The Gambler

by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

she was keeping me for some end which she had in view.

  Consequently there became established between us relations

  which, to a large extent, were incomprehensible to me,

  considering her general pride and aloofness. For example,

  although she knew that I was madly in love with her, she allowed

  me to speak to her of my passion (though she could not well have

  showed her contempt for me more than by permitting me,

  unhindered and unrebuked, to mention to her my love).

  "You see," her attitude expressed, "how little I regard your

  feelings, as well as how little I care for what you say to me,

  or for what you feel for me." Likewise, though she spoke as

  before concerning her affairs, it was never with complete

  frankness. In her contempt for me there were refinements.

  Although she knew well that I was aware of a certain

  circumstance in her life of something which might one day cause

  her trouble, she would speak to me about her affairs (whenever

  she had need of me for a given end) as though I were a slave or

  a passing acquaintance--yet tell them me only in so far as one

  would need to know them if one were going to be made temporary

  use of. Had I not known the whole chain of events, or had she

  not seen how much I was pained and disturbed by her teasing

  insistency, she would never have thought it worthwhile to

  soothe me with this frankness--even though, since she not

  infrequently used me to execute commissions that were not only

  troublesome, but risky, she ought, in my opinion, to have been

  frank in ANY case. But, forsooth, it was not worth her while to

  trouble about MY feelings--about the fact that I was uneasy, and,

  perhaps, thrice as put about by her cares and misfortunes as she

  was herself!

  For three weeks I had known of her intention to take to

  roulette. She had even warned me that she would like me to play

  on her behalf, since it was unbecoming for her to play in

  person; and, from the tone of her words I had gathered that there

  was something on her mind besides a mere desire to win money. As

  if money could matter to HER! No, she had some end in view, and

  there were circumstances at which I could guess, but which I did

  not know for certain. True, the slavery and abasement in which

  she held me might have given me (such things often do so) the

  power to question her with abrupt directness (seeing that,,

  inasmuch as I figured in her eyes as a mere slave and nonentity,

  she could not very well have taken offence at any rude

  curiosity); but the fact was that, though she let me question

  her, she never returned me a single answer, and at times did not

  so much as notice me. That is how matters stood.

  Next day there was a good deal of talk about a telegram which,

  four days ago, had been sent to St. Petersburg, but to which

  there had come no answer. The General was visibly disturbed and

  moody, for the matter concerned his mother. The Frenchman, too,

  was excited, and after dinner the whole party talked long and

  seriously together--the Frenchman's tone being extraordinarily

  presumptuous and offhand to everybody. It almost reminded one of

  the proverb, "Invite a man to your table, and soon he will

  place his feet upon it." Even to Polina he was brusque almost to

  the point of rudeness. Yet still he seemed glad to join us in

  our walks in the Casino, or in our rides and drives about the

  town. I had long been aware of certain circumstances which bound

  the General to him; I had long been aware that in Russia they

  had hatched some scheme together although I did not know whether

  the plot had come to anything, or whether it was still only in

  the stage of being talked of. Likewise I was aware, in part, of

  a family secret--namely, that, last year, the Frenchman had

  bailed the General out of debt, and given him 30,000 roubles

  wherewith to pay his Treasury dues on retiring from the service.

  And now, of course, the General was in a vice -- although the

  chief part in the affair was being played by Mlle. Blanche. Yes,

  of this last I had no doubt.

  But WHO was this Mlle. Blanche? It was said of her that she was

  a Frenchwoman of good birth who, living with her mother,

  possessed a colossal fortune. It was also said that she was some

  relation to the Marquis, but only a distant one a cousin, or

  cousin-german, or something of the sort. Likewise I knew that,

  up to the time of my journey to Paris, she and the Frenchman had

  been more ceremonious towards our party--they had stood on a much

  more precise and delicate footing with them; but that now their

  acquaintanceship--their friendship, their intimacy--had taken on a

  much more off-hand and rough-and-ready air. Perhaps they thought

  that our means were too modest for them, and, therefore, unworthy

  of politeness or reticence. Also, for the last three days I had

  noticed certain looks which Astley had kept throwing at Mlle.

