HUNTING (PAVAD)

by Calle J. Brookes

  Their next stop was a rest stop alongside the interstate. It wasn’t Malachi’s preferred choice of dining establishments, but Julia had pointed out that there was most likely a shower stall around the place somewhere. And Ruthie needed it. He’d held her, and noticed how her hair clumped around her little head. Whatever had happened in the last twenty-four hours, Ruthie had been overlooked. Even the basics of hygiene had been missed. Twenty minutes later, Julia carried a much cleaner Ruthie to the table Malachi occupied. He did his best to get Ruthie laughing, but it was work. She looked up at him with such wariness in her eyes. Wariness that had been there the first and only time they’d met before. She hadn’t even been three at the time.

  Julia was different with Ruthie, softer. She fussed, and she touched. Brushed Ruthie’s hair off her forehead, patted the little girl’s back. She was loving and caring, in a natural, unforced way. What would she be like once the two had had time to build on their relationship?

  Yes, Julia would be one hell of a good mother to the little girl sitting beside her. He had no doubts about that. But did Julia realize that?

  Less than an hour after loading and take-off Ruthie and Julia were both asleep. No surprise; Ruthie had had an upheaval over the last day or so, and Julia hadn’t slept well the night before. He’d been the cause of that, but he couldn’t regret what had occurred between them. He signaled the flight attendant, and she walked to his side.

  “Yes? How may I help you?”

  “Can I get a couple of blankets, please?” He motioned toward the woman beside him, and the girl next to the window. “They’ve had a rough few days.”

  “Of course. How old is your daughter? She favors your wife.”

  Her words were fishing, and her smile flirtatious. Mal smiled politely. “She’s not quite four yet. They are beautiful, aren’t they?”

  He didn’t want to engage in a flirtation, not right now. Not with his thoughts so consumed with the woman asleep on his shoulder. Her hand was curled on the arm rest beside him, and he covered her fingers with his own. Fragile. Almost frail. He’d noticed that about her in the North St. Louis basement. Julia had such small hands for what she did…The attendant handed him the blankets and he spread one over Ruthie, and then Julia. He tucked her hand beneath the cotton, noticing then what had most likely made the attendant think they were together.

  Julia still wore her wedding rings, and it was a beautiful set. His hand lingered on hers, and he was confused. Why did the sight of that jewelry bother him on the deepest level?

  Because it wasn’t his?

  Because, God help him, she wasn’t fully his?

  He dropped her hand like it burned him.

  Yes. He was attracted to Julia. Yes, he’d slept with her at the first sign she was willing. He was male, after all, healthy and alive.

  Now, he supposed, it was up to him. Did he want to take things further? Actively pursue a relationship with the woman who was just as likely to bite him as an angry Doberman was?

  She sighed in her asleep, and shifted a bit, settling deeper beneath the blanket. Her hair was coming loose from its habitual knot on the back of her head. No pencils holding the hair in place for her today. She had dressed more formally for the meeting with the social worker in a pantsuit and heels. He missed the scrubs and sweatshirts she normally wore.

  He forced his thoughts in another direction. Thoughts of Julia naked would make for a very uncomfortable flight. Still, his mind lingered on the attendant’s words. They’d sounded almost right. And that was what concerned him.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  * * *

  Malachi tried to forget the events of South Dakota but he knew damned well he wouldn’t be able to. How could he? There was something about Julia Bellows that got beneath his skin, burned him, and he’d yet to figure it out. He half suspected he never would. Being with her had just made it worse.

  And watching her with Ruthie had just made that burn, that yearning, even stronger. She’d looked so right holding that little girl. It had felt right having the two of them with him, even if just for one day. He didn’t know what that meant, and he knew she was resistant, but Malachi believed in taking chances and following his instincts. And every instinct he had was shouting at him not to give up on her.

  So he wouldn’t.

  He spent his lunch hour two days after they flew back to St. Louis closed up in his office, thinking and strategizing about Julia. He came up with no real solutions, but he had a few possibilities. The main was to just be there until she realized he always would. That he would never leave her alone again.

