From A Distance

by L. M. Carr

  Cautiously, Tyler bounces up and down, putting more pressure on that side. I anticipate a hiss of pain or a look of distress, but his face simply beams with sheer joy.

  “Feels great.”

  “Are you sure? It was a pretty severe fracture.”

  Nodding adamantly, he reassures her.

  “Well, then. You’re good to go. Just take it easy for a few days.”

  The words fly out of his mouth. “When can I start racing again?”

  Dr. McLeod glances at me with raised brows before she addresses him. “That’s completely up to you.”

  She extends her hand and says it was nice to meet me. Her eyes meet his as she offers a warning. “You—please be careful.”

  Moments later, Tyler and I stand alone in the room. He can’t seem to control his elation; he’s like a kid in a candy store who’s just swallowed tubes and tubes of pure sugar.

  I wait for him to speak first.

  “Thank you for coming with me today. I’m glad you were here.”

  I smile and bite my bottom lip, replying, “Me, too” just as my phone buzzes in my purse.

  “Aw, damn!”

  My eyes snap up, fearing his leg is snapped in half or something. “What’s wrong?”

  Tyler looks down at his sweatpants. “I can’t go outside like this.”

  Laughter erupts when we realize one pant leg is cut short above the knee while the other one is still long.

  “I didn’t really think about this.”

  I unzip my bag and reach in. With my hand extended, I offer the rolled-up jeans.

  “I did.”

  I pray silently they fit. It’s been so long since he’s worn jeans, but I remember seeing him in jeans and my God, he looked so good.

  The look of surprise and disbelief on his face is priceless.

  “What the— how did you know?”

  “I’m a nurse. Very rarely do patients go home in the same clothes they arrived in.”

  Looking at me with grateful eyes, Tyler takes them and toes off his boots.

  Then he drops his sweatpants.

  Only wearing a T-shirt and fitted black boxers, Tyler stands before me, tempting me, teasing me, daring me not to look. His thighs are thick and muscular, not long and lean like a runner’s. I slide my tongue across my bottom lip at the sight of his stiffness.

  “Do you want to touch it?” he asks huskily.

  Yes! Yes! God, yes!

  Taking a small step back, Tyler widens his stance, giving me a perfect view of his erection.

  “You have to run your hand up and down then go over it a few times.” Grinning, he encourages me further. “I don’t mind it.”

  Given the green light, I raise my hand slowly, moving closer to his body. My fingers graze the material of his cotton shirt on my downward journey into unknown, forbidden until now, territory.

  A huge hand clamps down over mine and drags it away from its intended target.

  “See! Feels like pizza dough.”

  My eyes attempt to hide my embarrassment as he massages his leg with my hand. Slowly, I draw my eyes open and meet his playful expression.

  “You’re a jerk!” I grunt, snatching my hand away.

  In all the years I’ve known Tyler, I don’t think I’ve hated him as much as I do right now. That’s not true. I don’t hate him. In fact, I kind of love him, but after that stunt, it’ll be years before I reveal that.

  “Me? What did I do?” He raises his hands defensively as laughter pours out of him.

  I narrow my eyes, already plotting my revenge.

  “Why Karrie…did you want to touch something else?” He steps forward, closing the gap between our bodies, looking down at me with a sexy smirk.

  “Hah! You wish! I wouldn’t touch that thing with a ten-foot pole!” I turn my head and lift my chin in defiance.

  “Okay,” he deadpans and steps back, sliding one leg and then the other into his worn jeans. He does a quick bounce, making sure he has a proper fit.

  I try not to peek, but I can’t help myself. When he turns to grab his hoodie, I take full advantage and check out his backside.

  Oh. Dear. God.

  My core tightens with arousal and I force myself to swallow.

  “Ready to go?” he asks, opening the door and gesturing that I walk through.

  “After you.” I smile.

  The office staff says their goodbyes and wish him well. Zebra Girl is nowhere in sight.

