A Family to Come Home To (Saddle Falls)

by De Vita, Sharon

  “Uncle Jesse, I’m really glad you came home,” Riley said, snuggling deeper into his lap with a huge yawn. Night had fallen, the dinner table had been cleared, and dishes were done. Now a hint of moonlight filtered in through the Ryan living-room windows, casting a warm, sweet glow throughout.

  “You are, darlin’?” He grinned at her. “Now why’s that?”

  “Well…” She hesitated, then glanced around the Ryan living room where everyone was engaged in some after-dinner relaxation. She lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “Because Timmy and Terry gots a daddy who plays with them and holds them on his lap.”

  Jesse glanced at Jared, sitting with his arm around his wife, Natalie, as they each held a twin—little Jesse, also known as J.J. to avoid confusion, and Joey—who were only a few months old.

  Jesse’s gaze shifted, watching in amusement as Timmy and Terry, Jared and Natalie’s older twins, sat at their parents’ feet, surreptitiously trying to feed the dogs more gumdrops. Jesse had to smother a laugh. He had to give Jared and his wife credit. It took a great deal of guts to handle two sets of twin boys. He loved children and looked forward to having them, but he wasn’t certain he was quite that brave.

  “Yes, darlin’,” Jesse said, turning back to Riley who shifted and slung one arm possessively around his neck. “I can see that.”

  “And…even little Molly gets to sit on Uncle Jake’s lap.” It was hard not to miss the longing in the little imp’s voice.

  Jesse glanced across the room. Jake was holding his baby daughter in his lap, bouncing and cooing at her, all the while keeping up a heated debate with his wife, Rebecca, about the name as well as the sex of their next child.

  Rebecca had assured everyone at dinner that she hadn’t conceived yet, but didn’t want to wait to the last minute. She was convinced another girl was in the offing, while Jake was certain this time it had to be a boy.

  “I can see that, too, darlin’,” Jesse admitted, realizing with a pang where this was going. Oh, what this child was doing to his heart, he thought, tying a rope around it and lassoing it for sure.

  “And Uncle Josh or Aunt Emma are always holding or playing with Brie,” Riley added with a huge sigh that sounded far too much like longing, a longing that deeply touched Jesse’s heart.

  His gaze shifted again, following Riley’s line of vision to where Josh and his wife, Emma, sat snuggled together on a love seat, their daughter, Brie, quietly sleeping on her father’s shoulder.

  “Well, darlin’,” Jesse began, realizing Riley had laid her head on his shoulder and was struggling to stay awake. “I imagine it’s because Brie’s just a little tyke. And I don’t reckon she can sit up by herself yet. So that’s why she has to sit on her mama or daddy’s lap.”

  “Sometimes I get to sit on one of their laps but not always.” Eyes drooping with fatigue, Riley managed a smile as she wound her skinny arm tighter around Jesse’s neck and snuggled into a more comfortable position. “But now that you’re here, Uncle Jesse, I get to sit on your lap.”

  “Why, you’re absolutely right, Miss Riley,” he said quietly, touched by the openness and vulnerability in the child. “Seeing’s how I don’t have any babies of my own to keep my lap warm, I guess you’re gonna just have to do the job for me.” Grinning at the delight on her face, he pressed his forehead to hers. “That is, if you don’t mind?”

  She shook her head furiously, sending her pigtails flying. “I don’t mind, Uncle Jesse.” Her head continued to shake. “Honest. I like sitting on your lap.”

  “Well now, darlin’, I like having you sit here.” He jiggled his leg, bouncing her a bit as she snuggled even closer to him.

  “Jesse.” He felt Hannah’s hand on his shoulder and turned to her with a smile. “I think I’d better take her home. She’s almost asleep on her feet.”

  “I’m not tired, Mama,” Riley protested, hugging Jesse tighter.

  “Yes, sweetheart,” Hannah said, running a gentle hand over her daughter’s head. “I can see that you’re not tired,” she said, giving Jesse a meaningful glance.

  Every time she saw Jesse with her daughter, saw the patience and love flowing from him, Hannah was torn between wanting to weep and wanting to jump for joy.

