Of Ashes And Sin: A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance (Fire Trails Book 1)

by K. N. Knight

  I walked another fifty paces in the silent, dark world but then I couldn’t stand it anymore. I turned around, and I scampered as fast as I trusted my feet to go, all the way back to the campsite.

  Rael was peering at one of his books when I returned. He was trying to angle it just right beneath the moonlight, but I was skeptical he could see anything.

  “Don’t tell me you’re actually reading that,” I said as casually as I could.

  He raised his head and grinned at me. “You’re back. How was it?” The other two were standing on either side of him, watching me eagerly.

  “Kind of lonely out there to be honest,” I said.

  “And did it hurt?” he asked.

  “No, nothing like last time. More emotional than physical, I guess.”

  “Excellent. Just as the book describes,” he said.

  I raised an eyebrow. “What is it that the book says?”

  “It says that when you’ve bonded with all your mates, it will no longer be painful to be separated from them. However, you will all feel an emotional tug to be together.”

  I gaped, looking from one to the other. “And how was it for all of you?”

  “We all felt sad and lonely,” Zain said. “Like we couldn’t function until you returned.” The other two nodded in agreement.

  “Are you—are you saying I’ve bonded with all of you because we’ve had sex?” I said shyly. For some reason it was embarrassing to acknowledge publicly that I’d been with each of them.

  “That’s right,” Rael said.

  “And now you’re all my mates? I’ve been destined to have three mates?”

  Rael nodded. “Yes, we’re all your mates. But you could have more. Shifters of the fifth element are rare, and your needs might be different from other elementals.”

  “Some shifters have multiple partners,” Zain said.

  “Yes, that’s true. But this is something different, unique, and special between the four of us.” Rael paused. “Although, there might be another waiting to complete us.”

  I frowned. “What do you mean?”

  “Nature likes balance. After all, we were originally seeking out a fire element. So it might happen that a fire element catches Ranger’s attention someday, too.”

  I tried to interpret his expression. His tone was very matter-of-fact, as if he was unconcerned he might have to share me with not two other shifters, but three. But I really wasn’t sure I wanted to leave myself open to falling for more guys. Not that I’d fallen for these three anyway. It was some weird magic bond stuff I couldn’t control. But it didn’t mean I loved them. No way. I wasn’t in the market to fall in love with anyone.

  Chapter 12

  The next day Oran, Rael, and I walked beside the horses while Zain took the reins. It was warmer than it’d been for a long time, and I hoped it was a sign we were moving into the more temperate zone. I’d slept alone again last night, too full of thoughts and emotions to not have my own space. My sleep had been full of vivid dreams, and when I woke up, I discovered I’d kicked all the covers off and that my nails had somehow torn up the pillowcase.

  By the time I got up, the guys had already hunted their breakfast, so I went out, too. I caught two rabbits and devoured them ravenously. My body instantly became stronger and full of energy, as if it had been in desperate need of meat.

  After that, we’d set off, barely speaking to each other, avoiding eye contact. As we walked, I kept wondering what each of them had been thinking during the night. If they regretted the fact they’d all bonded with me. Eventually, I couldn’t stand it anymore.

  “Are we going to talk about this?” I demanded, breaking a half-hour silence.

  “Talk about what?” Rael said, flashing a grin that demonstrated he knew exactly what I meant.

  “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that I’ve slept with all of you, and you’re all my mates.”

  “Why don’t you start, Ranger?” Zain said from his position high up on the wagon bench.

  “Well…” I kicked at some loose stones as I walked, stalling for time. “Well, I like all of you. And even though you’re all so different, I feel drawn to each of you. Which is very unusual for me. I mean, when I was at school, I hardly ever liked a guy, let alone three. And the idea that three guys might also like me back is kind of mind-blowing.”

