Paranormal is Relative

by S.J. Drew

replied, and tottered back to the minister's quarters.

  "Don't worry, I'm not going to steal your grandmother's truck and money," he said with a smile.

  Maryann flushed. "I, um, wasn't thinking that."

  "It's fine, Maryann. I'm not offended." He sobered slightly. "Your grandmother is very old."

  "Well, yeah, but it happens to everyone. She still gets around good though. You watch out if you stay here. She's got a vampire in the backyard!"

  "That doesn't surprise me."

  "It doesn't?" Dave blurted. "Seriously?"

  Derek smiled. "I've been around, and I've seen things. If there's a vampire here, then I'm sure Ms. Parker is perfectly safe."

  Grace returned with her purse and handed him the keys and some money, and gave him directions. He took all three and left.

  "I wonder why he didn't want to join us," Maryann said, frowning.

  "I'm sure it's not you," Leah said.

  "My little church here has opened up some possibilities to him. He's got decisions to make and they won't be easy," Grace answered cryptically. "Well, it's not really my church. It belongs to the parish. Come on, I need some help weeding before it gets much hotter."

  The band helped the old woman in the garden for a little over two hours. They were still drenched in sweat anyway by the time they re-entered the cool of the church. Grace settled down into her recliner. "So you'll need to be headin' out real soon now, right?"

  Maryann looked at the others, who nodded. "I'm sorry, Mee-maw."

  "That's fine."

  About this time Derek returned.

  "Well?" Grace asked.

  "Yes," he answered.

  "Good. That puts my mind at ease."

  "What?" Maryann asked.

  "Sit down, my girl. We need to talk before you head out today. The rest of you take a seat too."

  Derek sat down next to Maryann. The band felt a deep sense of foreboding.

  "I'm very old, Maryann."

  "I know."

  "And I don't have much time left."

  "I know," she answered, her heart sinking.

  "I mean, my girl, I won't be here the next time you visit."

  There was an awkward, painful moment of silence. "Mee-maw, what are you saying?" Maryann asked, on the verge of tears. "Mee-maw?"

  The other three tried to calm their friend down.

  "I am very old, Maryann. Nothin' lasts forever. Everything dies, my dear girl. I'm lucky I knew it was comin'. I could plan."

  "No, Mee-maw, no, please no. You're fine. You look fine, right?" she blubbered.

  The old lady shook her head. "No, I'm not. Got diagnosed with cancer a few months back. Docs told me I could try to go through all the treatment but it probably wouldn't do no good anyway. Maybe I'd get another year or two. I didn't want to go through all that. I just needed someone to find someone to take over watchin' the church. And now, I think I've found someone, right, Mr. La Croix?"

  The band turned to Derek.

  He nodded. "Yes, Ms. Parker, I think I've found a place I can call my home. I'll keep the place up and take care of the folks that come on through."

  "I thought you might decide that way."

  "Mee-maw," Maryann said, her voice breaking. "What-what about Mom?"

  The other three were fighting back tears themselves.

  "Your mother has known about the diagnosis for two months."

  "She didn't tell me! Why didn't she tell me?"

  "Because you've been on the road so much she probably didn't know how to tell you."

  "Please, Mee-maw..."

  Grace leaned over and hugged her granddaughter, who clung to her tightly.

  "Don't go, Mee-maw, please don't go," she sobbed.

  "Maryann, I have to go sooner or later and later isn't much later." She gently broke the hug. "I've put this off as long as I can. My doctors will only be surprised I hung on this long. I'm going to go to the courthouse today and get my will set to leave everything to Derek, introduce him to William tonight, and in a few days, I will probably die."

  "No, no, Mee-maw. You can't die."

  "I'm sorry. I'm at peace with my life. I'm going to meet my Maker and I'll go to a place beyond pain and suffering. You don't worry about me none. I'll be taken care of. You take care of yourself."

  "Mee-maw," she whispered, now openly crying.

  "I think it's time you all headed out," Grace said. "Stayin' here won't change what's goin' to happen. I'm just glad you came down before the end."

