Answers For Julie (Book Nine In the Bodyguards of L.A. County Series)

by Cate Beauman

  She craned her head toward the slightly open door. “You don’t have a couch out there, do you?”

  He chuckled. “Not quite, but I think you’ll like what I have. Stay here.” He started walking away, and she took his hand, pulling him back.

  “You’re very sweet.” She kissed him.

  This was what he’d wanted—easy smiles, the sparkle in her eyes. “I think maybe I just love you.”

  Her eyes softened. “I love you too.” She cupped his cheeks and brought his mouth to hers. “So, so much,” she whispered against his lips.

  He eased her away, wanting to show her the rest. “We’ll pick this up. Promise. Just give me a couple of minutes.”

  “Okay.”

  He went outside, hopped up on the back left SUV tire, fought with the cording securing the tree in place, and pulled it down, leaving the expansive five-footer on the small porch. Then he went back to the trunk for the dozen bags, loading himself up. Walking inside, he set them on the floor. “No peeking.”

  “No peeking,” she assured.

  He hustled out and came back in with the tree. “I thought we should probably have this.”

  Her eyes went huge. “A Christmas tree.”

  “Every house should have one.”

  “Yes, it should. This is so great.”

  “There’s a stand in that last bag closest to the window.”

  She rushed forward and got it out. “We didn’t trim the trunk.”

  “I had them do it at the lot.”

  “Good thinking.”

  “Good ideas cross my mind on occasion.”

  She grinned as they settled the tree in place, putting it in the corner where she suggested last night.

  He grabbed out the waving Santa tree skirt he’d chosen, settled it around the bottom, took out the presents he’d had wrapped for her, and stuck them underneath.

  Swallowing, she looked at him. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

  He picked up on the notes of tension in her voice. “I wanted to. We’ll have to string the lights and decorate after dinner.”

  “I haven’t started anything yet.” She crossed her arms. “I didn’t realize you were coming home early.”

  “Just a little early.” He pulled her against him. “I thought I would cook for you—one of Sophie’s recipes.” He kissed the tip of her nose, her temples, wanting to banish whatever had made her uncomfortable with gentle affection. “If you want, we could grab tickets to a movie after.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think I’m in the mood for going out tonight.”

  He slid his hands over her butt as her breathing grew uneven. “Even better.” He palmed her breasts as she fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. “You know, there’s a new rug on the floor. I’m pretty sure you mentioned something about christening all the new furniture items.”

  She smiled. “I believe I did.” She kissed him. “That rug’s pretty big.”

  “We should probably get started.”

  “We really should.” She pulled him with her to the floor.

  Grinning, he lifted her shirt, pausing for her to take his off. “I like the way we’re starting our night.” Their tongues met in a frenzy. “Really like this, Jules.”

  She moaned her response and went to work on his slacks.

  He tugged off her yoga pants and socks. “Christ, I want you.” He took care of her panties next.

  She wrapped her fingers around his wrist. “Come on back up this way.”

  “Let me get rid of these first.” He slid out of his pants and boxers and kissed her stomach, making quick work of her bra. “Maybe we should slow things down a little. It’s only a new rug once.”

  “I don’t want to take our time.” She pulled him down on top of her. “The rug’s not going anywhere,” she said breathlessly as she nipped his shoulder.

  “Good point.” He pushed his way inside her and groaned.

  “Fast,” she moaned next to his ear.

  He pumped faster and she tipped her head back, whimpering.

  “Hard.”

  He reared up with her demand, gripped her hips, and gladly gave her what she asked for.

  Heat flashed in her eyes as she tensed, calling out. “More. More.”

  “Jules,” he grit out, covering her again, settling his weight on his forearms and thrust on, sensing the restless edge in her lovemaking.

  She wrapped her legs around him, urging him to hurry with her hips as flesh slapped against flesh, and he could wait no longer. Nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck, he groaned and jerked, emptying himself inside of her.

  She slid her fingers through his hair, catching her breath. “I knew this was going to be a great rug.”

  He grinned. “And we still have a good two-thirds of this thing to go.”

  “Ambitious.” She smiled.

  He frowned, realizing it didn’t reach her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  He pressed his lips together, studying her. “I’m going to have to call bullshit.”

  She sighed. “Why do you have to know me so well?”

  “One of the true burdens of real intimacy.” He tucked the loose strands of hair behind her ear. “What’s going on, Jules?”

  She shrugged.

  “Something’s eating at you.”

  “The lawyer called before you came home.”

  He steamed out a breath, already knowing where this was going to go. “Noah’s going to be a dick.”

  “He and his legal representation don’t feel that our testing is sufficient evidence to prove my maternity,” she mocked in a stuffy tone.

  “Dick,” he muttered. “I’m sorry he’s going to make this harder on you.”

  Scoffing, she shook her head. “Maybe I should just leave it where it is. I know I’m Neve’s daughter. That’s enough.”

  “That’s a decision you’ll have to make, but I’d hate to see that bastard win.” More than anything, he wanted to knock Noah Porter down a few pegs. Self-righteous prick.

  “It’s not about winning or losing; it’s about me getting on with my life.”

