Calamity Rayne: Gets A Life

by Lydia Michaels

  The things that Hale made me feel came without names and were so far away from my usual vocabulary I had no way of defining them. He made me happy, abundantly happy. In his eyes I was desirable. He got my humor and didn’t care when I wore flip-flops with ball gowns. He’d taken off his suit jacket and vest so I wouldn’t feel underdressed. That was some sexy ass, suave shit right there. And he saved a baby. He was literally reorganizing his life just so that little girl could have one, with a dad.

  Yes, there was a very heavy like filling my heart, maybe something remarkably close to love.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Since When am I Prepared?

  Hello, my name is Rayne Meyers, and I really like sex. Really. Dr. Seuss could have written smutty poetry about me. I did it on a boat and by a moat. I did it in a car and on a bar. I did it on the floor and by a door. I did it here and there. I did it everywhere!

  Of course, these stories would not be for the children, but the other deviants of the world would appreciate them.

  Exhausted, and running on about two hours sleep, I rummaged through Hale’s fridge. “You have nothing.”

  “We got here two days ago and I’ve been busy. I’ll go to the store today.”

  I sent him a skeptical glance. “You do your own grocery shopping? And where did you get that apple?”

  He smirked and took a big bite of the Granny Smith. “Marduh dussit.”

  I snorted. “Marta does it? You’re a grown man. Get a bonus card and do your own shopping.” I grabbed my left over linguini from last night’s dinner and popped open the takeout box.

  “It’s seven in the morning. How are you eating that?” He made a disgusted face. “It’s not even warm.”

  I popped a shrimp in my mouth. “Still good. You have to take me home. I need coffee and you don’t have creamer.”

  As I tried to slip past him he caught my arm and pulled me into a kiss then grimaced. “Never mind. I can’t do shrimp kisses this early in the morning.”

  I swatted his shoulder and licked his cheek. “Now it’s on you. Take me home. I have interviews today.”

  As we drove the whole two blocks to his dad’s I grinned. “Did you hurt Eric?”

  Hale kept his eyes on the road. “I made my point.”

  I turned my cheek on the leather upholstery and continued to grin at him. “No one’s ever gotten in a fight defending my honor.”

  Glancing to his right, he smirked. “I’ll always defend your honor.”

  I sighed, because what girl wouldn’t? “You’re going to be a good dad, Hale.”

  His face slightly paled. “Thanks.”

  “But maybe pick up a parenting book and some baby paraphernalia. The end of the month is going to be here before you know it. You’re a little unprepared.”

  He pulled at his collar. “I’ll figure it out.”

  I truly hoped he realized a baby wasn’t a situation one could throw money at and walk away from. This was a person and people came with needs and feelings, even the little ones. Aside from his overwhelming commitment to do the right thing, he had nothing prepared.

  Why did men always wait until the last possible minute to organize? Another quality I usually had in common with the opposite sex. It was a wonder we ever accomplished anything in this world. I didn’t want to stress him out, so I let it go. But if I didn’t see any baby stuff soon, I was bringing it up again.

  The interviews went well. Remington practiced his same old tricks, asking me to remove the legs of the sofa so the candidate sat with their knees up to their chests and having me put one glass of water next to the pitcher to see who took it first.

  “How is he?” Miles whispered, when he was sent to what Remington called the isolation booth—it was the back patio, where a chair sat in direct sun. The old coot sure liked to have his fun.

  I was still in denial about Remington’s part in Hale’s situation, so I pretended those secrets didn’t exist. “He’s great. Ornery, short-tempered, egotistical, but really a marshmallow on the inside.” Okay, fine. I wasn’t ready to dislike the man so I selfishly convinced myself his misdeeds were oversights and he was genuinely sorry for putting his penis where it didn’t belong.

  “He sure seems to like you,” Miles commented.

  I smiled. We did have a special sort of bond. “I think he’s partial to women. I don’t put up with his crap, but I fluff his pillows so it’s a give and take.”