  Weep because of all that Riley had missed by not having a father of her own. A father that, as Riley grew older, would be missed more and more. And the thought of depriving her daughter of something—anything—she wanted and needed so desperately made Hannah infinitely sad.

  Long ago, she’d realized she could give her daughter all her love, all her attention and devotion, but she couldn’t give her a father, and Hannah wouldn’t give Riley a father who didn’t want her or couldn’t accept her. No, Hannah thought. It was much better this way. Much better. Never knowing her father was better than having to try to accept the fact that her father didn’t want her, Hannah realized from her own personal experience. And although she might not be able to provide a father for her daughter, she could protect her child in the best way she knew how. And for now, that would just have to be enough.

  But every time she saw Jesse with her daughter, saw his kindness, his patience and his simple goodwill toward her, it brought both an ache to her heart as well as a round of joy. There were very few men in the world who would treat a child the way Jesse had treated Riley from the moment they’d met.

  Jesse gave Riley his undivided attention, making it quite clear he had a genuine affection for children. He seemed to understand them on a level most adults didn’t.

  He didn’t patronize Riley, nor did he try to pacify her. He merely treated her with respect and dignity, like a person, and not a child. Something that was very rare and very hard for most adults to do.

  “Hannah, if you want, Jared can run you and Riley home,” Natalie offered, carrying a sleeping baby of her own toward his bedroom.

  “Thanks, Natalie,” Jesse responded, standing and cradling Riley in his arms. “But if it’s all right, I think I’ll walk them home.”

  “Fine by me,” Natalie said as she headed down the hallway toward the twins’ bedroom.

  “Jesse.” Hannah placed a hand on his arm. “That’s not necessary. Jared can drive us, or I can walk by myself.” She smiled at him. “Riley and I walk home all the time.” She shrugged. “It’s really no big deal. It’s been a long day and I’m sure you’re tired.”

  “Not too tired to walk my best girl home,” he said, planting a soft kiss on Riley’s head. He glanced down at her, noted her eyes were closed and there was a look of happy contentment on her face. It pleased him on a level too deep for him to understand at the moment. “Go get your things,” he instructed Hannah. “I’ll meet you out front.” After explaining that he’d be back in a little bit, Jesse headed out the front door with Riley in his arms.

  The night had barely cooled off, but the sky was clear and almost a pearly black, with stars twinkling overhead like diamonds set on fire.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Hannah asked, coming out the front door and down the steps to join him. She lived across the street and less than a block away.

  “That it is, darlin’,” he admitted as they started walking toward the hill. Deliberately, he slowed his steps to match hers. He glanced at her, worry etched on his face. “You look beat.”

  She smiled, then shook her head. “I guess I am a little tired. But it’s been a long and extraordinary day,” she admitted, giving him a smile. “But tomorrow’s my day off, so I’ll have a chance to rest a bit and get caught up.”

  “So tell me, what do you do on your day off?”

  She laughed, reaching in the back pocket of her jeans for her house keys. “Well, the question might be what don’t I do?” She shook her head, inhaling long and deep of the fresh night air. It felt good after being cooped up inside all day. “Let’s see, tomorrow I’ll go on spider patrol.”

  “Spider patrol?” he repeated with a lift of his eyebrow, making her laugh. “And what exactly is spider patrol?”
>
  “Well,” she began thoughtfully, “this is the desert, Jesse, and we have lots of creepy-crawly things. Particularly spiders. Black widows. Scorpions and tarantulas. Now, I’m not a coward, but I’m also not partial to creepy things.” She grinned at him. “They give me the creeps,” she laughed, rubbing her hands up and down her arms at the thought. “They also make me screech and squeal like a hyena,” she admitted. “Not to mention that if Riley even sees one she has nightmares for weeks.” She paused to take a deep breath. “So once a month, at night, I go on spider patrol. I take a flashlight and go out into the backyard—accompanied by the largest, meanest-looking stick I can find, and using my flashlight I find the spiderwebs. Wherever they’ve made their webs are where the babies are—”

  “And babies grow up to be big, right?” he asked, understanding completely.

