Amber Eyes

by Mariana Reuter

  “Do so and inform me.”

  Fox left and the sheriff stood motionless for a large moment. He finally climbed in the ambulance again, standing still for some moments, contemplating me as I laid on the gurney. He licked his lips and wiped his hands on his trousers. “Laura told you, didn’t she?”

  The idea that Laura had spilled the truth made him both angry and concerned—the tone of his voice betrayed him. He looked around and found a stool. He sat by my gurney and sighed. A deep, long sigh. He picked a box of medicines from the floor and fidgeted with it, not daring to make eye contact with me.

  “No she didn’t,” I answered. “I sorta figured it out.”

  He frowned, just like Edward always did. “You… what?”

  “I said that I sorta figured it out.”

  He almost chocked. “Are you saying that you figured out that I’m your father and so you came here looking for me?”

  I suddenly felt angry. Was he supposing he was that important that I would come all the way here looking for him? “I came looking for my grandmother. Well, for Amanda Zimmerman, but she’s my grandmother anyway. I had no idea you were my father before I arrived here.”

  The sheriff frowned even more and his face turned ashen. “Who told you then? Somebody you met here in Abbeville?”

  This was not the I-missed-you-daughter conversation I had expected. The sheriff was more interested in learning how I found out he was my father than in anything else. The thought made me even angrier. Where had Edward’s duty-comes-first famous father gone?

  I sat up again, leaning on my elbows and fixing my eyes on his. I felt suddenly fed up. “Do you really wanna know how I figured it out?” I placed my hand on his and he retrieved it in a hurry like my contact was contagious. His bulging eyes, his lack of blinking, his tense muscles, hinted that he was about to run away screaming in panic. “Wanna know who told me, Dad ? Do you really wanna know? Well, I’ll tell you.” I pointed at the house with an arm. “They told me! Laura and Aaron, and all the ghosts that live there told me.”

  With an effort, he yanked his head and looked sideways, breaking our eye contact and shutting his eyes. “Your eyes… They’re like Laura’s, but worse. I can’t stand them.”

  Worse because he could see in them everything he and Laura had done wrong? Each of them played a different role in Aaron Zimmerman’s murder, either active or passive. In the end, they both killed him. I collapsed on the gurney, staring at the ambulance’s ceiling. I was breathing fast and a constant buzz rang in my ears.

  All this was stupid and I wanted it to end right now and be left alone. The words blurted out of my mouth and I couldn’t help it. “I hate you and I hate Laura.”

  The sheriff pulled a hand to his neck and unbuttoned his shirt’s first button, losing his tie. Still with his eyes closed and squeezing the bridge of this nose between his thumb and index finger, he asked, “What the hell happened here? Who was this Yago Morrison?”

  “Laura’s boyfriend.” My tone was as dry as a desert in the dry season. I was feeling very strange, like I was high because of smoking weed, except that I’d never smoked weed in my life before. I wanted to leave the ambulance and run through the forest until I found a place where I could cry and cry until I ran out of tears. “I ran away from Yago’s trailer because he tried to have sex with me. I came here and all I wanted was to find my grandma and live with her, but my grandma was not in town and Yago followed me.”

  The Sheriff opened his eyes and turned his head towards me, slower than a snail would, and I wondered if he was afraid. I sat up once again, resting on my elbows and once again our eyes locked. He shivered and gulped, but he held my gaze. It was due time for the truth. I wanted not to be like Laura, but I’d started the wrong way. I stated point blank. “Laura killed him. Or her ghost, or whatever it was back in the mansion. She pushed him out of the window.”

  “That’s impossible. Laura is not here,” he suddenly turned even whiter, “is she?”

  I shook my head. “She’s not… well, better see for yourself.”

  I bet he rarely came across a girl like me whose eyes could show him the entire story if he was brave enough to look. I concentrated on what had happened tonight drilling into his eyes with mine. The sheriff stood mesmerized not blinking at all—just like Daniel had. I only hoped he could watch another ‘movie in my eyes’. After a while, he took a large gulp of air.

