The Actor

by Maya Brooks

  Getting some sleep was a huge relief, even if it came synthetically from a bottle of ZZZQuil.

  Was I as stuck in my own way of thinking and my own problems as Marc is?

  Working wasn’t usually on her top list of things to do, but now it seemed a respite from worries. Her boss had a thing about cell phones and she kept it close, but hidden under a sheet of paper. If it made any noise besides claiming it needed a charge, she wanted to know.

  When Saturday came and the office was closed, she roamed from window to window staring out. She itched for action, and her inability to do something drove her to the brink of sanity. When was this rescue mission supposed to take place?

  Turning the TV on didn’t alleviate her restlessness, and neither did looking in the fridge.

  Maybe I should go to the mall. See some people, maybe buy a new shirt.

  She hadn’t told anyone except Heather about Marc and his troubles, and she stayed away from her friends so they wouldn’t realize something was wrong. She had been alone for too long, and spending a day at the mall surrounded by strangers might not be too bad. Her feet headed for the front door before she even knew she’d made up her mind.

  The apartment buildings were low but many, and people were always coming and going. Fumbling with the keys, she waved automatically to a neighbor.

  A taxi pulled up close to her front door as she locked, and she didn’t even look.

  The lady upstairs had many visitors, and it wasn’t any of her business.

  The cab was between her and her car, so she couldn’t help seeing it when she took a couple of steps away from the door. The passenger side opened, and her fingers grew weak, losing their grip on her purse as a well-known shape stepped out.

  It can’t be, it’s not possible. What is he doing here?

  Her heart stopped beating and she forced stale air out of her lungs. It must be an illusion, her mind playing a prank on her.

  Marc turned towards her, and the paralysis released its grip. She ran the few steps separating them and threw her arms around him. His warm body felt real enough, but she still wasn’t sure until he spoke.

  “I thought I’d drop by to see you, I hope you don’t mind.”

  “Oh my God, I thought you were dead.”

  He murmured, “Almost,” and held her tighter.

  The cab driver cleared his throat and peeked out the passenger door. “So, I take it this is where you wanted to go?”

  Marc released his grip on her.

  “If this is a bad time or something, I’ll have him take me to a hotel.”

  “Don’t be silly. You’re staying here with me.”

  She stared at his face when he paid the fare.

  What happened to you?

  His skin was almost gray, and he had dark rings under his eyes. Fine lines had deepened into real wrinkles since she last saw him.

  Maybe he was too drunk and forgot to get Botoxed.

  No. There was more to it than that.

  He didn’t even have a suitcase, just a plastic bag from an airport store. If he was running away, he could certainly have gone to worse places than her.

  It was the first time they met since the convention, and it was a bit strange to see him in real life. They spent so many days and nights together on the phone or the computer, but meeting face to face made her shy. What could she say?

  Marc just stood there, watching the taxi drive away.

  Take command of the situation. Do something. What would Heather do?

  Thinking of her colleague gave her the strength to move. She tucked her hand into his and led him to the front door.

  “It’s not much, but it’s home.”

  Her apartment was small and she could hear the neighbors walk upstairs, but it was cozy. Marc glanced around and the smile playing on his lips seemed almost real.

  “I love it.”

  “Want something to eat? I have chicken lasagna.”

  “That would be amazing.”

  Marc ate, and fell asleep on her sofa. She tiptoed around not to wake him, and texted Heather.

  “You’ll never believe who just walked in”

  The answer came promptly.

  “That’s great! =)”

  She wanted to caress his hair or curl up next to him, but he needed rest too much to be disturbed.

  Congratulations. I think life just took another abrupt turn.

  Whatever changes might come weren’t important; he was alive, and in her home. There were surely problems brewing on the horizon, but nothing worthy of worry at the moment.

  Marc didn’t stir until late afternoon, and he investigated her home, poking around in everything.

  Ouch, I hope I dusted under there some time this century.

  “You have games. I bet you ten bucks I can still beat you at Scrabble.”

  Really? You came all this way to play board games? Alright, I guess.

  “Real life Scrabble, with no computer cheats? Bring it on.”

  The idea was much better than it appeared at first glance; a well-known, neutral activity that kept them both from brooding. For someone looking on the verge of death, he was hard to beat.

  The game took almost two hours.

  Marc chuckled. “Now I owe you money, and I’m hungry.”

  When did you eat last before you came here? Better not ask…

  “We can order Chinese.”

  “That would be fantastic.”

  He was finding his footing, and when the food arrived he stole shrimps from her plate and made her giggle. He didn’t exactly return to the person she knew, but was more like himself.

  When all the food was gone, he leaned back and patted his stomach.

  “I needed that.”

  Why are you here? I’d love to think you came just to hang out with me, but that’s not it. Are you hiding?

  Heather’s words echoed in her mind. “Maybe you can put Pinocchio back together.”

  This would take a gentle touch. She reached over the table to take his hand.

  “I’m so happy you’re here, I’ve been more worried for you than you can imagine.”