  “Come on, Loverboy. Time to get you home.”

  “Loverboy?” he inquires, coming to a quick stop, pinning me with a serious look.

  “We all know how much you love the ladies and how much they love you.”

  “Listen, do me a favor. Stop staying that. I’m not that guy.” The sharp tone in his voice reveals his frustration and annoyance. “I never was.”

  I spin around and come face to face with him. I feel badly that I keep bringing up the past. His past.

  “I’m sorry,” I sigh, my face slipping into a frown. “I was just teasing you. I won’t do it again.”

  “Understand this…you are the only thing I want. You are the only thing I wanted for the past five years. Five years! And now…now that I have the chance to have you, if you’ll let me, I don’t want anyone or anything screwing that up. Got it?”

  I nod.

  “Got it!”

  Wrapping my arms around his waist, I squeeze him hard and inhale the fresh scent. Together with his arm draped over my shoulder and my hand still around his waist, we walk out in the late autumn air.

  “IS THAT OKAY?”

  Blinking sharply, I snap my attention away from the gorgeous woman who’s being ignored by her equally gorgeous husband. Her attempts to hold his hand, only to have him reach for his glass of scotch or the way her eyes slide across the room to see who’s watching is a familiar story. Their tale is a familiar one and my heart hurts for her.

  “What did you say?” I smile apologetically for my inattentiveness.

  “Would you mind if we stopped at my apartment after dinner?” Tyler asks, looking at me over the glass.

  “Yeah, of course.” I pick up the glass of Sauvignon Blanc and take a large gulp.

  “You okay? You seem…distracted.”

  I glance around the elegant restaurant and try to appreciate his efforts for our first official date. It’s make no difference that we live under the same roof; it’s still our first date. I loved the hand-written note that accompanied the flowers, asking me to escort him this evening for dinner. Had I known this is the restaurant he selected, I might’ve suggested another place.

  “Alex and I used to come here a lot in the beginning.”

  A deep sigh full of disappointment escapes as his head drops low.

  “I’m sorry. Do you want to go?”

  I reach across the table and clasp my fingers with his, squeezing gently.

  “Look at me.” I squeeze again, encouraging him to lift his head. “You couldn’t have known.”

  “I wanted to do something nice for you. I thought you would like this.”

  “This?” I motion with my hand, “is not me. You know that.”

  “And I kind of wanted to make a good impression.”

  I toss my head back in laughter.

  “Good impression? I’m already so impressed with you.”

  “I’m not successful. I don’t have tons of money. I don’t even own a house.”

  I’ve never seen this self-degrading and insecure side of him until now. And I don’t like it.

  “You impress me in lots of ways.”

  He tugs his lips back tightly, forming a sarcastic grin.

  “You make me laugh. You know how to make a mean pot of sauce and you’re by far the best kisser.”

  His cheeks flush red as a genuine smile spreads across his face.

  He inhales sharply and asks, “Do you want to go somewhere else?”

  I nod slowly.

  “I have the perfect spot,” I whisper with e
xcitement.

  Tyler flags over the waiter who is rounding the corner with our entrees.

  “We’re going to need this to go.”

  Walking out of the fancy restaurant, I wipe tears from my eyes.

  “Oh my God!” I laugh as I link my arm with his. “Did you see his face? He was so offended that we asked for a ‘to go’ container.”

  Through his own laughter, Tyler adds, “He should’ve given me the whole damn loaf for what they charge!”

  He walks me to the passenger side of the car and stares down at me. I slide my hand through his open jacket and smooth down his blue dress shirt and then tug on his tie.

  “You looked good tonight dressed like this, but this isn’t you.”

  “Like I said…I was trying to impress.”

  I turn my eyes upward and shake my head.

  “You’re sexiest in jeans and a T-shirt. Or in your leathers.”

  His eyes widen in surprise.

  “You have no idea what seeing you on that bike does,” I growl in his ear.

  He pulls my body flush with his, his erection straining through his dress pants.

