Kozav (Scifi Alien Romance) (Dragons of Preor Book 3)

by Celia Kyle

  “This next is truly special. Even few in the Haclu family enjoy such a dish. The Emperor has not tasted it in nearly a century.” He slid the dalk into a tiny sliver of meat, twining it around the tines before lifting it from the plate. “This is syhri. It lives at the edge of the planet’s atmosphere. Where one beat of wings can be the difference between life on Preor and death in space. It is the only being of Preor that can live in the highest reaches of the skies. Some believe them to be children of the skies themselves.”

  No, she couldn’t have understood him correctly. When he went to feed her once again, she grabbed his wrist. “You mean to tell me someone—you?—nearly flew into space? For this?” she tipped her head toward the syhri he still held. “Why would you do such a thing? Why would you risk your life for someone you didn’t even know? Someone you might not ever find? You almost killed yourself for… food, Kozav.”

  “Taste the syhri and then I will tell you.” Based on his expression, the uncomfortable tightening of his shoulders, she knew his request was really a stalling tactic. But she wasn’t going to let the questions go. Why was he being suicidal? She loved a good chocolate cake as much as the next girl, but she wouldn’t jump off a cliff to get it.

  Grace opened her mouth and accepted the newest bite, moaning when the tempting flavors drifted over her taste buds. There was no describing the taste. Sweetness and heat. Sex and love. Heartache and pain, which was quickly replaced with joy and happiness. Every bite drew forward different emotions, the feelings twisting and twining with her own, magnifying them until a single tear escaped her eye. She swallowed and gasped, a heat warming her from inside out and she shot Kozav a wide-eyed glance.

  “What…”

  “Syhri, children of the skies. The skies give a Preor everything we need. The skies are everything.” He shook his head, giving her a rueful smile. “I do not believe the small beast is truly a dragonlet of our skies, but it is the closest any have ever come to feeling their true essence.” He gave her another bite and she braced herself for the rolling emotions. When joy and tendrils of love passed through her heart, she grasped them and held them close. She reveled in the emotions and allowed them to magnify her own. “It is the greatest gift I could imagine for a mate and I had to prove my worth. If I had failed and perished, it would have proven I was not the male I believed.”

  Grace let that last bit slide down her throat and stopped him from gathering another. She wouldn’t take one more bite until he knew she didn’t need him to practically fly into space to be happy. “And where would I have been if you’d died? Would I have eventually found some human man to settle down with? Have babies with?”

  Kozav snarled and bared his fangs with a hiss. “Never.”

  “Then what the hell?” She didn’t care if she sounded obnoxious or even more-than-slightly bitchy. Plus, obviously, the starting over thing was going downhill. Fast. “Why would you do that?”

  His face hardened, lips compressed. “It was necessary.”

  “Necessary?” she shook her head. Unable to believe his words. “How is nearly killing yourself nece—”

  “I would not risk a mate if I could not first prove my worth.” Burning eyes met hers. “I refused to come to Earth before I could prove that Kozav sen Aghin was worthy of the Knowing.” The fire in his gaze slowly banked to be replaced by a deep sadness. “I killed my family through weakness, Grace. I refused to kill my mate as well.”

  14

  There, Kozav had spoken of the worst. He revealed his true failure and now his mate could decide if they would try to build a passionate mating or resign themselves to platonic mates. They could not live without one another—Grace’s Knowing sickness was proof.

  Kozav proved his worthiness to himself before he left Preor. He was confident in his ability to have and care for a mate. Now he waited to see if his accomplishments were enough for Grace.

  He was not ready to see her reaction, so he gathered another strip of syhri for her to stall for time, as humans said. He recalled that day he hunted the syhri, the prayers to the skies. The internal fight to balance his need for gaining height and a controlled beating of his wings. He’d trained for the task, forcing himself to fly higher each day and spend more time in the thinner air. Breathing became more difficult the farther he traveled but eventually…

  He silently placed the delicious meat in front of her mouth, waiting for her to open to him. Instead, she scorched him with her touch, small hand encircling his wrist. Light pressure encouraged him to move his hand away and he acquiesced to her silent request. He returned the dalk to the plate, allowing her to direct his movements, and then waited.

