by Ria
nervousness at being observed made her stiffen in his grasp. 'She knows
about us. She's heard the servants speculating about our marriage.'
There was a gleam of devilment in his eyes as he held her glance. 'Perhaps
we should allay her fears a little with a display of affection.'
The blood rushed painfully to her cheeks as she understood his intentions.
'I—I don't think-----------------'
He grasped her chin firmly in his hand, forcing her face into the open. 'Let
me do the thinking for the moment. I know my mother, and I realise now
what she's waiting for, and hoping to see. We're not going to disappoint her,
are we?'
He did not wait for her to reply, but lowered his head and claimed her lips
in a lingering, soul-shattering kiss that seemed to continue until every nerve
in her body was vibrantly alive to the sheer maleness of him. It was a
deliberate action on his part, she felt sure, to prove to her just how
vulnerable she was, but somehow she did not have the will to free herself
from his arms. Later, much later, she would hate herself for behaving in this
fashion, but, for the moment, she could not prevent her lips from responding
to the demands of his warm mouth.
When he finally released her, she felt dazed and uncertain of herself as
she stared up at him, blinking in the sunlight while she searched beyond
the hint of mockery in his eyes to find nothing there which would allay her
fears.
'If you behave yourself this afternoon while I'm away, I'll take you and
Andrew out to Zoo Lake tomorrow morning,' he promised as if he were
speaking to a child, slipping his hand round to the nape of her neck, and
stealing a further kiss from her unguarded lips. 'See you later.'
He climbed into his white Jaguar and disappeared-down the drive before
she could gather her scattered wits about her.
Angered by his careless remark, she strode back to the house. Mrs Brink
was not at her window, she noticed, and she could not prevent the niggling
doubt that Rudolph had tricked her into allowing him to kiss her.
'Heaven help him if he did,' she murmured aloud, but she had to admit
defeat when she could think of no method to seek revenge.
The promised outing to Zoo Lake the following morning was not a
success. Andrew almost succeeded in spilling Janey's tea in the restaurant,
and was incredibly temperamental when they took him to the children's
playground. As a result she had precious little time to enjoy the park with
its spacious lawns and shady trees, for the only time- Andrew was quiet
was when Rudolph hired a boat and rowed them out on to the calm lake.
He stared fascinated as Rudolph manipulated the oars, the muscles rippling
in his arms with the effort.
'It appears as though the little blighter enjoys watching me work up a
sweat,' he remarked with a touch of humour while pulling hard at the oars.
Janey glanced at Andrew's flushed cheeks and frowned. 'I don't think he's
as well as he should be. He appears to be cutting several teeth
simultaneously, and that usually makes him restless.'
'It's not very good strategy, it seems, to plan things where small children
are involved.'
'I'm sorry, Rudolph,' she apologised tritely. 'Perhaps we should go home.'
'I'm not complaining Janey,' he corrected instantly as he turned the boat
about. 'I'm learning that it is, after all, part of the joys of being a parent. But,
as you say, perhaps we should go home.'
During the drive back to Houghton Rudolph was silent, and Janey became
aware of an uncomfortable tension in the air between them. Did he perhaps
resent the fact that Andrew had spoiled their morning together, or were his
protestations to the contrary sincere? It was difficult to tell with Rudolph, for
his expression remained unfathomable when she glanced at him from time to
time.
Andrew would not settle down to his usual afternoon nap, and he was
decidedly fretful when it was time for his bath. Rudolph walked in
unexpectedly just as she was lifting Andrew out of the water.
'Here, let me help you,' he said brusquely, wrapping the towel about
Andrew's wriggling body and carrying him into the nursery as if he was
quite accustomed to this sort of thing. 'He doesn't look well. Shouldn't I call
a doctor?'
'Don't be silly, he isn't running an unusual fever,' she snapped irritably,
drying Andrew and dressing him as swiftly as possible. 'He may be restless
during the night, but it's nothing to worry about. I've gone through countless
nights such as this during his teething periods.'
There was a familiar tightness about Rudolph's mouth.
'I have a right to worry about the welfare of my child.'
'I suppose you have,' she replied cuttingly, 'but I'm quite capable of
deciding whether the services of a doctor will be necessary or not.'
Their glances clashed momentarily above Andrew's head before Rudolph
turned on his heel and left the room,- closing the door behind him with a
decisive click.
Dora was unable to settle Andrew for the night, and Janey took over
from her after dinner that evening. He slept fitfully in her arms, but the
moment she tried to put him down he would awake and start crying.
It was after ten that evening before he went to sleep for the first time,
giving her the opportunity to have a quick bath before she too went to bed,
but no sooner had she returned to her bedroom than he awoke with a start,
and resumed his fretful crying. She tightened the belt of her gown and
went through to the nursery.