  They all remained silent, but the tension in the air was so thick I could have cut it. Rael was closest to me, and I picked up the low purring noise he made sometimes, the big cat tracking its prey. “Don’t all answer me at once,” I said, embarrassment rising in my chest. I felt like I was in a dream. Some crazy dream where three of the hottest guys in the universe want to be with you. And you’ve already had sex with all of them.

  “It’s obvious we all like you, Ranger,” Oran said.

  I flashed him a glance, feeling too awkward to maintain eye contact. He seemed to be observing me with great interest. “B-but what I want to know is, are you happy with that? I mean, are you all happy sharing me?” I pressed my lips together, scarcely able to believe what I was asking.

  “Ranger, relax, for goodness sake,” Rael purred. “We told you last night it’s not uncommon for shifters to have more than one partner. And we sought you out to be our mate in the first place. This is not so weird for us.” He stepped behind me, laid his hands on my shoulders, and began to massage me, making me giggle.

  “But…what’s it going to be like sharing, though? Won’t you all get frustrated you only get to be with me a third of the time? Wouldn’t you all prefer to have your own mate?”

  “There’s more than one way of being together, Ranger,” Oran said. When I met his gaze, his eyes were bright, pupils dilated.

  “What do you mean?”

  “That’s maybe something to explore later,” Rael said. “But I think the short answer to your question is, no, we won’t get frustrated, as long as you won’t get overwhelmed.”

  I looked at them in turn, thinking how much I liked them, in such different ways. How I enjoyed feeling safe, protected and cared for by them. How much I’d enjoyed having sex with each of them. The different ways they’d turned me on and satisfied me. I didn’t think I could ever get too much of them. “I think I’ve got appetite enough for all three of you,” I said. Oran flashed me a wicked grin. He still unsettled me, but last night’s sex had brought us closer together.

  “We should look out for cooked food along the road here,” Zain said. “I’ve heard rumors there are a few operations with solar grills.”

  Everyone responded enthusiastically, eager to change the subject. By lunchtime, we hadn’t come across any though, so we stopped for an hour to rest the horses while we had the usual cheese, grains and salad.

  We didn’t come across any in the afternoon either, but around an hour before dusk, the unmistakable smell of cooking meat seemed to reach all of our nostrils at the same time.

  “Do you smell what I smell?” Zain said.

  “Sure do!” we agreed. Immediately he spurred on the horses, and we arrived at the food station at a trot.

  The grill was a slow cooker—a curious contraption that started at sun-up, according to the friendly old couple who owned it, and cooked the meat for a good eight hours until it was ready.

  There was mutton and goat, and it looked delicious. We were the only customers so we all ordered huge portions and sat down at one of the battered old tables in front of the grill and ate with relish. The meat had been marinated in olive oil and salt, and it tasted even better than the grill we’d had in New Vegas. I was happy to see the pleasure Zain took from his meal, since he got to eat meat so rarely, when, as the biggest of all of us, his body needed meat the most.

  The grill was guarded by the owners’ two sons, tall burly men with shotguns, but they smiled at us and stayed in the background, and it didn’t spoil our enjoyment.

  When we’d finished, the owners brought out six cups and a bottle of what looked suspiciously like red wine and laid them on
the table.

  “Will you join us for a drink?” the man asked. He had a tanned, weather-beaten face and twinkling brown eyes. He looked good-hearted. We all shrugged and kind of nodded, and he filled the cups up with the light red wine. Then he lifted his cup, and we all said cheers. Because I was suspicious of everyone these days, I waited until both he and his wife had swallowed before I drank as well. It was tasty and soft, like a perfect summer evening.

  We thanked him and said how much we liked it, and he beamed at us.

  “To what do we owe the pleasure?” Oran said.

  The woman clasped her hands together, dimples appearing in her cheeks as she smiled. “I don’t know. You all look so happy together. And you seem like such good folks. We don’t get to talk to a lot of people here, and we felt like we just wanted to share with you.”

