Magnificent Bastard

by Lili Valente

  “Okay. Well. If you really want to know, I’ll show you.” She bends her elbows, bracing her palms on the counter behind her. A moment later she’s boosted herself up to sit on the island, bringing her knees even with my waist.

  She’s now in the perfect position for me to wrap her curvy legs around my hips and take her right here in the kitchen. For a moment, as she begins bunching her skirt in her hands, I think that’s exactly what she has in mind. I’m seconds from ripping my towel off and giving her what she’s asking for when she shakes her head.

  “Just watch,” she whispers as the skirt rises higher on her thighs, sending my blood pressure skyrocketing right along with it. “Look. Don’t touch.”

  “I’ll warn you right now, buttercup,” I say, my voice thick. “If we decide to do this, I’m not the kind who takes orders. When I’m in bed with a woman, I take control. It won’t be any different with you.”

  “That’s what I assumed.” Her breath hitches and her nipples tighten beneath her tank top, making it nearly impossible to keep from bending to bite one of them through her shirt. “That’s one of the reasons I want this. I know, when I’m with you, there won’t be room in my head for anything else. I’ll finally be able to forget all the things I don’t want to remember. Maybe even this. At least for a little while.”

  She tugs her skirt higher on her right side, displaying a patch of blue and gray as long and wide as my forearm. My forehead wrinkles, my brain torn as it attempts to process the conflicting sights of a woman’s sexy, curvy thigh bared to the hip and the ugliest tattoo I’ve ever seen.

  “Go ahead and say it,” she whispers. “It’s the ugliest tattoo you’ve ever seen.”

  “It is not,” I lie as I tilt my head to one side, trying to figure out what the fuck it is. I see eyes, a large set of teeth, and maybe…flippers? “It’s unique.”

  “Uniquely hideous.” Her hands clench the fabric in her hands until her knuckles go white. “Manatees don’t even have tusks.”

  A manatee. Shit.

  Even falling down drunk, what on earth possessed her to get a giant manatee tattoo? And how could any alleged artist, tattoo or otherwise, dare to mar such a perfectly stunning thigh by inking an eighteen-inch blob with fins on it? I’ve never committed to ink, but I’ve seen Aidan fill in enough tattoos to know this amount of work in one night must have hurt like a son of a bitch.

  Suddenly, the pity filling my chest transforms to rage and I have a vivid mental fantasy of punching the man who did this to Penny in the face.

  Repeatedly.

  “It’s so huge and dark there’s no way to cover it up and lasers would only fade it. The consultant I talked to said the color goes too deep for me to be a good candidate for removal,” Penny continues in a defeated voice. “So it’s going to be there for the rest of my life, reminding me of what an idiot I am and making every man who sees it wonder what the hell is wrong with me.”

  “Stop it.” I cup her face in my hands, fingers digging lightly into her jaw until she lifts her gaze to mine. “You are not an idiot and there is nothing wrong with you. You had a bad night. That’s it. One night.”

  “I know,” she says softly. “And it could have been so much worse. I could have drowned. Or that other woman could have died. But that’s part of the reason it hurts to look at this stupid thing. Every day this blob reminds me of how close I came to losing everything, all because someone I loved wasn’t who I thought he was.”

  Her lips tremble, but her eyes stay clear and dry as she adds, “And that’s why you couldn’t fall in love with someone like me. When you fall, it’s going to be for a strong, gorgeous, amazing woman who is as magnificent as you are. It’s not going to be for a girl who’s been so afraid of explaining her crazy tattoo that she’s bailed on every LetsGoLove date she’s agreed to go on for the past thirty-two months.”

  My fingers slide into her hair, cradling her skull in my hands, wishing I could reach into her brain, find those ugly thoughts keeping her from seeing how fantastic she is, and toss them into the trash.

  “But that’s okay,” she says, lips curving into a shaky smile. “I’m not looking for love. I just want to be close to someone again. Someone I trust, who I know won’t laugh or ridicule me when he sees Mr. Whiskers.”