  Maryann nodded and stood up but couldn't say anything.

  "Good-bye Isabella, Leah, and Nora. I wish your band the best of luck. I'm glad to have met you and I see you mean a lot to my dear granddaughter."

  "Good-bye, Ms. Parker," Isabella managed to answer as the rest of them stood up. The other two were too choked up and Dave just looked lost. "I think the work you've done here is amazing."

  "Thank you. Good-bye, Maryann." She hugged her again.

  "Good-bye, Mee-maw," Maryann stuttered. "I love you."

  "I love you too. Please know it's best this way. I'm going peacefully and on my own terms."

  Maryann managed to nod again and walked out of the minister's quarters with the rest of the band following worriedly. She walked directly to the van with tears streaming down her face. Isabella unlocked it and Maryann took her seat and started to sob. The others could only watch her helplessly.

  In a few minutes, Derek joined them. "May I have a few minutes with Maryann, privately?" he asked. "I'm good at helping people with matters of life and death."

  They nodded and walked back to the garden behind the church and watched the butterflies lazily float from flower to flower. They could also hear the buzzing of a few bees. Even though it was still steaming hot, the heat didn't bother them. In about forty-five minutes Isabella got a text from Maryann.

  They returned to the van and found her with puffy eyes but no longer crying.

  "Are you going to be alright?" Nora asked.

  She nodded. "Eventually."

  Derek squeezed her hand reassuringly.

  "We need to get on the road now," Isabella said, almost apologetically.

  "I know. Derek, thanks again," she said.

  "It's what I do," he replied with a slight smile. He kissed the back of her hand lightly. "Do visit me anytime you're around."

  "I will."

  The others loaded up into the van.

  "Good-bye," Maryann said.

  "Good-bye, for now, and good luck," Derek replied.

  Isabella turned the ignition and the band was on the road again.

  The Lyrics:

  Come into the light

  Stray from the dark of night

  Don't be afraid

  It'll be alright

  You've got to believe

  In the power of its walls

  You've got to believe

  That it will help with it all

  Refrain: Cathedral of the soul

  Cleanse our blackened hearts

  Take away our evil ways

  And give us a fresh start

  You know the time is now

  Wash the blood off of your hands

  It's easy I'll show you how

  Let's band together and make a stand

  We don't have to stick

  With these evil ways

  We can turn it all around

  In the coming days

  Refrain:

  After all the pain

  There's nothing left to lose

  But a chance at forgiveness

  Now you need to choose

  You can hold on to the hurt

  And stay burdened by sorrow

  Or you can let it go now

  And be free tomorrow

  Refrain x2

  Track 6 - Lovecraftian Horror

  The Interview:

  Kelly: This next track, “Lovecraftian Horror,” is a lot more har
dcore metal than your other tracks.

  Lee: Well, it is about monsters.

  Bryan: So, which one of you is a horror fan?

  Lenore: Maybe none of us; maybe all of us.

  Belle: Maybe the song isn't about literal horror movie monsters but metaphorical monsters.

  Bryan: So you're continuing to not answer questions directly?

  Anna: It's kind of our thing. Sorry.

  Kelly: You're really sorry?

  Lee: Nah, not really. We like being mysterious. And stubborn.

  Bryan: You're getting a reputation for being stubborn.

  Lenore: That's fine.

  Kelly: So you felt a song about monsters needed harder music?

  Belle: Absolutely.

  Bryan: Do you write the lyrics first and work on the music after, or have music first and work on lyrics after?

  Anna: It depends on the song.

  Kelly: And for this one?

  Lee: The lyrics came first, then the music.

  Bryan: So which one of you is the horror fan?

  Lenore: One of us? We could all be horror fans. Or none of us, but maybe one of us read “The Call of Cthulhu” and thought it was a great inspiration for a song.

  Kelly: Well, that's certainly an unconventional source of inspiration.

  Anna: We like unconventional.