  “We’ll do it however you want. I’ll be here with you either way.”

  “I know.” She kissed him.

  “Let’s forget about Noah for a while.”

  “Have you made any progress with the rest of the case? With who you think is trying to hurt me?”

  He clenched his jaw. “No, but I talked to the DA today. He’s working on getting Donnie Dorman a deal.”

  She traced the vein on his forearm. “Eventually I have to go home. I have to get back to work.”

  “I know. Just give me a little more time.”

  “That’s about all the time I have.”

  “We’re going to get it figured out.”

  She nodded.

  Enough of this. “How about I make dinner for you—beef broccoli stir fry. It’s not exactly a Christmas-type meal, but it’s one of the dishes I can make pretty well.”

  She smiled. “It sounds wonderful.”

  He kissed her long and sweet. “Then we’re going to have to get down to decorating that tree.”

  She wrapped her arms around him before he could move. “In just a minute. I’m not ready to let you go yet.”

  He kissed her forehead. “That’s fine with me.”

  “Thank you for making this so special.”

  He settled his forehead against hers. “Anything for you, Jules.”

  Chapter Forty-three

  Julie lay cozy in Chase’s arms, staring out at the city lights through the big picture windows. She turned her head, glancing at the bedside clock, and sighed. It was 3:32 a.m., and she couldn’t sleep. Her restless racing thoughts and dreams of Neve lying dead in the snow kept plaguing her. Each time she dozed off and woke, she automatically snuggled closer to Chase, which worried her. Things between them were better than they’d ever been, but she was getting too used to being with him.
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  Their night together had been perfect—talking and laughing while they prepared dinner, decorating the pretty blue spruce Chase had brought home, and christening another third of the rug shortly after, but it was the presents he’d nestled beneath the tree that continued to bother her. Gifts sitting on the tree skirt meant he expected her to be here Christmas morning to open them. There was no way she could stay for almost another week.

  She looked toward the master bathroom, spotting her bottles and other personal items mixed among his in the glow of the nightlight. After washing a couple loads of laundry yesterday, her clothes had found their way into his drawers instead of back in her suitcases. She nibbled her lip as her apprehension grew, realizing she and Chase were playing a dangerous game of house. And it needed to end.

  As much as she loved eating evening meals in the chair next to his and waking in his arms every morning, this wasn’t her place. This wasn’t her life. Her home was in Washington. Everything she’d worked for was hundreds of miles away. The studio and career she’d made for herself were slipping away. Chase was becoming her whole life again at the expense of whom she’d carved herself out to be when he walked away from her so carelessly.

  Chase had been everything she’d needed over the last few weeks—loving and supportive. Her warrior. She smiled, remembering Neve’s description of him. As the days passed, she realized her warrior was overprotective. He wanted to banish all things bad from her life and shield her from anything that could possibly hurt her, but doing so wasn’t possible, nor was it necessary. Being here in California, enjoying a little slice of normal, had helped her steady out some and gain clarity over her situation. As much as Chase believed her to be in danger, she wasn’t so sure she agreed. She’d traveled the streets of the Palisades, shopped, even taken walks on her own. No one waited to harm her when she stepped into Chase’s house alone. There was no doubt she’d encountered a string of bad luck in Newton, but that certainly didn’t mean someone was trying to kill her.

  Easing out of Chase’s arms, she sat up, looking at his handsome face in the splash of moonlight. As much as she wanted to give Chase more time—give them more time to be together, she needed to go. Her life was waiting; her livelihood was on the line. Long ago, she’d put the boy she loved first. Over the years, she’d vowed she would never overlook her own needs again.

  For days, they’d been wrapped up in one another. Now it was time to see what they could do with a four-hour plane ride standing between them. Time would be their friend or enemy. Distance would make them stronger or rip them apart. She needed to see which cards were their fate, and that couldn’t happen if she stayed.

  Chase kept reassuring her they would make things work, but the odds were against them. Having a live-in girlfriend was one thing. Coming home and making love on a new rug was great. But what about long-term commitments? She wanted marriage, a home, and children more than anything; she had no idea if Chase wanted the same, but after such a short time together, how could she bring that up?