  He brushed his sleeve over his brow. “Do you think I’ll have to wait out here much longer? It’s a hundred degrees in the sun.”

  “Meyers!” Remington yelled from the den.

  I hitched a thumb over my shoulder. “That’s my cue. I’ll see if I can move things along for you.”

  Bustling into the den, I rolled my eyes. “He’s melting out there, Remington.”

  He didn’t appear concerned. “I dropped the damn remote.”

  Dipping to my knees, I reached under the sofa and handed it to him. “Are you done with the interviews?”

  “I already sent the other two back to the airport with Alfonse. Tell your friend he has the job.”

  I frowned at his disinterested, clipped tone. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.” He didn’t seem fine.

  “Can I get you anything? Is your foot hurting?”

  “For the love of God, Meyers, I said I’m fine. Go show Pendleton around and let me rest.”

  Snapping my mouth shut, I just blinked at him and turned to give Miles the news. He was thrilled and a bit nervous I could tell, but once I introduced him to the staff and showed him where they kept the good snacks, he relaxed.

  I found Remington in his room a while later, struggling to get into his bed. Rushing to his side, I snapped, “What are you doing? You should have called someone to help.”

  “Everyone’s busy.”

  I lowered him to the bed and adjusted his pillows. “You’re cranky today.”

  He grumbled something under his breath.

  “Is there anything you want me to work on while you rest?”

  “No, but don’t go far. Wake me up before five.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  He sighed and shut his eyes, his face tight with a grimace.

  “You sure you don’t want a pain pill—”

  “Meyers.”

  “Okay. Just checking.” I let myself out and shut the door. Then I went to find Hale.

  Finding him in the office, I smiled and slipped inside. Hale was on the phone, but he waved me over. Hopping onto the desk, I swung my legs and waited for him to finish his call.

  “Right,” he said, face serious. “No, you’ll want to go with the first option.” His palm caught my knee, stilling my legs. “Read it to me.”

  His hand slid up my thigh, parting my legs and disappearing under my dress. Angling the phone between his shoulder and his ear, he held a finger to his mouth telling me to be quiet as the hand under my dress slid my panties aside.

  Oh, this was naughty. His fingers brushed over my folds, teasing and softly petting. Last night, when he saw how I’d shaved myself bare, he went nuts. It looked like I was going to have to join one of those razor of the month clubs.

  “Stop there. Write back and tell him we’ll cut it down to a three percent annual increase, but that’s as low as we go. He won’t find anything lower on the market.”

  I smirked. Hale the negotiator was sexy.

  He lifted his chin toward my chest and I lifted a hand to the buttons in question. He nodded so I slipped one through the little hole. He angled his chin again and I did another, teasing him.

  His finger slipped inside of me and I gasped, arching back on the desk. That earned him another button. He slowly fingered me as he used fancy terms like escrow and yield and power of attorney. It was all very Ally McBeal.

  When my lips parted and my breathing accelerated, his gaze turned heavy and he silently mouthed, fucking hot.

  Rising over me, he slowly licked the tip of my nipple, making commen
ts on the phone whenever required. He was quite the multitasker. When he pinched the tip of my nipple I gasped and he smirked.

  “Sounds good. I’ll be in touch.” He practically threw the phone as he grabbed for me, yanking my bottom to the edge of the desk. His mouth crashed over mine and he growled, “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are?”

  I giggled. “No, but you should keep telling me.”

  He growled again and worked his hand back under my dress. My knees slid apart as he pressed his fingers deep inside of me. “I want you to come all over my fingers so I can smell you on my skin for the rest of the day.”

  “Okay,” I gasped, as he pressed deeper. I shut my eyes and moaned as his fingers hooked inside of me and tapped on a sensitive spot.

  “Shh, not too loud.”

  His hand moved quickly as his other palm applied pressure to the lowest part of my abdomen and suddenly I was soaking wet and gasping. He teased my folds and I jerked with a shiver, everything was so sensitive.