  “Well, thank you for the compliment, and the same to you,” Rael said, and he raised his cup to them again. I snuck glances at each of the guys. We did look happy together today. They all had a kind of glow, and I wondered if I did as well. I had a ridiculous urge to announce that they were all my mates.

  The couple started telling us about their lives, how their only daughter had been up north when the fires started, and they hadn’t heard from her since, but they both felt she was still alive. How they’d always been farmers with their own private vineyard. They’d had both the solar panel and the slow cooker from before the fires, and they loved cooking meat for people who passed by and seeing how happy it made them. They asked us about our lives, too, and we told them snippets. I wasn’t sure why, but I was reluctant to tell them anything that I hadn’t shared with the guys first.

  The alcohol hit me fast, as it always did these days, and I loved the warmth in my stomach and the relaxation it brought to my heart. I stopped worrying about what was happening between me and the guys, and what the future held for all of us, and just relaxed and enjoyed the late afternoon sun and the random company of these two kind people. When the first bottle was empty, the old man brought out a second bottle and we drank that as well, chatting and laughing until the sun got low in the sky and the couple said they needed to get packed up for the night. There was some meat left on the grill, so Oran bought it all, and we packed it for later. Then we said goodbye to the couple, wishing them all the best and that we hoped we’d see them again one day.

  “Whew, I don’t know about you, but I’m a little tipsy,” Rael said as he climbed up onto the bench and took the horses’ reins.

  “Me, too,” Zain said.

  “And me three,” I added, and with perfect timing, I stumbled over a small pothole and collided with Zain. He caught me, laughing, then he slung his arm around my waist and kissed me on top of the head. I startled. It was such a casual, yet intimate gesture, the kind of thing people did when they’d been together for a long time. I cast glances at the other two to see if they’d noticed, but they were caught up in an earnest discussion on whether homemade wine was better than bottled wine. I discovered I really liked having Zain’s arm around me, so I slipped my arm around his waist to encourage him to stay like that. He looked down at me, and we exchanged a private smile.

  “How about we pull in at the next parking lot and get ourselves fixed up before it gets dark, for once?” Rael suggested.

  “Sounds good,” everyone replied.

  Within a quarter of an hour, we came to a big field a little off the road. It was overgrown and didn’t look like it had been ploughed since the fires. There was a long, low house behind it that looked to be deserted. Rael turned in at the track that ran along the south end of the field and went right up to the house. As soon as he brought the horses to a halt, we went to investigate. The walls were brick, but it was a burned-out shell, and there was no recent scent of humans or other shifters.

  “This is good,” Oran said, stretching his arms out expansively. “And what’s this?” He went around the side of the building, and there was a dry grinding sound, followed by a gurgle and splash. With a gasp, I ran after him. There was a spigot, and it worked. The water came out clear with a strong flow. Before the fires, I would have laughed at the thought that I’d ever get excited at the sight of a cold water spigot two feet off the ground, but when running water was so scarce, this was heaven.

  “Let’s go look inside,” Zain said, already charging through the front door. Oran stayed with the horses while Rael and I went inside the building, too. Generally, I stayed out of places like this, scared of the tragedies I might encounter inside. But I wasn’t picking up any echoes so far. We found the kitchen sink still intact, although the surrounding cupboards had melted. There was a living room, which had been almost destroyed, and beyond that was a bathroom, which had escaped most of the damage. I opened a cabinet and shrieked in excitement at the sight of a bar of soap, and then I turned on the shower. The water started with a cough, rusty brown at first, but then ran clear. I scampered all the way to the wagon and grabbed my bag, shouting to the others that I was going to get cleaned up.

  The water was icy cold, but I didn’t care, and I washed fast so the guys would get their turn before it got too dark to see.

  When I came outside again, Zain announced he’d found a metal basin, and we filled it up from the spigot and threw all our dirty clothes in. I scrubbed all my stuff with the soap, then Rael got out of the shower and helped me scrub all the other clothes. Then I found some old rope and we strung it between two trees and hung all the wet clothes up. When we were done, we sat on the back board of the wagon and gazed up at the sky that was turning royal blue.

