by L M Adams
“What happened?” Jack asks softly. I guess I haven’t said anything in a while. I just shake my head no.
I’m not ready for that conversation. Everyone knows about the punishment and retraining in general. I’m sure Jack does as well. But not many know about the reason why, how bad it was or about the young girl’s life that was lost because of me. No, that hurt needs to stay buried where it belongs.
“I never trained with a vampire or spent much time around them. Before…” I pause. I’m not ready to share everything, but it’s nice to talk to someone. Even meaningless conversation, so I start again. “At one time the two smells blended more evenly. But not anymore.” I rush out; nothing in my life has been or will ever be the same, not since she got a hold of me.
I feel him work the conditioner in my hair. He starts to comb out the tangles and kinks that come if I don’t dry my hair right away. He’s very good, patient and gentle. “You’re good at this Jack.”
“I’ve served before, Jae.” He laughs gently. “I told you I enjoy it. I enjoy helping people, taking care of them.”
“Did you serve Madame Valentine before? As her body slave, I mean?”
“Yes, Jae.” He sighs. “And you should be careful of her. She has a serious sense of fair play. But she can be cruel and cold. The years eat away at my kinds’ ability to care about the well-being of others.” He sounds like he speaks from experience.
“You are not very old then?” I ask, a little shocked; I felt the power roll off of him. Jack is no baby.
“I’m one hundred and twenty-four years from my new birth. I completed the blood rights at the age of twenty-six.” With that, he turns on the hair dryer. It’s too loud for any more conversation.
A hundred and fifty years old? Goddess, he is a baby in vampire terms, but so very powerful. I feel it. Why is he the play thing of the Madame? What series of life decisions led him to be here? Kneeling on my bed, drying my hair?
Doesn’t know how to be kind? That’s all Jack has been since he’s been with me. I raise my hand, signaling for him to turn it off.
“But Jack, you are nothing but kind and gentle with me, I saw you aim to shoot the vampire outside the club... You rushed to help me with Peter. How is it you still care?”
“I care because you are my Mistress.” The hairdryer comes back on and the tug begins again.
Does he mean if he doesn’t belong to anyone, he turns cruel? That he needs to be beaten to be kind? I don’t understand him. But I get the feeling he doesn’t want me to pry. The longer I go without interrupting him, the more relaxed he seems to get behind me. A man has a right to his own secrets. I have a fair share of my own.
I feel much more relaxed after he’s done drying my hair. Talking about supernatural things was good for me. I haven’t been able to really do that since coming to the human earth. I feel stronger too, I think. At least strong enough to finally ask, “Where’s Peter?”
“He was downstairs watching TV when I last saw him, Jae. Would you like for me to go get him?”
“No, I think it's best we stay apart right now.” I answer tightly.
“He’s hurt right now. It was a shock. But once he accepts it, he’ll be fine. He just needs to accept his wolf and that you are his still his friend.”
“If you say so.” I grumble.
“If he doesn’t hurry up, I’ll kindly remind him the only other option for him was to be dead.” Jack says his own voice tight with anger.
I don’t understand why he’s angry. “Death is better than living with some things Jack.”
He pauses from combing my hair. “Yes, this is true. But being a wolf is not one of those things, Jae. Do you want it braided?”
“Yes please.” I get epic bed hair.
I fall into silence once again caught up in my thoughts. Would I be so accepting if someone changed me? Perhaps.
I know about survival. I’d done a lot to survive, a lot of evil. Most people would end it all rather than to have to wake up with my memories. Yes, Peter needs to accept his wolf. If he fights it or tries to reject it, he will die; he will be shredded from the inside out. His wolf will take over and he’ll become a mindless machine of death, and I would have to put him down. I can’t allow that to happen.
“How should I go about getting him to accept his wolf? I’m not a wolf. I have no idea what he needs.” I say out loud.
