And Jesse sorely appreciated it since he was still trying to struggle through all the emotions inside of him.
Including the emotions Hannah and her kiss had aroused.
When he realized that he’d rather be spending the few remaining minutes until dinner in the kitchen with Hannah he’d wandered in here.
“Things went as well as can be expected, I guess,” he said with a shrug, turning back to Hannah and taking the heavy platter of meat from her hands. “This is too heavy for you to be lifting, Hannah,” he said quietly. He’d been watching her all afternoon as well, finding excuses to go into the kitchen just so he could be with her. He’d been struck by how hard she worked.
But growing up with a single mother, Jesse knew how hard single mothers, especially those dedicated to their children, like Grace Garland and Hannah had to work. It was a complex juggling act. But still, he wondered and worried how Hannah did it. She had her job here, which was obviously very time-consuming and demanding, not to mention caring for Riley and that run-down monstrosity of a house they lived in. When he first came back into the kitchen, he’d realized just how frazzled Hannah looked from working all day.
“Let me carry this for you.” Before she could protest, he started into the dining room. Hannah followed, knowing he was deliberately avoiding her question and the subject of his brothers. Why, she wasn’t certain. But it made her nerves squeal in silent alarm since she’d been stuck in the kitchen when everyone came home, and she had no idea how that initial meeting had fared.
“Where would you like this?” Jesse asked, earning smiles from the assembled helpers.
“Just set it right in the middle of the table, Jesse,” Hannah instructed as Emma reached across the table and moved the large, fresh floral arrangement Hannah had made for the celebratory dinner. Slender and petite, she had a cap of dark hair and large eyes that made her look fragile and delicate—but Emma was anything but.
“It looks fabulous, Hannah,” Rebecca said with an envious sigh. She took a deep whiff, then pushed her long hair off her face. Rebecca still looked like the investigative reporter—pregnant or not. “And everything smells terrific.”
“Thanks.” In spite of the fact that she was used to compliments on her cooking, Hannah flushed with pride and pleasure.
“I keep telling Jake that I’m going to learn to cook—”
“Threatening me again, sweetheart?” Jake called from the living room where he was sprawled deep in a chair with his baby daughter, Molly, nestled in his lap, sound asleep.
“No, Jake, just trying to expand my interests.” Rebecca glanced at Jesse, feeling the need to explain. “My…uh…culinary expertise begins and ends with boiling hot dogs.” She frowned a bit. “And of course, macaroni and cheese—the kind in the box,” she hurriedly clarified with a laugh and a shrug. “Thank goodness I have a sister-in-law who owns a diner.” She glanced affectionately at Emma, then at Hannah. “And Hannah for everything else. Otherwise Jake and I would probably starve.”
“I didn’t marry you for your cooking skills, sweet heart,” Jake called, turning his head to wink at Jesse. “Trust me, bro, she has other more interesting…skills.”
“Jake!” Appalled and embarrassed, Rebecca glared at her husband. “There are children here,” she reminded him primly. “Including your own daughter.”
“See what I mean?” Smiling at Jesse, Jake wiggled his eyebrows, amused by his wife’s embarrassment.
“I reckon I do,” Jesse said with a laugh, realizing he was enjoying the camaraderie as well as the company. With a grin, Jesse glanced at Rebecca. He’d liked her immediately, and the enormous love between her and Jake was obvious.
“You’re almost as bad as he is,” Rebecca accused with a roll of her eyes, making Jesse chuckle.
“Well then, darlin’, guess that just means I’m falling behind.” Still grinning, he slipped his hands in his pockets and sent Jake a wink. “Guess I’ll have to work a bit harder, to catch up then.”
“Men!” Rebecca said, aiming a napkin at Jesse, who ducked just in time.
“Hey, babe, the Ryan men stick together,” Jake called back. His gaze met Jesse’s and for a moment the two brothers, the oldest and the youngest, stared at each other, a silent message of understanding passing between them. Jesse felt something much stronger, deeper, pass through him, moving his heart in a way that left him shaken.
“You’re all hopeless,” Rebecca said with a laugh, earning a nod of agreement from her fellow Ryan females.