  I smile, shaking my head affectionately as my hands slip free of her hair. “You named it. But of course you did. Of course you named it.”

  She wrinkles her nose. “A man with an Incredible Bulk has no room to throw stones, Prince.”

  Grin taking up more real estate on my face, I ease closer, moving between her thighs, loving the way her breath hitches as my hands come to rest on her hips. “But you have to admit it’s pretty incredible. And bulky.”

  And getting bulkier by the moment as I imagine how amazing it’s going to feel to get Penny’s curvy body beneath mine. I’m going to drive her crazy, show her all the ways I can make her forget Phillip, Mr. Whiskers, and anything else that’s plaguing her beautiful mind.

  “I admit nothing,” she says, breasts arching closer to my chest as she tilts her head back. “I’m reserving judgment until Mr. Bulk and I have been properly introduced. Which isn’t going to happen this afternoon.”

  Before I can hook my fingers around the back of her knees to hold her in place, she’s scooted backward, spun around, and jumped down on the other side of the island.

  “I want you to have some time to think before you make your decision.” She turns to face me, smoothing her skirt down around her legs. “I know this is a big shift from your usual and I don’t want you to jump into something you’ll regret just because you’re a sex addict and a willing woman showed up on your doorstep.”

  “I’m not a sex addict.” I prowl around the island toward her, “And I don’t need time to think.”

  “Yes, you do,” she says, backing away toward the door. “And I don’t think sex addiction should be ruled out. You forget that I’ve seen all your LetsGoLove messages.”

  “Then you know women always come back begging for more.” I continue my pursuit, lips curving in a smirk. “Aren’t you curious, buttercup? Want to make any bets about how many times I can make you come before dinner?”

  “Stop it, Bash.” She snatches her purse from the entryway table and clutches it to her chest like a shield. “I’m serious. I won’t feel right about this unless you have time to—”

  “I’ll use my fingers the first time,” I say, swiftly closing the distance between us. “I can’t wait to get my hand up your skirt and feel how wet you are.”

  An almost pained expression flashes across her face as her shoulders collide with the front door. “Please, Bash.”

  “Please, what?” I press my palms to the wood on either side of her face, making damned sure there’s no way she’s escaping. “You are wet, aren’t you?” I whisper, my lips inches from hers. “Wet. For me. And I haven’t even kissed you yet.”

  “Stop, Bash.” Her breath shudders out as her lids slide shut. “You’re so bad.”

  “I’m not bad, sweetheart, I’m very, very good,” I promise, my cock so hard it’s pointing straight at Penny, a pussy-seeking missile ready to fire. “And I’m going to prove it to you. First, I’ll kiss you until you can’t stand, and then I’ll carry you into my bedroom and take you all the ways I’ve been dreaming about taking you.”

  “You’ve been dreaming about me?” Her eyes flicker open, her shocked gaze connecting with mine, momentarily throwing me off my game. “Really?”

  I clear my throat, mentally scrambling for a response that won’t give too much away, but none of my usual material fits this particular moment or this particular woman.

  “It’s okay,” she says, clearly reading my discomfort. “I’ve been dreaming about you, too. And I was only asleep about half of the time.”

  She lifts her hand, touching fingertips to the center of my chest as she continues in a soft, sexy voice, “The other half I was wide awake, telling myself how wrong it was to fantasiz
e about my boss, my friend, but I couldn’t stop.” Her fingers trail down my chest to my stomach, getting close enough to my cock that it jerks beneath the towel and an almost painful surge of lust tightens my balls. “As soon as you left last night, I had to touch myself. I closed my eyes and pretended my fingers were you inside me and came so hard it felt like I was going to die.’”

  “God, Penny.” Now it’s my turn to fight for breath. I lean more weight into my hands, fighting for control. “I want to see it. I want to watch you get yourself off and know I’m going to be inside you as soon as you go. I want to pull your wet fingers into my mouth and suck them dry while you ride my cock.”

