by Jillian Neal
Holly nodded her agreement as they heard Jessie shouting through the door and shared a curious glance.
A moment later, Jessie appeared, looking rather pleased with herself. “All right now, Everett’s gonna talk to my sweet but stubborn-as-mud nephew, and I’m gonna talk with you.”
“Thank you for coming by, and thank you for the soup. It’s delicious. I’m pretty sure I’m just not cut out for ranch life. I’m weak.” Hope shrugged.
Holly shook her head, and Jessie glared at Natalie. “Wonder where on earth she got that idea.”
It appeared that Jessie knew precisely where Hope had struck upon the idea that she was weak. Jessie shook her head at Natalie. “I’ve a good mind to take a 2x4 to your little butt, too, Natalie Marie. Both of you listen to me. Not one of these crazy-ass cowboys or cowgirls in this town have ever done half of the things you’ve survived, Hope. You gathered yourself up and took care of your little sister after your parents were killed. You survived umpteen-hundred tropical storms and hurricanes back in that beach town. You opened your own business and kept it afloat. You showed my nephew what things in life really matter. You taught him how to love, and maybe more importantly than that, taught him that he is loveable. And when you figured out what his daddy and all of them coaches and principals had done, letting Brock’s education slide so he could play ball, you marched yourself right on in there and told them all just what you thought of that. You’re brave as hell, woman. Don’t ever let me hear you say you aren’t.
“On top of all that, you agreed to move out here to the middle of nowhere so Brock could have back what he lost when he was a kid. None of those things are weak. The way you love him, that’s a strength most women can’t even fathom. Things’ll settle down. You’ll see. Did I ever tell you the story of how I met Everett Camden?” A gleam lit Jessie’s eyes, and her smile seemed to erase ten years from her age.
Grinning in spite of herself, Hope shook her head. Holly wrapped blankets around Hope’s shoulders. Her mother nodded, and they each retrieved blankets for themselves.
Memories visibly painted themselves on the canvases of Jessie’s kind brown eyes. “I was the top buyer in men’s fashion for Dillard’s Department stores out of Denver back in the day. I took over sales in the Midwest when I was only 23. Youngest buyer in Dillard’s history. To tell you the truth, I’d never been outside of Denver, other than to take a few road-trips with my girlfriends to Vegas, but the stores in Lincoln and Omaha weren’t turning over inventory, especially in the men’s departments like they were in our other stores in the mid-west. If they didn’t show a profit by the end of June that year, corporate was going to close one, or the other, or both. I was sent to see if I could figure out what men in this area were looking for so we could make better buys, offer better sales, and hopefully save the stores.
“Anyway.” Jessie stood and made Hope a glass of water before continuing. “I left Omaha and headed west towards Lincoln, or at least that had been my plan. Only I got turned around three ways from Sunday out here on these country roads. It was way past dark. This was long before cell phones, and I didn’t have a clue on this good Lord’s earth where I was or how to get back to civilization. Like a dumbass, I kept driving. I drove until I ran smack out of gas on rural route 276. I saw no other option other than to sit on the side of the road and cry. I hadn’t seen another car in well over an hour.
“Just as I’d worked myself up into a good fit, this gorgeous cowboy and two of his friends were tapping on my car window. I screamed, naturally, but eventually calmed down and got out of my car. I will never forget the worried look in Everett’s eyes. Nobody in Denver, and certainly no one in Vegas had ever looked at me, concerned like that. My parents never did give much care as to whether I was all right or not. I took care of myself, and I liked it that way.
“Well, Ev explained that he could get me some gas, but that the stations wouldn’t be open until morning, and if I wouldn’t mind coming back with him to his family’s ranch, that they’d be obliged to put me up for the night and get me a warm meal. I was terrified to climb up in that truck cab with three cowboys, but didn’t have much choice. It was either that or freeze to death on the side of the road, so off I went.
“I met Everett’s mama and daddy, and something kept Ev and me eyeballing one another while we ate. He took me out horseback riding. Even though it was darn brisk that evening, I don’t remember feeling the cold. I just remember him.
