Say I Do

by Rachel Hauck

  Emotion swelled in Ginger’s chest. No one had ever spoken to her in such sweet tones except Grandpa.

  Not even when she was pulled from the fire, when she lay in a hospital bed weeping from the pain, did anyone offer her kind encouragement.

  “Ginger,” Mama used to say. “Stop all these tears. There’s just no other way to heal but go through the treatments. Now, come on, do you want to watch Gilmore Girls reruns with me?”

  Tears pushed to the surface as Tom hopped up, claiming, “Ready.” Ginger ducked behind the back of the car to hide her swimming eyes.

  “Born ready.”

  “You all right?” His soft tone drifted over her shoulder and into her soul.

  “Yeah, whatever, let’s just do this.” Ginger wiped her eyes clear and ducked behind the car, hands on the engine’s hood, bracing to push, her feet sinking into the wet, cold ground.

  “Ginger, you don’t have to—”

  “Tom, can we just get this done? I need to get cleaned up before Mrs. James comes down for her appointment.”

  “Okay. But you drive, I’ll push.” He bent over her, his nose inches from hers. She could see straight through his sea-blue eyes and into his guileless soul.

  “D-drive?” She swallowed.

  “Steer? Find the high ground . . .” Tom threaded Clyde’s reins between the open door and the windshield.

  “Yeah, right.” She tugged her keys from her pocket, her heart firing. No, you can’t do this. She squeezed her eyes shut, holding her breath, shutting down her heart’s puttering. “I drive, you push.”

  He grinned. “Sounds like a plan. Ready?” Tom stepped back, but held a narrow gaze on Ginger. “You sure you’re all right?” He angled forward. “I mean with the news and all. It’s okay if you’re not. We dumped a shocking truth on you last night. Did you call your mom?”

  “No. And Tom, stop trying to be Mr. Fix It. Let’s goooo already.”

  “Pardon me for caring.” His sharp tone pierced her fragile facade. When he moved to the back of the car, Ginger sat behind the wheel.

  Oh, Mama . . .

  “Here we go,” he called. “Clyde, chirrup. Go boy, go.”

  Ginger shifted into neutral and gripped the wheel as Clyde lowered his head and leaned into his harness, air clouds swelling from under his nose. Ginger turned the ignition but the wet engine sputtered and moaned. The tires spun and whirred, finding no traction.

  “Push,” she called.

  “I’m pushing.”

  Tom chirruped to Clyde again and in one lunge, the grand beast freed the car from the mud. With a shout, Ginger fired up the engine by popping the clutch. The small motor sputtered to life.

  Shifting into neutral, Ginger jumped out. “We did it.”

  But no one told Clyde his mission was complete. With an easy gait, he trotted on, the engine sputtering.

  “Hey, horse, wait—” The back wheel-well grazed Ginger’s leg, shoving her to the ground, face first into a very cold puddle.

  “Ginger, are you all right?” Tom, trying not to laugh, extended his hand.

  “Do I look all right?” She clasped her hand in his, rising from the mud, watching as Clyde picked up his pace, gaining the feel for old Matilda, and galloped toward the plantation house, the open car door swinging from side to side, Clyde’s reins slapping the Bug’s interior.

  “Ginger, why didn’t you grab the reins?”

  “B-because . . . y-you didn’t tell me to grab the reins. Why didn’t you grab them?” She flipped her hand at him, ignoring the flutter in her middle inspired by Tom’s sparkling grin. She scooped the mud from her shirt and jeans. “Look at me . . . I’m covered.” With a grumble, she adjusted her scarf and started walking, cold, muddy water slinking over the top of her ankle boots.

  “Want some company?” Tom skipped alongside her.

  “Only if you can keep quiet.” The breeze nipped at her, and the golden warmth of the sun peeking over the edge of dawn seemed galaxies away.

  She needed to think, deal with the big issue, the dark hole in the pit of her stomach. A hole formed long before she learned that her mama had liaised with a pastor, before Tom Wells Jr. ever entered her life.

  This particular hole existed despite her résumé of a big-city career, successful years with Tracie Blue, or ownership of Ginger Snips in the center of Main Street.