  Her sparkling eyes met his, tears gathering in her orbs and blurring them from his sight. He cupped her cheek, needing another connection to the female that belonged to him. He had made many mistakes in his past and in his short time knowing Grace. Now he had made another if her crying was any indication. “No tears, shaa kouva,” he loved repeating those words, reminding himself he’d found his mate with each repetition. After the war… “You destroy me with your tears.”

  Grace shook her head, dislodging him, and he fought past the emotional pain that came with the separation. Then her hands were on him, one palm on his cheek while the other curled around his neck. Her grip was strong, sure, but easily brushed aside if she attempted to delve into his mind—poke and prod him until he revealed his secrets. He was not sure she knew of that aspect of a Preor mating, and he did not want to reveal it until they’d accepted one another.

  “Well, you destroyed me with what you just said. I can’t believe…” She swallowed hard, emotions sliding across her face so quickly he missed them. “I can’t believe—don’t believe—you’d hurt your family—that you’d kill anyone. You’ve shown so much kindness and gentleness. Even when you yelled, you were very careful about how you touched me. I may have gotten annoyed with you, but I was never afraid. I just can’t believe…”

  “Believe it.” He lived with the nightmares every day.

  “No. I refuse to. I admit that I don’t know you well, but the Knowing says that mates are complements to each other. That our core beliefs are similar.” She clenched her jaw and glared at him. “You wouldn’t purposely hurt your family. Not if you loved them. Not if you didn’t have cause. Because I know I would never do anything to my mom.”

  He clenched his jaw as well, the gentle stroking of her thumb doing nothing to ease the tension. “What about neglect? Neglect can kill someone just as easily as a claw or fire. I didn’t murder them, but I killed them.”

  “You wouldn’t.” Her words whispered over his skin.

  “Yes.” He would not be pardoned for his actions. Would not allow her to imagine him better than he was.

  “No.”

  “Ah, shaa kouva,” he leaned forward, moving slowly and carefully as he pressed his forehead to hers. Her scent surrounded him, embraced him with its sweet flavors. From the moment he’d touched her, he’d found a hidden tenderness within himself. Even as he raged at her stubbornness, he remained in control. It was as though his rough edges and countless years were washed away by her mere presence.

  Except when she was hurt. He would not allow thoughts of her injuries to resurface and break this tender moment.

  “I did not end their lives intentionally but it was my doing nonetheless.”

  “I don’t understand,” she whispered, the words breaking his heart.

  “The war… the death of so many…” The screams of the females and dragonlets filled his mind. Their deaths senseless and gruesome. “You do not know the truth of what was done. What we did to ourselves. How we failed those in our care. And how I destroyed my own line.”

  Grace eased from her chair and he tensed, prepared to move out of her way—give her space to flee if she chose to. But she didn’t. Instead, she lowered herself to one of his knees and encircled him with her arms.

  Did the Knowing show her how much he needed a gentle touch, the feel of his
mate in his arms? Or had she truly come to accept him?

  “Tell me.” Her curves cradled him, her mere presence giving him strength to continue and the comfort he’d need when done.

  Kozav forced his mind back to that time, to the endless days of fire and pain; tears and blood. So much blood.

  “The great conflict began with a territory dispute. A fight over pieces of sky on a planet that is still half-untouched.” He closed his eyes and let his warrior’s facade drain away. He was simply a male holding his mate. “I was no more than fifteen turnings. A very young warrior with my dam’s scales clinging to me.” His lips curled in a small smile, remembering his dam. She’d been a tiny female who ruled her aerie with an irous—iron—fist. “I was so proud to be granted entrance to the military early and chosen to fight for the Haclu.” He should have been forced to wait, but his father agreed to allow him to enter before his eighteen turnings passed. “The opposition was determined to separate themselves and make war on us. They did not want to just establish their own skies. They wanted to rid the planet of the Haclu line completely.”