  Blanche and her mother; and it had occurred to me that he must

  have had some previous acquaintance with the pair. I had even

  surmised that the Frenchman too must have met Mr. Astley before.

  Astley was a man so shy, reserved, and taciturn in his manner

  that one might have looked for anything from him. At all events

  the Frenchman accorded him only the slightest of greetings, and

  scarcely even looked at him. Certainly he did not seem to be

  afraid of him; which was intelligible enough. But why did Mlle.

  Blanche also never look at the Englishman?--particularly since,

  a propos of something or another, the Marquis had declared the

  Englishman to be immensely and indubitably rich? Was not that a

  sufficient reason to make Mlle. Blanche look at the Englishman?

  Anyway the General seemed extremely uneasy; and, one could well

  understand what a telegram to announce the death of his mother

  would mean for him!

  Although I thought it probable that Polina was avoiding me for a

  definite reason, I adopted a cold and indifferent air; for I

  felt pretty certain that it would not be long before she

  herself approached me. For two days, therefore, I devoted my

  attention to Mlle. Blanche. The poor General was in despair! To

  fall in love at fifty-five, and with such vehemence, is indeed a

  misfortune! And add to that his widowerhood, his children, his

  ruined property, his debts, and the woman with whom he had

  fallen in love! Though Mlle. Blanche was extremely good-looking,

  I may or may not be understood when I say that she had one of

  those faces which one is afraid of. At all events, I myself have

  always feared such women. Apparently about twenty-five years of

  age, she was tall and broad-shouldered, with shoulders that

  sloped; yet though her neck and bosom were ample in their

  proportions, her skin was dull yellow in colour, while her hair

  (which was extremely abundant--sufficient to make two

  coiffures) was as black as Indian ink. Add to that a pair of

  black eyes with yellowish whites, a proud glance, gleaming

  teeth, and lips which were perennially pomaded and
redolent of

  musk. As for her dress, it was invariably rich, effective, and

  chic, yet in good taste. Lastly, her feet and hands were

  astonishing, and her voice a deep contralto. Sometimes, when she

  laughed, she displayed her teeth, but at ordinary times her air

  was taciturn and haughty--especially in the presence of Polina

  and Maria Philipovna. Yet she seemed to me almost destitute of

  education, and even of wits, though cunning and suspicious.

  This, apparently, was not because her life had been lacking in

  incident. Perhaps, if all were known, the Marquis was not her

  kinsman at all, nor her mother, her mother; but there was

  evidence that, in Berlin, where we had first come across the

  pair, they had possessed acquaintances of good standing. As for

  the Marquis himself, I doubt to this day if he was a

  Marquis--although about the fact that he had formerly belonged to

  high society (for instance, in Moscow and Germany) there could

  be no doubt whatever. What he had formerly been in France I had

  not a notion. All I knew was that he was said to possess a

  chateau. During the last two weeks I had looked for much to

  transpire, but am still ignorant whether at that time anything

  decisive ever passed between Mademoiselle and the General.

  Everything seemed to depend upon our means--upon whether the

  General would be able to flourish sufficient money in her face.

  If ever the news should arrive that the grandmother was not

  dead, Mlle. Blanche, I felt sure, would disappear in a

  twinkling. Indeed, it surprised and amused me to observe what a

  passion for intrigue I was developing. But how I loathed it all!

  With what pleasure would I have given everybody and everything

  the go-by! Only--I could not leave Polina. How, then, could I

  show contempt for those who surrounded her? Espionage is a base

  thing, but--what have I to do with that?

