reflection 01 - the reflective

by Blodgett, Tamara Rose

  “Doesn't matter what I think. I just work the system.”

  “So, we're nothing but a bunch of sheep, manipulating a broken system.”

  “Speaking of manipulating,” Cyn said, a contemplative expression crowding her features.

  “Ah—no. I am not going to dress up.”

  “Listen, we're almost done with this math cram…”

  “It's a cram all right,” Julia said.

  “Anyway,” Cyn said, drawing the word out dramatically, “this is your last final before graduation. Prom is coming. Let's get you hot and sexy for your man-toy.”

  Maybe Julia shouldn't have told Cyn about the secret engagement. But as she'd said to Jason, if she didn't tell someone, she'd burst. And now she had an endless barrage of teasing from Cyn.

  “Jason's not a ʻtoy,ʼ Cyn.”

  She scrunched her face. “Ooh, touchy. Okay, calm yourself.”

  Julia blew a stray hair away from her forehead. She had to give in to Cyn, or she'd be after her until she chose a dress.

  “Okay!” Julia threw up her hands. “I'll go.”

  “That's not good enough. Tell me what I need to hear. Otherwise, you might go and watch me pick out a dress and worm out of everything.” She gave Julia steady green eyes.

  Damn. She had her there.

  “Okay, I'll try something on and choose a dress for prom. Happy?”

  “Repeat after me: It will not be a sack,” she said in her droll way.

  Julia fumed. Did she really think she'd pick out some shapeless sheath?

  “I do,” she said.

  “Hey! I didn't say—”

  Cyn made a circling motion with her index finger alongside her head. “Saw your wheels turning.”

  Julia repeated the sack thing, and Cynthia smiled.

  Onward and upward.

  *

  Jason

  Jason poked the stick into the fire, mercilessly stabbing the coals, trying to decide if he should add another piece of driftwood on or not. He looked at Jules, who was talking animatedly with Cyn and Kev away from the fire. Jason smiled. The hell with it—he'd put on another chunk. She'd wander over to him eventually and would be colder than a block of ice.

  He couldn't have his girl getting cold. That was against guy code. Keep your chick warm, fed, and most of all, protected. He let his gaze linger on her. He couldn't believe she'd be his soon. They'd graduate and then get married. His parents would be steaming pissed, but they'd get over it. So far, he had always done what they wanted. He'd been the good boy. He'd played basketball until his body still felt as though it was on the court when he lay down on his bed each night. He'd sucked up the grades, played his ass off, and helped his girl limp through Math and Science. He smiled, thinking of how much Jules hated the Math-Science grind. He took in her profile: blonde hair that wanted to be red, that damn wool cap covering some of it, her legs encased in jeans that dragged along the sand, and her bright-red puffy coat. Above the collar of her jacket was her face, which Jason's eyes stroked with love.

  Her face. He knew Julia was the one the moment she moved to Homer, when she was almost nine. Sullen and alone, living with her aunt, she'd been new to the area and had no friends. He'd been a gangly and awkward nine. He'd started as her champion then and never looked back.

  Now and forever.

  As if sensing his thoughts, Julia turned to look straight at him, and a smile broke, her amber eyes like glittering jewels in a face caressed by firelight. She looked at him with a questioning expression, and he gave a slight shake of his head to convey that it was nothing. She turned away, the ghost of a smile still playing on her lips. Then she burst into laughter at some dumb thing Kevin said.

  He looked away from her and added two more chunks to the fire. It burned brightly and became hot.

  *

  Cyn

  Cynthia watched the two of them jammed together like sardines and smiled. She was happy for Julia and Jason. They'd been two peas in a pod since fourth grade, and Jules had had it tough. She deserved happiness. They made a cool couple. Jason was six foot two and towered over Jules. She was only five-four, but she had never seemed short. Cynthia had never met anyone more alive, more independent. Her Aunt Lily had taken her in after Jules's parents passed. Cynthia had to admit that Lily rankled her ass sometimes too. She was so strict on Jules, as if she'd ever do anything. Hell, Jules was a secret prude. She hadn't even done the deed with Jason. They'd been dating three years, and nada.