“You can listen, Jae. I know you can hear his wolf speak. I see the magic tie between you two pushing and pulling like a tide. Usually pack magic would feed his wolf until he learned how to commune with Wolf Mother, the Moon Goddess and Mother Nature. Until he learns how to hunt and to run with the magic without the Pack, his only tie to humanity and balance, is to you. He was draining your Chi earlier, but he’s calmer now. He’s not pulling so much energy from you. It seems to have evened out. But I still see the restlessness in the current. Restlessness from you. You must remain calm.”
So Jack has use of his third eye, inner peace bullshit. I never could ‘quiet my inner mind’ just another way I suck at being Kindred, at being a Reaper. I feel him begin the French braid at the crown of my head. His fingers are nimble and quick. My muscles are relaxed and loose, I needed this. I needed to let someone take care of me, but like shit I’ll ever admit it out loud.
I don’t feel as raw or as drained. The tie is still there pulling energy from me to feed Peter, but not as harshly. Not as much and there isn’t much anger.
Before I lose my courage, I think quiet words towards Peter, pouring stillness into him. Jack has soothed my ragged ends and now I have peace to spare. I don’t know if it works but I don’t feel restless or angry like I did before.
Maybe Peter’s emotions were echoing through me and that’s why I’d hurt Jack.
No, that’s an easy out. I was angry because I’m a bitch and I like to hurt things. Jack finishes the braid, asking for a hair tie.
“On my dresser there should be some,” I realize I should tell him to go now. But I don’t want to.
I haven’t had sex, done the horizontal polka, slapped skins, or anything close, in months. My last memory of a lover is her. I want to erase that. I want to be Jae again, I need to feel in control again.
Tonight may be the last time I’ll have the chance for a very long time. I’m too dangerous to be with humans. Jack is a vampire and I want him very much.
I wait from him to slide from the bed and move towards the dresser. I stand untying my robe and letting it fall to the floor. Jack grabs a hair tie and turns, stops, stunned seeing me.
I have just enough breasts, C cups. A thin waist and flat stomach, defined slightly with muscle. The apex of my thighs covered in soft black curls that I keep trimmed low. My ass is ample though. It feels good to just be me. I can give him this. Something I haven’t given freely in almost two years. I hope he knows it’s a gift I’m giving and not a demand for satisfaction. I want to give him something to make up for the way I treated him.
“What would you have of me, Jae?” His voice is tight with lust. He wants this. But if I say no, he’ll go.
“I want you, but it’s your choice. This isn’t a demand. I want to give you something.” I speak my mind plainly.
He takes a step forward. “You haven’t done me wrong, Jae. You don’t have to do this. I’m fine, really.” He clears his throat gently. “I was going to bunk on the sofa. I don’t want you like this because you feel guilty. I don’t do pity sex.”
He comes forward, moving around behind me, and wraps the end of my braid with a hair tie. His hands brush the back of my neck. I feel goose bumps rise, my skin reaching for his touch. He moves away and walks towards the door.
“Please,” my voice croaks out. “Don’t go.”
I watch him pause with his hand on the doorknob. He turns his head. “If you can accept what I am and what you are, I will stay Jae. Accept that you are a sadist and I am a masochist, that there’s nothing wrong with that. I will stay if you order me too. That is the only way.
But in no way am I accepting your body for some kind of repayment when I enjoyed every moment. It would cheapen something I feel good about.”
His eyes are hard. It’s then I realize Jack isn’t weak. He chooses what he wants and if what he wants is to serve, why do I begrudge him so? Because I hadn’t chosen to serve? I know regular sex isn’t what he wants. I close my eyes. Can I do this? Can I let the part of me that very much enjoys being a Sadist slip out? Can I control her? I swore I’d never do this again. But I can’t stop myself, I want him too badly.
“Okay.” I reach out to him, opening my eyes letting him see the need inside of me. “Just don’t go… I… I accept it’s what you want… and what I want.” I add softly.
“Say it, Jae.” His eyes are hard and unrelenting.
My eyes go hard hating him a little for this; forcing me to admit that I am just like her. Haven’t I tried to not be like her? Haven’t I gone without the touch of another being just to prove that I’m not like her? How dare he destroy my sacrifice?