“Uncle Jesse’s not hopeless,” Riley defended indignantly, wrapping her arms around Jesse’s leg and glancing up at him adoringly. “He’s wonderful.”
Chuckling softly, Jesse reached down and scooped Riley up in his arms. “Well now, darlin’, thank you for defending my honor.” He planted a loud, smacking kiss on her cheek and Riley snuggled closer. “I think you’re wonderful too.”
“See what I mean,” Rebecca declared with a smile of pretend disgust, encompassing the rest of the women with a glance. “Five minutes and every female in the house adores him.” She shook her head, then lifted her hands in supplication. “What on earth are we going to do with them?”
“Well, darlin’,” Jesse said, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes as his gaze met Jake’s and he saw the approval there, “I reckon between us we could uh…think of a few interesting things.” Still holding Riley in his arms, Jesse turned toward Hannah. Their eyes met, held, and she couldn’t help but think of the interesting kiss they’d shared. She flushed bright red and averted her gaze to the table. “Yes indeed,” Jesse said with a wink to Rebecca. “Very interesting things.”
“Time to eat,” Hannah all but groaned, anxious to be out from under Jesse’s knowing gaze and charming smile.
Dinner at the Ryan household was always chaotic at best. On a night when the whole family had gathered, it was more like a three-ring circus, with kids spilling, giggling and teasing.
Adults passed overflowing platters of food back and forth, chattering one over the other, laughing and enjoying the company as well as the meal.
And through it all, Tommy Ryan sat at the head of the table, beaming at his family, totally content.
“’Tis a glorious night for a celebration,” he finally said when dinner had been completed and Hannah’s decadent chocolate mousse cake had been oohed and aahed over and devoured.
Now, as coffee was passed and after-dinner drinks poured, Tommy wanted a moment to savor this night, this dinner. And his family.
He lifted his brandy snifter, then let his gaze travel around the table. His heart warmed and swelled until he felt for certain it would burst from the joy filling it to nearly overflowing.
He cleared his throat to get everyone’s attention. The din softened but didn’t silence until he picked up his knife and tapped it gently against the delicate snifter he held in his hand. The room quieted instantly and all eyes turned to him.
“The entire Ryan clan is gathered together tonight for the first time in twenty years.” Pride had him swallowing the lump that had clogged his throat as he let his gaze shift around the table. “And what better time for a toast?”
“To my eldest grandson, Jake.” He smiled as a rumble of laughter worked around the table. “Aye, I must admit you were always a rebel and a hellion, truth be told. And you gave me more than your fair share of worry.” Tommy’s own chuckle mixed with everyone else’s. “More so than all your brothers combined. But I’m pleased to say you’ve grown into a fine, fine man, Jake. Tamed, of course, by the right woman.” Tommy tipped his glass in salute toward Rebecca, who blew him a kiss in return. “And I’m proud of you, Jake. Very proud. You and Rebecca have given me a beautiful granddaughter, a lass who I’m certain, with the true luck of the Irish, will grow up to give you back all the worry that you gave to me.” Amidst laughter, Tommy lifted his glass, as did everyone else, and took a sip of his brandy before continuing.
“Then there’s Jared.” The murmurs were as quiet and subdued as the man himsel
f. Tommy shook his head. “Aye, son, you were always more like your father than any of your brothers.” Tommy’s voice had softened a bit at the mention of his long-deceased son, the pain still raw after all these years. “Looking at you, lad, why, it’s like looking at your father when he was a young man. All quiet strength and solemn responsibility. You worried me some, too, if the truth be told—”
“Me?” Jared said in surprise, ignoring the laughter that rippled around the table. As the second oldest, Jared had the same dark hair and enormous Ryan blue eyes but he was much more serious and subdued than his brothers.
“Aye, lad, you,” Tommy admitted with a twinkle in his eyes. “You were far too serious for your own good. Your love of the land—Ryan land—made me worry that you’d never find it in your heart to love anything else.” Tommy’s gaze shifted to Natalie, Jared’s wife who reached for her husband’s hand under the table. With her long ebony hair and slender figure, it was hard to believe she was the mother of four. “But, aye, like your oldest brother, you were fortunate to have the love of a good woman to help you see the light, to show you there was more to life than…cow patties.” Laughter swelled again and Tommy paused, waiting for it to quiet down. “And you’re well on your way to having a full-scale clan of your own.” Grinning, Tommy tipped his glass to the corner of the dining room where four bassinets, two holding Jared’s infant twin sons, were lined up and where a small table had been set for the children.