  There's willpower for you!

  Cynthia looked up through her mascaraed eyelashes at Kevin, her steady and at-hand prom date, and sighed. He was absolutely hot. She wasn't letting him get away. Cynthia had all the titillating details to share with Jules later. She'd act bored and then listen raptly while Jules talked about her love life.

  She frowned as a thought occurred to her: she'd have to ride Jules's ass about going to Soldotna and picking out a prom dress. Jules was insisting on Vegas for the wedding and was sure to get out of getting a dress for that. Cynthia did a mental eye roll. But Jules wasn't getting out of going to the prom.

  Cynthia had tried to talk Jules out of marriage for shit's sake. I mean, she's been eighteen for, what, six months? What's the rush? Cynthia thought it had something to do with both her parents being killed when she was young. That event had really scarred her friend. Jules wanted something to hang on to, something tangible and real.

  Cynthia wasn't sure getting married at eighteen was the answer. But even she had to admit Julia couldn't do wrong with Jason. He worshiped her. Cynthia looked at the two of them together as she snuggled in next to Kevin. Jason touched Jules, cupping her face like a fragile egg as they began to kiss.

  “Looks like they've got the right idea, Cyn,” Kevin said, waggling his eyebrows.

  Cynthia gave him a mock punch. “You just want to get lucky!”

  “There is that,” Kevin replied, only half joking.

  “Uh huh. That's what I was talking about.”

  He dipped his head and gave her a peck on the lips, and she turned on the rough driftwood log where they were perched, the warmth of the fire beating against her back, and drew him against her. His mouth found hers, and they twined themselves around each other. The sky lingered above them, black velvet with stars sprinkled about it.

  *

  Dress-Up

  Julia thought she'd slit her wrists if she had to try on one more dress. She paced the room. She should have never said yes. Cyn had dress-napped her the instant they came into the boutique. Of course, everything looked good on fashion-aware Cyn. With her tall, lanky frame, she could get away with anything. She'd chosen a shell-pink, full-length, gauzy dress that made her look like a princess.

  Or, a queen, judging by the way she was beating the hell out of Julia with her scepter.

  “Come on, Jules. One more?”

  “NO! I promised I'd try on dresses—for you—and I have! What is this, number fifteen?”

  Cyn had the grace to look ashamed and flashed both hands twice.

  “Twenty!” Julia all but shrieked.

  “Right. Well… you're totally hard to find something for! I mean, who has your coloring anyway?”

  Julia huffed, her eyes taking in the piles of gowns growing in the corners like obscene shrouds. “Okay—one more. Then we pick whatever from the pile!” Her palm struck out at the material as though it were alive.

  “Okay. But if you're only trying on one more dress, it's going to be green.”

  Julia groaned. She hated green.

  Cyn brought out her hands in supplication. “I know you hate green, but just trust me, okay?

  *

  Cyn

  Cynthia insisted on she and Jules going together to prom so they could make their grand entrance and blow the dudes away. She'd also taken the initiative and ragged Julia's ass until she caved and let Cynthia do the make-up and hair for both of them. She wasn't letting her bestie into prom with anything resembling hippie chic. Julia was going to lo
ok put together and polished if it was the last thing Cynthia did.

  Cynthia dug around in her huge purse until she found her makeup bag and dragged it out, throwing it on Julia's vanity with a resounding smack.

  Julia eyed it warily. Pointing to it she asked, “what's all that crap in there?”

  “Make-you-beautiful-stuff.”

  The corners of Julia's mouth turned up. “That's a technical term, right?”

  “Hell yeah!” Cynthia winked.

  Julia sighed. She knew she'd look like a French whore by the time Cyn was done with her, but she'd released the reins and left Cyn firmly in charge of prom fashion. Julia wondered what Jason was up to. Definitely not this.

  “Woman up, Jules! I'm not taking a skin graft or something. Seriously, you act like you've never worn makeup before.”

  There was a significant silence.

  “Okay, that was sorta lame. You, the makeup queen.”

