Kiss My Asteroid: Galaxa Warriors (Paranormal Dating Agency Book 14)
Page 5
“It’s your head, girl. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She motioned for Teva to pour, watching as Riley puddled onto the couch after one glass, her eyelids drooping.
“Man, you weren’t kidding about that wine. I feel like I have no bones in my legs.” Teva caught the girl’s glass just as it slipped from her hand.
Cheeks flushed, Ivy plopped down beside her and leaned her head on the cushions. “I can’t feel my teeth.”
Henley snorted, taking the carafe to fill her glass a third time. “Lightweights.” She lifted the cut crystal to her lips. “Since everyone is being a Grade A party pooper, it’s obvious we’re not making it to dinner, so I’m going to take a shower and then eat the biggest meal room service can carry. Preferably in bed.” She turned to Teva. “Oh, will my Kindle work here?”
“No, but all you need do is announce what you want to read and it will be provided.”
Henley giggled. “Like something out of the Jetsons.” She turned in various directions before looking back at Teva again. “Which one is my room?”
“Take your pick,” Gerri answered. “Teva and I will see to the others.” She looked at the two snoring girls on the couch and chuckled. “For real, we’re not making it to dinner tonight.”
Teva grinned. “Looks like Sidaii earned two more notches on its belt.”
“Those two are definitely down for the count and that one—” she gestured to Henley staggering toward the bedroom. “Is not far behind.”
“I wouldn’t worry, Ms. Wilder. The king knew you might be tired from your journey and wasn’t really expecting you tonight. He’s arranged a breakfast tomorrow morning in the gardens for you and your guests. By then, Miss Cassie and Mr. Talen will have arrived.”
“Uhm, can I have a larsh double sheeseburger with bacon and frensh fries sent up asap?” Henley hiccupped. “Oh, and a coke or whatever the alien equiv—” She burped, stumbling on the carpet. “Damn shoooos,” she slurred, giggling.
“Oh boy,” Gerri murmured.
“The wine will have her passed out just like her friends in no time. I’ll keep an eye on her, Ms. Wilder.”
“No, honey, you’ve done enough. I’ll take care of getting them settled.” She shooed the girl toward the door. “Go eat. You can check on my ducklings later to make sure they’re all in a row.”
The girl hesitated. “What about you?”
She shrugged. “I’m in no hurry. Have a tray sent up for me once you’re done with your dinner.”
6
“Oh my God, my mouth tastes like my tongue grew hair.” Riley grimaced, rolling from the couch to the floor. “Ouch!”
“At least you can taste. Mine mouth feels like I ate cement.” Ivy stretched her jaw, sticking her tongue out.
“We never made it to bed, did we?”
Ivy looked at her on the floor. “Considering you’re on the ground and we’re both in the same clothes from yesterday, I’d vote no.”
“Ugh, someone kill me, please!”
Both girls hissed at the loud complaint. “For God's sake, Henley, stop yelling.” Cringing, Riley covered her ears.
“Some friends. I should be yelling the house down. Which one of you left me on the bathroom floor?” Henley shuffled from the bedroom door into the living room, one hand shoved into her snarled hair.
Ivy sat up with a wince. “Oh boy. You look worse than I feel and I would’ve said that was impossible.” She threw a throw decorative pillow at Riley. “Look. Your buddy is doing the Walking Dead. Literally.”
Riley struggled to sit up. “Oh. My. God. Hen! What happened?”
“What do you think? Greedy Gus over there is paying the price for swigging three glasses of that alien poison they pretend is wine.” Ivy flinched with the sarcastic effort.
“Hen, why did you sleep on the floor in the bathroom?”
The tall woman looked at her friend, confused. “Did I?”
She nodded. “I would assume, yes, or how the hell else would you end up with grid marks on your face?”
“Not to mention your drool-plastered hair to the side of your cheek,” Ivy added.
Henley scuffed her feet to the wall mirror and cringed. “Eew, now, for real, I’m going to be sick. I thought I dreamed it.”
“Dreamed that you fell asleep on the tile?”
She nodded. “Yeah, and that Teva and Ms. Wilder tried to move me, but gave up.”
