by Maya Brooks
“Why are you still here? Get out.”
Oh, spot on, was it?
“It doesn’t work like that anymore.”
“Get out!”
“Don’t you want to see your room? I mean, stay here all you want, but it’s gonna be pretty damn uncomfortable to sleep on the floor.”
“Fine.”
The girl got to her feet, seemingly carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
I hope she likes it, well I hope she doesn’t hate it. I think it’s so cool, but I’m not fourteen...
She led the way down the hall, and Alannah dragged her oversized bag behind her.
“I hate my mom too.”
“Why?”
“For dumping me here. I said I wanted to go, that doesn’t mean I wanted to go. What the fuck.”
At least she’s honest.
Laura shrugged.
“I celebrated when my parents divorced. I hated my dad. He didn’t drink or cheat or do drugs, but he beat us and locked us up.”
“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”
“Not at all. I’m just making conversation. Here. Your brother’s is next door, in case he ever shows up.”
The door opened to a large, bright, and modern room. Alannah’s face filled with a reluctant smile.
“Wow. You did this for me?”
“Yes. If you still want your old room you can have it, but I think this one turned out kinda nice.”
Should I leave? Give her some space?
Alannah dumped her bag on the floor and sat down on the edge of the bed.
“You know my dad is a hypocrite?”
Laura lifted an eyebrow.
“He won’t let me do anything fun. He can stagger around all high and drunk all fucking day, but if I do something it’s the end of the world.”
Oh you poor girl. Poor family.
Laura wanted to pinch the bridge of her nose, but this wasn’t a time to show weakness.
“First of all, there’s a new rule in this house. No drugs of any kind. It goes for your dad, for you, and for everyone else who enters.”
The girl looked interested.
You’re not used to having rules, are you?
“Besides, you’ve seen what it does to him. He knows what it does to him. Why would he wish that on anyone he loves?”
“Do you have rules for fucking?”
Laura shrugged. “Use a condom.”
“Aren’t you gonna yell at me for swearing?”
“Why? You’re not five. If you want to be vulgar, that’s up to you. Look... You don’t have to like me, you have every right to hate me, but while you’re here it would be helpful if you could at least pretend to tolerate your father. It would mean a lot to him.” She turned to leave.
“Wait.”
Laura paused and lifted an eyebrow. The girl’s eyes darted over to her.
“Why did you do this for me?”
“I love your dad. I mean, I really love your dad. You’re everything to him, he’s been dreaming of seeing you again. If you’re that important to him, you’re important to me too.”
“But you don’t know me, and I hate you.”
It didn’t sound convincing.
“That’s fine. You can hate me all you want.”
She turned to leave again and Alannah bounced to her feet.
“Where are you going?”
“I was gonna have a cup of coffee. You can come if you want.”
When they passed the living room, Laura glanced into Marc’s study. He sat by his desk, resting his forehead in his palm.
She whispered, “You could ask him to come.”
Something shifted over Alannah’s face.
Is that fear?
“What if he’s drunk? Or high?”
Kids know if you lie. Be honest.
“That scares me too, but I don’t think he is.”
“How do you put up with it?”
“Everyone has a weakness. When life fell apart around your dad, he faced problems bigger than him, and he didn’t know how to cope. He’s happier now. He still falls sometimes, but he can’t help that. I’m not perfect ether. No one is.”
“Come with me.”
Laura nodded and followed the girl to the open door.
“Dad?”
Marc glanced up. He looked tired, but smiled.
“What is it, sweetie?”
“We were gonna... have some coffee. Wanna come?”
“I’d like that very much.”
Sitting around the kitchen table seemed almost normal.
We might be a weird family, but I think we’re actually turning into a family.
Alannah turned her mug around and around.
I don’t think she likes coffee.
“Dad…”
Marc nodded and Laura tried to blend in with the background. How long since they’d talked? They might need time without her around, but if she rose up she might break the spell making the girl speak.
I hope she’s not really afraid of him. That would be so sad.
“I… I’m sorry I said I hate you.”
“It’s okay.”
“Would you guys mind if I stay here for a while?”
She’s including me in the decision? That’s so sweet.
“Of course you can. This is your home too.”
Oh crap, Imma have to drive her to school and stuff, aren’t I?
Alannah fixed her eyes on Laura and attempted to smile.
She has Marc’s eyes. Maybe I can learn to love her.
“I don’t really hate you either.”
Her eyes darted between them.
“I wish you could have straightened up for mom, but I’m happy to see you happy… and if it has to be someone, she’s not too bad.”
She’s happy to see him, happy, and I’m not too bad. Not too shabby for a Sunday afternoon.
Late at night, Laura rested in Marc’s arms.
“Thank you for letting her stay here. Is it okay?”
What do you mean? She’s your daughter and it’s your house.
“Of course it’s okay. She’s a part of you. We’ll figure it out.”
