Say I Do

by Rachel Hauck

  “Sit down,” Dad says as he drops into a chair next to Mom.

  I obey without question.

  Dad lets out a long sigh. “Please look at me.”

  I pull my attention away from my jacket zipper and force myself to give my father the attention he deserves.

  “Do I want to give you away? Yes. It is something I have imagined from the moment you wrapped those tiny fingers around mine. But Emma, walking you down the aisle was never about me. It was about you.”

  My eyes blur out of focus. I blink furiously, determinedly.

  “For your joy.” Dad reaches across the table and sets his hand over mine. “Giving you away would only be special if the man I was giving you away to was prepared to love and cherish you the way I’ve always loved and cherished you.”

  My chin trembles. “I wish that guy could be Jake.”

  Mom and Dad don’t look shocked. I think they’ve always known. I think that’s why they believed us when we made the announcement. They never questioned my side of the equation.

  “Maybe it will be,” Dad says.

  I shake my head. “I gave him the opportunity and he didn’t take it.” I picture Jake, unmoving as I handed him back his grandmother’s ring. “He didn’t even reach.”

  “Sometimes we men are slow to figure things out.” Dad smiles. “Give him some time. He might come around.”

  As much as I would love for Dad to be right, I can’t help but think that if Jake hasn’t figured it out by now, he’s never going to figure it out.

  Chapter 14

  Raindrops spit from a bloated sky and splatter against my windshield. The sunny morning has given way to a dreary afternoon, appropriate weather for cancellations. I do not hem and haw or drag my heels or dip my toe into the water. I don’t even let Lily help me. I created the mess. The least I can do is clean it up. So as soon as I leave my parents’ house, I dive in, trying not to imagine the news spreading across Mayfair faster than kennel cough. I have already called and canceled the barbecue, the flowers, the alterations—leaving voice mail messages wherever live people were taking the Sabbath off. All I have left is the cake. Jake can take care of the venue, since it’s his aunt and uncle’s place.

  My heart hurts, but I refuse to indulge in any wallowing. I’m not going to spend whatever time remains with my dad pining after Jake. I pull up to the curb and park my car as thunder rumbles in the distance, the black horizon hinting at the wrath to come. I climb out of my car, hurry across the street through the cold drizzle, and step inside the warmth of Eloise’s bakery. I am glad she opens her shop on Sunday afternoons.

  She smiles behind the counter, her face wrinkled with age and laugh lines. “Emma! What can I get for you this afternoon—some muffins?”

  “Four of your chocolate cupcakes.” Because it’s my vet technician’s birthday tomorrow and I’d like to take him a treat for all the extra hours he’s been working. “And I need to cancel the wedding cake.”

  Her eyes widen. “Cancel the cake? But you have to have cake at the wedding.”

  “There isn’t going to be a wedding.” The tone of my voice does not invite further questions. I can answer them later, when my emotions aren’t so raw.

  Eloise’s face falls. “Oh, well, I’m sure sorry to hear about that.”

  “Me too.”

  She processes my payment and hands me a container of cupcakes as the pitter-patter of raindrops turns into a downpour that pounds against the roof of the bakery. I turn around and look out the window. Normally, I’d wait inside and enjoy a muffin and some hot tea until the downpour passes, but I can feel Eloise studying the back of my head. Staying would only invite questions. I’d rather get wet. Clutching the cupcakes under one arm, I pull up the hood of my jacket, toss a wave over my shoulder, and make a mad dash outside, over the curb, out into the street.

  “Emma!”

  I stop in the middle of the road. Turn slowly. And my breath catches. Because it’s Jake. Standing several paces away, his hat and the shoulders of his jacket soaked through, his chest heaving as though he sprinted all the way from his house.

  “Jake?” I shield my eyes. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m a liar,” he shouts over at me.

  “What?” I squint through the rain, positive the din from the storm warped Jake’s words.

  He steps closer, joining me in the middle of the street, and the storm around us is nothing compared to the one raging in his eyes. “Earlier today I lied. When I told you that your happiness is all I care about.” Rain wets his lips. “It should be, but it’s not.”

  I shake my head, unwilling to believe. Unwilling to hope.

  “I left because of you.”

  “What?”

  “All those years ago. The reason I left town is because I couldn’t watch you get married to Chase. What I should have told you this morning, what I should have told you that day I offered to marry you on the porch, what I should have told you that night after you graduated high school”—he wipes his hand down his face—“Is that I love you.”

  I can’t breathe. I can’t even move.

  “I feel like I’ve loved you forever, but I’ve never been able to say it. The timing was never right. You were my best friend’s kid sister. I was going to college and then you were with Chase and then Ben died and your dad was diagnosed with cancer. And I never could tell if you felt the same way. But no regrets, remember?” Before I fully process what he’s saying, Jake gets down on his knee, in the middle of the street, in the middle of the rain, and takes out a small velvet box from the pocket of his coat.

  My hand moves to my chest.

  He opens the box and inside is the same ring I’ve worn every day since we sat in Jake’s idling truck outside my parents’ home. Only he’s offering it to me now, not to make our story more believable but because this is real. Jake is down on one knee in the middle of the street in the pouring rain, and there’s only one reason I know of for a man to get on one knee . . .