  “I love this time of night,” I said. “It’s like a new beginning.”

  “Me, too,” Rael said. “The sunset is so beautiful. But afterward, the sky gets really dull, and it makes me sad the day’s passed. But then, on a clear night like this, the sky gets bright again, and I start to look forward to the night.”

  I stared at him. “Wow, that’s exactly how I feel as well,” I said.

  He gave me a slow, languid smile. “Is this a good place?” he asked.

  “Yeah, it’s beautiful.” I gazed at the moon, which was low in the sky, glowing yellowish white.

  “I mean, do you get good vibes here, or whatever it is you feel?”

  I nodded. “Yes, there are no echoes. Not that I can sense anyway. No one was killed when the fires came through. I get the feeling it had already been abandoned for some reason, but not because of anything bad.”

  “That’s good to hear. I felt it was peaceful, too. But then I was worried we might be impinging on someone else’s tragedy.”

  I glanced at him sideways. He often surprised me with his sensitivity. He was such an intriguing combination of strong and in control, and thoughtful and questioning.

  “Is the moon full tonight?” I asked. “I can never tell when it’s a perfect round.”

  “How do you feel when you look at it?” he said, and he was suddenly watching me intently.

  “I feel kind of drawn to it because it’s beautiful. And, to be honest, my wolf seems kind of excited by it. Like she’s bristling beneath my skin, eager to get out.”

  “You know that wolves are governed by the moon, right?” he said in a low purring tone.

  “I guess. I hadn’t really thought about it, though. Governed how exactly?”

  “When the moon is full, wolf shifters usually go into a mating frenzy that can last several days.”

  I stiffened and was unable to look at him.

  “Is that how you feel?”

  I hadn’t wanted to admit it to him, but yes, that was the other thing I was feeling. As soon as I’d laid eyes on the moon, there seemed to be an electric charge running through my body, turning me on so much I could hardly stand it. My nipples were erect, and I could feel I was already wet. I sensed that the slightest touch could bring me close to orgasm.

  “Ranger, you don’t have to be shy about it. You’ve mated with all of us already.”

  I blew out a long breath. “But…how
does this work? I mean, I want all three of you.”

  Just then Zane and Oran approached, fresh from the shower. I picked up the clean, damp scent of their skin, these two men who smelled different yet equally enticing, and my body reacted with a fresh burst of arousal.

  “How do you think it works?” Rael purred, and he laid a hand on my thigh. I looked at the other guys and back at him again, and my lips parted in comprehension.

  “It’s a full moon tonight,” Oran observed.

  “It is,” Zain said.

  I was suddenly so overwhelmed with the sexual tension and the fact they all knew how horny I was that I giggled. Somehow, it broke the ice. Rael took my chin with his fingertips and angled my face toward him before kissing me deeply on the mouth. A moment later, Oran’s arm slid around my waist, slipping beneath my shirt and caressing my bare skin. I felt another hand on my hair—Zain’s—and I broke off from the kiss with Rael and started kissing him instead. I was in a daze as they guided me to my feet, taking turns to kiss me, touching me all over. Standing behind me, Zain unbuttoned my green-and-black checkered shirt as Oran stood in front of me and watched. When Zain unclasped my bra, Oran slid the straps over my shoulders and pulled it all the way off, and they both caressed my breasts, each aching nipple chafed by a different man’s hand. Then Rael slipped his hand down the front of my pants and into my panties, and when his finger slipped inside me, I gasped, my body jolting violently.

  “You’re so wet,” he crooned. I swallowed the flicker of embarrassment and gave over to the sensation of Rael’s long, strong fingers moving in and out of me while Zain and Oran took turns kissing me, caressing my breasts. When they each dipped their heads and took my nipples into their mouths, I started to shake all over. I gazed at the moon through fluttering eyelids, and a powerful orgasm hit me, shooting multicolored stars through my body.