I guess we’re three now.
Chapter Fifteen
One day, Marc came home with his arms filled with roses. He grinned, making Laura’s heart take a leap.
Anyone else would look like an idiot in purple sunglasses. When he puts them on, it’s sexy.
“Happy anniversary. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me.”
What?
He must have seen her blank face.
“Today, one year ago, you stopped by my table and changed my life.”
Was that today? How did he remember?
Alannah came out of her room to see what was going on.
“Oh wow, dad. Did you buy the whole store?”
His eyes glittered.
“Naah, they had carnations too and I don’t care much for those. Unless you’re dreaming of becoming a florist? I can go back and buy it.”
He winked and Alannah shook her head.
“What do you lovely ladies say about roller-skating and ice cream?”
Roller-skating? Are you crazy? It’s bad enough on ice, and now you want to do it on wheels.
The girl beamed.
“Wha’cha say we pick up Aidan and make it a family day?”
She ran off to get a phone, and Marc put the flowers down so he could pull Laura close. When she glanced into his eyes, all fear of shoes on wheels disappeared. His arms around her made her melt, and she’d happily agree to jump off a cliff if he asked her. She had gone to get an autograph, and ended up with a family and a new life.
“I’m blessed.”
As expected, everyone was really good at roller-skating except her, and Aidan became king of the rink. Still, when Marc held her up with an arm around her waist and Alannah held her hand it wasn’t bad.
Laura had expected living with a teenager would be hard, but the girl had
matured. Marc fought a valiant battle to stay sober, and Alannah made it easier; now he did it for both of them.
She helped Laura too. Now, when they were over the initial awkwardness and anger, she spent time driving, picking up, shopping clothes, doing her own homework, and helping Alannah with hers. It filled the days when Marc was at work.
Bill often came by and cursed so much Laura wanted to hold her ears. She couldn’t figure out why and made a point of staying out of the way. One day she had to pass through the living room when the men were in the study, and she saw Alannah pressed against the wall just outside.
She nodded towards the kitchen.
“Spying isn’t nice.”
“I know, but it’s interesting. C’mon, you want to know too.”
“No I don’t.”
Alannah lifted an eyebrow, clearly neither convinced nor impressed. It was a good time to be honest.
“Okay, I’m dying of curiosity.”
“That’s what I thought. Dad is turning down job offers.”
Interesting.
“Maybe he doesn’t want them.“
That night, lying next to him in bed, she asked, “Bill’s been around a lot. He seems kinda mad.”
She could feel Marc shrug.
“He wants me to go places you can’t follow. I’m not going off filming on my own.”
The mere thought of him leaving made her stomach fill with ice. She couldn’t tell him that.
“I appreciate the notion, but don’t let me hold you back.”
“No… I can’t succumb to temptation if I stay away from it. If I’m travelling, you’re going with me. The plan might not get me through the rest of my life, but for now it’s the best I have.”
I don’t know what to say.
She lay staring up at the ceiling for a long time. How did she of all people become a lifeline for someone like him? She wanted to ask if he still thought he was shattered and losing his own personality, but he slept, and it wasn’t the best subject of discussion anyway. If he had forgotten about it, nothing good would come from reminding him.
The next day, Lawrence called.
“Laura, how long have you been in the country?”
“I don’t know…”
“Look in your passport.”
She moseyed over to the dresser and pulled it out. “It says… Oh crap.”
“I tried to remember the first day we met. You have to leave tomorrow, don’t you?”
Crap, crap, crap, crap.
“What happens if I just stay?”
She could almost hear him shrug.
“Probably nothing, but if you hop across the border and come back you won’t have to find out.”
It shouldn’t be this difficult.
“Can I apply to have the time extended?”
“Sure, if we thought about this a month ago. I’ll call Marc, maybe you can fly to New York and go sightseeing or something.”
I don’t want to go sightseeing.
When the lawyer hung up, she tossed the phone on the bed.
“Bloody bureaucratic hell why does everything have to be so fucking complicated?”
Alannah’s face peeked in.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes. No. I guess… I think I’ll have to leave for a couple of days.”
The girl pulled a hand through her hair and looked more nine than fourteen.
“Maybe… Would you drive me to my mom’s and pick me up when you get back? Or maybe I could stay at Madeleine’s. You are coming back, right? You’re not leaving us?”
“Oh no, honey… It’s just some bureaucratic…” bullshit “…papers that need to be right. I’ll be back before you know it. Come here.”
She sat on the side of the bed and patted the spot next to her.
“I will be back in a couple of days, maybe sooner. I promise. You don’t have to leave just because I’m not here. You live here, you can stay.”
Alannah bit her lip and looked away.
“No… What if he… You know.”
Oh God, she’s still afraid of him.
Laura hugged the girl and she didn’t struggle.