  She, Ginger Lee Winters, was stuck. In life. In her heart. In what she believed about God, herself, and Tom. Cold tears threatening, Ginger quickened her pace, avoiding the heat of Tom’s gaze.

  “You okay?” The tenor of Tom’s voice sweetened her mood.

  Ginger squinted up at him.

  “Why are you being so nice to me?”

  Tom evened his stride to match hers. “Maybe because I like you.”

  Ginger laughed, loud, plodding on through the long grass, combating the swirling, swooning sensation of Tom’s confession. Like her? No man liked her. Not in the way his tone indicated.

  After a moment she stopped. He was a man of God—maybe he knew the answer to her nagging question. “Does God care?”

  “Yes.” Sure. Without hesitation. Catching her off guard. She expected him to pause, ponder, hem-and-haw. Because how could a man really know if God cared?

  “Yes? Just like that?” She snapped her fingers in the icy air.

  “Yes, just like that.” He didn’t move his eyes from her face. And she flamed on the inside.

  Ginger walked on. “Okay, yeah, I guess it’s too early in the morning for a serious conversation.”

  “I am serious. Any time you want to talk, let me know.”

  She glanced over at him, saying nothing, feeling more conflicted and twisted up than before she asked the question.

  If God cared, where was He when she was trapped in the fire? Where was He in the years following? She liked being mad at Him, thinking He owed her something.

  But at the moment, what bothered her more than the news about Mama or that God left her in a fire, was the fact that Tom Wells Jr. looked every bit like she imagined Jesus might if she met Him in person. Warm, kind, without accusation, but with a blue-eyed intensity.

  However, on this cold wedding morning, she was not ready to trust any overtures of kindness, of love. Not from Tom Wells. And especially not from God.

  Chapter 7

  The atmosphere in the third-floor atrium was electric. Gone were the cold, embedded fragments of her morning in the mud with Tom and Clyde, who, by the way, nudged Ginger’s shoulder after Tom unhitched him from the car as if to say, “You’re welcome.” She felt a rush of joy at the tenderness of the gentle giant.

  However, digging out of the mud, communing with horses, cracking open her heart, even the tiniest bit, to Tom Wells, and musing over her past and the existence of God was completely out of Ginger’s element.

  But in a room full of women, doing hair? This was Ginger Winters’s wheelhouse. And she intended to never leave. Gone were her insecurities and trepidations.

  Once she and Tom arrived at the barn, where Clyde had taken the VW, Ginger accepted Tom’s help to unload and haul in her crates and cases. They did so in a contemplative silence that was not quite comfortable but not at all awkward.

  He bid her a quick good-bye when they were done, holding onto her gaze for a second longer than her beating heart could stand, then jogged down the hallway.

  Ginger slapped her hand over her heart, willing every beating corpuscle to forget the handsome visage of one Tom Wells Jr.

  Ducking into the bathroom, she’d rinsed off in a hot shower, soaping away the chill of the dawn, cleaning off the mud and sending any lingering thoughts of him down the drain.

  Then she dug clean clothes from her bag and tugged on her spare boots, entering the atrium, her heels resounding on the tile.

  By three-thirty, she’d coiffed, twisted, teased, and sprayed the hair of three grandmothers, two mothers, one great-aunt, seven bridesmaids, and two flower girls.

  All the while the music w
as blasting everything from Michael Bublé to Jesus Culture to Beyoncé’s “All the Single Ladies.”

  Laughter tinged along with the music, becoming a part of the melody and percussion.

  Right now the bridesmaids were circling Bridgett, turning up the music, belting out the lyrics with their heads back, arms wide. “You call me out beyond the shore into the waves . . . You make me brave . . .”

  Ginger closed her eyes, leaning against the makeshift beauty station, breathing in the lyrics. If there was a God who cared, could He make her brave? She liked the idea of it all.

  A blip of laughter from the older women chatting on the matching sofas caught her attention.

  They reclined in their wedding attire, the glitter in their dresses snapping up the light draining through the high arching windows, and sipping a fruity Ginger Ale punch.

