Just to Hear 'I Love You': An Alternate Tale of Jane Austen's 'Pride & Prejudice'

by Sarah Johnson

  The two continued to talk, Mary teaching Fitz a few new signs that would help them communicate better in the future, as well as explaining how to read lips. They eventually began to talk of the trip to the theater the evening before, Fitz apologizing for not being able to join them. He could tell Mary did not have a pleasant time and he dearly wished he would have been free to escort her.

  “Are you going to Mrs Darcy’s ball?” he asked.

  Mary sighed, nodding her head, though she did not seem happy with the decision.

  “I am as well. May I be the first to ask you for a dance?” Realizing what he said, he quickly replied, “That is... if you can dance.”

  Mary chuckled aloud and shook her head, writing down, “No, I cannot dance.”

  Fitz felt his throat constrict when he heard the sound that emanated from her when she chuckled. Until now he had not heard her voice, though Darcy said she did speak verbally sometimes, mostly just among her family. The joy he felt in that simple resonance was enough to take the sting of not getting to dance with her away. “We will just find another activity then, and I must insist we sit together during supper,” he said with a smile.

  Mary nodded in acceptance and they continued to talk until Darcy and Miss Bennet joined them, the Gardiners arriving just a few minutes later with the promised tea. They all spoke for a few minutes about the incident with Darcy’s uncle, but it was quickly put to rest when Mr Darcy declared his intention to marry where his heart led and that he did not care about what his family thought. His enthusiasm to speak of his wishes for the ceremony to take place at his home, Pemberley, was all Elizabeth needed to hear to assuage her own trepidacious feelings over the harsh words spoken by his family.

  The two cousins were invited to stay for supper, and they were happy to accept. It was decided over the course of the evening that they would stay in Town long enough to all attend Mrs Edith Darcy’s ball in a little less than two weeks. Darcy and his sister would then leave for Pemberley the following Monday, followed by the Gardiners and Bennets a week and a half later. Elizabeth was not completely pleased with this decision, but her aunt insisted she would need as much time to shop for her trousseau. It was with a heavy heart that Elizabeth agreed to this plan. The colonel, in an attempt to lighten the mood, offered his services in escorting the family to Pemberley. Darcy offered the use of his second carriage and Mr Gardiner readily accepted, thanking him as it would have been a tight fit in only their own equipage with the servants coming as well.

  When Mary told her aunt and uncle of her intention to remain with Elizabeth at Pemberley, they both gave their approval. In truth, they expected it the minute Mr Darcy’s intentions were brought to light.

  The wedding would take place on the 22nd day of June, just over a week after the bride’s arrival at Pemberley, then the Gardiners talked of their intention to visit the Peaks while they were in the north. It was decided that Mary and Georgiana would join them on their tour, giving the newlyweds a little time by themselves, then the two would be returned to Pemberley and the Gardiners would come back to Town. The colonel, concerned with how his young cousin would react with Darcy’s marriage, volunteered to accompany her on their tour of the Peaks. The Gardiners understood his concern and were eager to add him to their party as well.

  With their many plans set into motion, the two cousins left late that evening.

  “I am truly happy for you,” Fitz said as they rode in the carriage through the streets of London.

  “Thank you,” Darcy said through the stillness surrounding them. “I was thinking... I know we have always said we would stand up for the other if we were still a bachelor when the other got married, but I do not want my decision to come between you and your parents. Perhaps it would be best if I ask Bingley to stand beside me instead.”

  From the tone in Darcy’s voice he could tell how heavily this weighed on his cousin’s mind. “I thought Bingley was to leave for Scarborough the day after the ball?”

  “He is, but his business will take no longer than a week to complete, and I am sure he will be able to join us at Pemberley in time.”

  “What of his sister? I am certain you do not want to include her in your plans for a small ceremony.”

  “Since Bingley is going to Scarborough on business, Miss Bingley will be accompanying the Hursts’ to Bath,” he answered.