  Her fingers wrap around the top of my towel, mere centimeters from my rock hard dick, summoning a groan from low in my throat. “And I want to stay and let you show me how incredible you are because I know you’ll be incredible…but I need to go. I need you to think about this, Bash, really think about it and make a decision when you don’t have a hard-on. I care about you too much to take advantage.”

  Despite the painful pressure building low in my body, the words are so unexpected I can’t help but laugh. I smile down into her sweet face. “I’m your boss, seven years older, and about a hundred times more experienced than you are, Penny. Most people would say that I’m taking advantage of you.”

  “Most people don’t know you the way I do.” She presses up on tiptoe, planting a kiss on my cheek before whispering into my ear, “I’ll see you tomorrow. My suitcase isn’t going to pack itself.”

  Feeling strangely exposed, and not in a way I enjoy, I shift my weight back onto my heels and step away from the door and the woman in front of it. “Fine. Tomorrow, then.”

  “Don’t be mad,” she says, holding my gaze as she reaches for the door handle.

  “I’m not mad,” I say, voice tight. “Honestly, I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now, but I’m not mad.” I force a smile. “It would take a lot more than a case of blue balls to make me mad at you.”

  “Good.” Her lips press together. “Sorry about that. But you’re not alone. I’ll be suffering all the way home.”

  “Then are you sure you won’t stay?” I ask though I know she won’t, and I’m not surprised when she opens the door.

  “I can’t.” She steps back into the hall. “After all the bad stuff, I made myself a promise not to hurt anyone else if I could help it. I know I’m important to making your life run smoothly. If you decide you don’t want to risk that, I’ll understand and things can go back to the way they were before.”

  “All right.” I let my gaze skim up and down, memorizing how beautiful she looks with the light from the window behind me reflecting in her eyes. “See you soon.”

  “Soon,” she echoes before moving away down the hall. I watch her go, knowing deep down in my gut that it’s too late to step back from the ledge.

  If we don’t see this through, I’m never going to be able to hear her voice on the phone or read a message she’s written and not think about this afternoon, when I was so close to being inside her. When she was standing in the circle of my arms, giving as good as she got, driving me crazy with every word that came out of her mouth, making me so desperate for her it feels like my balls are going to explode.

  I’ll honor her request for time, but my decision is already made.

  I’m going to have her. I’m going to have her naked in my bed, writhing beneath me, screaming my name as I fuck her into her first non-self-administered orgasm in three long years.

  There’s no longer a question of if we’re going to be lovers.

  Only when.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  From the e-mail and text archives of Sebastian “Bash” Prince and Penny Pickett

  From: MagnificentBastard1

  To: Penny4YourLobsterPot

  Re: Do you want to lose your job?

  I’m assuming you must or you wouldn’t have turned me on to Ample Valley Creamery’s Salted Caramel Crack Butterscotch ice cream. Five days later, I have spooned down five pints and am heading out the door right now to make another run to the store to stock up on my drug of choice.

  At this rate, I’ll have an ice cream paunch before the month is out and will have eaten myself out of my career field by January first.

  No one wants a Magnificent Bastard with Dad bod, Penelope.

  This is something you should have considered BEFORE sending me that link to Ample Valley’s five most orgasmic flavors.

  Sincerely,

  Bash, who encourages you to start shining up your resume

  From: Penny4YourLobsterPot

  To: MagnificentBastard1

  Re: Do you want to lose your job?

  HAHAHA!!

  I knew it! I knew you would be powerless against the creamy deliciousness! Welcome to my world. I’ve gained five pounds since they opened a location on my block. I’ve had to take up jogging to compensate and, as anyone with double D breasts will tell you, that is an exercise in pure bouncy agony.

  Don’t worry about getting Dad bod.

  You’ll still be hot from the neck up ;).

  Penny, who is confident in your ability to be magnificent even with an ice cream paunch

  Text from Bash: Maybe we should go running together sometime. We could inspire each other…

  From Penny: What do I get out of this running arrangement? Do you have any bouncing body parts I’m going to find inspirational?