  Still without breaking our eye contact, his trembling hand caressed my hair. “I’m so sorry, Alexandra.” His voice almost broke. “You’re life has been a nightmare. It was all Laura’s and my fault. I tried to save my butt and I never thought how much I’d harm you. I failed you. I am not a good cop, not even a good man. Covering up for Laura was so wrong.”

  I couldn’t tell what movie he’d just watched in my eyes. I breathed in a large puff of air. Were his apologies what I’d been looking for? Did I want him to crawl before me begging forgiveness? No. That was not my way. I almost made Edward go mad last night when he thought he’d kissed another boy. Moreover, Edward had left in an ambulance tonight because he’d tried to help me. I was not gonna allow another Torrent to suffer because of me. My mother had already caused them enough trouble. I put my hand on his and squeezed it hard. This time, he didn’t withdraw it. I needed to end this nightmare for once and for all—I knew I was the only one who could.

  I talked in a whisper. “Let’s do the following. We’ll keep our little secret between you and me and nobody will know you’re my dad. The only others who’d know are the ghosts and Laura, but I’m pretty sure the ghosts are gone forever after tonight, and Laura will never dare to come down here. You told her not to, remember?”

  The sheriff’s face turned ashen again. “Did she tell you?”

  “No, for God’s sake!” I pointed at the mansion again, or at least in the general direction I though the mansion stood. “It was the damned ghosts!” I opened my eyes wider and even tilted my body forward. I wanted him to see the movie as clearly as possible.

  The sheriff stood silent for a long while, staring at my eyes, concentrated. “God, how can all this be true? Where did all those ghosts came from?” He stared for another while. “That man went mad!”

  “My life has been shit.” I’d never gather the courage again to face the sheriff—or anybody else to be honest—like I was facing him now. “I wished things would have been different. I wish you guys had solved it in a different way so Mom didn’t have to leave our home.”

  He broke our eye contact without requiring my slapping of fingers and bearing the saddest expression in the world painted on his face. He sighed so deep I thought his soul had just abandoned him. He stood up, this time being so careful. “Now I know what happened tonight.” His shaky hand took mine and it was him the one who squeezed me. “You’re very brave. Edward would have died hadn’t it been for you, but I have to warn you—you guys cannot fall in love.”

  The damned movie in my eyes! I’d never planned to disclose that part of the story. Was there something I could keep to myself without my eyes broadcasting it to everybody?

  “I can’t be sure if you’re my daughter or not. Laura claimed you were. Truth is, I wasn’t Laura’s only lover. She was so frustrated with Aaron, she started to date more guys than you would imagine. She and I developed a strong connection and we even talked about fleeing town together…” He buried his face in his hands. “I’m not sure if I should tell you all this. We did wrong, very wrong. Later, I learned there were other men she dated in parallel. There’s also a good chance that you are actually Aaron Zimmerman’s daughter. Just in case, don’t fall in love with Edward.”

  He was right. He shouldn’t be telling me all that. Mom had not been a good person, but I didn’t want to judge her. What interested me the most was the possibility that he wasn’t my father and that Aaron Zimmerman, or somebody else, would be. In that case, I’d be free to fall in love with Edward.

  To fall in love… Had I really fallen in love with Edwar
d, with my possible brother? I enjoyed the way he kissed me, the way he held me, the way he touched me, and even the way I which he’d tried to protect me, not only tonight but since the very beginning when we met. I’d love to fall in love with him, only I couldn’t.

  It hurt. I wanted to yell, “Ouch!” It would have been wonderful if he could have been my boyfriend. Then it hit me. I’d already had a girlfriend. I already had somebody whom I could kiss and whom could hold me: Jenny. She had also protected me even though under different circumstances. All I needed was to ask for a cell phone and call her. By this time, she should have come back to town.

  No. I had no girlfriend. The girl in the mirror had been right, I was not gay. Jenny was my best friend, but nothing beyond that. I’d thought I loved her, and I’d thought I was into girls because I didn’t want to be like my mother. I didn’t want to be a total failure dating guy after guy, gorilla after gorilla. That was why I’d decided to look tomboyish and fall for another girl, because in the end, what I wanted was to be a boy so I couldn’t fail like Laura had.

