Everything okay?” he said to the guys rather than to me.

  “Yeah, just some weirdo in the bushes, biting off a lot more than he could chew,” Zain said, and he looked at me kindly.

  “Good,” Oran replied. He was putting some containers of food on one of the picnic tables. I gazed at the familiar grains and vegetables without enthusiasm. I regretted not staying in my wolf form and hunting. But I was just so tired.

  “Not satisfied with tonight’s offerings?” Oran said.

  “No, it’s fine.”

  “We thought we’d be cooking by fire tonight,” he said with a trace of meanness.

  “If you guys hadn’t scared the crap out of me earlier when you attacked me, I wouldn’t have found my true form yet, and I might still have had the ability to shift into a dragon. Then you could’ve eaten all the roast meat you wanted!” I snapped. Something like guilt passed across his features, but it was gone fast.

  Rael huffed out a breath. “We were so sure you were a fire elemental. You were so tough, so independent. Didn’t take crap from anyone. It didn’t occur to any of us that you could’ve been an air, earth, or water sign. Never mind the fifth element.”

  “Whatever. It’s done now,” I said flatly. While I didn’t want to let them off the hook for what they’d done to me, the more I saw of my desert wolf, the more I liked her. And I was starting to understand that the ability to shift into almost any animal was nothing compared to inhabiting your true form.

  I sat down at the picnic table next to Rael and opposite Zain and took my share of the food. It was bland, monotonous, but edible. I ate my fill, no one saying much. From time to time, I cast sweeping glances at each of the guys, wondering what they were thinking. Wondering what would’ve happened if Rael had stripped off and joined me and Zain in the river.

  “Where can I sleep?” I asked as soon as I was done.

  “In the back of the wagon if you want,” Zain offered.

  I didn’t need to be told twice since I’d noticed there were only two tents, and there was no way I was sharing with any of them.

  “You’ll be safe in there,” Rael said.

  “Take some water with you if you want.” Zain pointed to one of the metal canisters on the table.

  “Thanks.” I grabbed one. “Night,” I said gruffly. Then I climbed into the back of the wagon. Earlier, I’d thought there was some way of closing up the entrance. I fumbled around in the dark until I discovered a zip that attached a door flap to the canvas walls, a bit like a tent. I closed it all the way around. It wasn’t much of a defense against anybody who really wanted to get their hands on me, yet it gave me some level of protection. Tension
I hadn’t even realized was there melted out of my muscles. I slid onto the mattress, opened the toggle on my bag, and rifled through it, knowing all my possessions by touch alone. I pulled out my coat and a sweater and put the sweater on. Then I unsheathed my knife and slid it under the pillow before curling up on my side with my back to the wall of the wagon and spreading my coat over me.

  I felt safe now; safer than I had in weeks, which was shocking to realize. I knew the guys would protect me from any strangers. And as for them? My thoughts were so confused. I liked Zain when we were in the river together. And Rael? There was something magnetic about him. Unsettling, yes, but magnetic. I was drawn to them both. Which was hilarious, really. I, who’d never really been attracted to a guy before. And now I liked two of them. And then there was Oran. My eyes liked him, too, if I was honest. But what woman wouldn’t like him? He was gorgeous to look at, with the physical perfection of a Greek god. But he was also an irredeemable jerk. Not the kind of guy I’d ever go for. Not that I’d go for any of them, I reminded myself, pushing my face into the collar of my coat as I sank deeper and deeper into sleep.

  Chapter 6

  I slept deeply, only waking once during the night, and the next morning I was full of energy, all traces of weariness gone. I slipped off to the river and washed, taking advantage of having it so close by. Then we ate, packed, prepared the horses, and set off while the sun was still low in the sky. The air was crisp and a little misty as we took the main road south. The blacktop was mostly intact, and the going was fairly easy, Oran coaxing the horses skilfully around the huge potholes that appeared every few yards.

  They were good-tempered, strong horses, but I was beginning to understand how slowly they went, and that we’d be lucky to cover thirty miles in a day. Rael said I could ride in the wagon all the time if I wanted, but I felt sorry for the bay and the gray, so I walked beside them instead. They didn’t seem to have any fear of my wolf form, and they nudged at me with their soft noses when they passed close to my shoulders.