  “Ahhh, so your plans are well under way for the perfect situation,” he joked. “I understand your decision, and appreciate the sentiment, but if Bingley cannot make it, I will gladly stand up beside you.”

  “I do not want to give your father cause to cut you off for good,” Darcy started to say.

  “My decision is made Darcy, so there is no talking me out of it. I appreciate the sentiment, but I will not allow you to marry with just anyone standing at your side. If Bingley cannot be there, I would be honoured to fill the position.”

  He was glad for the darkness of the coach as tears began to fill his eyes. In a voice thick with emotion, he thanked his cousin, then was glad when the discussion turned to all Darcy would need to accomplish with his solicitor before he left for Pemberley.

  When they arrived back at Darcy House, they stood in the hall at the foot of the stairs. Darcy asked, “Will you be able to get leave?”

  “I have plenty of time saved up and with such an inducement as your wedding I doubt my request will be denied.”

  Looking around to ensure they were alone, he added, “I was a little worried about Georgiana accompanying the Gardiners on their tour of the Peaks, but with you along I doubt she will cause any mischief.”

  “That was precisely why I wished to join them.” He patted his cousin on the shoulder, “Every newly wedded couple deserves some time alone. I am glad to do what I can for you in your time of need.” With a slight bow of his head and a simple exchange to sleep well, Fitz went upstairs to his room, exhausted from the emotionally draining day. He fell asleep with a smile on his lips as he remembered the feeling of Miss Mary’s hand on his as she showed him how to form a few signs earlier in the day. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he was slowly losing his heart to this lady.

  The next two weeks passed slowly for Mary. Mr Darcy visited nearly every day, sometimes bringing with him his sister or his friend, Mr Bingley, but not his cousin. The newly engaged couple were often in the garden or requesting to go for walks, and while Mary was glad to oblige them, she could not keep up with their pace and often found herself sitting alone while they continued on without her.

  When Mr Bingley came with Mr Darcy he would amiably talk the entire time. Unfortunately, he still did not understand that he had to face her so she could read his lips, but at least she was not bored. When Miss Darcy accompanied her brother however, Mary saw in her quiet demeanor and steely eyes someone she could not trust. Not knowing if she should warn Elizabeth, she kept a careful watch of the girl for anything specific, but so far there was nothing more than just an uncertain feeling when she was around the younger girl.

  While she was extremely happy for her sister, she was also a bit saddened with the reminder that she would never marry. For many years, despite her aunt’s assurances to the contrary, Mary had known she would never marry, and she accepted this as the path for her life. However, to watch so closely a couple as in love as Mr Darcy and Elizabeth, she could not help but feel a pang of jealousy and wish to one day be so loved and cherished by someone as well.

  Mary’s reverie was interrupted by her sister poking her head in the door. “Are you ready to prepare for this evening?” she asked eagerly.

  She could not help but smile at her sister’s exuberance, and soon the two girls, with their maid’s assistance, were dressed in the finest dresses either had ever owned. Elizabeth and the maid were just about to start on Mary’s hair when their aunt knocked at the door. The maid answered and Maddie came in with two posies of flowers in her hands.

  “These flowers were delivered, one for each of you,” she said as she gave each of
her nieces their appointed bouquets, Elizabeth’s being her favorite flowers, blue and yellow violets, and Mary’s being a mix of pink and yellow blossoms.

  Elizabeth immediately pulled the card out of hers and ran her finger lovingly over the now familiar script of her intended. She walked over and sat on the bed to read the small note in private.

  Mary lifted the petals to her nose, smelling deeply the sweet aroma, “Why would Mr Darcy send me flowers as well?” she asked her aunt.

  “I am sure he cares for you as his own sister and wishes you to have a wonderful time as well at your first ball,” Maddie answered her niece.

