by Ria
seated beside Rudolph in the silver-grey Chevrolet which he had hired for
the day. Was she, because of her inexperience, imagining an attraction and
therefore allowing him to sweep her off her feet? Was he serious, or was he
indulging in a harmless flirtation?
'You're very quiet,' he remarked suddenly as they sped along the coastal
road to Durban. 'Are you having doubts about spending the day with me?'
He was so close to the truth that her cheeks flamed. 'I'm a novice where
men are concerned.'
'I find it difficult to believe that there've been no other men in your life.'
'It's the truth,' she insisted urgently, turning slightly in her seat to face him.
'There was never any time to indulge in lighthearted affairs. My studies
always came first.'
Rudolph negotiated a sharp bend before speaking. 'Will it help you to relax
if I give you my word that my intentions are honourable?'
She flushed deeply, gripping her hands tightly in her lap. 'I never thought
for one moment that your intentions were dishonourable, but when friends
are concerned for your welfare they're inclined to fill your mind with
doubts.'
'Trust me, Janey,' he said simply, glancing at her briefly, and for some
indefinable reason she knew that she could trust him.
The highlight of the day, for Janey, was their visit to the Indian market. It
was like stepping into a different world, where the aromatic odours of
fragrant spices drifted between the stalls displaying their curios, ivory, and
primitive masks carved in wood. Rudolph admired the oriental brass- ware,
while Janey found her attention captured by the semi-precious jewellery. In
particular, a pendant, with an amber-coloured stone set in silver, caught her
eye.
'Do you like it?' Rudolph asked casually as he stood leaning against a
wooden pillar with his hands thrust into his trouser pockets, and a look of
amusement on his face.
'I think it's beautiful,' she sighed, touching the large stone with a gentle
finger, only to find it removed from her hands and fastened about her neck.
'It's yours,' Rudolph said, and a large sum of money exchanged hands
before he turned her face to him. The sun had settled in his hair, and it was
once again like burnished copper as his eyes lingered on the stone lying
against her smoothly tanned skin.
'I can't accept such an expensive gift from you, Rudolph.'
Those lazy eyelids lifted and she plummeted into a state of confusion as
those startling eyes met hers. 'There are no strings attached to this gift,
Janey. Consider it a memento of your holiday in Natal.'
There was a gentle rebuke in his voice that made her lower her glance with
shame. 'Forgive me for being so ungracious, and thank you for giving me
this lovely .pendant.'
She touched the stone with loving fingers as Rudolph caught her chin
between his strong fingers and raised her face to his.
'If you continue to look so sad about my gift, I shall kiss you here in front
of everyone,' he threatened and, at the look of devilment in his eyes, she
knew that he would do exactly as he had said, regardless of the tourists
milling about them and the curious glances of the Indian women in their
colourful saris. At the thought of their astonished expressions, she burst out
laughing.
That's better,' he said briskly, taking her arm as they made their way back
to where he had parked the car.
'Where are you taking me now?' she asked curiously.
'Somewhere where it's quiet, and where we can talk.'
'Somewhere quiet' turned out to be a lagoon where they parked the car and
walked beneath the shady trees along the path laid out among the rockeries
and ferns. They found a bench beneath a palm tree that hid them from the
prying eyes of those who were picnicking around them and, all her life,
Janey would associate the smell of damp earth and the sound of water
trickling over the rocks, with that hot January afternoon spent with Rudolph.
He lit a cigarette and smoked for a while, leaving her free to study him in
silence. His hair was thick and lustrous, with an obvious tendency to fall
across his broad forehead if he did not brush it back so severely. His features
spoke of character and determination, and his hands were long-fingered and
strong, the nails kept short and neat. His grey slacks and dark blue towelling
shirt accentuated his tanned fitness and muscular arms.
Janey raised her eyes and found that he, in turn, had been studying her. She
sustained his glance bravely, her heartbeats so loud that she was certain he
must hear them, and, lost in the grey-green brilliance of his eyes, she held
her breath while emotions swamped her and left her floundering.
'Don't look at me like that,' she begged tremulously, wrenching her glance
from his and willing her pulse rate to subside while she focussed almost
desperately on a small frog making its laborious way into the undergrowth.
'Why shouldn't I look at you?'
'You ... confuse me.'
'Perhaps this will be less confusing,' he said, taking her chin between his
fingers and capturing her lips with his own.
It had begun as a lingering, exploratory kiss, but it grew in passion until
she felt his arms slip about her, drawing her into a close embrace. For a few
delirious moments the world stood still, then she fought against her rising
emotions, and against the strange tremors that shook through her.