“Okay, but let’s not worry about it until tomorrow. We can talk to him about it when he comes home tonight. I wish you could come with me, but I don’t think your mom would approve with this short notice.”
Laura’s phone chimed a happy tune.
“It’s your dad, I’ve gotta talk to him, okay?”
Alannah nodded, but still looked like a little girl when she walked towards the door.
Marc sounded fatigued.
“Hey… Lawrence called me.”
“Me too. Good thing someone else is thinking for me, I had no idea.”
“I’ve booked you on a plane to Vegas tomorrow. Three nights at the Bellagio, you’ll have fun there.”
“Are you coming with me?
“I can’t. I have that custody-divorce thing tomorrow.”
I always wanted to go to Vegas, but not all alone. And what about your plan, sweetheart?
“I don’t want to go.”
It was hard not to sound like a sulking child.
“I know. I don’t want you to. Lawrence explained in great detail why you should.”
Would it be the end of the world if I left a couple of days late? This is all my fault. If I hadn’t been so excited over coming here I might have paid attention. I should have kept track of the time…
Marc’s voice woke her from the bout of depression.
“It will be okay, sweetheart.”
I hope so.
His positive outlook didn’t seem genuine, but at least he tried to see things from the bright side, so she tried too. She still had tears in her eyes when he drove her to the airport the next morning.
I’m scared. What if everything changes? There are too many things that can go wrong at once.
She’d grown used to having Alannah in the house. Lawrence had assured them everything that remained of Marc’s divorce was technicalities, but what if someone decided to take the girl away?
He struggled so hard with keeping his darker sides at bay. If today went badly and she wasn’t there for him, maybe he’d disappear and resurface after two weeks, or not at all.
I don’t think there will ever be a good time for leaving, but it could hardly be worse.
Marc’s voice shook her out of her thoughts.
“You’ll take care of yourself, right? A car will pick you up at the airport, and Lawrence booked some show for you tonight. He and Thomas both think you’ll love it. The hotel has all the details. It’s a great place, they’ll take care of you.”
Can you please stop the car so I can throw up?
“I will, if you promise to take care of yourself too.”
He glanced over at her. “I really wish you didn’t have to go right now, but I’ll do my darndest to be a good boy.”
She bit her lip and looked out the passenger window, wishing it had been summer so she could at least hide behind sunglasses. He shouldn’t have to see her cry.
“Hey, don’t look like that, you’ll be back here in no-time.”
She couldn’t answer, but nodded and forced a smile.
Marc walked her as close to the terminal as he could follow and pulled her close.
“I’ll be in court when you land, but call me and leave a voice mail so I know everything went well. I’ll worry.”
Staring into his eyes gave a revelation.
He’s just as scared as I am, but he hides it better.
“I will. I love you.”
Walking away was more difficult than she could ever have imagined.
*****
Being excited over something that left Marc in trouble seemed wrong, but when a limo drove her to a huge hotel, passing all sorts of interesting sights, she couldn’t keep the depressed attitude anymore.
Everything was so big.
The driver gave her a little tour, and her amazed eyes stared at the buildings, large
fountains, a sphinx, an Eiffel tower, a statue of liberty and a giant lit up balloon…
“Wow.”
The hotel was no less impressing. The suite seemed the size of their house. As much money as he must have spent on the trip she should probably try to enjoy it.
Las Vegas in the dark impressed her even more.
I wonder what it costs just to power all these lights.
She had a good day despite all misgivings, until she returned to the hotel after the show.
It was much too late to call Marc, and the rooms were so big they made her home sick. All of a sudden, she wanted to cry and wallow in self-pity.
As soon as she went to bed she imagined all sorts of noises that could mean a band of murderers breaking in. She slipped out of the sheets several times and tiptoed around the room, but she was alone, of course. Knowing she was silly didn’t help. She tossed and turned into the wee hours of the morning.
If you were here, I’d be sleeping like a rock. I hope your night is going better.
She eventually dozed off and woke from the phone ringing.
What time is it? Five…
Marc spoke slowly, and his voice sounded thick.
“I’m sorry to wake you up. I just… I couldn’t wait any longer.”
“That’s okay, I missed you. I wanted to call you last night, but I didn’t want to wake you.”
He laughed softly.
“I wanted you to call. You should have.”
We’re so cute. And silly.
“How did yesterday go?”
“Pretty well. I am now an unmarried man. Alannah is old enough to choose where she lives, and I think she’ll pick us, at least for a while. Aidan will stay with Anne, but come visit every other or third weekend or some shit like that.”
He slurred and she could almost see him rub his forehead.
You’ve been out partying all night, haven’t you?
“Did you sleep at all?”
“No… How do you like Vegas?”
”It’s great, but it would be better if you were here. Hey, I sinned. I bought a camera with your credit card.”
“Thatta girl. I hope you got a nice one.” He fell silent for a moment. “Maybe… Maybe I could fly out there, unless you want peace and quiet.”