  “Absolutely. So, as long as I find and destroy the webs it keeps the spider population under control.”

  “Do you do this every month?” he asked in surprise, realizing that in spite of her lighthearted recitation, this was clearly something she didn’t find particularly pleasant. But she was doing it for her daughter, he thought, feeling another burst of admiration for her. Overcoming her own fears to protect her child.

  “At least,” she admitted. “No matter how late or how tired I am. I try to do it no less than every month.” She shrugged. “And I’m about due. I particularly want to do it now. The last thing I want along with all of Riley’s other fears about school is for her to see a spider and then start having nightmares.”

  “I see,” he said quietly. “Okay, so what else do you do on your day off?”

  “Well, I have to cram a lot into tomorrow, Jesse. But just because the next few weeks are going to be very hectic. I have to go grocery shopping for my own house. Then it’ll be a trip to the doctor with Riley to get her final checkup before she starts school.” Hannah shook her head. “It’s hard to believe she’s going to start school in less than two weeks.” She glanced affectionately at her daughter who was sleeping soundly in Jesse’s arms. “She’s growing up so fast,” Hannah said wistfully, feeling a tug in her heart.

  She’d always known Riley would probably be her only child, and she’d thought she’d come to accept it. But knowing she’d never be able to have the big family she’d always desired and yearned for made her sad.

  Being a mother had always been the most important, wonderful thing she’d ever done, and she loved it.

  Still looking wistfully at her daughter, Hannah sighed, wishing things could be different for her, wishing for all the other things women her age wanted, like more children. A husband. A real family. Someone to lean on during tough times; someone to share things with during good times.

  Surprised by her own thoughts, Hannah quickly shook the notion away. She certainly didn’t have time for self-pity or regrets. She had a beautiful daughter, a wonderful job and a very nice life. It should be more than enough.

  “Riley and I will make a quick stop at the library to return some books and pick up new ones so I can read to her every night. Then we’ll hit the mall for some last-minute shopping for school clothes and a new pair of tennis shoes for her, and then it’s back home to do some chores around the house before dinner.”

  Amazed, Jesse shook his head as they neared her house. “And that’s what you call a day off?”

  She laughed. “Absolutely.”

  They were standing in front of her house now. Jesse glanced up at the imposing white structure, now faded and forlorn. “Are you telling me you maintain this house all by yourself?”

  She laughed, heading up the back-porch steps to unlock the door. When she hit the third step, it gave a long, ominous creak. “Either I do it, Jesse, or it doesn’t get done.” Hannah glanced at the house she’d grown up in. It wasn’t until she’d had Riley, a child of her own, that she’d actually starting thinking of this house as a home. Perhaps because it never had been before. She’d grown up in this house and had returned to Saddle Falls when she got pregnant, renting a small apartment in town. After her parents’ deaths when she learned they’d left the house to Riley in trust, Hannah had moved back to her childhood home with her own daughter, determined to make it a real home. “Do you mind carrying her up to bed?” Hannah whispered as she swung open the door and stepped into the darkness of the mudroom. Quickly, she flipped on a light, then led Jesse through the house and up the stairs.

  “Her bedroom is right there, at the end of the hall.” Walking ahead of him, Hannah was already pulling stuffed animals and dolls off the bed when Jesse laid Riley down.

  “Uncle Jesse?” Riley whispered sleepily as her mother pulled off her tennis shoes and set them on the floor.

  “Yes, darlin’?” He sat down on the bed next to her, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Gently, he reached up and freed her hair from their pigtails.

  “Can you come over to play tomorrow?”

  Smothering a smile, Jesse glanced up at Hannah. “Well, darlin’, your mama seems to have a full day planned. I don’t reckon she’s going to have time to…uh…play with me what with spider patrol, shopping and going to the doctor.”

  “Please?” The pleading in the child’s eyes caught his heart. Riley managed to lift herself on one elbow and motioned him closer with one finger. “Mama’s afraid of spiders,” she whispered.

  “Is that a fact?” Jesse said.

  Riley nodded sleepily. “They make her screech and run.”