  Maddie stepped over to Elizabeth and Mary looked down at the flowers and saw one single pink Persian Turban right in the middle of the bouquet with a small, hidden note attached to its stem. She smiled as she pulled the paper out, expecting it to be from Mr Darcy. To her surprise, it read:

  I greatly look forward to our supper set this evening and discovering just which charms you will choose to dazzle me with once again. My greatest wish—though I must warn you, it is quite scandalous—is that perhaps you will allow me to teach you to dance? See, I told you it was scandalous.

  Waiting with anticipation for your answer.

  Sincerely, R.F.

  Her heart began to beat quickly and she smiled at the gift he gave her—a ranunculus, meaning ‘you are radiant with charms’. He remembered the conversation we had before about flowers and their meanings, she thought. She quickly put the note into her reticule before her aunt and sister came back, the blush on her cheeks still clearly evident to herself, though Aunt Maddie and Elizabeth did not seem to notice as they both began to arrange Mary’s hair.

  When they were nearly finished, Aunt Maddie asked, “Would you like to put some of these beautiful flowers in your hair?”

  “Oh no, I would feel silly doing something like that,” Mary answered back, her cheeks flaming once again.

  “Oh please do, Mary,” Elizabeth pleaded. “I will wear some in my hair as well if that will make you feel better?”

  With two pairs of eyes beckoning her to acquiescence to their idea, she finally gave a silent sigh as she nodded. What will he think when he sees me with these flowers in my hair? Oh I cannot believe I could ever be so brazen! My aunt would never have suggested it if she knew who these were truly from. Oh, I must tell her, Mary thought as the two ladies behind her finished weaving them into her curls, the larger ranunculus being placed in prominence beside her hair comb. By the time they pulled her up to stand in front of them she once again lost her nerve to say anything about the sender of the posy.

  Elizabeth’s hair was similarly arranged with her own flowers, and soon the two were ready to leave. Maddie left the room to check on her children once more and the sisters descended the stairs to await the others. They were halfway down when Edward, Mr Darcy, and Colonel Fitzwilliam came out of the drawing room. Elizabeth’s eyes were drawn to those of her intended, but Mary saw the look of pride on their uncle’s face before he turned away to hide the tears they held as well. She walked down the remaining stairs beside her sister, their aunt quickly catching up with them as they donned their capes and gloves, then all six left for an evening they would never forget.

  Mary nearly lost her footing on the steps outside when, Colonel Fitzwilliam, signed to her, “Your hair is lovely this evening, Miss Mary.” His hand caught her elbow saving her from certain disgrace, though her cheeks were emblazoned with embarrassment.

  The cool night air hit her hot cheeks and all she could do was nod to him as she continued on to the carriage. He sat across from her in the confined space, his eyes never leaving her own. Somehow I have a feeling tonight will be very different than the theater trip, she thought to herself. It almost seemed as if he could read her thoughts as he smiled and dipped his head to her.

  When they arrived at the ball, Mr Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam exited the carriage first. Edward asked Mary if she was comfortable with the colonel escorting her and she assured him she was. He reminded her of his unused second arm if she needed him, then he kissed her hand and exited the carriage, helping his wife down and stepping back as the other two gentlemen helped his nieces.

  Elizabeth’s heart raced—this was her first public appearance as the intended of Mr Darcy, and the only one before they were to leave Town for Pemberley. He felt her hand trembling on his arm and placed his other hand on top of hers, squeezing her fingers slightly. Elizabeth calmed immediately, matching his pace as they walked through the large doors and were greeted by their hostess.

  “Do you think she will be well?” Edward asked his wife.

  “Yes dear, she will be fine, just as I have told you. She even assured you herself in the carriage,” Maddie quietly said to her husband as they watched the two couples start to mingle amongst the crowd already in attendance.

  “I cannot help it. It is my job to worry, and they are like my own daughters,” Edward replied.

  “Yes, they are as dear to me as our own children as well. We know and trust Mr Darcy, and soon he will be Elizabeth’s husband. This is not a situation we are as accustomed to ourselves, but he and his cousin are obviously well acquainted with the intricacies of the society that surrounds us.”