  As for Ruthie, he’d admit it to anyone who asked, he fell in love with that kid within an hour of them picking her up. She was a sweet, beautiful, lovable little girl, and he wanted to be a part of her life just as much as he did her mother’s.

  Somehow.

  Someone knocked on his door fifteen minutes before he was ready to leave for the day, and he looked up to see his little sister in the doorway. “Hey. You look a little broody, what’s up?”

  “Just thinking about South Dakota.” And the woman he’d gone with.

  “Crazy, huh? Getting the kid early really threw Jules for a loop.” Al flopped into a chair. “So what do you think of the kid?”

  “She’s a beautiful, wonderful child, who has been hurt far too much for her young age. But she’s resilient. And she has a beautiful little laugh. She’s going to be ok with Julia. They belong together.”

  “That’s good to know. We’re having a party in the cafeteria. Your presence has been requested.”

  “What for?” Al and her friends took any excuse to party in the small cafeteria—always late in the day or after shift. Ed Dennis and the team leaders were tolerant of it. Understood how valuable down-time was for those in their stressful jobs really was. The teams needed to be together sometimes in ways non-work related.

  “Jules. And Ruthie. A baby shower, and since Jules is home with Ruthie, you’ve been drafted to stand in her place.”

  “Me? Why me?”

  “Because you’ve met the kid, and the rest of us have plans for after work. We need somebody to deliver the gifts. I volunteered you.”

  “Gee, thanks.” Still, Malachi wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak. Now he had an excuse…

  He’d been thinking about those two females for the last two days.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  * * *

  She’d volunteered her brother for the very fact that the idea of it pleased him. Somehow she’d known it would. Al hid a smile, but she was elated to know her theory had been proven correct.

  She’d talked to Jules yesterday, the day after they’d returned from South Dakota. While it had been subtle, she’d heard Jules’ voice change when the discussion had turned to Malachi. And when she’d seen Malachi yesterday at their parents’ place, he’d perked up when Jules’ name was mentioned.

  Had something happened between them in South Dakota? Al was almost certain it had. And she thought that was beautiful.

  Her brother and Jules could get together and then Al would get Ruthie as a niece as well as a goddaughter. And her brother and friend would be happy. Happier together than they were apart. Did they even realize how lonely they were? They deserved someone to love them. How could she not want that for them? She cared about them both, and could easily see that they needed someone in their lives.

  When someone had mentioned carrying all the gifts from the party to Jules’ house, Al had volunteered Malachi before anyone else could take the responsibility.

  She just hoped Jules forgave her for meddling, some day.

  And that’s exactly what she was doing.

  Meddling.

  Mal seemed in a big hurry to gather the gifts—and they’d probably gone a bit overboard with things, but Al had heard how little Ruthie had come with. It had broken her heart, and knew Georgia, Ana, and the rest probably felt the same way. Al helped him carry the boxes and bags to his SUV
. “Tell Jules congrats from all of us. And that I’d love to meet Ruthie soon.”

  She had a lot of auntie-duties to get started on. This kid was going to have a family that loved her no matter what, regardless of whatever developed between Jules and Mal. Family wasn’t just the bonds of biology. Family was what you made it.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  * * *

  Ruthie’s first weekend in St. Louis was the hardest time in Jules’ life other than the day Rick and Bryan had died. Neither she nor the little girl knew exactly what to do and both of them struggled to put that into words the other could understand.

  Ruthie stayed less than a foot away from Jules at all times. Even following her to the bathroom.

  Jules understood it—the little girl was frightened and every home she’d ever known had disintegrated around her. She’d read the file from the social worker; and it contained what Jules suspected was a glossed-over report about why the girl’s last placement had resulted in an abrupt disruption.

  Ruthie’s previous foster mother was a cousin of one of Ruthie’s father’s victims. Apparently she hadn’t wanted the man’s daughter around her own children. Less than a month after Ruthie had been placed in that house, the woman was calling the case worker to have Ruthie removed.