“Anyway, I met his asinine brother, Mick. He wasn’t any better then than he was when you knew him. He scared me, but I kept coming up with excuses to delay my trip to Lincoln, to spend more time with Ev. Told my boss I was studying up on what men in the area were wearing. Finally, at risk of losing my job, I made the trip to Lincoln, but I came back to the ranch that night at Ev’s pleading. I just never wanted to leave, and I swunney the town ran their mouths ‘til their tongues were blue about Ev and me shacking up at the ranch. People didn’t do things like that back then. Finally, I quit that fancy job in Denver, but people in Pleasant Glen still didn’t care for me. According to them, I was too uppity. It’s always something. They like to try and pick you apart to see what you’re made of. Eventually, they figured I was here to stay, and if they wanted to do business with Camden Ranch they might think about being nice, since Ev was taking over the family business.” Jessie gave Hope a consolatory wink.
“Well, yeah, but I bet no one in town ever saw the really racy lingerie you stupidly ordered.” Hope’s face flooded with another round of heat.
Holly and Jessie both laughed. Natalie rolled her eyes.
“Hope, darlin’ let me finish my story.”
“Sorry,” she apologized.
“Remember, I had a fancy department store job in the big city. See, Mick was always jealous of Ev. He was fit to be tied that Ev was marrying before he was. One day, I had a big shipment of lingerie samples sent up from the Denver store. I had in my mind I was gonna give Everett Camden a fashion show for his birthday then give him the night of his life. Well, Mick, signed for the packages. Naturally, Miles had opened the boxes, so Mick knew exactly what was in there. Ev and I had gone to Ogalla to pick out our rings. Meanwhile, outta pure spite that his brother was getting some and he wasn’t, Mick took all of the boxes out to the cow pastures. You can imagine what my lingerie looked like by the time the cows got through stomping and chewing up the boxes. And dang it all if one of the steers didn’t wind up with a black lacey pair of panties on his head that made him crazy. Covered one of his eyes. Cows don’t like that. He ran through a fence with it. Cowboys were out chasing that steer in my undergarments three ranches over.” Jessie shook her head at the memory. “I never thought I’d recover. There was even a picture of the cow with my panties on its head in the paper.”
“Oh, my gosh!” Hope couldn’t help but laugh.
“See, now it’s funny, but when it’s happening it doesn’t feel so funny. Here’s a little trick I’ve learned in my time on this planet — If you’ll be able to laugh about it someday, try to go ahead and laugh about it now. It’s not worth stewing, and fuming, and wasting life over it. People will talk about our idiot mailman and your lingerie for a little while then they’ll move on to something else. There’ll be somebody else to pick apart to see what they’re made of. You’ll see, Hope. There’s a place on this ranch and in this town for you, sweetheart. We just have to find the right spot.”
Smiling, Hope nodded her agreement.
“Something else I forgot to tell you about that lingerie.” Jessie smirked. “Luke was born seven months after the night my lingerie made it into the paper. I was already pregnant, but I wasn’t gonna let that stop me from living my life. Besides, I probably wouldn’t have had five kids back to back if Ev didn’t think I was some-kinda sexy when I was pregnant. I ‘spect his nephew feels the same way about you.”
“So, you think it’s okay to wear lingerie like that even though I’m pregnant?” Hope was astonished.
�
�Honey, life out here on a cattle ranch will get mighty boring if we don’t ever do anything fun. Hell yes, I think you should wear that lingerie for Brock. God knows he’ll love it, and love is where babies come from, isn’t it? Love’s what makes this whole world go round and round. Love’s the only thing worth having anyway.
“Don’t let some preconceived notion of pregnancy keep you from being you, Hope. Women have been birthing babies since the dawn of time. Take everything with a grain of salt, and I am right here on this ranch day in and day out. Ask me questions. Let me help you. We’re so thrilled you and Brock are here with us. We love you. We want you to be part of our family. That’s the way we survive out here where the cows wear lingerie, the mailman’s half-loon, and the sheriff’s deputy took a squat in the cornfield and came up with more than he bargained for. This town may be crazy, but it’s full of good people. I may not let Pearl and Sally come anywhere near my hair, but they’d do anything in the world for ya. Miles, too, as crazy as he is. We’re all just trying to make a life out here in the middle of nowhere. We need each other. We get by together.”