  Julia slouched and Cyn poked her in the back. “Posture, princess.”

  Then she set to work. Foundation, powder, eyeliner... false eyelashes.

  False eyelashes!

  “No way! I am not putting that crap on my real eyelashes.” Julia stared at Cynthia in horror.

  “How about just a few on the outer edge? It'll make your eyes look bigger.”

  “They're big enough.” Julia thought that if they were any bigger, she'd be a toad.

  “They're ginger colored! You can hardly see them,” Cyn wheedled.

  Julia shook her head. “No. Just put the brown mascara on, and be done with it.”

  Cynthia sighed, defeated. She still made it a point to spend a ton of time on each eye, finally swiveling Julia around in her chair to look at her reflection.

  Julia stared.

  And stared some more.

  A slow smile spread on Cynthia's face. “See, Jules? You're a goddess. Who knew?”

  Julia couldn't believe the transformation. The mossy green of the dress set off her hair, making the red in it look like molten champagne. Her eyes sparkled like gold topaz gems in a pale face with shimmering lips that were a pouty apricot. She opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again.

  “You can tell me now,” Cyn said, smug.

  Julia turned from her reflection and scowled at Cyn.

  Cynthia waited.

  Well, hell. “You're the greatest.”

  Cynthia grinned. “I know, doll face.”

  Julia rolled her eyes. What was Jason going to think of her in this getup? With the makeup and everything? Julia rolled her glossed lip into her teeth and nibbled anxiously.

  *

  Jason waited impatiently for Julia to arrive. He knew he should have nixed the lame plan of the girls—the four of them going together. He'd let Kevin convince him it was easier not to fight Cynthia.

  “Listen man, just let them. I don't want to deal with Cyn when she gets a head of steam about girl shit, you feel me?” Kevin had said.

  “What's so flaming-ass important that I can't pick Jules up?”

  “I told you—they're putting the masks and garb on.”

  “What?” Jason asked, confused. He was already feeling gay in a tux, and the bow around his neck was a slowly tightening noose. He tugged at it again.

  “Hey! Don't dick with that, it screws up the gig.”

  “What's a gig?” Jason asked, messing around with the stupid noose.

  “It's—damn, man! Leave it alone!” Kevin slapped his hand away. He took either side of the corners of the bow tie and aligned them with Jason's Adam's apple.

  There, Kevin thought. He wondered if his ass-hat friend could leave it alone for the next two hours.

  Probably not.

  “It's a military term... it means to keep all your accessories in line with the middle of your body,” Kevin said in a matter-of-fact way.

  “That's great, Kev. I'll sleep better knowing your ramrod dad gave you a few pointers.”

  “Hey jag-up, Dad served our country and has a few pearls of wisdom once in awhile.”

  “Along with some colorful vocabulary.”

  “No shit, right?” Kevin said, totally missing the irony.

  Jason smiled and shook his head as they hopped into Kev's car.

  They made their way to the last dance they'd ever attend.

  *

  Jason

  Kevin elbowed Jason, and they looked at the girls as they entered the gymnasium, where fake acrylic stars danced above their heads like wayward diamonds.

  Jason couldn't take his eyes off of her. The breath left his body in one, exhaustive rush.

  Jules was drop-dead gorgeous. He knew that people said that all the time about chicks and sometimes even about dudes. But Julia floated inside the auditorium on a cloud of emerald vapor, her dress the color of green kissed by autumn…... and stunned him into silence.

  Her hair looked almost red, its normal gold color boosted by the pine of the dress, her eyes a sparkling gold. They took up half her face.

  He still couldn't look away.

  She walked toward him slowly, and Jason noticed the dress showcased how curvy she was. She wasn't a twig, and she wasn't heavy. Jason took in a shaky breath, his eyes on her hourglass figure.

  Then he noticed all the other guys were staring at her too, and frowned.

  Julia reached him just as he put his hands out for her, and he relaxed.

  He pulled her closer and leaned down until his jaw brushed her temple. “You're beautiful,” he whispered against her fragrant skin.