  Leaning over he kissed me softly. “Beautiful. You turn me on to no end.”

  “It’s fun being able to fool around at work.”

  He glanced at me from under his lashes and smirked. “I love having you close enough to fuck at a moment’s notice.”

  I drew in a deep breath, as his little comment doubled my arousal. “Did you want to?” The idea of him bending me over that desk was incredibly erotic.

  He brushed his mouth over mine and bit my lower lip. “You have no idea how badly I want to, but my schedule’s nuts today.”

  He slid my panties back into place and lowered my dress to my knees. Helping me sit up, he laughed.

  If I looked as drunk as I felt it was probably quite the sight. I never knew sex could have the same effect as vodka, but I was becoming a raging sexaholic.

  “How did the interviews go?”

  I buttoned my dress. “Good. We hired Miles.”

  “Miles?”

  “The guy who interviewed with me before. He was nice and I felt bad beating him out of the job.”

  Brushing my hands away, he closed the last button. “You’re fond of him.”

  Using my caveman voice I said, “Hale no like when Rayne has male friends. Hale needs to get with times.”

  He caught my chin and bit my lip again. “Rayne is smartass.”

  I grinned and gave his mouth a lick. “Miles is cool, but I don’t really know him.”

  “Well, I’m glad you found someone you can work with.”

  “I can work with anyone.”

  He held up his hands impassively. “I wasn’t saying you couldn’t.”

  “Okay. Just so we’re clear. I’m not the one that made the last assistant leave.”

  He rolled his eyes. “We could have left him in Georgia if you’d confided in me sooner.”

  Snapping my fingers, I tsked. “You’re right. How foolish. I don’t know why I avoid situations I’m not emotionally equipped to handle. Avoidance is so passé. By the way, did you buy that bassinet yet?”

  He laughed. “What’s a bassinet?”

  I just gaped at him. “Seriously, get a baby book. It doesn’t even have to be new. Take one out from the library for the day. Please.”

  He glanced at his watch and grimaced. “I have a conference call in a few minutes.”

  “Yeah, I have to update my Linkedin account. So many new job skills to report this week. Office orgasms. Car sex. My qualifications are mounting up.” When he didn’t laugh, I saw he wasn’t listening. “Hale?”

  “Hmm?”

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I gotta make that call.”

  And that was my cue to leave. Maybe tonight I could have a serious conversation with him about the baby. He’d made up his mind, but every time I talked about normal things babies required, he deflected the conversation to something else.

  It wasn’t my place, but it wasn’t like Remington was offering much advice. I wasn’t even sure if Hale’s brother and sister knew what was going on or how much they knew of the true situation. All things I should probably find out.

  With thirty minutes to spare, I snuck away to call Elle. She’d been blowing up my phone since the big shave inquiry. I caught her up to speed on my latest sex-a-thon and then dropped the bomb about Hale’s life, leaving out the scandalous secrets involving Remington’s paternity.

  “Uh-uh. No way. Baby drama comes with momma drama. Get out of there, Rayne.”

  “I don’t think the mom’s going to be an issue. She’s literally uninvolved. She’s only in town because Hale wants to be there when the baby’s born and it could be any day now.”

  “And what exactly are you going to do when he’s tied down with a kid?” Elle asked. “There goes the sex.”

  “That’s not true. Babies sleep.”

  “Have you looked at mothers lately? I’m not talking about the ones on tampon commercials. I mean real women with kids. You see it in their eyes. There’s an anger banked there that hisses and lets the world know if a penis comes within grabbing distance they’re ripping it right off!”

  “Well, maybe they look like that because they recently gave birth. I mean, no woman would enjoy that.” Hale’s situation was different.

  Elle sighed. “I think that look in their eyes is sheer exhaustion. Remember my friend Val, the one who got married and had all those kids?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Look her up on Facebook. You’ll see what I’m talking about.”