'Rudolph, what's happening to me?' she gasped as his lips strayed across
her cheek to the hollow in her throat, leaving behind a trail of fire. 'It
frightens me to think about it.'
'You're trying too hard to arialyse your feelings. Just relax and let it
happen, then you'll understand.'
This time she surrendered unconditionally to his lips and arms, and found
herself transported to a place where nothing mattered except the exquisite
pleasure of that moment. Her heart was beating out an answer which she
found herself grappling with mentally until she could no longer think, only
feel.
'This is—but it can't be—love? I love you,' she whispered haltingly,
bewildered by her own discovery, her grey eyes wide and searching. 'But it's
impossible!'
A smile of satisfaction played about his lips. 'Why should it be so
impossible, when I've loved you from the first moment I saw you hiding
behind that ridiculous rubber plant?'
'But we hardly know each other,' she protested, her fingers exploring the
cleft in his chin.
'Can one place a time limit on the awareness of love?' he demanded,
capturing her hand and pressing his warm lips against her palm. 'I admit that
it isn't always instantaneous,
but it can happen. It has happened to us.'
'How can we be sure that it isn't just a physical attraction?'
'Because, my darling Janey, I don't just want your body, but your mind and
soul as well.' His eyes were pinpoints of fire, devouring her with their
intensity. 'Will you marry me?'
A shock of happiness rippled through her. 'Rudolph, I— ,you must give me
time to think.'
'Don
't think, just let your heart answer for you,' he insisted, his lips finding
the hollow in her throat where a pulse was beating frantically.
'You know what the answer will be if I allow my heart to speak for me, but
I have an obligation to my parents,' she whispered breathlessly, fighting
against the drowning sensation his hands and lips were creating. 'I must
prepare them for the shock that their usually level-headed daughter has lost
her heart to a man whose acquaintanceship can be counted in hours.'
'Can it be that I've known you such a short time, when it feels as though I
must have known you all my life?'
'Oh, Rudolph, I feel the same, but we must be sensible and give ourselves
time to make sure.' She held him off with her hands against his chest, and
felt the heavy beat of his heart. 'What do we really know about each other?'
His smile was instantly mocking. 'Would you like a resume of my life?
Where I was born, what school I went to, and how many women there've
been in my life?'
'Don't make fun of me, Rudolph, I ... have there been many women?' she
asked suddenly, aware of the tension growing within her to a point where
she wanted to cry out with the pain of it.
'A few not worth recalling,' he replied abruptly, his hand sliding along her
arm and arousing a fire which only his lips could extinguish satisfactorily.
'How do you know that in a few months' time you won't place me in the
same category?'
'Because, Janey, you're the only woman I've ever admitted loving, and the
only one I shall ever want to marry.'
. 'Rudolph- -'
'Stop searching for cracks in the surface of our relationship,' he said
harshly, and her breath locked in her throat as those muscular arms
tightened about her. 'Let's accept the fact that we love each other, and take it
from there. We have the rest of our lives to get to know all the minor details,
and each discovery will bring us closer together.'
Her arguments were smothered beneath the demanding pressure of his
lips, and she gave up the struggle to think coherently as wave after wave of
delight swept through her.
Janey was hopelessly in love, and as those glorious summer days slipped by,
the wonder of it enfolded and encased her in a cocoon of false security.
She .was living only for Rudolph, and quite oblivious of the growing
concern in the eyes of Alison and her parents. Her happiness was too great,
her love too intense, she told herself in her saner moments. Something had
to happen to break the spell that was cast upon her, for nothing this
wonderful could happen to someone as ordinary as herself. It was a
recurring thought which she constantly had to push aside.
She discovered quite a number of things about Rudolph during those
blissful days. His father owned one of the leading firms in the country that
supplied the farmers with machinery and equipment. It was expected of him
to step into his father's position one day, but, until then, he was determined
to enjoy his moments of leisure. His sister, Esme, still had two years at
school before attending university and, with his mother, who was left rather
frail after the birth of her daughter, they lived in the family mansion in
Houghton, one of the exclusive suburbs of Johannesburg.
It all sounded terribly impressive, but it would not have mattered to Janey
if he had been an ordinary labourer. She loved him as a person, and not for
the position he held in society.
Towards the middle of the second week of their holiday, something
happened to bring her down to earth with a violence that shook her. It had
been raining all day and they had spent the afternoon in the local theatre,
holding hands and watching an old movie they had both seen before. There
was nothing else to do in the torrential rain, and they had toured all the
places of interest along the coast.
She had laughed happily as they splashed through the rain on their way to
the hotel, but, once there, the blow fell. A telegram awaited Rudolph, and
she watched him anxiously as he ripped open the envelope, a paleness seep-
ing up beneath his tanned features as he read the contents.