  He could tell by Julia's expression that she knew she looked beautiful even without him saying it.

  They moved out to the dance floor, their hands knotted together, their gazes locked. Jason wanted her so damn bad. It wasn't just sex—he could have tapped any mindless alley cat in the school for that. She was his, and he was hers. Jason knew Jules was the one he wanted from the moment he saw her.

  *

  Julia waited in her bed with bated breath. Jason had dropped her off from prom and promised to sneak in her bedroom window later.

  Much later—Aunt Lily had the irritating habit of checking in on her before she went to sleep.

  Julia clutched her cell in one hand so she could text Jason the instant she was done checking.

  She lay on her side for what felt like ten hours in her pajama bottoms and a camisole. Her hair was still loose and curled from prom, the makeup still on. Finally, Lily opened the door a crack and, seeing that Julia appeared asleep, closed it softly behind her.

  Julia let a long breath out while texting Jason.

  He was waiting outside her house like a good stalker-boyfriend, and she helped him stumble through the window.

  “Damn! I won't miss that anymore. No more nut-cruncher windowsill for me!”

  Julia cocked and eyebrow. “We wouldn't want your, ah, nuts crunched. No, that wouldn't do,” Julia said in a low, teasing voice.

  “Come here and kiss me,” Jason said, "You're killing me. And aren't you supposed to take all that crap off your face when you go to bed?”

  She scrunched her nose in that way he loved and said, “Nah, pillowcase will get rid of it.”

  “Really?” Jason asked, grinning. He walked over to her, his eyes registering her post-prom glory with an expression of approval.

  “The dance turned out okay, Jules.” He bent to kiss the hollow between those sexy bones that intersected her neck.

  She nodded, a little breathless, as his breath moved over her pulse. She wound her arms around his neck, and his lips traveled up to her jaw then made its way to her forehead. He began peppering her face with butterfly kisses, his lashes brushing her skin. Her breathing became shallower, and Jason picked her up and carried her to the bed.

  They lay together, head to hip, the heat of their bodies one hot line. He moved against her, his hands on her ribs, kneading her flesh as she wound a leg around his hip, their mouths moving against each other.

  His hands traveled, and Julia pulled away.

&
nbsp; “Jason,” she whispered.

  “What?” he said, never breaking from his sensual assault.

  She could hardly breathe. She just wanted… she wanted to finish what they'd started. But she wanted forever more.

  She thought of her parents, long gone, their loss a thread that tied the fabric of her being together.

  He paused and pulled back to look at her, a sliver of moonlight a pale slash across his eyes. Then he pressed his forehead against hers.

  “I know,” he moaned.

  “I'm sorry,” Julia whispered. “It's not that I don't trust you.”

  “I know,” he repeated against the skin of her forehead.

  A lone tear escaped her eye, and Jason caught it, staring with eyes that had looked into hers for a decade.

  “I want to be married. It's what my parents would have wanted,” she said and Jason felt her tremble against him. He silently promised to make her first time extra special. It'd be perfect if it killed him.

  “You still miss them.” he said, tightening his hold on her.

  “Every day,” she replied through a sheen of tears.

  He leaned down and kissed her on her forehead, where her scar was—a crescent-shaped scar.

  Jason could wait forever if it meant being with her.

  They lay together in each other's arms until dawn shattered the darkness into a million pieces of golden orange, rose, and scarlet, flinging the colors about the room like so much broken glass.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Present Day

  Liquid lapped Julia, and the water parted, ice replacing the subtle undulation of comfort she'd been under.

  She came to the surface of her consciousness in a nauseating wave. She became aware that she was drowning.

  She was drowning in hunger and weakness. She didn't have the strength to move. Loud voices assailed her. They floated around her, stabbing at her consciousness until she finally understood where she was.

  If she'd had the strength, she would have wept.

  The creatures that had stolen her life away were arguing about her again.

  “I am phoning him. Gabriel must be made aware of what is happening here!”

  Julia cracked open her eyes, wide and grainy. Her mouth felt like the Sahara Desert. She was so thirsty her bones ached. How long had she been out?