Suddenly, Hope found herself wanting a chance to become a part of this crazy town. It was full of good people. Lately, she’d focused on the not-so-nice ones, and that wasn’t fair, either.
“Okay, now it’s my turn,” Holly jumped into the conversation. “I’m a psychology major, so I’m going to diagnose you.”
“Just listen to her. It’s good for her self-esteem,” Jessie teased just to keep Hope laughing.
“I want to listen to her. I’m tired of feeling so lost. Thank you both for all of this.”
“Oh, honey, we’re not finished yet. I’m about to go out and make sure Ev’s talkin’ and Brock’s listenin’,” Jessie assured.
Holly rolled her eyes at her mother then turned her attention to Hope. “So, every time I’ve been home since you moved up here, you’ve seemed out of sorts and maybe even a little depressed. Mama would say you lost your sunshine.” Holly winked at her mother, who nodded her agreement.
“It seems like you kind of gave up your whole life when you moved here, and for some reason you seem to think that’s what you were supposed to do. You forgot to figure out what makes you smile, Hope. You and only you. You forgot to be yourself, and you forgot to take time to relocate your joy after you moved here. You need to find things you want to do. You’re still thinking all your joy is back on the beach. This is an entirely different life, and I wonder if you’re not still trying to live just the way you and Brock lived back on the beach. Maybe it’s time to embrace the new. You might like it. You never know.”
‘Sometimes I feel like while we’re in the car is the only time I get to see you smile lately.’ Brock’s words replayed in her mind. “Yeah, I think you’re right. You’re pretty smart, you know that?” Hope offered Holly a grin.
“Well, I grew up listening to Mama give advice to every rancher’s wife from here to Wyoming. I picked up a few things.”
Jessie laughed. “All right, why don’t you two head up to the farmhouse. It’s too cold for her down here. I promise you, Hope, if Brock doesn’t teach you to drive in all this snow, I will. But for now, you need to get warm and rest, and we’re going out to check our numb-nutted bull.” She jerked Natalie up out of her chair. “I have a few more things to say but they’re all for my daughter here.”
Natalie withered under her mother’s glare.
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry I was rude to you yesterday. I shouldn’t have been. I was annoyed that I kept having to drive you places, and my mouth gets the better of me. Brock and I were never that close, and now he’s here running things. It irked me.”
“It’s okay, but I’m annoyed you keep having to drive me places, too, and Brock’s not here to take over anything other than his part. We’re family. You can be nice.” Hope didn’t have the energy to be angry at Natalie anymore. She was having a baby. It didn’t even matter what Natalie said. Hope wasn’t weak, but proving that to Natalie wasn’t important. Proving it to herself was.
“Yes, you certainly can be nice,” Jessie commanded.
“Wait?!” Hope gasped as realization settled in her mind. “Numb-nutted bull? Is that what you said?”
“Yeah, Brock paid hand over fist for a prize bull with a golden sac of semen at that sale from one of the only cowboys that’d agree to do business with him — all because cowboys can hold a grudge like nobody I’ve ever seen, and they all wanted to punish Brock for Mick’s dealings. Anyway, damn bull got the brilliant idea of laying down in the snow, and his dick froze to the ground. As you can imagine, he’s not a happy camper. I don’t know who I felt sorrier for, Brock or the bull.” Jessie and Natalie bundled up and headed out to check the herds.
Hope’s mind whirled with all of the problems her husband had been facing entirely on his own. She hadn’t been there to listen or to help because she’d been so caught up trying to recreate their life from Gypsy Beach. Brock wasn’t the only one that hadn’t been acting like they were a team.
“Come on. Let’s go up to the house. We can watch movies and maybe go to Saddleback’s for dinner if Brock and Daddy aren’t finished working yet. Some friends of mine will be up there. I want to introduce you. Mama’ll be back up at the house soon. Trust me, it doesn’t take much to get her talking about birthing all of us. That’ll help, and it’s warm up there.”