'Is it serious?’ she whispered, the chill of unaccustomed fear licking at her
heart.
Rudolph pulled himself together with an effort and drew her aside, the
grimness of his expression deepening the tension within her.
'My father collapsed at work today,' he explained briefly. 'I shall have to
contact my mother and find out exactly what happened, and if it's as serious
as I suspect it is, then I'll have to arrange for an immediate flight home.'
The axe of fate had dropped with an accuracy that stunned her into silence.
They had both known that the eventual parting would have to come and,
although it would only be temporary, it was an agonising thought they had
both avoided. Now the moment they had dreaded had been brought forward
to the immediate present.
'Go to your room, Janey,' he suggested with a calmness she was far from
experiencing. 'I’ll ring through to you as soon as I know my exact plans.'
Later, after explaining the circumstances to Alison, she
sat waiting for his call, dreading the inevitable, yet knowing it had to
come. When the telephone finally rang shrilly on the table between their
beds, she felt faint with anxiety as she lifted the receiver.
'Janey?' Even in this moment of compassion and fear, his voice still had
the power to stir her senses:
'Yes?'
'My father is in hospital after suffering a severe thrombosis, but the
doctors seem to think that there's no cause for alarm at the moment.'
'I'm so glad,' she sighed, expelling the air from her lungs, but her relief
for Rudolph's sake was so great that her eyes filled with tears. 'The news
may be reassuring, but you'll still have to return home to be with your
family.'
'Darling,' he said warmly, 'I'm just discovering that the woman I love has
a compassionate and understanding heart, and I can't tell you how much I
appreciate it at this moment.' He fell silent and, during these brief seconds,
the heavy beat of her heart almost choked her as she waited. 'I love you,
Janey.'
'And I love you,' she cried, using the back of her hand to wipe away the tear
that slid down her cheek. Alison silently pushed a paper handkerchief into
her hand and Janey shot her a grateful glance while she dabbed at her eyes.
'When will you be leaving?'
'I'm taking the first flight in the morning,' A spark of selfish joy lit her
heart, but she was instantly ashamed of herself. 'Janey, will you have
dinner with me somewhere, and afterwards we can find a place where we
can talk privately? Will you?'
'You know I will.'
She heard his brief sigh of relief. 'I'll give you an hour, then I'll meet you
in the foyer.'
She replaced the receiver and sat staring helplessly at Alison—then she
promptly burst into tears.
Take it easy, Janey, you'll wear yourself out this way,' Alison warned
gently, sitting down beside Janey and placing a comforting arm about her.
'
Alison, I'm so frightened!'
'What is there to be afraid of?'
'That's just it... I don't know,' Janey admitted, making an effort to control
her weeping. 'I know I'm being foolish, but right from the beginning
something has warned me that my happiness can't last.'
'Don't be silly!' Alison shook her slightly. 'I've never known you as
irrational as this, and if that's what loving does to one, then I plan to stick to
my harmless flirtations.'
Janey laughed shakily, but the tears caught at her throat and she sobered
instantly. 'It's not loving someone that makes you irrational, but the fear of
losing that love.'
Alison gazed at her intently. ‘Do you doubt that he loves you?'1
'No,' she shook her head. 'But who was it that said: "The best laid schemes
of mice and men ..."?'
'Robert Burns,' Alison announced promptly, lapsing into the entire
quotation: 'The best laid schemes o' mice an' men gang aft agley, and lea'e us
naught but grief and pain for promised joy.' She observed Janey closely. 'Is
that what you're afraid of? That something might happen to dash the plans
you've made for the future?'
'Yes.' Janey caught her lip between her teeth and bit down hard. 'It's all
been too wonderful, too unbelievably beautiful.'
'No one is capable of seeing into the future, Janey. We can only hold on to
what we have today, and trust that the future will treat us gently.'
Such quietly spoken words of wisdom from Alison were something new to
Janey, and she hugged her spontaneously. 'Thank you, Alison. You're the
dearest friend I've ever had.'
Janey was tense throughout dinner that evening, and she sensed that
Rudolph was experiencing the same tension, for neither of them spoke
much while their meal was being served in the small secluded restaurant
they had frequented so often. Their eyes met on several occasions, speaking
a language of their own, conveying thoughts they found difficult to put into
words.
Later, as they drove through the pelting rain, she asked: 'Where are you
taking me?'
'To the flat of a friend of mine who's out of town at the moment.' His hand
clasped hers briefly where they lay in her lap. 'It's the only place I could
think of in this weather where we can have complete privacy to discuss the
things we have to.'