  Jules half understood the woman’s feelings, but…Ruthie was an innocent child in need of protection and someone to love her. The last thing she needed was upheaval.

  By the time Monday afternoon rolled around, both she and Ruthie were strung out and exhausted.

  Jules carried Ruthie on her hip, the phone in her other hand. She’d unsuccessfully tried to get the little girl to take a nap in her new bedroom long enough for Jules to take a shower, but the kid was having nothing of that. Jules had arranged for two weeks off with Ed, not wanting to face leaving Ruthie with a sitter just yet. Rosa, Ed’s housekeeper, had agreed to watch the little girl during the day, and Jules was comfortable with that arrangement. Until recently, she’d stayed in Ed’s guest house on the corner of his property. She’d only moved when it became clear that she was going to be given Ruthie. The guest house was only one bedroom, and hadn’t been large enough. During the time she’d stayed there, Jules had gotten to know Rosa very well. Well enough to trust her with Ruthie.

  But that didn’t mean Jules was ready to leave Ruthie just yet. Or that Ruthie was ready to be left. Someone knocked on her door, and Jules was able to hold back a curse just in time. She didn’t want Ruthie hearing those words yet. Not anymore than the kid probably already had.

  Ruthie was quiet, and clung to Jules shoulder. Jules peeked out the window to see who stood on her steps.

  Galahad. Great…But at least it was someone Ruthie knew and was somewhat comfortable with. Ed had visited yesterday, and Ruthie had almost gone berserk. And Ed was one of those people who were naturally wonderful with children.

  She opened the door with one hand, holding Ruthie and her teddy bear with the other. “Malachi, what can I do for you?”

  “It’s what I can do for you. Al and some of the others at work through you a ‘not-so-baby-shower-in-absentia’. I was drafted to bring it over to you.” He held a large box and three gift bags rested at his feet. She sat the little girl down and bent to retrieve the bags.

  “They didn’t have to.”

  “They wanted to.”

  “But—”

  “Just accept that your friends love you and want to help you out. And they think you and Ruthie together is worthy of celebration. I happen to agree with them.”

  He walked through her living room like he’d been there dozens of times before. He hadn’t, and she’d wanted to keep it that way. She didn’t need reminders of his presence lingering in her home. Didn’t need to imagine him in her home when she was at her weakest points. Not if she wanted to forget what had happened between them. “Thank you for delivery.”

  “This is one of Ed’s properties, isn’t it?”

  Georgia’s father owned a dozen houses, plus an apartment/townhome complex. He’d offered Julia a home to live in rent free, but she’d insisted on paying a decent price for the three bedroom home with a small backyard for Ruthie to play in. It was close to work, and when Ruthie was old enough, close to Brynlock Academy—the same school where Matthew attended now. “Yes.”

  “I thought so. I think I’ve been here before. I think he recruited me and Royal a few years ago for reroofing.”

  “Oh. Well, it’s really time for a nap, so I’ll give you the tour some other time.” Her words were rude, and he knew it. She knew he knew it. It was in the way those dratted blue eyes of his sparkled with his humor. He’d enjoyed finding her so disheveled and out of her element. The rat. The jerk. Was he always going to be there to catch her at her weakest moments?

  “I can wait for you to get her settled.”

  “Sure you can. I guess a shower is not in my future for today.”

  “I can also join you in that, if you wish.” He said it in the same maddeningly cheerful tone, as if she wasn’t standing there glaring at him, Ruthie clinging to her shoulder and waist, with ketchup smeared all over the back of her white blouse, crackers smashed into her hair, and the bright new toys she’d bought Ruthie scattered around the cream rug. “In fact, I think that might be fun.”

  “Not happening. Stay here.” Sometimes, just sometimes, it was easier to give in to the beast than to fight him. And since Ruthie hadn’t slept for longer than forty-five minutes at a stretch last night, Jules was just too tired to spar with that blue-eyed devil.