“Unfortunately, love, that was no dream.” Gerri walked in carrying a carafe of a greenish-brown liquid and three glasses. “You’re quite the fighter, Henley. In fact, you gave Teva a black eye.”
Henley groaned. “Please tell me she’s okay.”
Gerri smirked. “She is, or at least she will be. Lucky for you, the level of medical know-how on Nova Aurora far exceeds what we have on Earth. She’ll be as right as rain and her face back to its porcelain perfection by morning. In the meantime, we’re on our own until she mends.” She put the carafe down and then looked at her watch. “Breakfast is in one hour. We’re expected, so you girls need to pull yourselves together. Oh, and Ivy, I left something for you in your room. It’s a surprise.” She clicked the inside of her cheek. “Make sure you read the instructions.”
Gesturing toward the coffee table, Gerri nodded to them. “I’ve also brought something to clear your heads and settle your stomachs. It’s for all of you, so I suggest you don’t skip it. Hair of the dog and all.”
Ivy scooted toward the end of the couch to pull the tray closer. “It looks like ocean sludge.”
“Yes, because that’s what I bring all my guests who get drunk their first night in port. Sludge.” The wry retort made Ivy chuckle and wince at the same time.
Henley slumped onto the couch beside her and picked up the bottle, swirling the carafe in her hand. “It’s the color of baby shit.”
“Sludge. Baby shit. Call it all the names you want. Just drink it. I will not be embarrassed with you three green at the gills and ready to puke in your porridge. I warned to go easy on the Sidaii.”
“We did,” Riley said, struggling onto the couch from the floor. “She’s the one who should have her head in the toilet.”
Gerri laughed. “And she did. A lot.”
“Will this really work?” Henley asked
“Forever the skeptic. Yes, it works. For you especially.” Gerri tapped her watch. “One hour, girls. I’ll be back for you then.”
Ivy got up from the sofa with another wince. “Wait? Aren’t you here in the suite with us?”
“Nope. I visit so often, I have my own apartment in the palace.” Gerri gave them a quick salute. “One hour.”
Ivy stared at the nasty liquid in the fancy curved bottle. “Gimme that.” She held out her hand. “Every muscle in my body hurts and my bones are vibrating. Anything’s better than that.”
She took the carafe from Henley and opened the top, her nose wrinkling at the smell. “Oh my God, if this tastes worse than it smells, we’re doomed.”
“Don’t do it, Ivy.” Henley shook her head. “It’s got to be some kind of vomit-producing solution.”
She snorted. “From what Gerri just said, it’s the Sidaii that’s the ultimate in vomit producing.” Ivy shook her head. “Besides, I trust Gerri.”
“Really? She didn’t stop Teva from pouring the wine in the first place,” Riley shot back.
“True, but anything’s better than the way I feel now.” Ivy poured a small amount into a clean glass and lifted it toward her lips. “Bottoms up.”
She drained the cup, gagging as she forced the foul stuff down. Dropping the cup on the white carpet, she didn’t care if the horrible stuff dripped onto the rug. “Ugh! That was the worst thing I’ve ever had in my mouth.” She slumped onto the couch and dragged the back of her hand across her lips.
Henley took the carafe next. “In high school, I once went down on this guy whose balls smelled like week-old fish. Charlie Fin was his name. Ironic, now that I think about it.”
Ivy looked at Riley
and burst out laughing. “Couldn’t you smell him the minute he dropped his tighty whities?” She could barely get the words out.
“He was a football player and it happened right after practice. Hey, we’ve all done stupid stuff.” Henley shrugged. “He used to call me Amazon Queen, and not in a good way. He made gorilla noises every time I passed him in the hallway. I knew he was dying to see what it was like to fuck a big girl like me and the opportunity was the sweetest get-even ever.”
“How?”
She laughed. “Let’s just say Charlie Fin was known as Charlie Tuna for the rest of senior year. Totally worth the bottle of Listerine I chugged afterward.”
“Oh. My. GOD! Henley, you are my hero!” Ivy guffawed. “Big girls get a bad rap at every turn, so brava! If you can stand going down on that, then you can certainly handle this.” She picked up the bottle and poured, handing her new friend a full glass. “Like I said, bottoms up.”