'You really are impossible this evening,' she scolded Andrew with a note
of censure in her voice. 'What am I going to do with you?'
'Mama!' he wailed, his lip curling as he stretched out his arms to her.
This was too much for Janey, for she weakened instantly, scooping him
up into her arms and rocking him gently. She gave him another aspirin,
and settled down in a comfortable chair with Andrew in her arms.
She had no idea how long she sat there, but her head eventually began to
droop, and still he showed no sign of going to sleep as he lay staring up at
her with his fist in his mouth. She was tired and longing for her bed, but
she knew that she would not be able to rest until she was certain that
Andrew would sleep as well. If he continued in this way, she would have
to take him into bed with her, she decided finally. Her head nodded once
more, and then she became aware of someone standing beside her chair.
'Give him to me for a while, and stop trying to exclude me where Andrew
is concerned,' Rudolph said, looking strangely different in his red silk
dressing-gown, with his initials embroidered on the breast pocket. 'There's
no longer any need for you to shoulder the entire responsibility, and it's time
you began to realise this.'
'But I- -'
'Go to bed and get some rest,' he ordered authoritatively, removing the
child from her tired arms. 'I'll take over from here until he's asleep.'
It was no use arguing, she realised when she saw the look of determination
on his stern face, and she nodded wearily as she rose to her
feet and went
through to her room.
Lying in bed with the moonlight filtering through the curtains, all desire to
sleep deserted her, and she lay listening instead to the low, soothing sound of
Rudolph's voice as he spoke to Andrew. The luminous hands of the clock on
the bedside table told her that it was past midnight, and she wondered
curiously why Rudolph had still been awake at this hour. She could hear him
moving about in the room next to hers, and it gave her a sense of comfort to
know that Andrew was in his keeping. Her body felt heavy with fatigue, and
her arms ached with the strain of holding Andrew for so many hours, but the
oblivion of sleep remained elusive.
Miraculously, there was no sound from Andrew after a while, and quite
some time elapsed before Rudolph finally emerged from the nursery, closing
the door softly behind him. Janey raised herself instantly and snapped on the
light.
'Is he- -?'
'He's sleeping, why aren't you?' came the brusque reply.
'I couldn't, somehow,' she confessed guiltily, her heart hammering wildly
as he came towards her, his features etched harshly in the dim light.
The bed sagged beneath his weight as he sat down beside her, and
instinctively she drew the sheets up to beneath her chin. Those deceptively
lazy eyes missed nothing, and they mocked her action ruthlessly until her
cheeks were aflame with embarrassment.
'You've changed, Janey,' he said eventually, the unkind light casting
shadowy lines of weariness from nose to mouth. 'Occasionally I catch a
glimpse of the girl I once knew, but the moment I probe deeper you become
cold and withdrawn. We always seem to argue lately, fencing with each
other over the least little thing. You're so aloof, so far out of reach, that
you're almost like a stranger.'
'Rudolph, I '
'Don't say anything,' he interrupted swiftly, his hands in her hair causing
pleasurable sensations to ripple through her as they caressed her neck, and
finally framed her face. His touch had a hypnotic effect on her, or perhaps it
was the tiredness surging through her limbs that left her defenceless and
vulnerable when she suddenly found herself imprisoned in his arms. She
could detect the faint odour of aftershave lotion, while his warm breath
against her cheek sent familiar tremors shivering through her. 'God, Janey,
you're so beautiful!'
Nothing seemed real at that moment except the touch of his lips and hands,
and the desire that shook her slender frame beneath the sheets. She longed to
surrender, but a part of her warned against it, and she somehow managed to
wrench her lips from his, fighting him off with every ounce of strength she
still possessed.
'Let me go!' she gasped as his arms tightened about her, rendering her
helpless.
'Be quiet!' he groaned, his lips seeking and finding the throbbing pulse
against her throat. 'Don't struggle so, Janey. You're my wife!'
'You forced me to marry you for Andrew's sake. You said he was entitled
to your name, and that's the only reason I agreed to it.'
'The only reason, Janey?' he mocked, his voice hoarse with suppressed
emotions, but she felt sure that he must still feel her trembling against him
with desire, while her lips uttered cruel words to the contrary.
'If you think I married you because I wanted you to make love to me, then
you're mistaken.' She was on the verge of weakening when she saw him
become white about the mouth, but her fear of being used as a plaything
forced her to continue. 'I can't bear you to touch me, so please take your
hands off me. I hate you, and I wish you'd left me alone to continue my life
as I wished.'
Rudolph released her instantly, his eyes like pinpoints of fire licking her
skin until she almost shrivelled with shame beneath his glance. His nostrils
flared with anger, and his lips were drawn back against his strong white
teeth as he spoke with a harshness that cut her to the core.