  He sighed, but didn’t answer.

  “If you don’t want to tell me, that’s okay, but I’m dying to know what happened. Why are you here?”

  *****

  Marc pulled his hands over his face and leaned his elbows against the table.

  He hardly knew this woman, but she was still the only one he trusted, and he was too ashamed to tell the truth.

  I could tell her I don’t want to talk about it. She’d accept that.

  Lying was tempting, but not a real option.

  “I was at this party a little over a week ago, you remember. I must have been driving you crazy. I know you told me to go home…”

  I should have kept you on the phone, asked you to talk me out of there, but I thought I could do it on my own.

  She didn’t comment, and he plunged in.

  “The next time I woke up, I was in the hospital. There were tubes sticking out of my fucking nose. My wife stopped by and yelled that even if you hear about stars dying from overdoses on TV, it wasn’t supposed to be me. I didn’t get it. I had no idea what happened. I still don’t know.”

  He leaned back in the chair and kept his eyes locked on a point on the table, struggling to regain some self-control.

  “When I got out of there, no one was interested in picking me up. I took a taxi home and the house was empty. They all hated my guts anyway.”

  Being all alone was unbearable, and the desperation turned into a black hole, feeding on him from the inside.

  Laura still said nothing, but she reached her hand out to him again, and he took it.

  Her touch didn’t help him break through the fog that surrounded the last week or so, but it gave him the courage to speak.

  “I got drunk, and lost… another three days. When I woke up I saw a text from you and it seemed like a sign. I walked out of the house, hitch-hiked to the airport, and now I
’m here.”

  “So, that’s why you came with nothing but a toothbrush in a plastic bag.”

  If I stayed alone in the house for five more minutes I’d start drinking again.

  “Yes… I was afraid of staying long enough to pack anything. I just… left. Guess I’ll have to go shopping.”

  Laura squeezed his hand, but he still couldn’t make himself meet her eyes. He expected her to tell him to leave. She was much too sensible a person to want anything to do with his mess.

  “I don’t know what to do. I can’t live like this anymore.”

  His entire life had become an act. His kids saw him as an ass, which he probably was, and when he stopped acting in front of his wife, she hated him too.

  Coming here might have been a mistake, but I’m grasping at straws, and you’re the last one.

  She rose and moved over to his side of the table, wrapping her arms around him. He pressed his face against her belly, and she ran her hands over his hair. What a heavenly feeling to have someone touch him, comforting, without demanding anything in return.

  “Not counting today, when’s the last time you slept?”

  Marc didn’t lift his head, but shook it a little.

  “I don’t know.”

  He couldn’t remember the last time he went to bed and to sleep in the evening like normal people. It must have been weeks earlier.

  “Let’s go to bed and watch TV, or a movie, or something.”

  It wasn’t late, it was hardly evening, but it was still a much better idea than anything he could come up with.

  “Okay.”

  She took his hand and led him through the apartment. Something next to the TV caught his attention and he picked up a DVD-cover. As tired and miserable as he was, he could barely stifle a laugh.

  “Babe, really?”

  She tried to snatch it away from him, but it didn’t do her any good. He was much too tall and fast for her to be able to get it, and he held it just out of reach. She tried to pout, but he could see her mouth twitch.

  “You’re not supposed to see that.”

  This movie is horrible.

  He shook his head and made a taunting sound.

  “You, my dear, need to develop a better taste when it comes to entertainment.”

  Laura crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out at him.

  “I only watch them when I feel lonely and miss you. Besides, that one’s pretty good.”

  Her words made him smile, and he surrendered the cover.

  “Does that mean you missed me? Since you have these next to the TV? I bet the disk is even in the player.”

  She smacked him over the arm.

  “Yes. Yes, I missed you. It’s been horrible without you. There, you made me say it.”

  He wrapped his arms around her waist and swept her up, too quick for her to react.

  Coming here wasn’t a mistake. It was the best decision of his life.

  Possibly the only good decision of his life.

  Her face was so close their noses almost touched and he waited for a few seconds, prolonging the sweet moment. Then, he allowed himself to close the gap between them and press his lips against hers. She tasted just as sweet as he remembered.

  He carried her the short way over to the bed and dropped her down on it, making her giggle. What a sweet sound.

  Laura turned on the TV and flipped channels until she found a movie. It was early and he should probably try to watch it with her, but drifted off to a world of dreams as soon as he relaxed. Feeling her weight and warmth in his arms was more comforting than any drug could ever be.

  It was morning when he woke up again, and very nice to know exactly where he was, as well as the name of the woman sleeping next to him.

  It was also pleasant, but strange, not to be hung-over.

  Chapter Six

  Marc made breakfast, feeling clumsy in the small space.

  A door in the hallway revealed a washing machine, but Laura’s laughter interrupted him before he could tuck his clothes into it.

  “What?”

  She shook her head.

  “Nothing. You’re… adorable.”