  Now I knew what it meant to be a girl. Now I knew I enjoyed being one. Edward had been attracted to me, even when he thought I was a boy. Edward was not gay. He proved it when Daniel approached him. Edward had been attracted to me even under a disguise, even under a most tomboyish appearance that had deceived everybody. Why had he? One answer came to my mind: because I was a girl capable of attracting guys not matter what. Because I was striking. Because I smelled like a girl, behaved like a girl, thought like a girl, and quacked like a girl. Even the jock at the celebration had been attracted to me.

  I was not like Laura. I was no loser but a winner. The sheriff said there was a chance I was not Edward’s brother. I hoped not because it feels wrong that he would be.

  A cop appeared at the ambulance’s door. “Sheriff, sir, we have a problem.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “It’s Daniel Canfield. We’ve just received a 911 report from his parents. The kid—” The cop glanced at me.

  “What’s going on?” the sheriff barked. All his patience seemed to have drained out.

  “The kid hanged himself at home. I’m afraid he’s dead.”

  Omigod! I closed my eyes. Daniel. He did as he’d promised and had killed himself. Abbeville was cursed. Would it ever end?

  God, please, save Edward. Too many people have died in this place. It’s been enough.

  Epilogue July 5, Now

  Before the 4 of July, I couldn’t be sure if I was a teenage lesbian. Yes. I was a girl who dreamed of other girls—or at least of one in particular. Not anymore, though. I learned what it means to fall in love with a boy because I’m really attracted to him, rather than falling in love with a girl only because she protected me. Jenny is a wonderful friend, and I love her, but in the way in which you love your sister, not in the way in which you love your boyfriend.

  I’ll call Jenny and I’ll ask her to come her to visit me. Once she’s here, I’ll talk to her. It won’t be an easy conversation, but I won’t lie to her. She needs to know I won’t be her girlfriend. Her lips were hot, and she smelled awesome, but passion is not love. Nice is different than good.

  I have strong feelings for Edward, but there’s a good chance he might my half-brother, so common sense dictates I have to forget him. It hurts. Too much. More than I can stand. I’ll fight for him. I’ll stick to the chance that we might not be siblings.

  I’m now in a hospital, but there’s nothing to worry about. I’m fine. It’s just a damned broken leg and a coupla bruises. They put me a cast, which I’ll need to wear for five weeks. The uncomfortable part is that I’m only wearing one of those hospital white gowns that you tie on you back so everybody can see your butt each time you go to the restroom. Edward’s in this hospital too. He was shot and lost a lot of blood, but he made it and they say he’ll be okay.

  I don’t know what time is it. Midmorning, I guess. Sheriff Torrent visited me earlier—he may be my father and he may not, I’m hoping he’s not but love that he’s acting like one. He looked like crap, like he hadn’t sleep in three days and had the worst hangover in his whole life. He’s the one who told me Edward will be okay, which stole him a smile. He contacted my grandmother in Cancun last night. According to the sheriff, she seemed thrilled that I came to live with her. She promised to board the first available flight and to be back in Abbeville by tomorrow the latest. Nobody can tell if she’s really my grandmother, because nobody can tell if Aaron Zimmerman was really my father. I bet nobody told her this little fact, so I won’t either. Sheriff Torrent told me she’s been trying to adopt me for years, but Laura always prevented it. Grandma loved me. Now I remember all the time she and I spent together in Magnolia Hall, walking the woods, playing and sharing. She told me stories, put me to bed and sang me songs. I know she still loves me and that’s what counts.