'If you want to be left alone, Janey, then I shall oblige you with the greatest
of pleasure. Every man has his pride, and every woman her price, but I can
assure you that I shan't spend my days alone, moping over a woman who's
too infantile to know what life is all about.'
The chill of ice flowed through her veins, but she supposed she deserved
the pain of that remark. 'I presume Sybil Rampling features somewhere in
that statement?'
'Perhaps,' he replied distantly, rising to his feet to stand staring down at
her, those heavy eyelids concealing what lay in his grey-green eyes. 'But
don't let an insignificant detail like that trouble you.'
'I hate you for what you did to me, Rudolph Brink!' she lashed out in
anger, wanting to hurt him as much as he was hurting her.
'Don't fool yourself, Janey. You were more than willing for me to make
love to you that last evening we spent together at the coast.' His harsh
laughter shook through her like a physical agony. 'Perhaps you even planned
it that way.'
'That's a lie, and you know it!'
'Do I?' he smiled cynically, plunging the knife deeper into the wound as
he towered over her in the semi- darkness. 'What do I really know of you?
I thought I knew you once, but it seems I was mistaken. The girl I knew
was compassionate, warm and loving, and with a heart so big that it
seemed to embrace the whole world.' He lowered his voice with
unexpected urgency. 'What have you done with her, Janey?'
She clutched nervously at the sheets while her heart hammered violently
against her ribs. 'I don't know what you're talking about.'
'No, I didn't suppose this new Janey you present to the world would
know what I'm talking about,' he remarked distantly, thrusting his hands
into the pockets of his dressing-gown. 'But I would like to issue a word of
warning. Don't wake up to the truth when it's too late, for you won't find
me a very sympathetic listener. Goodnight.'
He closed the door behind him with a certain finality that frightened her,
and for some minutes she stared at it, unable to move, and labouring under
the painful weight which seemed to have lodged in her chest.
In the room next to hers, Andrew slept peacefully for the first time that
day, but all desire to follow his example had completely deserted Janey.
She snapped off the light, but spent the hours staring into the darkness,
wondering whether .she had done the right thing after all in rejecting what
Rudolph had had to offer, and cringing inwardly as she visualised him in
the arms of Sybil Rampling. It would be only natural for him to turn to
Sybil, and Sybil would relish her victory over Janey.
CHAPTER- SEVEN
RUDOLPH made it quite clear, during the next few days, that he had meant it
when he had said he would leave Janey alone. He behaved towards her as if
she were a stranger he was forced to acknowledge, and he did so with a cool
nod of his head when they happened 16 meet. It was a painfully
uncomfortable situation she seemed unable to rectify unless she was
prepared to shelve her pride to make the first move towards some sort o
f
reconciliation, but he dined out most evenings and the opportunity never
arose.
He invited Sybil to dinner one evening and, as Janey entered the living-
room, she heard Sybil murmur huskily: 'Darling, it's been wonderful to have
you to myself these past few days. Quite like old times.’
Janey's heart lurched painfully at the shock of having her suspicions
confirmed, but she gave no outward sign that Sybil's remark had disturbed
her as Rudolph's mocking glance met hers across the length of the room. If
he had leapt into an affair with Sybil, then that was his business entirely, she
decided, ignoring the acute stab of jealousy that made her wince inwardly.
She marvelled afterwards how she had managed to survive that agonising
evening. From Sybil's pointed remarks Janey realised that she was well
aware of the fact that their marriage was not all that it should have been, and
she was taking complete advantage of the situation by ignoring Janey's
existence in her efforts to ensnare Rudolph.
'You deserve his total disregard for your feelings,’ a chilly little voice
accused her as she observed how Rudolph made no effort to ward off Sybil's
display of affection.
Janey felt certain that she would cry out with the pain of it as Esme's
glance met hers across the table, but she was surprised to notice the tight-
lipped dissatisfaction on the young girl's face.
'What does Rudolph think he's doing?' Esme whispered angrily when they
had a moment alone together. 'The way he allows Sybil to paw him is simply
disgusting! Why don't you do something about it?'
'There's nothing I can do about it,' Janey replied, silently amazed at Esme's
attitude.
'Well, if I were you, I would go in there and box her ears, or something
equally drastic,' Esme announced furiously, clenching her hands. 'I've always
admired Sybil very much, but I dislike her almost intensely this evening.
What's more,' she added, taking a deep breath, 'I can see that this whole
business is upsetting Mother. I can feel the anxiety building up within her,
and it could only result in her having to spend a few days in bed with a
relapse.'
As Esm6 had predicted, Mrs Brink was confined to bed the following day,
and this news forced Janey to shed her pride in an effort to rectify the