  Stupid males and stupid posturing, as his dam once said.

  Grace rested her cheek on his chest; giving him more strength to push on.

  “The Haclu were happy to let them go. To allot them land and the skies above. To let them rule themselves. Preors do not seek to lay claim to the clouds but if they wished to no longer be a part of us, they were sent off with good blessings. The emperor wants what all Preors want—peaceful skies.”

  “It wasn’t enough for them,” she whispered.

  “The opposition wanted the skies but didn’t like being told they were ‘allowed’ to do anything. They felt no one should rule absolutely over another. Ever.” He sighed, snippets of speeches teasing his mind.

  “A lot of people have that opinion on Earth. Their opinion is right and everyone else has to have it too.”

  Kozav nodded. “It would have been more accepted if the Haclu neglected their people, but we flourish under their rule. We always have. They are fair and fiercely battle any corruption within the government. Our laws balance what is right with the actions we take due to our inner natures.” Everything the Knowing would reveal to her supported his words. Millennia of rulings and lawmaking. Millennia of peace. “And the opposition…”

  He swallowed hard. “They struck first—at the borders. Borders they wished respected. But for a people who’d lived without them for so long…” He bent over farther and buried his face in her hair. He let her scent soothe the raging emotions inside him. “A family, a sire and dam along with their two dragonlets, were out enjoying the air. The treaty was recently signed and the four drifted into opposition territory.”

  He shuddered. The vids broadcasted from aerie to aerie still haunted him. “They were torn apart. The dragonlets and dam ripped from the sire’s back. He had deep gouges along his spine, bone and flesh cut from his body. Reports said the dam and dragonlets perished before reaching the ground, but the sire…” Roars and sobs, the male battered and destroyed by the attack. “He claimed he heard his mate screaming for him as she fell.”

  He’d never seen a fierce male brought so low. He’d had eight hundred years beneath his wings—an old dry scale if there ever was one—and the events crushed his spirit. “He took his final flight the moment he was released by the healers.”

  “What does that mean?” Grace’s voice trembled and he cursed himself for revealing Preor’s history. But it was knowledge she needed to hear, from his lips and not the Knowing.

  “I touched the very edge of space when I caught the syhri. He did not stop. He flew and flew until he was taken from Preor by the stars.” Kozav had nearly succumbed to such a flight after he’d failed his dam and sister. Nearly. In those early days…

  He turned his head and pressed his lips to her neck, savoring her scent and a hint of her taste. “That was the first battle. One of many. For every attack, we retaliated. For every death, we claimed a life of our own. We would not go to war, but we would defend our people. Until…”

  Until. Until that day. Until that time. Until he’d been too slow to stop…

  “I’d only just been granted warrior status. I was young. A mere sixth warrior. Barely worthy of fetching items for the others, but I was a warrior, none the less.” Cocky. Brash. Stupid. “I served a powerful male, a Primary Warrior of our region. I was responsible for running messages. I was young, light, and quick.”

  Grace snorted and tilted her head back. Sadness clouded her eyes, but a grin teased her lips. “I don’t think you’ve ever been light. You’re massive.”

  He strained to meet her small smile. “Lighter, then. I was to simply convey a message, but I saw a male from the opposition skimming the ground. He flew so low, his colors blending so well, that I nearly missed his passing. The leaves,” he closed his eyes, the scene unraveling. “The leaves had turned brown, the season growing cooler. The male’s coloring matched the shrubs. If he hadn’t passed over a section of trees that still clung to summer’s heat instead of succumbing to the dropping temperature—their green leaves bright against the male’s brown—I would have never seen him.”

  But Kozav had. He’d spied the male and given chase. Furious, unending, bloody chase.