With a grimace and a plugged nose, Henley drained the cup before shoving it back in Ivy’s hand with a shiver. “Nope. Definitely worse than Charlie Tuna balls.”
Riley bent over laughing and the other two eyed her dark springy curls. “You’re next, Ri. Tick tock,” Ivy said, tapping her bare wrist.
She grabbed the carafe off the table and gave Henley a look. “So, I’m a lightweight, huh?” Riley lifted the rim to her lips. “Here’s baby shit in your eye.” She tipped the bottle straight up and drank, choking a little before slamming the carafe down on the table.
Burping, her hand flew to her mouth, but then she exhaled, relieved. “You know, I actually feel better,” she said, wiping her mouth. “Of course, I drank the least so I’m not surprised.”
Ivy stood, fingers probing her temple. “Me, too. I feel almost normal.” She looked at Henley. “You can’t possibly feel better yet, not with the way you chugged that wine.”
“I do actually, but a hot shower will finish the trick. How long do we have?”
Riley shrugged. “I don’t know, but I would guess about forty-five minutes.”
Ivy held her hands out to both ladies to help them up from the sofa. “Let’s do this, then. Dress for success, right?”
7
Ivy found her luggage in the bedroom just as they were told. She dug through her suitcase for her beauty products only to find her toiletry bag had imploded during transport. Damn. Now what?
She purposely dismissed the untouched bed, ignoring the dressing table mirror as she walked into the luxurious bathroom. It was as large and as filled with bells and whistles as her master bath at home. Body sprays, rain head, steam, music, everything you could think of and more.
“Okay, mood room, what do I do now? My toiletries didn’t survive the warp jump.” Only half serious, she mumbled to herself when a hidden drawer in the tile slid open with every kind of product she could imagine.
“Uhm, thank you.” She scanned the ceiling. “I hope to fuck I’m not on some kind of closed-circuit TV.”
With a wicked smirk, she shimmied out of her top and then her leggings, humming the stripper theme song. She kicked her clothes to the corner and then strutted to turn on the shower, slipping behind the glass door with a wiggle. “I hope that gave you an eyeful!” she yelled to the ceiling again.
Feeling better, she did a quick lather and rinse and squeezed out her hair. The shower turned off automatically the moment she touched the heated towel on the rack. She wrapped the big thirsty terrycloth around her body and tucked the edges before padding into the bedroom.
Gerri said the temperature fluctuated here, yet she had no idea whether she meant hot or cold. “Mood room, what kind of day is it? Flip flops or boots?” She waited. Nothing.
“Oh, so now you clam up? My pre-shower dance too much for you? If I freeze today, I’m blaming you.”
In that moment, she glanced down to find her flip flops neatly placed in front of the dresser. She whirled around to her suitcase, but the bag was still the way she left it. “Uhm, sorry. I didn’t mean to be so rude.”
Mumbling to herself again, she lifted her suitcase top and took out a flowing high-low skirt and bright tank top. She ran a comb through her honey-colored hair and then pulled it into one side, letting the waterfall curls fall over her shoulder.
She had no makeup as everything oozed into a gooey mess inside her bag, so she smoothed a little extraterrestrial face cream over her lightly tanned skin. At least in that department she’d won the lottery. Good skin. She was full-figured, but then again, all the women in her family were, including Cassie. Ivy smiled thinking about her cousin. It was only a matter of minutes until she’d see her again. She glanced at her face in the dresser mirror, running her fingers under her gray eyes and the tiny fine lines she’d noticed there. Except they weren’t. Not anymore.
Huh. Maybe there were more perks to this interstellar travel than Gerri let on. Reverse aging and hot hunky men who seem to like curvy women. Win-win. She looked at her eyes again. They were the same shade of dove gray as Cassie’s. Shaking her head, she tried to imagine what her cousin looked like now, all round and preggers. She put the comb on the dresser top and turned on her heel. It was time to find out.
Or maybe not.