I was going to find a vanilla fuck buddy, or maybe be the bottom to someone. But whatever I had planned, it was not to be a sadist, a Mistress to a slave, not to purposely hurt someone, that I… that I what? Care for. But here I am and I promised to never lie to myself. The truth is simple. I want to hurt him, I want him to beg me, I want that and so very much more. I let the truth of my evil seep into my eyes.
“I am a sadist and you are a masochist and there’s nothing wrong with that.” My voice is steady and sure of itself.
“Will you hurt me Mistress? Will you make me beg you to stop? Will you make my world narrow to the touch of your hand and the feel of your body?” His voice is deep and aching with desire, his blue graphite eyes shine with lust.
“Yes Jack, I will give you all of that and so much more.”
He sighs and his features relax. He turns, walking back to me. He drops to his knees and bows his head. Something low in my body tightens seeing him like this, so pliant and willing, so very ready. It screams mine. My hand flexes and makes a fist. He doesn’t move. Waiting for my command, waiting for whatever I wish to do to him.
“Do you want a safe word?” I ask him finally. I’d stop if he used it. I know I’d stop. She never used them, nothing was safe from her. I am not her!
“No, Jaevia. It takes away the edge for me to know you would stop. I want to lose myself in whatever you do,” he says with a strong voice laced with lust.
I kneel in front of him and nudge his chin until he looks at me. This is important I need him to understand before I let go because there’s no stopping it once I start. I look in to his deep blue, graphite eyes so close to black without the light shining in them, willing him to understand.
“I haven’t been with anyone in this way of my own choosing in almost two years; no sex, no kinky games. I’m afraid when I start….” I lick my lips. I don’t want to say the rest because then he may take back his offer and then I’m stuck with the back massager again tonight. But it wouldn’t be fair to not tell him. Goddess above please give me the strength.
I start again, “I’m afraid I won’t stop now, that I’ll go too far. I need you to have a safe word. I’d stop if you had one and used it.”
He gathers me in his arms. “I trust you and if you don’t trust yourself, then I’ll just have to trust you for the both of us. Short of taking my head, I’ll wake up in the morning, Jaevia. I will be fine.”
Is he really comforting the person about to hurt him? What is wrong with this man? He’s twisted and ugly, just like us.
I creep open the door I keep locked, letting the succubus come to the front of my psyche. At times she is harsh and violent, when she feels we are in danger. But now she’s all seduction, all appeal, gentle and warm. She knows I’m skittish, she knows not to push. I breathe lightly on Jack’s neck; his body shivers in response.
I pull back and look at him. Jack truly is a beautiful man. Strong forehead, high cheek bones, structure so beautiful you’d think it was created from marble by gifted hands. Deep brooding blue graphite eyes framed with black lashes, deep brown eyebrows, thick but not bushy and gently arched. Straight nose giving softly to his full and kissable lips, the perfect cupid’s bow. Square jaw softened by his rounded chin. He’s the stuff of models and movie stars, now I’m about to twist those features into pain and ecstasy.
Yesss, my succubus agrees.
“You really are a beautiful man, Capaneus de la Fountaine.” He looks at me with those old soul eyes like I’m the only person in the world who’s ever told him how gorgeous he is.
“Thank you, Mistress.” He smiles and kisses me lightly.
“You moved without permission.” I trail a nail over his slightly muscled chest. He hisses through his teeth.
“Punish me if you will, but I really wanted to kiss you, so I did.” He smiles and looks at me.
I laugh aloud. “Something tells me you have always been a bad little vampire needing to be punished.”
“I do try my best.” He smiles like a loon. I just shake my head at him.
“There’s no turning back now Jack,” I say in a whisper feeling pent up lust unravel from within me.
“Yes Mistress,” Jack says voice going low. I feel him hard and ready against my tummy, excited by the thought of what’s to come.
I stand up and look down to this beautiful creature the gods put at my feet. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in. Slowly Jae, just go slowly.
“Stand up,” I order him, my voice low filled with promise.