  “I followed him at a distance. I wished to see his destination, his purpose, for crossing the border.” He snorted, his thoughts pulling forward more and more. “I imagined myself to be a peme—spy. I would gather intelligence, bring the male into custody, and report. I would earn medals and awards. I would make my sire proud.” He shuddered, nearly sobbing over the next events. He was a strong male, but even strong males shed tears.

  “I’m here for you.” A single sentence, a few words, and his emotions steadied.

  “I thought it a game. A game… until we reached the outer edges of Croria. It’s one of our largest cities and where the sen Aghins called home.” He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to push away what came next.

  “You mean call home,” she murmured and he shook his head.

  “Called. I am all that is left and after that day… I never returned.” He would get through the rest. “I saw where he headed and dove to catch him. I was going to bury him in the dirt. But the male saw me. And he was fast. Faster than my fifteen turnings. Fast enough to outfly me and fly straight up past me. If I did not hate him for his actions, I would have been in awe. For a Preor to fly straight up, not at an angle, but purely vertical… it is a sight.”

  Kozav paused, hating the rest of the story but knowing it needed to be told. Grace deserved the truth.

  “What happened when he outflew you?”

  “In Earth history…” He sorted through what he knew of Earth’s past. He hunted for the term he needed and pushed onward in his story. “There were warriors. Kamikaze warriors. They went into battle intending to die but would destroy as many others as they could.” Grace nodded and he continued. “This male was a Kamikaze warrior. One of many that day. One of many that succeeded.” He tried to pull his emotions away so he could finish his tale. “Jarek’s sire, Taulass, was a science master for the opposition. He developed a virus that he injected into fanatical males. Once inside one of those males, the virus infected their fire and when they blew their flames, the sickness spread and infected everything it touched.”

  He breathed deeply and shoved down the pain that threatened to engulf him. “It infected every female it touched. Males were not affected. But the quickest way to eliminate a species is to kill the females.” Grace’s grip tightened and he held her closer as well.

  His eyes burned and he did not care that he cried like a female. He shed blood during battle. There was no shame to shed tears as well. “I destroyed that male, but it didn’t save them, shaa kouva.”

  The chase through the city seemed endless, his opponent winding in and out of walkways that connected the aeries. Females didn’t have wings and had to navigate the city somehow. The stranger delved left and right, sliding t
hrough the tiniest spaces.

  Blowing fire with every beat of his wings. Infecting the females with every flex of muscle.

  “I caught him in the central square before the justice masters. I was not as strong or quick, but I had endurance. By the time I sent him spiraling to the ground, I was able to subdue him. He died beneath my claws.” His soul still reveled in the feel of the male’s blood flowing over his claws. “It was not until the first female fell ill that we realized the truth. I rushed to my dam and sister. My sire was gone, fighting for the Haclus. And I… I watched the light leave my dam’s eyes and held my sister close as she called for me, begged me, to end her pain.”

  He could no longer speak then. Not while Oosa’s cries rang in his mind.

  “That wasn’t your fault, Kozav. None of it.”

  Kozav snorted. “I failed in following orders. I did not report my findings or call for assistance.”

  “The pride of youth.”

  “Pride,” he sneered. Pride killed his family. “I did not catch him. I did not stop him. By the time I ended his life, the damage in Croria was done.”

  “And your father?”

  “He is why I was determined to prove my worth before attempting to find a mate on Earth. After my dam died, my sire soon followed.” He pulled back and cupped Grace’s cheeks. He brushed away her endless tears with his thumbs. “I wanted to be strong and honorable for my mate. Because if I found her on Earth, I did not want to give her a worthless mate.”

  “You could never be worthless. Never.”

  “My family—”

  “Died because of crazed males. Not you. They tried to destroy your race. Not you.”

  He prayed to the skies that he could believe her, but he was unwilling to hope. He’d spent so many years—centuries—with the guilt strangling him that he did not know any other way to live.