The table was empty.
Timmy and Terry, Jared and Natalie’s oldest set of twin boys were too busy trying to feed gumdrops to the dogs, Ruth and Ditka, under the table to notice that all eyes were on them.
Tommy chuckled as he returned his attention to Jared once again. “And lad, I couldn’t be prouder.” Lifting his glass, Tommy took a sip, then added. “May you be blessed with a dozen more sons, lad, twins all of them.”
At Jared’s groan, everyone laughed as Tommy continued.
“Now then there’s Josh,” Tommy said with a deliberately heavy sigh, making everyone chuckle again. “Aye, with your fancy business and law degrees, you’ve always had a head for business and you’ve secured the Ryans’ future—all the Ryans—” Tommy inserted, letting his gaze encompass everyone, adult and child alike. “For all of our futures.” Bringing his gaze back to Josh, Tommy grinned. “And lad, I couldn’t be prouder.” Tommy shook his head. “But aye, along with that head for business, lad, you also had an eye…for the ladies.” Josh grinned until his wife, Emma, gave him a delicate poke with her elbow. It was a rare day when Josh, who was the spitting image of his brothers, wasn’t dressed in his usual businessman’s suit—and today was one of those days making Josh look less like a tycoon and more human and approachable. “You gave me a spot of worry, too, lad, wondering if the only thing you’d every let claim your heart was the next deal.” Fingering his glass of brandy, Tommy glanced up at Emma, then grinned broadly, love shining in his eyes. “But, like your brothers, you’re no fool. You knew a good woman—the right woman—when you saw her—”
“Yeah, even if it did almost take a steamroller to hit him before he realized it,” Jake said, resting his arm over the back of his chair as he winked at Emma and then grinned at his brother Josh.
“And now, lad, you and Emma have given your late grandmother a namesake, little Brie,” Tommy said, letting his gaze shift to one of the white bassinets where his youngest granddaughter lay sleeping quietly. At least for the moment. “Aye, lad, she would have been proud, your grandmother. Very proud. As am I.” Tommy lifted his glass again and took another sip before turning his attention to Jesse.
He stilled for a moment, gathering his thoughts. When he spoke again, his voice was shaking with emotion. The table quieted as all eyes turned to him.
“Jesse.” Tommy paused, trying to contain the wild rush of emotion, lifting his gaze to Jesse’s, seeing so many, many things in the lad’s face.
Sitting opposite Tommy, at the other end of the table, Jesse shifted his weight nervously, unaccustomed to being the center of attention. Especially in a room full of so many people—virtual strangers, his mind corrected. But he didn’t feel uncomfortable, he realized. Just a small bout of nervousness, which he figured was only natural.
Under the table, he felt Hannah reach for his hand. She’d been sitting next to him all during dinner. Every once in a while he’d sneak a glance at her, or catch her looking at him. They’d both quickly look away, as if embarrassed to be caught looking at the other. It both amused and intrigued him.
Now, feeling the warmth of her hand on his made him relax just a bit more, certain he could endure whatever was to come, feeling just a bit more comfortable than he had several hours ago, realizing she had a lot to do with it.
In spite of her dire warnings about what would happen if he hurt Tommy or any of the Ryans, he felt as if she was his special ally who would be there if she needed him. There was some kind of deep emotional connection between them, Jesse realized. And he didn’t understand it any more than he’d understood anything else during the past three months. All he knew was that it was there between them, drawing them closer in a way he found natural. Comfortable.
It had been a long time since he’d felt so comfortable with a woman, Jesse realized. A long time. And longer still since he hadn’t run when a woman had touched something deeper than his body. But there was no denying Hannah had.