  Mr. Astley, too, I found a curious person. I was only sure that

  he had fallen in love With Polina. A remarkable and diverting

  circumstance is the amount which may lie in the mien of a shy

  and painfully modest man who has been touched with the divine

  passion--especially when he would rather sink into the earth than

  betray himself by a single word or look. Though Mr. Astley

  frequently met us when we were out walking, he would merely take

  off his hat and pass us by, though I knew he was dying to join

  us. Even when invited to do so, he would refuse. Again, in

  places of amusement--in the Casino, at concerts, or near the

  fountain--he was never far from the spot where we were sitting.

  In fact, WHEREVER we were in the Park, in the forest, or on the

  Shlangenberg--one needed but to raise one's eyes and glance

  around to catch sight of at least a PORTION of Mr. Astley's

  frame sticking out--whether on an adjacent path or behind a bush.

  Yet never did he lose any chance of speaking to myself; and, one

  morning when we had met, and exchanged a couple of words, he

  burst out in his usual abrupt way, without saying "Good-morning."

  "That Mlle. Blanche," he said. "Well, I have seen a good many

  women like her."

  After that he was silent as he looked me meaningly in the face.

  What he meant I did not know, but to my glance of inquiry he

  returned only a dry nod, and a reiterated "It is so."

  Presently, however, he resumed:

  "Does Mlle. Polina like flowers?"

  " I really cannot say," was my reply.

  "What? You cannot say?" he cried in great astonishment.

  "No; I have never noticed whether she does so or not," I

  repeated with a smile.

  "Hm! Then I have an idea in my mind," he concluded. Lastly,

  with a nod, he walked away with a pleased expression on his

  face. The conversation had been carried on in execrable French.

  IV

  Today has been a day of folly, stupidity, and ineptness. The

  time is now eleven o'clock in the evening, and I am sitting in

  my room and thinking. It all began, this morning, with my being

  forced to go and play roulette for Polina Alexandrovna. When she

  handed me over her store of six hundred gulden I exacted two

  conditions --namely, that I should not go halves with her in her

  winnings, if any (that is to say, I should not take anything for

  myself), and that she should explain to me, that same evening,

  why it was so necessary for her to win, and how much was the sum

  which she needed. For, I could not suppose that she was doing all

  this merely for the sake of money. Yet clearly she did need some

  money, and that as soon as possible, and for a special purpose.

  Well, she promised to explain matters, and I departed. There was

  a tremendous crowd in the gaming-rooms. What an arrogant, greedy

  crowd it was! I pressed forward towards the middle of the room

  until I had secured a seat at a croupier's elbow. Then I began

  to play in timid fashion, venturing only twenty or thirty gulden

  at a time. Meanwhile, I observed and took notes. It seemed to me

  that calculation was superfluous, and by no means possessed of

  the importance which certain other players attached to it, even

  though they sat with ruled papers in their hands, whereon they

  set down the coups, calculated the chances, reckoned, staked,

  and--lost exactly as we more simple mortals did who played

  without any reckoning at all.

  However, I deduced from the scene one conclusion which seemed to me

  reliable --namely, that in the flow of fortuitous chances there is,

  if not a system, at all events a sort of order. This, of course,

  is a very strange thing. For instance, after a dozen middle figures

  there would always occur a dozen or so outer ones. Suppose the ball

  stopped twice at a dozen outer figures; it would then pass to a dozen of

  the first ones, and then, again, to a dozen of the middle

  ciphers, and fall upon them three or four times, and then revert

  to a dozen outers; whence, after another couple of rounds, the

  ball would again pass to the first figures, strike upon them

  once, and then return thrice to the middle series--continuing

  thus for an hour and a half, or two hours. One, three, two: one,

  three, two. It was all very curious. Again, for the whole of a

  day or a morning the red would alternate with the black, but

  almost without any order, and from moment to moment, so that

  scarcely two consecutive rounds would end upon either the one or

  the other. Yet, next day, or, perhaps, the next evening, the red

  alone would turn up, and attain a run of over two score, and

  continue so for quite a length of time--say, for a whole day. Of

  these circumstances the majority were pointed out to me by Mr.