  “Marry me.”

  Emotion climbs up my throat. I cup my hand over my mouth to trap the sob inside.

  “I don’t want a wedding, Emma. I want a marriage. To you. Because nothing—and I mean nothing—would make me happier than spending the rest of my life trying to make you happy.” Jake looks up at me through the rain, waiting as his breath escapes in clouds of white.

  Unable to remove my hand from my mouth, unable to show Jake the smile forming beneath my palm, I nod, my heart swelling with so much joy I think it might explode.

  “Yes?”

  I nod again, faster, and remove my hand. “Yes!”

  And just like that, Jake has me in his arms. He twirls me in a circle, then kisses me—a rain-soaked, wonderful kiss with my feet off the ground, a kiss a thousand times better and more passionate than our first kiss in Patty’s. And then we are both laughing, like we can’t believe this moment. Like we can’t believe ourselves.

  “Do you really mean yes—not because of your dad’s bucket list, but because this is what you want?”

  “Jake, this is what I’ve wanted since the second grade.”

  He sets me down and presses his wet forehead against mine. “I am an idiot.”

  “Hey, that’s my fiancé you’re talking about. My real-life, not-fake fiancé.” I stand up on my tiptoes and press my lips against his. It’s a wonderful, giddy, heart-pattering feeling kissing Jake. I’m not sure I’ll ever get over the wonder of it. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d really like that ring back.”

  Jake doesn’t hesitate. As soon as it’s back on my finger, he turns my hand up and kisses my palm. “Don’t take it off again, okay?”

  I shake my head. “Never.”

  Chapter 15

  Lily fixes my veil in the kitchen of the Sawyers’ farmhouse, her eyes alight with all the excitement and happiness a maid of honor should feel for the bride. “Are you ready?”

  I breathe in the beauty of this moment and the messy path that led to it. Our lives
are such a muddled pot of heartache and blessing, loss and triumph, sorrow and joy. I nod and wring my hands, a lump already in my throat. “I think so.”

  Lily opens the door and we step out onto the porch, into the late October air. My father turns around, so handsome in his tuxedo, and a breath of forever passes between us. One I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I dab my knuckle beneath my lashes, a vain attempt to save my makeup.

  I don’t know how much time we have. His tumor is growing every day and his headaches are worsening. We could have two whole months—sixty lifetimes, each encompassed within a single day. Or he could be gone in two weeks. I don’t know how this story will end. But I do know that I can enjoy right now. My father has taught me this. Today, he is here. So I will praise God for today, and trust in his provision for tomorrow.

  He cups my cheek with his palm. “You, my daughter, are too stunning for words.”

  A tear gathers and spills.

  Dad catches it on his thumb, then holds out his arm, and the three of us walk through the yard, beneath a canopy of trees that have not yet lost all their color, toward the rows of white chairs filled with family and friends, and the soothing melody of Lily’s sister playing “Clair de Lune” on her violin. We stop in front of a pair of trees that hide us from view of our guests. Lily gives me a hug, hands me my bouquet of flowers, then joins Liam ahead. He winks at me with a proud smile on his face. Lily takes his arm and they make their way down the aisle. There is a brief pause of anticipation as the violin stops, then starts up again with Canon in D. Everyone stands. The sunlight dapples through the leaves.

  I look up at my dad—the man who has loved and cherished and protected me from the moment I entered this world. “Are you ready?”

  “Emma, I’ve been ready for twenty-seven years.”

  Wrapping my arm tighter around his, I let my father lead me down the aisle. Toward Jake, my groom. The man who will love and cherish and protect me for as long as we both shall live.

  Discussion Questions

  A Brush with Love

  Ginger suffered a tragedy that marked her inside and out. Everyone reacts differently to life events. Was there an event in your life that marked you in some way? Do you relate to how Ginger feels?

  Tom’s family, while Christians, are flawed. He wants to make amends for his father’s mistake. But it’s not always possible to undo what’s been done. What’s the best way to show forgiveness for a wrong? Or to seek redemption?

  Bridgett seems all about herself, doesn’t she? But in the end of the book, she’s at the wedding cheering Ginger on. How do you see this? Did Ginger misunderstand her friendship with Bridgett?

  We often see ourselves through our own wounds. We think that’s how others see us. Does Ginger do this when she’s around the bold and the beautiful people? Around Bridgett?

  Tom is influenced by Edward, a man responsible for bringing him back to town to start a church. Does he allow Edward too much influence? How do we walk in love with one another when we disagree?

  Ginger’s mama, Shana, was looking for help in the church. But her trust was misplaced. How can we love people who confess secrets to us? How can we bring them to truth without making them feel condemned?

  I loved when Ginger was bold enough to walk down the aisle in her dream dress even though it exposed her scars. I actually cried writing that scene. What happened to her that she could brave such a thing?

  Be honest, do you really believe God can change your negative emotions? Because He can. We don’t have to be locked in darkness, despair, depression, and fears. How can you change your thinking to believe you are who He says you are? Ginger did it by confessing she was beautiful.