  Bash: I can go without a shirt and let you watch my paunch jiggle…

  Penny: Oh, stop it. You do not have a paunch. You’re too much of a control freak to let yourself go. I’ll believe this paunch nonsense when I see it.

  Bash: Come over. I’ll get an extra pint of Salted Caramel Crack for you. We can eat it on the couch while watching late night and you can see my paunch grow in person.

  Penny: It’s too late for me. I would fall asleep on the train.

  Bash: Liar. You’re just determined never to hang out with me. There go my plans for an office Christmas party…

  Penny: Lol. Can you still call it a party if only two people are invited?

  Bash: Three if you count my paunch.

  Penny: Five if you count the bouncing betties.

  Bash: Double Ds you say? Hmmm…

  I guess they can each be counted as their own separate entity. I’ll arrange invites for all three of you.

  How’s December 23rd work? I have another party on the 22nd and the 24th belongs to my mother and her new boyfriend, but I can pull together an office party by the 23rd if you’ll promise to come out.

  Or I can come to your side of the river if that’s easier.

  It’s been over a year of working bliss. I think we should meet in person, don’t you?

  Penny: I think you don’t like being alone. That’s what I think.

  Bash: …okay then.

  Guess I’ll let you go.

  Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

  Penny: I’m sorry… I was just kidding. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.

  I would love to party with you on the 23rd, but I’ve got company coming for the holidays. Can I take a rain check?

  Bash: Sure. Consider yourself rain checked. ’Night.

  Penny: Seriously Bash, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.

  That was way more about me than you.

  As you’ve obviously noticed, I don’t get out much, but I’m going to start. I promise. And when I do, you’re going to be the first person I want to see.

  I think it’s time we met, too.

  It’s kind of strange that the person I say good night to almost every night is someone I’ve only seen in pictures.

  Bash: Try having no idea what your good night person looks like… side eye

  Penny: Okay, fine! See attached picture of my feet at this very moment.

  Bash: Wow! Feet!

  And they’re wearing some very nice reindeer socks with separate compartments for each little toe. At this rate, I’ll have a good ment
al picture of what you look like below the knees by the time I’m forty.

  Penny: :P. Good night, Mr. Prince. Enjoy your ice cream.

  Bash: Good night, buttercup. Keep those toes cozy. Touch base with you Monday.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  By morning—after hours of tossing and turning and dreaming about fucking Penny in every filthy way I’ve ever had a woman and a few new ways my subconscious whipped up specifically for her—I realize that this has been coming for a long time. Way longer than last Sunday, when I finally laid eyes on more of Penny than her adorable little toes.

  Even her toes are sexy. As sexy as her quick mind and the way she makes me laugh and how she’s not afraid to call me on my bullshit.

  But then that’s part of the problem…

  I’m not a fool or the kind of person who lives his life with his head completely in the sand. Since Rachael, I’ve been jumping from short-term relationship to short-term relationship, keeping my emotional investment low in order to avoid getting hurt. I might not have wanted to face it, but I realized that particular truth a long time ago. I’m also fully aware of the fact that Penny has come to fill the female friendship and late night couch-chat hole that Rachael left behind.

  What I didn’t realize until yesterday, however, is how flirtatious my relationship with Penny had become.

  At five a.m., having given up on sleep, I’m at my computer combing through our correspondence, trying to pinpoint the moment when our friendship took a turn. I isolate several conversations about six months into our professional relationship that seem to be the tipping point, but it’s hard to tell which of us was the driving force. There are a few teasing remarks on Penny’s side and some innuendo-laced jokes on mine, but from there things seem to flow organically into something else.

  Something flirtatious and surprisingly…intimate.

  If I didn’t know for a fact that these messages were between an employer and his assistant, they could easily be read as the sexy banter of a couple. They’re practically foreplay. My hard-on for Penny has been staring me in the face from a computer screen for months and I had no idea that somewhere in my subconscious I’ve been fantasizing about what it would be like to have her.