  Daniel is dead. The sheriff explained me that too. He hanged himself last night. Nobody had a clue why he did it—save for Edward and me. Daniel should have known Edward would never have told he was gay and neither would I. Moreover, Daniel should have accepted himself, even if it meant facing bullying. It’s better than not—I now know how dangerous it is not to accept yourself. I’m very sad about him. At first, I hated him, but I ended up liking him after I understood what he was going through. I would have offered him a hand, but he never allowed me to be his friend. I dunno what else to say about him, only that I’m terribly sad…

  The sheriff talked about contacting Laura, but I asked him not to. I want to live with my grandmother. I want to live with someone who loves me, not with someone for whom I’ve always been a burden. I don’t hate Laura, though. I’d be like her if I don’t forgive her, so I’ve forgiven her. Besides… last night, her ghost said, ‘I can’t. Not anymore. Hope you can ever forgive me.’ Had she meant that she was mom’s actual ghost because she had died? I couldn’t be sure, but I didn’t want to find it out either.

  I’m not sure if somebody had told Edward about Daniel. Poor Edward. He’ll feel it was his fault, but I’ll be by his side to show him he had nothing to do with it. Edward is a wonderful person and he went through too many things this week, only because he cared too much about the people in his life. He saved my life last night so it’ll be my turn to return the favor. I’m a Boy Scout, and a scout is loyal, friendly, brave, and does his best to do his duty.

  Duty come first, self goes second.

  Besides, I said I’m actually in love with him, and my girl intuition says we’re not siblings.

  THE END

  A note to the reader

  First, thanks for taking a crack at this book. I really hope you enjoyed it.

  Second, I’d like to ask you a favour. I’d really appreciate a review in Amazon. I’m not looking for a quick-click five stars; I’m asking for your honest opinion of the book. Tell everybody what you liked about it and—more importantly—please tell what you didn’t. Both are helpful, but the latter will make me a better writer.

  Third, if, by chance, you really loved it, can you mention Amber Eyes on whatever social media you use?

  Thanks for reading, for reviewing, and for passing the word.

  Best Regards,

  Mariana Reuter

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  Acknowledgements

  Many thanks to all the people who encouraged me to write since I was kid. Special thanks to those who read my first detective stories, duly typed, marketed, and distributed by my wonderful mother: my cousin Yolanda, my cousin Silvia, my aunt Beatriz, my late aunt Estela, and a large list of uncles and aunts whom I’m sure received a copy. Do you still have those copies? Keep them, they will be worth a fortune in eBay soon. LOL!

  This story wouldn’t be what it is without the support of my fellow writers at The Next Big Writer (www.thenextbigwriter.com). It’s a fantastic site where both pros an
d amateurs can workshop their stories and receive candid, albeit critical, feedback. Out of all the people who helped me, I wish to highlight the valuable help received from:

  K Hippolite, mon cher ami canadien.

  R. M. Keegan, a wonderful editor.

  Nathan B. Childs, who claims to be grandfather but owns a youngster’s spirit and vitality.

  Don Chambers and Sheriff Norm, two wonderful friends.

  Lucy Crowe, my favourite firefighter.

  Andreas Wiesemann, the most sensible soul I’ve ever met.

  And John Hamler, quite a character.

  Finally, Laura Kingsley, my editor and friend, spent many hours teaching me how to become a better writer. She’s tough; believe me when I say I had some very hard times working with her, rewriting chapter after chapter. I’m totally grateful for her huge support and patience.

  Table of Contents

  Amber Eyes

  June 27 12:12 pm

  June 27 4:44 pm

  June 29

  June 30 12:29 pm

  July 1

  July 2, 1:36 am

  July 2, 1:59 am

  July 2, 2:30 am

  July 2, sometime before sunrise

  July 2, 8:23 am

  July 2, 8:49 am

  July 2, 9:53 am

  July 2, 10:41 am

  July 2, 11:21 am

  July 2, 11:32 pm

  July 3, 00:06 am

  July 3, 00:34 am

  July 3, 6:32 am

  July 3, 7:23 am

  July 3, 11:13 pm

  July 4, 00:17 pm

  July 4, 00:33 am

  July 4, 6:53 am

  The 4 of July

  July 4, 7:49 pm

  July 4, 8:21 pm

  July 4, 9:38 pm

  July 4, 10:39 pm