  “Yes,” he nodded, “if it were not for Mr Darcy we would never even be on the invitation list to a Ball such as this.” His eyes scanned the room once more, settling finally on the beautiful lady on his own arm. “Come my dear,” he said, “I intend to dance every set with you this evening.”

  She giggled, “You know that is not possible, sir. I am already promised to Mr Darcy, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Mr Bingley for three sets, but I do not mind giving you my supper set.”

  “Oh no, I will have your first set as well,” he said as he whisked her over to the line starting to form in the middle of the room.

  “Fitz, so good to see you here this evening,” the colonel heard from behind him.

  Mary felt his arm stiffen under her hand as he turned them around, not addressing a gentleman who was staring at her.

  “May I have the honour of being introduced to your companion?”

  The look in his eye made her stomach knot immediately.

  “Absolutely not; I will not have you plying your charms on her this evening. I have been given the task of escorting her and I do not intend to leave her side, so go find another lady to pursue with your worthless declarations.”

  The man bowed to Mary, but she was unable to tell what he said as his head dipped down. The next thing she knew the colonel was leading her away without so much as a nod to the other gentleman. They quickly made their way to Elizabeth and Mr Darcy, the colonel whispering something to his cousin before he turned back to her. “Let us go and check out the other rooms, Miss Mary,” he said with a slight smile, though he held his shoulder much more stiffly than he had before the exchange.

  Mary was introduced to several others as they made their way through the house, but the colonel’s obvious protective stance beside her kept anyone from asking for a dance or requiring her to speak with them. A simple curtsy was all that was needed in each situation. Mary chuckled inwardly at the stern glances the colonel was giving others, thinking he looked more like a Colonel in the Army tonight than he ever had before.

  They made their way to the refreshments table and procured two glasses of punch, then found a quiet place next to the wall where they could watch the dancing. After their glasses were emptied and the colonel seemed to be back to his normal self, Mary looked around to be assured she would not be seen, then she signed, “Who was it to whom you would not allow an introduction?”

  He took a deep breath, slowly letting it out before he answered her, “My brother, Viscount Milton.”

  “He is soon to be my sister’s cousin, so why not allow it?”

  “He only wished to embarrass you in the crowd, and believe me when I say you will not run into him if Darcy has any say in the matter. He is not allowed in any of Darcy’s homes,”
he explained.

  “Why?”

  “Let me just say he is not an honourable gentleman in comportment, and he and Darcy had it out a few years ago. Darcy does not slight him in public, but everyone knows the two have nothing to do with each other.” He became very serious all of a sudden, looking deep into her eyes as he quietly said, “My brother is a known profligate and gambler, with a long line of mistresses and ruined ladies in his wake. If you are ever in a room with him, please do me a favor and leave immediately. I would not have you injured because of him.”

  She nodded, thanking him for the warning, then the two returned their gazes to the dancers, watching the lively couples as they bounced down the line then back again. Mary found herself enjoying this evening much better than she thought she would, and most of the thanks had to go to her companion for the evening, Colonel Fitzwilliam.

  “You know,” he teased, “hearing is not necessary to dancing. I am amenable to teaching you if you are curious?”

  “No, I think not, sir. I would truly embarrass myself.” She blushed as she remembered his offer in the note as well. “Perhaps if we were alone... that is, not here in this crowd...”

  He smiled, “I look forward to the endeavor and will hold you to that when the situation is appropriate, Miss Mary.”

  Mary’s cheeks blushed a deep red. She was grateful when nothing more was said about her dancing. The second set of dances came and went, and soon the colonel was obliged to return her to her uncle’s side and dance with his cousin’s intended. It was a country dance and they partnered two other couples in their group, both enjoying the fast pace of the steps.

  “You seem to be enjoying yourself this evening, Miss Bennet,” he said as they spun around in a circle.

  “Yes, exceedingly so, Colonel. How is my sister?”

  “She is doing well.”

  “Good. I was worried for her comfort. I know she did not enjoy our night at the theater,” the worry she felt made her voice tremble a little.