  Oh yes, that…

  He looked down at himself and grinned at her pink robe. It barely reached below his buttocks, and almost reached around him, leaving his chest bare.

  “That’s what I get for running away from home.”

  The clothes disappeared from his hands and she read the labels with a frown.

  “You can do the shirt, but the pants and blazer need dry-cleaning.”

  “What’ll happen if I run them anyway?”

  “They might become more my size than yours.”

  Seeing he only had one pair of pants that might be a problem. He didn’t want to pull them back on, but there were few other options.

  “Do you have a men’s clothing store that delivers?”

  The corners of her mouth twitched.

  “I have no idea. Google. Or we can go to the mall.”

  He put his hands on her hips and inched her closer.

  “Do people still do that?”

  “Mm-hm.”

  “I made French toast.”

  “I thought something smelled good.”

  Her lips were too close and too tempting. He had to kiss her.

  Once they reached the mall, he lifted an eyebrow at most of the stores. Did people really wear these things?

  Oh boy I’m spoiled.

  Laura crossed her arms over her chest.

  “I never shop for men. I don’t know what you want. If you can’t be more specific, you get to wear this.”

  She nodded towards a plaid green and orange shirt that would probably glow in the dark.

  If I wear that, stray dogs will start attacking, thinking I’m an alien invader.

  “Alright, I get the point.”

  All of a sudden, he didn’t feel so good. A drop of cold sweat trickled down his forehead, and the store was much too small. People were crowding in everywhere.

  Keep it together.

  “Is there a food court? Let’s go get some coffee or something.”

  Laura rested her hand on his shoulder.

  “Are you okay?”

  Sure. I just really want a drink, and maybe a little something more. Or a lot.

  “I’ll be fine. Let’s get out of here for a few.”

  Even when walking side by side, she seemed too far away and he reached for her hand. She rewarded the effort with a smile making him want to rip her clothes off.

  Down boy, this isn’t a good time.

  A piercing female voice solved the problem.

  “Laura? Hey guys, it’s Laura!”

  She whispered, “Crap. I’m not up to that.”

  A small group of young women hurried towards them, and one hollered, “Oh my goodness what a hunk.”

  Seriously? I feel like a bum. This beard stubble itches like a mother… I need to buy a razor or something.

  Three women flocked around them.

  They look like they want to poke me to see if I’m real. Too funny.

  The panic attack from the clothing store had passed, and he made sure to be his most charming self, putting a hand on the small of Laura’s back. She glanced up at him, and the look in her eyes made him want to take down the moon for her. It might be an unpractical gift, but if she asked for it, he would try.

  One of the girls purred, “So, is this the reason you’ve been invisible for the last few months?”

  Marc’s mouth twitched.

  “My bad.”

  Maybe not in the way they imagined, but it was his fault. Questions rained over them.

  “Where did you meet?”

  “How long have you been together?”

  “Where do you come from?”

  “What do you work with?”

  “Oh wow, your arms are huge, how much do you work out?”

  “Laura, why haven’t you told us?”

  “She’s clearly been hiding him fro
m us, wanting him all to herself.”

  He pushed her in front of him and rubbed her shoulders. When there was a pause long enough to get a word in, he said, “Laura means everything to me. Without her, I’d die.”

  And I mean that literally.

  “Oooh, he’s adorable!”

  “Are there any more just like him?”

  I bet you wouldn’t say that if you knew what hell I put her through.

  “We were going for coffee. Want to join us?”

  Two girls shook their heads and the third nodded.

  I think I’ll call them A, B, and C. Or would it be more appropriate to number them? 1, 2, and 3?

  At least he felt no urge to get their pants off, thank heavens. Monogamy was never one of his talents, but maybe Laura was all the woman little Marc downstairs needed?

  What if I would only have sex with her, for the rest of my life? Whoa, scary.

  Girl one nudged girl three. “No… Can’t you see they want to be alone?”

  Girl two said, “We’ll catch up later.”

  They disappeared, waving, and he wrapped his arm around Laura’s shoulders.

  “See, that wasn’t so bad.”

  “Thanks to you.”

  They returned home with a fair amount of clothes and things for him.

  I can’t believe I already think of this as home.

  Hiding like this might be cowardice, but it was a relief to be away from everyone he knew, and from all the pressure. He didn’t even want a drink all that bad.

  They spent the afternoon on her little porch, playing games and talking about everything and nothing. They cooked together, watched movies that weren’t his, and had a good time.

  “Are you… Going to work tomorrow?”

  He struggled not to show how much the thought stressed him out.

  “I can call in sick for a couple of days, if you want company. I’m never sick so I have time in my account.”

  “You’d do that for me?”

  “Of course.”

  *****

  Marc did pretty well as long as Laura was home.

  She kept him distracted, and every time dark moods or cravings threatened to get the better of him, she said or did something so unexpected it rocked him back to the present.

  That woman has to be psychic.

  When Wednesday came, she said, “I should probably go to work tomorrow, but it’s just two days until the weekend.”