  “I sure could have used a song like this on my wedding day.” One of the grandmas pointed to the singing circle. “I was so nervous I could barely stand let alone belt out a song with my bridesmaids. It took all of my gumption to make it down the aisle.”

  “That’s nothing,” said the great-aunt. “At my wedding, Daddy turned to me just as the pianist started the bridal march and said, ‘Lovie, you don’t have to do this if you don’t want.’ Lord a-mercy, I liked to have crowned him right then and there.”

  Ginger smiled and checked her watch, picking up her own punch glass. Three forty-five. An hour and forty-five minutes until the wedding. So as soon as Bridgett was done singing about bravery, Ginger would have her in the chair.

  Hair and makeup was her world. Where she was in command, captain of her destiny. But out there, in the everyday world, she was the poor, pitied, scarred one. And now the daughter of the woman who took down a preacher.

  Which was why she’d remain hidden in her shop behind long sleeves and peacock-colored scarves. And she’d glean a little of life from the women and men who entered her shop, sat in her chair, and told her their stories.

  The song ended and the girls laughed and cheered, drawing Bridgett into a hug, forming a magical bloom of beauty.

  Ginger would never fit in their garden. She’d be pruned for sure.

  But in the field of helping others, ushering every woman, young and old, into a realm of beauty, she’d thrive.

  “Oh, Ginger, look, my hair is coming undone.” Miranda broke from the circle with panic in her voice, making her way to Ginger. “Look.” She patted the loose weave Ginger had given her.

  “Have a seat.” Ginger patted the chair, squinting at Miranda’s sandy-beach colored updo. It was perfect. And practically impossible to fall since she’d plastered it in place.

  “How about some long strands . . . for curls?” Miranda said, trying to tug strands from the clips.

  “Mandy, good grief, let Ginger do her job. She’s the best. Your hair is perfect.” Bridgett stood off to the right, beaming, wrapped in a white robe and drinking a sparkling water.

  “I just like long curls over my shoulder.”

  “Because you always wear long curls over your shoulder. Be brave, do something new.”

  Ginger smiled at Miranda through the mirror. “Trust me, this twist works perfectly for your face. If you want curls, we’d have to start all over which means washing your hair.”

  Miranda made a face. “Fine, but I still think some long curls around my neck would look good.” She pointed at Bridgett. “Wait until you’re in this chair. You’ll be bossing Ginger around all right.”

  “Watch me. I’m going to face away from the mirror, that’s how much I trust her.”

  “Then here you go.” Miranda stood, shaking the folds from her long gown. “Your turn to be brave.”

  Without a word, Bridgett turned the chair away from the mirror and sat with a glare at her friend. “Ginger, do your thing.” She glanced up. “We go back a long way, don’t we?”

  “We do.” In these moments, high school became a mythical, fun place with treasured memories, where, for a brief second in time, Ginger was a part of the sorority.

  “Remember when you pulled my backside from the fire the night I tried to—” A deep red blushed Bridgett’s cheeks as she stumbled over her words. “I mean, the night I tried to . . .” She swallowed, “. . . color my hair, and . . . green. Everywhere . . . green.”

  “It was a class A emergency.” Ginger let the reference to fire pass. When she commanded her space, not even her dark tragedy overshadowed her.

  “It was my first date with Eric and my hair was all kinds of messed up. I ran, literally, to Ginger’s house, crying the whole way.”

  “And look at you now,” Ginger said.

  “Marrying”—Bridgett’s voice broke—“That same man.”

  “Who probably would’ve never noticed green hair.”

  “True, so very true.” Bridgett’s laugh sweetened the room, and the bridesmaids ahhhed.

  Ginger combed through Bridgett’s slightly curled hair, then divided it into sections, planning to fashion a light updo with tendrils drifting down the curve of her neck. Because the bride’s hairstyle should tell her story, reflect her essence.

  Bridgett’s updo was intricate with twists and curls, but entirely and altogether elegant and rich.

  Ginger teased the top of the hair, slipping into her space of contentment and peace. Because no matter how scarred or hideous she was to others, no one could take this away from her.

  If she had any true courage, she might bless the tragedy that introduced her to her destiny, to her superpower.