  She carried the little girl—now almost out—back to her bedroom and settled her beneath the covers. The little girl was resistant but within a few moments her eyes drooped and she was out. Jules pushed the hair out of her own eyes and hastily braided the still tangled mess. The crackers would just have to stay there.

  It was just Malachi anyway. Why did she care what she looked like?

  He waited on her couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table. “Get your feet down. Your mother would smack you if she saw you sitting like that.”

  He straightened. “You’re probably right. So are you ready to open your presents?” He had the bags and box beside the table. “I am more than willing to help. Curiosity. I’m not sure what someone would give to a woman adopting a preschooler.”

  “Let’s find out.” The sooner she satisfied his curiosity, the sooner she could find her own bed for a nap. How did other women do it? Just three days with Ruthie had exhausted her. She grabbed the first bag and pulled pink tissue paper free. Inside the bag was a tiny pink purse and dress up set. She didn’t have to see the tag to know who it was from. “Georgia.”

  Georgia loved girly girly things and always had. Jules smiled, feeling some of her tension relax. “I’ll put it back in the bag and let Ruthie open it for herself. I think she’ll like it.”

  Ana had provided tons of crayons, coloring books, and paper. Marianna and Ally Brewster had gone in together and provided plastic cups and dishes and flatware perfect for a little girl. Between those two women they had ten kids, and Ally was carrying twins. Jules appreciated their thoughtful gift, though she didn’t know either of them extremely well. Al had provided a stack of Curious George books and a beautiful blonde, blue eyed doll. Jules laughed at the resemblance between the gift and the gift-giver.

  But it was Paige’s gift that had Jules laughing. Tiny black leather boots. With silver kittens jingling from the strings. “Oh, Paige…”

  Malachi also laughed. “Those are cute, but what on earth would she wear with them?”

  “Who knows? I’m taking her clothes shopping one day this week. We’ll have to pick out some black pants and black t-shirt.” Their shoulders were touching. When had that happened?

  Jules’s breath hitched when he looked at her. “So how are the two of you doing?”

  Jules’s hand rose and she picked at the cheese crackers still in her hair. “I’m not sure. We’re muddling through. She won’t let me out of her si
ght. I understand it, I do. And I’m half afraid to let her out of mine. I don’t know this child. Not really.”

  “But you care about her. And you’ve made commitments.” He slipped his arm behind her shoulders and Jules fought the urge to snuggle against him. Yeah, he always caught her at her weakest moments. Damn him. “I think you’ll do just fine, in the long run.”

  “It’s not the long run I’m worried about at the moment. It’s today. I haven’t had a shower yet—and I’m not so sure if I’ve brushed my teeth since yesterday morning. And she was up and down all night.” Jules tried to fight the yawn, but lost. “This is the first time all day I’ve not been holding her.”

  “Have you slept much at all since South Dakota? Before?”

  “No. Not since the night before we flew up.” She leaned back against the couch, forgetting that someone had his arm behind her. “She’s exhausting. Just like Mattie at that age.”

  “Probably Mattie was even more exhausting.” A warm hand brushed her cheek and Jules opened her eyes. He was leaning over her, crowding her yet again. “Why don’t you stretch out and relax a bit while she sleeps?”

  “And what about you? Besides as soon as I do, she’ll be awake.”

  “Tell you what…why don’t you rest and I’ll stick around in case she wakes up. She already knows me, so I won’t scare her by being here. Go on, what could it hurt?” His hand was rubbing along her spine, and she leaned in even closer. She rested her head against his chest, listening to the steady thump, thump that told her he was alive and healthy. God, why did he always catch her at her weakest? Jules closed her eyes, and within moments was out.

  * * *

  Mal sat where he was for the longest time, just holding her. Confusing. The woman was definitely confusing. One minute she was pushing him away, the next cuddling up against him like she’d been there a thousand times before. He ran his fingers over her braid, laughing to himself when cracker crumbs stuck to his hand. Poor Julia; but had he ever seen her looking more beautiful? More soft, loving, vulnerable, open to the world around her?