He rises smoothly to his feet, his eyes glowing that brilliant blue silver, hazed in passion as he looks at me, his hair swings forward starting to air dry, framing his face perfectly.
“Don’t move,” I command.
“Yes Mistress.”
I walk over to my dresser and slide my blade from the sheath, the blade is made from a magic metal mix. It has a heavy amount of silver in the compound, it will never dull or tarnish. But it will burn him horribly.
“You have underwear on,” I say without turning.
“Yes, Mistress,” his voice has just that edge of fear and anticipation.
“In what world is a slave allowed to wear more clothing than his Mistress?” I turn with the blade in my hand. His eyes are glued to it.
“May I take them off, Mistress? Please.” He begs me.
“Don’t worry, I’ll do it for you and you will not move.”
He closes his eyes and throws his head back, breath shallow. I walk around him. His back is already healed from the beating I’d given him with the belt, it’s smooth and unblemished. White, creamy skin pulled tight over the slight muscle.
I place the point of the blade right where his back meets the edge of his boxer briefs, his skin hisses as it burns. His hands curl into fists but he doesn’t make a sound, doesn’t beg me to stop. But I need him to beg. I need to hear him cry out in despair.
I pull the boxers away from him slicing them slowly. I drag the flat of the blade over his skin gradually. His skin smolders as it reacts with the silver of the blade. The sounds and smells send pulses of pleasure through my body. I moan deeply, hearing him take a breath through clenched teeth.
“You are not going to say thank you for me serving you?”
He screams for me finally as press the blade against his spine, a short deep scream, a gush of wetness comes from me hearing the beautiful sound.
He whispers, “Thank you Mistress.” Over a painful whimper.
“Good boy,” I praise him.
I take my time slicing his underwear, burning his skin. After a time he can no longer hold the screams and he gives me his sweet agony to drink down.
There’s a knock on the door. I turn. Oh fuck, I forgot about Peter.
“Yes,” I call out.
“Everything… everything ok in there?” Peter’s voice comes deep and hesitant. I smile.
He might be mad at me but he heard screaming and came to check on me, or Jack. He still cares a
bout me or Jack. I’m going with me.
“It’s fine, Peter,” I look up to Jack and tap his thigh with the blade.
“Yes it’s fine, Peter.” Jack’s voice almost sounds normal. Huh that’s interesting. Maybe I should try harder.
“Maybe you should put on some earphones,” I suggest.
“Ok Jae,” I hear him sigh and his footsteps recede down the hallway.
I grab Jack’s cock hard and begin stroking him quickly. I look up to him with hunter’s eyes, wetting my lips letting them glisten in the candlelight. It doesn’t take him long to get to the edge. Right before he finds his release, I reach around and slice his ass, a shallow cut, ruining his pleasure. He screams from me denying his release and instead giving him pain.
I look up the line of his body, “I told him to put on the earphones because you will be screaming and begging me a lot.”
Jack moans and nods; he’s in total sub-space, losing touch with reality with only the feeling of me and the things I’m doing. I know people that live to be here, to feel what he’s feeling. I’ll take care of him. It’s my job as his Dominant, I give a damn. He will heal, I won’t take him past the brink, I won’t break him, I’ll be better than her.
“Almost done baby.” I encourage him. I don’t want him to stop, I need him to let me keep going.
“Yes Mistress.”
I take an excruciating amount of time slicing the cloth and holding the blade to his skin. He begs me not to, he bargains with me.
“Please don’t hold it down again in the same spot. Please pick a new spot Mistress, please.”
My body tightens and pulses at the sound of his fear. I’m high on power and the joy of causing someone pain.
When I’m finished, the boxer briefs hang in tatters around his waist held up only by the elastic band around his waist I stand up in front of him.
“Thank you, Mistress,” he chokes out; his voice is full of pain and desire, his cock as hard as ever, pulsating.
“Be very still now.” I slide the blade under the elastic band flat, the tip right over his cock. He holds his breath as the silver burns his stomach and pelvis, the tip of the blade dangerously close to his dick.