  What aspects of Christ does Tom demonstrate to Ginger? How can you do the same toward your friends and family?

  If you have scars, inside or out, list one thing you can do to overcome.

  Love in the Details

  Holly and Josh were one another’s first love. Did anyone here marry their first love? Name one thing that you still remember clearly about your first love.

  At its heart, Love in the Details is about the perfect nature of God’s timing. When in your life did you face a disappointment, only to later realize that God’s timing was ultimately best?

  Near the end of the story, Holly realizes that her almost subconscious belief that she’s not enough for Josh is holding her back. We all struggle from time to time with deceptive self-talk that assures us that we’re “not good enough” or “not worthy enough.” When has this most been a stumbling block for you? Share a story of how God has helped you have victory in this area.

  How would you characterize Becky Wade’s writing style? How was it different and/or similar to the style of other writers included in this collection of wedding novellas?

  How is Holly and Josh’s love story a picture of God’s love for us?

  An October Bride

  In the beginning of the story, Emma finds her dad’s bucket list. What are some things you would write on your own bucket list?

  Jake knows what it’s like to live with regret. Do you have any regrets in your life? Have you ever done something out of your comfort zone in order to avoid having regrets?

  Emma saw her and Jake’s “engagement” as a morally gray area. Do you agree? If you were in Emma’s position, would you have done what she did? Of all the characters in An October Bride, who’s reaction to the fake engagement did you relate to the most?

  Halfway through the novel, Emma decides to enter completely into the fantasy world she is currently living in. Have you ever lived in denial about something in your life? What happened to finally make you face reality?

  Emma has a lot of special relationships in this novel—her relationship with Jake, her relationship with Lily, and her relationship with her dad and her mom. Which relationship did you enjoy the most? What are some relationships you have in your own life?

  There are a lot of quirky secondary characters in this story. Which one was your favorite?

  Acknowledgments

  A Brush with Love

  I heard the name Ginger and I knew she didn’t believe she was beautiful. Then I thought of the hero, Tom, and knew his job was to make Ginger see her true beauty.

  I cannot begin to expound God’s faithfulness to me in the winter of 2014. Dropping this idea in the midst of crying out for help and ideas for another book is only one example.

  I turned in the novel and went to a writers’ retreat where I helped mentor eighteen aspiring authors. When the week was over, Susan May Warren, Beth Vogt, and Alena Tauriainen brainstormed A Brush with Love with me, beginning, middle, and end. I actually had enough story for a big novel! Their help and friendship was a blessing to the core of my soul. Another example of God’s faithfulness.

  To my editor, Becky Philpott, you are a dream. A friend. A champion and cheerleader. Thank you for your partnership with not only this novella, but my writing journey. You’re a treasure.

  To Daisy Hutton, publisher extraordinaire, I love the honest conversations we’ve had and how you champion your authors. Thank you for giving me opportunities to do what I love!

  Katie Bond, Elizabeth Hutton, and Karli Jackson, for being a fabulous marketing and editorial team. It’s such a feeling of contentment to know I can email any of you, any time, and get a response. Katie, we’ve been together a lot of years now and it’s more an honor day by day.

  To the rest of the HarperCollins Christian Publishing team, let’s keep writing and publishing for Him. You all are the best.

  To my husband who lives with a writer. He is my hero. God knew what He was doing when He paired us together. I love you, babe!

  To my canine writing partner, Lola, thanks for making me get up out of my chair from time to time. Ha!

  To my writing partner, Susan May Warren, ten years we’ve been doing this biz together. Sometimes face-to-face but mostly phone call to phone call. I shake my head in wonder at how blessed I am to have you in
my life. XO.

  To my hairdresser, Michele Lacy, who’s kept me looking beautiful and young for over twenty-three years. Thanks for your help on this one.

  To my line editor, Jean Bloom, thank you for your time, insight, and help.

  To all of the readers who take the time to curl up with a book I’ve written, thank you! It means more than you’ll ever know. Be blessed!

  Love in the Details

  I’m grateful to Becky Philpott, my editor at Zondervan, for inviting me to participate in this wonderful collection of wedding-themed novellas. Thank you, Becky! You’re kind, outgoing, and a pleasure to work with. I truly appreciate the opportunity you extended to me.

  Many, many thanks to my agent and Love in the Details’ very first reader, Linda Kruger. Your feedback on this novella was extraordinarily helpful, Linda. Oh, how I value your insight and friendship.

  My husband has staunchly believed in my writing since the very first time I ever mentioned to him that I might like to attempt a novel of my own. His hands—on help (making dinners, watching the kids, doing the dishes, and giving me pep talks) made this novella possible. I love you!

  And lastly, to my kids, who (almost) never complain about the hours I spend working. I’m so glad that I get to be your mom. Thank you very, very much for supporting my writing.

  An October Bride

  I’m a wordy person, so when Becky Philpott contacted me about writing a novella for their Year of Weddings series, I was honored but also a little frightened. Novels I could do. Novellas? Not so sure.

  I had no idea that I would have so much fun writing this story! I fell in love with Jake and Emma and the small, quirky town of Mayfair, Wisconsin. I hope readers fall in love too!