  Banking a smile at the image, Jesse tucked the blanket up higher on Riley. “Well then, darlin’, I reckon I’d best better come over then, don’t you think? We sure don’t want your mama screeching and running, now, do we?” he whispered, making the child giggle. “Why, she just might scare those spiders to death.”

  Still giggling, Riley scrunched her pillow, making it more comfortable before snuggling down on it. “Could you go shopping with us, too, Uncle Jesse? I’m getting new clothes for school.” She yawned, snuggled deeper under the covers. “I’m not afraid to go to school,” she said sleepily. “Honest, Uncle Jesse. Some kids will be scared, but not me.”

  “Of course you’re not scared, darlin’.” The tugs on his heart were a pleasant surprise, as was the fierce sense of protectiveness that rose up. Charmed, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “And I’d love to go shopping with you, Miss Riley. Provided that you promise to go to sleep now.” He slid his finger down her nose. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you sleep makes you beautiful?”

  “’kay, Uncle Jesse.” She yawned. “Good night.”

  “Night, darlin’.” Jesse kissed her forehead, then rose, and waited in the hall while Hannah tucked her daughter in, gave her a good-night kiss and snapped the light off. Hannah took one long look at her sleeping daughter before shutting the door softly behind her.

  When she turned he was right there, blocking her path, his eyes on hers. Suddenly nervous, Hannah wrung her hands together. “You know, Jesse, you’re very good with her.”

  He shrugged off the compliment. “She’s adorable. It would be hard not to be.” He touched Hannah’s cheek. She looked beat; her eyes were shadowed and her shoulders looked tight. He wanted to reach out and massage the tension from those beautiful slender shoulders. Instead, he tucked his hands in his pocket, remembering his own cautions to himself. “You’ve done an incredible job with her. She’s an absolute pistol of a kid.”

  Pleased at his words, Hannah laughed, realizing they were standing in the quiet, empty hallway, bathed in the very dim light of the hall night-light, which created an unusual sense of intimacy.

  She was trying not to be nervous. But she knew how she responded to Jesse, his touch and his mere presence. Right now, she was tired, her nerves taut from the long, emotional day, and her defenses were not where they should be. So why wasn’t she more on guard? she wondered, looking up at him. She didn’t know, and that frightened her far more than anything else. She rarely let her guard down with a man.

  “Would you like so
me coffee?” she asked, trying to move past him. Ignoring his own mental cautions, he blocked her path, sliding his hands to her waist and holding her in place. The look in his eye and the grin on his face had her backing up a bit, until she felt the wall at her back. Her pulse kicked up a notch and she could feel it thumping pleasantly in her ears.

  “Actually, darlin’, there is something I want.” His smile was slow, sexy and lethal as his gaze settled on her mouth, and he stepped closer, close enough to her to feel the warmth of his body run the length of her. “But it sure isn’t coffee.”

  Chapter Five

  “Jesse.” Hannah had to swallow. The look on his face, in his eyes, was wreaking havoc on her defenses. And she was far too tired at the moment to truly fight off the feelings swamping her. Her defenses were depleted by sheer nerves and adrenaline, not to mention a full day of work. “I told you, I don’t think this…is…uh…a good idea.”

  Surprised by the panic that leaped in her eyes, Jesse decided to back off. The last thing in the world he wanted was to scare her or make her uncomfortable.

  One brow rose. “I was just going to ask you what you do for fun.” The twinkle in his eye set her face flaming.

  “Oh!” Hannah shook her head, feeling horrifically embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I—”

  “Yeah, darlin’, I know.” He grinned at her. “But seems to me you’re about dead on your feet and you don’t need to be pushed or pressed any further today.” He shrugged. “I just wanted to know what you do for fun.”

  She laughed, dragging a hand through her hair. He surprised her by reaching up and tugging the pins loose, letting her hair spill free down her back, then combing his fingers through the silky strands. Even though he only touched just her hair, she could feel the quick increase in her pulse from his nearness.

  “Fun?” She wasn’t going to be able to think, let alone talk, if he kept touching her. It muddled her mind, she realized. Simply muddled her mind. Something that had never happened to her before.