  Astley, who stood by the gaming-table the whole morning, yet

  never once staked in person.

  For myself, I lost all that I had on me, and with great speed.

  To begin with, I staked two hundred gulden on " even," and won.

  Then I staked the same amount again, and won: and so on some two or

  three times. At one moment I must have had in my hands--gathered there

  within a space of five minutes
--about 4000 gulden. That, of course,

  was the proper moment for me to have departed, but there arose in me a

  strange sensation as of a challenge to Fate--as of a wish to deal her a

  blow on the cheek, and to put out my tongue at her. Accordingly

  I set down the largest stake allowed by the rules--namely, 4000

  gulden--and lost. Fired by this mishap, I pulled out all the

  money left to me, staked it all on the same venture, and--again

  lost! Then I rose from the table, feeling as though I were

  stupefied. What had happened to me I did not know; but, before

  luncheon I told Polina of my losses-- until which time I walked

  about the Park.

  At luncheon I was as excited as I had been at the meal three

  days ago. Mlle. Blanche and the Frenchman were lunching with us,

  and it appeared that the former had been to the Casino that

  morning, and had seen my exploits there. So now she showed me

  more attention when talking to me; while, for his part, the

  Frenchman approached me, and asked outright if it had been my

  own money that I had lost. He appeared to be suspicious as to

  something being on foot between Polina and myself, but I merely

  fired up, and replied that the money had been all my own.

  At this the General seemed extremely surprised, and asked me

  whence I had procured it; whereupon I replied that, though I

  had begun only with 100 gulden, six or seven rounds had

  increased my capital to 5000 or 6000 gulden, and that

  subsequently I had lost the whole in two rounds.

  All this, of course, was plausible enough. During my recital I

  glanced at Polina, but nothing was to be discerned on her face.

  However, she had allowed me to fire up without correcting me,

  and from that I concluded that it was my cue to fire up, and to

  conceal the fact that I had been playing on her behalf. "At all

  events," I thought to myself, "she, in her turn, has promised

  to give me an explanation to-night, and to reveal to me

  something or another."

  Although the General appeared to be taking stock of me, he said

  nothing. Yet I could see uneasiness and annoyance in his face.

  Perhaps his straitened circumstances made it hard for him to

  have to hear of piles of gold passing through the hands of an

  irresponsible fool like myself within the space of a quarter of

  an hour. Now, I have an idea that, last night, he and the

  Frenchman had a sharp encounter with one another. At all events

  they closeted themselves together, and then had a long and vehement

  discussion; after which the Frenchman departed in what appeared to be

  a passion, but returned, early this morning, to renew the combat.

  On hearing of my losses, however, he only remarked with a sharp,

  and even a malicious, air that "a man ought to go more carefully."

  Next, for some reason or another, he added that, "though a great many

  Russians go in for gambling, they are no good at the game."

  "I think that roulette was devised specially for Russians," I

  retorted; and when the Frenchman smiled contemptuously at my

  reply I further remarked that I was sure I was right; also that,

  speaking of Russians in the capacity of gamblers, I had far more

  blame for them than praise--of that he could be quite sure.

  "Upon what do you base your opinion?" he inquired.

  "Upon the fact that to the virtues and merits of the civilised

  Westerner there has become historically added--though this is

  not his chief point--a capacity for acquiring capital; whereas,

  not only is the Russian incapable of acquiring capital, but also

  he exhausts it wantonly and of sheer folly. None the less we

  Russians often need money; wherefore, we are glad of, and greatly

  devoted to, a method of acquisition like roulette--whereby, in a

  couple of hours, one may grow rich without doing any work. This

  method, I repeat, has a great attraction for us, but since we

  play in wanton fashion, and without taking any trouble, we

  almost invariably lose."

  "To a certain extent that is true," assented the Frenchman with

  a self-satisfied air.

  "Oh no, it is not true," put in the General sternly. "And you,"