Taking inventory of herself, Hope knew she didn’t want to be alone. It was freezing in their house again, and she still hadn’t sorted through the shock of finding out she was pregnant. Knowing she could ask Jessie questions gave her peace like nothing else had. She wasn’t sure she was up to dinner out, but somehow she did feel better. She downed another one of those wonderful red pills, bundled up, and climbed in Holly’s truck.
Chapter Twelve
Exhaustion weighted Brock’s entire body as he pressed a warm compress as far under the bull as he could manage. Austin tried to keep the bull calm while Ev and Luke worked with compresses on the other side. Suddenly, the bull bellowed and stood. Everyone backed up, watching the hot breath curl from his nostrils as he kicked with his right hind foot.
“Whoa there, you’re okay now,” Brock eased.
“Leave him be for a little while,” Ev urged as they all backed carefully out of the pen.
“Hey Brock,” Grant called as soon as they’d safely escaped.
“Yeah?” Brock still couldn’t believe his day.
“Another tree came down on the other side of the big creek. Took out a huge section of fence. We gotta go fix it. I’m running out of places to keep the Gilbert’s cattle away from ours.”
Brock’s head sank, and he fought not to whimper aloud.
“All right, you three go start getting Gilbert’s cattle immunized.” Ev directed Grant, Luke, and Austin. “Clearly, if they haven’t had their shots, he needs our help. Then two of ya go pick up Grant’s truck back in town. Maybe we’ll all eat out at Saddlebacks. This day’s beat all I’ve ever seen. Brock and I’ll will fix the fence. We need to talk anyway.”
Exerting more energy than he was certain he had at the moment, Brock furrowed his brow and then glanced back in the direction of the cottage. He’d had four hours of sleep in the last 30, and he had to get back to Hope.
“Your aunt’s taking good care of her. You and I need to chat,” Ev answered the unspoken question.
“Yeah, and you gotta wake up if you’re gonna make use of the lingerie your wife ordered.” Austin laughed as he headed towards his truck to drive to the back pastures.
“Fuck off, man. Why couldn’t you just have let Miles leave it here? She’ll probably never show her face anywhere ever again.”
“Come on, you know we didn’t send him back to town with it. He asked us if you or Hope were here. We said we thought you’d gone into town. He didn’t reveal what he was delivering until after we’d said that. We tried to stop him. He was very insistent that Hope get it since it was damaged.” Austin couldn’t quite contain hi
s laughter.
Brock believed Grant had tried to stop him. He wasn’t so sure Austin had helped, however. Grant had always been the peacemaker between all of his siblings. He tried to help Luke take care of everyone. They were the oldest brothers and shouldered their responsibilities well.
Luke shook his head. “Tell Hope people will forget about it soon enough. It’s not the kind of scandal that people latch onto here. A newlywed bought lingerie. Who cares? How is that news?”
Brock prayed that was true. Convincing his wife that it really wasn’t that big of a deal would be another thing entirely, however. It killed him that she’d tried to spread her developing sexual wings, and it had ended with an entire drugstore full of people laughing at her fifteen minutes after being told she was very unexpectedly expecting. If he were being completely truthful, it pissed him the fuck off that something meant to be shared between the two of them, something for his eyes only, had been seen by every person inside Wilton’s Drug Store.
“Come on, son. We need to talk.” Uncle Ev headed inside the barn. Brock begrudgingly followed. They loaded up fencing posts and heavy gauge wire in the back of Ev’s pickup and headed towards the downed fence as the sun began its trek towards the western horizon.
Chapter Thirteen
The distinct feeling that he was about to be on the receiving end of one of his uncle’s long, notorious lectures had Brock on edge. Couldn’t anyone give him a break that day?
“You’re a smart fellow, so there’s a half-decent chance you already know some of what I’m about to say, but your aunt’s gonna skin me alive if I don’t get all of this out, and when a man goes on long enough being a stubborn dumbass, that automatically gives his kin license to say their piece.”