  “I’m sorry about how things turned out tonight.”

  Using his tie, I pull him down and bring our lips closer.

  “Tonight is definitely not over.”

  My jaw is nestled into his open hand as he joins our mouths and leans into me, kissing me senseless until my lips swell and my heart beats wildly.

  “I love you,” I mumble against his lips. My eyes fly open at my admission as do his.

  “What did you just say?” He grins.

  “I do. I love you.”

  “One more time. Say it one more time.”

  I love the humor reflected in his eyes.

  “My name is Karrie Parker and I’m in love with Tyler Strong!” I yell at the top of my lungs, drawing odd looks from nicely dressed people entering the restaurant.

  I return my gaze to him and find hurt.

  “What? Was that not loud enough? I can scream louder.”

  “Parker,” he utters sadly. The vulnerable man makes a return.

  “Don’t do this. Don’t do this to us,” I plead.

  “Alex is always going to come between us, isn’t he?”

  I huff loudly. “No! Not if we don’t let him.”

  “I won’t be able to give you what he gave you.”

  “God, I hope not! I truly hope not!”

  Memories of my drunken husband raising a heavy hand to me send a shiver down my spine.

  “I don’t ever want you to think that you need to be like him. Look, we can’t ignore the fact that he was my husband, but if it also weren’t for him, we wouldn’t be together right now.”

  My eyes beg for his understanding.

  “You have no idea what it was like for me. Our marriage…it was not as great as everyone thought.”

  Showboaters—that’s what we were. At least he was.

  “He didn’t deserve you.”

  “Maybe not,” I agree, “but he’s gone.”

  “Can you do me a favor? Forget about the past. Let’s look forward to the future. Forget that I was Alex’s wife, forget that my name is Karrie Parker. Just love me for me. Plain ol’ Karrie.”

  I follow Tyler’s eyes as they move across my face slowly, reverently, until eventually they land on my lips.

  “Sweetheart, there is nothing plain about you. You are, without a doubt, the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”

  I fight a smile but lose. “Thank you,” I say, choosing to accept his compliment rather than countering with “I’ve seen the women at the track.”

  “It’s getting cold out,” Tyler says, tucking me beneath his chin as his hands rub my back.

  “I thought you liked the cold,” I question.

  “I do like to be outside, but right now,” he murmurs in my ear, causing my breathing to hitch. “I’d really love to be somewhere nice and warm.”

  “Where’s that?” I breathe, tilting my neck to the side. Goosebumps line my skin.

  “In you.”

  Fastening our seatbelts is a feat within itself as we struggle to keep our hands off each other.

  The drive through the city has never ever been so torturous.

  ***

  CLIMBING THE STAIRS with me practically on top of him, Tyler fumbles for the key and shoves it into the lock. My back hits the door, sliding against something which falls to the concrete landing.

  “Hurry up!” I laugh as a cold breeze nips at the exposed skin of my thighs; the thin short dress offers little warmth against the frigid air.

  “What the hell?” He shuffles his feet over the strewn paper when he manages to open the door.

  I slide down his hard body but never break contact with his mouth until my coat hits the floor and I realize his apartment is almost as cold as it is outside.

  “Give me two minutes.”

  Tyler hurries to turn on a lamp as he continues jogging in the opposite direction. I scan the place he calls home. I’d always pictured him living in a run-down apartment since it’s above his garage, but this place is anything but. It’s warm and comfortable, showing signs of being loved. I spy a blue and green checkered afghan draped over the back of the couch and resist wrapping myself up in it; instead I pull my coat back on and rub my arms.

  Vintage yellow Tonka trucks and a bucket of colorful Legos are wedged in the corner near the door. My mind conjures up an image of Tyler playing with his nephew.

  Sitting on top of the TV are pictures, many very similar to the ones Stacy brought to the hospital. Tyler and his brother. Tyler on a dirt bike. Tyler skiing.