  With her mind made up, knowing what she needed to do, she lay back down and rolled over, refusing to settle in his arms again. Tomorrow night, she would sleep alone. It was time to start getting used to that.

  ~~~~

  Chase opened his eyes to the cloudy gray morning and light drizzle hitting the roof, reaching for Julie. He frowned, realizing her side of the bed was cold. “Jules?”

  She popped her head in through the doorway, already dressed in jeans and a sweater. “I’m right here.”

  “You’re up early, and it’s raining. Come back to bed,” he said, smiling and reaching out his hand to her. “We’ll get you out of those clothes.”

  “I can’t. I have to go home.”

  His smile vanished as he recognized the hint of apology in her tone. “What?”

  “I need to get back to Washington.” She went to the closet and pulled out her suitcase.

  He sat up, yanking back the sheet and stood with the first stirrings of panic. “Jules, you can’t go.”

  She unzipped her luggage. “I have to.”

  “I still haven’t found—”

  “I’m not in danger.” She paused, looking at him. “The stuff at Neve’s was just a series of crappy coincidences.” She pulled her tops and pants from the drawers he’d emptied out for her.

  “We can’t be sure.”

  “You’re right, I guess. But nothing’s happened here.”

  “No one knows you’re here. The media thinks you’re in Boston.” He slid on a pair of jeans and a shirt in the slight morning chill. “Jules—”

  “I’m going to stay with Bryce and Mindy for a while just to be sure, and Leila will be with me during the day.”

  Clearly she’d planned all this out. He snagged her arm, desperate to talk some sense into her. “Jules—”

  “I can’t stay here, Chase. I’m on the verge of losing my business, if it isn’t too late already. I’m dipping into my savings to pay the bills. My massage clients were dwindling before I took two weeks off.”

  “I’ll front you your losses. Just stay for a couple more days.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t want your money; I can make my own in Washington. Besides, I’ve already booked my flight. I leave at ten.”

  He gaped at her. She couldn’t have blindsided him more if she’d punched him in the face. “This morning?”

  She nodded.

  He looked at the bedroom clock. “That’s in three hours.”

  “I know. It was the only thing I could get on such short notice.” She tossed socks and panties in among her other items. “I need to head to the airport soon with all of the traffic. I’ve never seen so much traffic,” she said more to herself than him as she got back to her task of gathering her stuff.

  “We’re making headway. I have the lists of who was at the balls and funeral; Ethan sent them over last night while you were in the shower. We’ve narrowed them down.”

  “I appreciate all that you’ve done, that you’re doing.”

  She sounded so cold, so matter of fact, as if last night and the time they’d shared together meant nothing at all. “So that’s it? No discussion. You’re just gone?”

  “Yes.” She went to the bathroom for her stuff. “We have to stop this.”

  He shoved his fingers through his hair as his shock turned into frustration. “Stop what?”

  “Playing house.”

  “Playing house?”

  “Yes. I need to put my life back together. We need time to see if we can even make this work. What if we’re trying to hold on to something that ended ten years ago?”

  Her words were a kick to his balls.

  “We need time to build something solid,” she continued.

  He scrubbed his hands over his face. “We have something solid.”

  “For now. While we’re right here together. This part is easy.” She sighed. “I’m losing myself in you again.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means I need my life back. Just mine. Just Julie Keller’s. I need my yoga studio and my massage clients—the place I made for myself when you and I didn’t work out.”

  “What about the life we’re trying to build together? I thought we were working on that.”

  “We are. But now we need to try that with a good dose of reality mixed in.”

  “You mean with a plane ride between us.”

  “That’s our reality.” She zipped her bag. “Give me a couple of days to settle back in, and we’ll come up with our first rendezvous point.”

  No. Dammit. “What about our tree and Christmas?”

  She shook her head. “I can’t stay that long. Not like this.”

  “Like what?” he snapped.

  “With everything up in the air.”

  “I love you,” he said, smoothing out his voice.

  “I love you too.”

  “I can’t come with you this time.” He held her by the arms, staring into her eyes. “I c
an’t come with you, Jules, not even to the airport. I have that thing in Anaheim today.”

  “I know.” Swallowing, she rested her forehead against his chest.

  He wrapped her up in a hug. “I’m worried about you.”

  “I know that too.” She drew away. “Bryce is meeting me at the airport. He and Mindy already have their guest room ready for me.”

  He absorbed the next punch of anger as she mentioned Bryce for the second time—her wingman always ready and willing to take his place. “So you’ve made your decision, and this is how it’s going to be?”

  She nodded. “This is how I need it to be.” She cupped his cheeks in her hands. “Please try to understand. We’ll get together when you get home from Iraq.”

  He dropped his hands from around her waist. “Will you come here?”

  She shrugged. “If I can get away.”

  He clenched his jaw beneath her palms, well aware Julie was pulling away from him. He stepped back from her touch. “I guess I’ll see you around, Julie.” He pressed a rough kiss to her lips. “Safe flight. Text me so I know Bryce picked you up.” He grabbed socks from the drawer and his sneakers.

  She blinked. “You’re leaving?”

  “Life goes on, right? You’ve got work. I’ve got work.” He walked down the short hall to the living room.

  She followed close at his heels. “Chase.”

  He stopped as her voice trembled, and he turned, staring at her as she clutched her arms folded at her chest while her eyes brimmed with tears.

  “Please don’t walk away from me like this.”

  He focused on his anger instead of the deep ache in his heart. “I’m pretty sure you’re the one doing the walking this time, Jules,” he tossed out. He turned and shut the door, getting in his SUV and leaving before he walked back inside and begged her to stay.

  Chapter Forty-four

  Julie sniffled and wiped her eyes as she traveled south toward the airport. She’d waited at Chase’s house for as long as she could, hoping he would come back, but he didn’t. Shaking her head, she sucked in another shuddering breath. Here they were again, back where they’d been so long ago. He’d tossed her a pithy remark and left, just like he had ten years ago. “Forget you, Chase,” she murmured and gripped the steering wheel tighter in the busy morning traffic.