  As she twisted and pinned Bridgett’s hair, the women continued talking, laughing, calming the distraught wedding planner who barged into the room announcing the flowers had not yet been delivered.

  Ginger watched the drama through a covert gaze, all the while twisting, tucking, and smoothing. When Bridgett’s hair was pinned and frozen in place with hair freeze, her mother called for the dress. The designer entered along with her assistant as Bridgett stood.

  “Here we go.” She glanced back at the mirror, then at Ginger, her eyes glistening. “Exactly how I imagined my hair. Thank you.”

  Suddenly the burn of the previous night’s banishment dissipated and all was right with the world.

  Slipping from her white robe, Bridgett stepped into the fur-trimmed gown, fitting it on her shoulders and setting it on her slim waist, the crystal beading catching the light.

  Then, like bustling elves, they straightened and buttoned, helped Bridgett with her shoes, then last, handed her veil over to Ginger.

  “Will you do the honors?” her mother said.

  Standing on a stool, Ginger fitted the comb at the base of Bridgett’s silken poof and draped the blusher over her face.

  “Oh darling . . .” Mrs. Maynard cupped her hands over her mouth, not worried about her tears streaking her makeup. “You look beautiful, simply, elegantly beautiful.”

  “Eric’s eyes are going to pop out of his head.” Miranda said.

  Bridgett glided across the room to the full-length mirror and sighed. “Just like I dreamed.” She turned to Ginger. “I knew you’d make me beautiful.”

  “I think Mother Nature took care of that for you.”

  Bridgett was the perfect bride, the prettiest Ginger had ever seen. And now that her job was done, she felt herself slipping from her empowered zone into the wishing well of wanting to be a part of the bold and the beautiful.

  But she’d never be a bride, let alone one like Bridgett. Ginger slipped out of the atrium onto the deck and leaned against the railing, breathing deep, swallowing the truth.

  Ginger watched the reception from the doorway of the plantation’s grand ballroom, away from the guests and the photographers ducking in and out of the shadows of the ornate plantation ballroom with a fresco ceiling and an imported tile floor.

  The guests dined under the light of a handcrafted Waterford chandelier that disseminated light like golden scepters.

  Candlelight flickered on linen-draped tables adorned wit
h polished silver and custom-designed China. In the far corner of the room, a fire roared in the river-rock fireplace.

  The aroma of prime rib and roasted duck lingered in the air as the best man and maid of honor toasted the bride and groom. While the guests cheered and silver tinkled against cut crystal glasses, Eric kissed Bridgett and the band started a Glenn Miller tune.

  In less than a music measure, the dance floor was thick with folks juking and jiving.

  Ginger sighed. Every hairdo she had sculpted today remained in perfect place. Of course . . .

  Proud of a job well done, she debated now if she should just go on home. It was getting late and she was tired. And, despite her success with the grandmothers, mothers, aunts, and bridesmaids, she felt a little out of place and alone.

  “Hey.”

  Ginger glanced around to find Tom approaching. “Hey.”

  “Having fun?”

  “Sure.”

  Tom leaned against the other side of the doorway. “Word is Bridgett’s stylist is nothing short of a wonderkid. You brought out the best in her. In all of them.”

  Ginger gestured to the beaming groom. “I think he’s the one that really brings out the best in her.”

  Bridgett was a vision. She’d changed into a simple white satin gown for the reception, accented with a white, wintery shrug. Eric drank her in with such adoration and desire that Ginger could only watch for a moment, feeling as if she were a voyeur into his intimate, private feelings.

  With a sigh, she slipped her hand into her hip pocket. Just once, she’d like a man to look at her with such admiration. Such love. To take her in his arms and move across the dance floor.

  She loved dancing. Or at least she thought she did. She’d never been on a dance floor.

  “By the way, when I was giving Clyde his oats he said to tell you hi.”

  She snorted a laugh, covering her lips with her fingers. He got to her way too easily. “Tell Clyde hi back.”

  “He said he’d like to give you a ride sometime.”

  “How sweet. But I don’t do horses.”

  “Yeah?” His tone smiled.

  “Yeah.” She tried to sound fun and sexy but her shallow breath made her voice thin and weak.