  Then I see Alex and my heart plummets. I hesitate and then pick up the rectangular shaped frame, looking at it carefully. Their entire race team is there, each with a pointed finger in the air while Alex and Tyler hold a trophy up. My finger traces over Alex’s face then stills when I see a petite blonde is tucked behind his arm while she leans against him.

  Penny.

  Betrayal sucker punches me in the gut. My husband was having an affair with Penny and Tyler knew about it.

  I gasp and turn quickly when he calls my name. I raise the photograph in question and his eyes widen. He bears the look of a guilty man.

  “Penny. He was having an affair with Penny.” A mangled, dry chuckle seeps through. “And you knew all along. You fucking knew.”

  “Karrie, please.”

  The sound of glass shattering against the wall pierces the cold air.

  “You bastards! How could you have done this to me?”

  “Me?” he screams, his arms flailing wildly. “I didn’t fucking do anything. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t listen. Alex was a selfish bastard. All he cared about was himself. Whatever fucking made him happy and he didn’t care who he hurt along the way.”

  I crumble on the spot, falling to my knees, crying out as I curse his name.

  Tyler scoops me up and cradles me to his chest.

  “Baby, he can’t hurt you anymore. I won’t let him.” His voice cracks with emotion while he wraps his arms around me.

  Gently, Tyler lays me on his bed. The blanket is cold, but the heat from the wall mounted fireplace radiates, warming me slightly. The tears continue to fall and I hate that he’s broken my heart again. This time from the grave.

  “Why? Why did he do those things? Why did he ask me to marry him? Why did he ruin my life?” I stare at the orange glow, silently condemning him to hell where he belongs.

  The pendulum of emotion swings from crying softly to full blown screaming until I have nothing left in me. My body shudders as exhaustion overtakes me.

  Tyler shifts beside me and props himself up on his elbow. I can feel the weight of his stare.

  “Please don’t hate me for what he did. I hate myself enough as it is.”

  I sigh heavily and shake my head in disbelief. “Everything was a lie. My marriage, my life, the past five years…all of it was a lie.”

  L
ies. Everything Alex ever said was a lie.

  Realization widens my eyes and I turn to look at the man beside me.

  “The stories he told me about you weren’t true, were they?”

  The blank stare on his face leaves little need for words.

  “It was him, wasn’t it?” I struggle to get air into my lungs. “My God, he went into so much detail. He screwed all those women and told me it was you. Why would he do that?”

  Tyler’s throat moves with a hard swallow before he responds. “I don’t know.”

  I howl in anger. “What a bastard!”

  My night out with Pam rushes forward.

  “That was him at the Black Horse, wasn’t it?” Bile rises in my throat. “That was him having sex with Penny, not you.”

  “I was with Tre that night; it was his birthday.” Tyler says as if offering an alibi. He doesn’t need one, I already know where my husband was and what he was doing.

  I run my fingers through my hair and grip it tightly, thinking hard about the turn my life has taken. I thank God we never had children.

  “Penny’s baby…is it his?

  Tyler’s lips tighten into a straight line while his guilt-ridden eyes cast away. Moments later, his eyes sweep upward to look at me and he nods sorrowfully.

  “Wow,” I snicker. “It’s a good thing Alex is dead because I probably would have killed him myself.”

  Tyler’s hands replace mine in my hair, pulling the strands back slowly.

  “Is there anything else I need to know?”

  I can see the internal war he’s raging.

  “He knew I was in love with you.”

  “What?” I gasp. “How would he know that?”

  “The night he died…in the truck.” He inhales then exhales loudly before continuing, “that’s what we fought about. He couldn’t understand why I was always defending you. He didn’t understand why I was always pissed off when we raced and he disappeared. And then it dawned on him. He said some pretty nasty things about me…and you.”

  I steady his hand with mine and slide our fingers together, my thumb moves slowly over the calluses on his palm. To think this man, whom I hated for so many years because of my husband’s falsehoods and betrayals, defended me. I never knew until now that he defended my honor because he loved me.