  I rolled my eyes. “We’re way off topic, and you’re supposed to be reassuring me, not terrifying the crap out of me.”

  I mean really, if I wanted this sort of feedback I would have called Tyler, which I needed to do soon.

  “I don’t understand how you’re even remotely entertaining this idea. Babies equal commitment. You don’t commit.”

  “I commit.”

  Elle scoffed. “You can’t even commit to one flavor of ice cream. You always buy at least two pints at a time.”

  “That’s just good sense. If I drove to the store every time I wanted Ben and Jerry’s do you know the damage I’d be doing to the environment?” But she had a point. “Look, I know what babies mean, but it’s not my baby. I just want to do stuff with daddy. Wait, that sounded dirty and not in a good way. My relationship is with Hale. Period. The baby’s just a relative.”

  “I don’t know, Ray. First you’ll be all, Oh, can I hold it. Then he’ll be like, Could you take the baby for a minute? Next thing you know, he’s running out for a pack of smokes, and you’re barefoot with another woman’s baby in your arms.”

  “You have way too many clichés in that scenario and none of that is going to happen. First, babies are loud and sticky. Pass. Second, they cost money. Pass. Third, this is not my kid. I’m absolved of all parental responsibility.”

  Of course, if he wanted someone to help him ready the nursery that might be fun, but that was it. I drew the line there. Maybe an outfit or two. No. No clothes. Not my kid. Not my circus.

  I glanced at the clock. “Shit. I have to go. I was supposed to wake up my boss ten minutes ago.”

  “Don’t look at the baby. Its cuteness will suck you in!” she shouted, and I hung up the phone.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Me and My Fragile Eggs

  Guilt was an utterly useless emotion, but man could it bind a girl up. Remington had been in a shitty mood for days. He claimed it wasn’t his foot, and I believed that was half true, but something crawled up his ass.

  Miles was likely rethinking his enthusiasm about the job because Remington snapped at him more than anyone. But no one was immune. Even Hale took his licks here and there.

  Joining my boss on the veranda—he’d been purposely moved out there so the staff didn’t have to hear him—I shuffled a deck of cards and straddled the lounge chair next to his.

  “So…” I dealt out a hand of Solitaire. “You want to tell me why you’ve been in a mood?”

  “Do I look like someo
ne who enjoys daytime television, Meyers?”

  I shrugged. “You might DVR The View and watch it in secret.”

  He grumbled, “Men don’t discuss feelings.”

  Rolling my eyes, I moved the five of hearts and said, “They can get away with that if they hide them. You’re waving yours around like you just don’t care.”

  “Jesus, Meyers, move the damn nine of clubs. It’s right in front of you.”

  I moved the nine. “Seraphina’s coming tomorrow. That should make you happy.”

  He nodded. “The Jack of clubs.”

  I was basically playing for him at this point. “We picked up everything for the party and The Lady Parr’s been cleaned from top to bottom.”

  “Good.” He pointed. “Stack your piles.”

  “Are you happy with Miles?”

  “He’s fine. I’ll be happy when I get this damn cast off. You’re terrible at Solitaire. The four, Meyers.”

  I moved the four. “A few more weeks and you’ll be a free man. We’ll have to pin a bell to your clothes so we don’t lose you. I’m not used to you getting around quickly.”

  “I can’t stand being limited. It’s against my nature.”

  If Remington were a wild animal, he’d be the sort that chewed off its own leg when in jeopardy. “I made dinner arrangements for you and your kids at Le Blue tomorrow night.”

  “Is Barrett bringing anyone?”

  “No. Hale said Barrett’s coming alone because there’s a party with Seraphina’s friends.” The way Hale spoke of his brother, I got the impression he was a bit of a womanizer.

  “Make sure the reservation’s for five.”

  I cleaned up the cards and stacked them in my palm. “That early?”

  “Five people, not five o’clock.”

  I arched a brow. “Are you bringing a date?”

  “No. I want you there.”

  My shoulders tensed. “Remington, I don’t think—”