As she turned, Ivy caught Gerri’s weird laptop in the corner of her eye. The communicator was sitting on the dresser directly in front of the oversized bed. Only problem, it wasn’t there a moment ago. The odd metallic device was connected to the flat screen TV on the wall, only the unit wasn’t a television at all, more like a permanent part of the room’s structure. Ivy strode toward the note taped to the laptop’s dark metal case and unpeeled it from the screen.
Surprise! When my communicator unit beeps, swipe your hand over the three right bumps in the glass screen. Keep an open mind, Ivy. Remember our conversation about sexbots and satisfaction? Enjoy!
Gerri~
P.S. Oh, they’re going to ask for me. Ignore it. This is all about you.
XOXO
She sat on the edge of the bed, scanning the note again. She ran one hand over her side ponytail. What the hell did the old woman do?
Before she could think, the screen beeped, the staccato sound making her jump. Ivy flicked her gaze to the note again and then toward the screen, hesitating. “Fuck it. Don’t be a puss, Ivy.”
Her personal pep talk hung in the air as she pushed herself up from the bed, dropping the note to the floor. “Instead of being a puss, let whoever or whatever is on the other end work your puss for you. Gerri said satisfaction, so let’s give the woman her money’s worth.”
The room changed color again, only this time it did so from floor to ceiling. Ivy glanced at the spreading gradient. Dusky rose into a sultry crimson. The lights dimmed and she smirked to herself as she swiped the three glass orbs on the screen.
The beeping pulse stopped.
“Communication active,” a computerized voice announced.
Bluish-silver light formed on the large flat screen. They circled in thickness and intensity and Ivy jumped back toward the footboard as it fused to a dense beam and shot toward the floor between the wall and the bed.
A cylinder of light sprang from the floor and inside the column was an absolutely gorgeous man. He lifted his eyes to her and took in her full length, towel and damp hair included.
“I’m looking for Gerri Wilder. I was informed she asked me to call.”
His voice was deep with a sexy resonance. God, he looked so lifelike standing there, Ivy wanted to reach out and run her palms down the hard planes of his chest. Was his dark hair as thick in real life?
Oh, right. There was nothing real about him. He was a computer program. But damn, he was hot!
She eyed the hologram. “Gerri may have asked you to call, but your call was meant for me.”
“You?” the deep voice asked.
Ivy nodded then lifted her hand, swirling it in a circle. “Could you turn for me? In a circle, please.”
“I don’t think you understand. I’m Van—”
“Goodies?”
She nodded, her brows knotting. “I guess you’re not programmed for Earth accents or slang. What I mean is you have on too many clothes. I want to see you in the flesh. I know you’re a hologram and don’t really have flesh, but you get my meaning.”
The man hesitated for a second, but a delicious smirk graced his lips full of mischief and he peeled his shirt from his shoulders.
“Oh my, you look good enough to lick. Whoever programmed you gets a gold star.” She sat on the edge of the bed. “Now the rest.”
He inclined his head. “I like this game. Was this your intention all along?”
She wet her bottom lip and the man’s eyes followed the swipe of her tongue as he stripped out of his drawstring pants. He stood naked, utterly delicious, and completely erect.
“That tongue of yours looks like it wants to work this deep and hard,” he said, wrapping his hand around his shaft. With slow movements, he caressed the hard length, rubbing his palm over a thick head. “Mmmm, I can imagine the feel of your mouth.”
His eyes found hers as he stroked his cock. “Let me see you, love. Drop your towel.”
Ivy planted the edge of her ass on the bed and unwrapped the terrycloth from her body, letting it fall to either side.
“Stroke yourself. I want to watch your slick juices coat your fingers as you dip them deep. Lick your hand and then spread your pussy wide. I want to see your wet folds. That’s it. Slip your fingers inside, one by one, and then circle your clit with your thumb. Imagine my hands and my mouth licking you clean, sucking your hard nub.”
Ivy sucked in a breath. His voice was so naturally commanding, the sound nearly made her come. She leaned back, her legs spread wider than she ever dared. Her free hand cupped her breast and she squeezed the full weight, grazing her nipple. She gasped.
“You’re so close, love. I can see the flush on your beautiful skin. If I could, I’d sink my cock into that pretty wet slit and ride you hard. Fist yourself. Take it all like you’re taking me.”