It scared him, admittedly, but he wasn’t running yet, he thought. He couldn’t. So he’d just have to be careful, he realized. Mind his step, as she would say. Because the last thing he wanted to do was lose his heart. He’d already lost so much, he didn’t want to add anything else to the mix, especially since his emotions were both raw and torn now, making it far too easy for him to let his feelings go unchecked.
Something he knew he had to be careful of.
He glanced at her now, amazed again at how beautiful she was. Even after a day spent in the kitchen, bent over a hot stove cooking. He smiled at her, enjoying her touch, her warmth.
He squeezed Hannah’s hand in acknowledgment, then linked his fingers through hers and held on, wondering how she kept her hands so soft when she worked as hard as she did.
“Jesse, my boy,” Tommy began. “It’s been a very, very long time since you sat at this table with your family.”
“Too long,” Jake interjected, meeting his baby brother’s gaze.
“Hear. Hear,” Josh said, lifting his glass with a hand that wasn’t quite steady to take a sip of his drink.
“We’ve missed you more than words can ever say,” Tommy continued softly, never letting his gaze waver from Jesse’s. “There was a time we thought we’d never have this night together.” Tommy’s smile was small and he had to take a sip of his drink to clear his throat again.
“A long time,” Jared said quietly, reaching out an arm to catch his son Terry and to slow him down a bit before he raced off after the dogs.
Tommy smiled across the table. “But you’re here now, lad, and we couldn’t be happier. ’Tis a dream come true for the Ryans. All the Ryans,” Tommy emphasized. “And although there have been many years passed, and many memories lost, we all want you to know how proud we are of you, and how happy we are that you’re home.” Tommy’s voice broke and he shook his head as he reached in his pocket for his handkerchief to dab his eyes. With a sniffle and a smile, he lifted his glass in the air. “To you, Jesse, my boy. Welcome back to the clan.”
“Hear, hear.” Glasses were raised in toast, and Hannah found herself watching Jesse, feeling a surge of warmth for him. He’d been nothing but a gentlemen with his family all day. Whatever she’d been expecting hadn’t come to pass. For the moment at least, Jesse seemed to be handling everything just fine.
Her gaze shifted to Tommy. And dear, sweet Tommy couldn’t be happier, she thought, knowing Jesse had been the cause.
She glanced back at Jesse again and found him watching her curiously. She flushed a bit, trying to free her hand from his. But h
e held on, lifting it from under the table, in full view of everyone, before lifting her hand to kiss.
“That was a wonderful meal, Hannah,” he said quietly. “Thank you.”
“Aye, lass, a thousand pardons,” Tommy said with a shake of his head. “I must be getting daft in my old age, to not even mention this fine, fine meal you prepared for us.” With a grin, Tommy lifted his glass to her. “To Hannah. We don’t know what we’d do without you.”
“Starve,” Jake said, earning a poke in the belly from Rebecca and laughter from everyone else.
Tommy waited for the table to quiet before continuing, his gaze firmly on Hannah’s. “Lass, you know I was never blessed with a daughter, but aye, you’ve been the daughter of my heart. You’re a welcome addition to this family, and a well-loved one at that.”
“Oh, Tommy.” Tears in her eyes, Hannah pressed her free hand to her lips. “I love all of you as well.”
“May you find all the happiness you want and deserve. And be blessed with a dozen more little lasses like your darling Riley.”
Hannah almost choked at the thought. “A dozen?” she laughed. “I think I’d better settle for the one indignant imp I’ve got.”
“To you both, then, Hannah. With our love and appreciation.” Tommy lifted his glass toward her and drank deeply, letting his gaze go around the table at his family one more time, feeling a peace and contentment that had eluded him for many years.
“You truly love them, don’t you?” Jesse whispered to Hannah. She turned to him. He was still holding her hand, and her heart and pulse were reacting in kind.
“Yes,” she admitted with a small smile. “More than I can ever say.” She met his gaze, held it. “They’re my family,” she said simply. “They always have been and always will be.” She hesitated a minute. “They’re yours, too, Jesse,” she said quietly, holding his hand tightly. “If you’ll let them be.”
Jesse said nothing. Instead, he raised her hand, kissed it gently, then glanced away, leaving Hannah with an odd ache in her heart.
A Family to Come Home To (Saddle Falls) Page 8