  Lee: And what's unconventional to you maybe isn't to us, or some of our fans. It's like our album title. If paranormal is relative, so is unconventional.

  Bryan: That's a good point.

  The Inside Story:

  "Why are we going to New Mexico again?" Nora asked impatiently. She adjusted her fashionable sunglasses.

  "To check on mi abuela's house," Leah answered.

  Isabella, as usual, was at the helm steering the van through the unchanging desert landscape. "We also have a show in Albuquerque. Truth or Consequences is a little out of the way, though."

  "Look, Abuela was nice enough to lend us her RV for the Pandemonium Festival and it got all banged up," Leah answered.

  "Yeah, but that wasn't our fault," Maryann said. "It was all freaky weather."

  "And your boyfriend," Nora added darkly.

  "I thought we agreed not to talk about that."

  "Ladies!" Isabella snapped. "The point is that damage to the RV was not our fault."

  "Well, that's true, but it still got damaged and I feel bad about it," Leah replied. "So when she asked me to check on the house, I figured it was the least I could do."

  "But it wasn't your fault," Maryann said.

  "No one can guilt-trip like a Catholic grandmother."

  The others nodded in agreement. Near sunset, they pulled into the driveway of Leah's grandmother's cozy stucco house. Maryann and Isabella immediately put on hats to protect their fair complexions from the sun.

  "So what, exactly, are we looking for?" Nora asked, smoothing out her purple sun dress as she stepped out of the van.

  Leah pulled her mobile device out of a jeans' pocket and opened up an email. "'Dear Leah, I hope you are enjoying yourself,' blah blah blah personal stuff oh, here we go, 'You know how I get these funny feelings sometimes. Well, I just have this awful feeling someone broke in to the house. I don't want to call the police because they probably won't believe me. Please check and make sure everything is shut and locked. There are enchiladas in the freezer.' So there we go. Just make sure everything is shut and locked and we get dinner and an overnight stay we don't have to pay for."

  "Dinner is always good," Maryann said. Unlike Nora, she didn't bother to straighten out her rumpled yellow dress. "Your grandmother makes excellent enchiladas. What funny feelings?"

  "Abuela sometimes gets these feelings like someone's been hurt or something. I guess she thinks she's kind of psychic," Leah answered, fanning her light green shirt to try to cool off a bit.

  "Is she?" Isabella asked, quite serious. Her white blouse and jeans looked quite crisp despite the hours of driving.

  "You know, I'm not around enough to know. But when the family gets together, she's got stories about how she had a feeling before this bad thing happened to Cousin Jorge, and then Jorge says Abuela was absolutely right. Everyone seems to think it's normal. Maybe they're just humoring her."

  “Well, normal is relative,” Maryann said.

  “And apparently paranormal is relative too,” Leah said with a smile.

  The other three groaned.

  "Well, we'll find out if your grandmother’s hunches are right," Nora said. "Let's get this done."

  "Yeah, I'm getting hungry," Maryann said.

  Leah let them into the house. "Well, the front door was locked."

  The inside was pink stucco just like the outside and it was decorated with framed pictures of children and grandchildren and some religious artwork.

  "Oh, what a cute little house," Maryann said. "Oh, and look at all these pictures!" She picked up a picture of four children, one girl and three boys, standing in front of a fireplace with stockings hanging from the mantle. "Is this you?"

  Leah looked at the photo. "Yep. I think I was five, maybe. That's Miguel Jr.," she said, pointing at the tallest and presumably oldest boy, "And that's Carlos," she said, pointing at the next tallest boy, "And that's Alejañdro," she said, pointing at the shortest and presumably youngest boy. "And yes, he really really hates that song."

  "That frilly little red dress is so not you," Nora said, looking at the picture.

  "Do you know how long it took for my parents to get that?" she sighed, and put the picture back.

  Maryann was frowning as she looked at some of the more recent photos. "Is it just your grandmother now?"

  "Yes. Abuelo died a few years ago."

  "I'm sorry."

  "Thanks. Oh, did you know I was named after mi abuela?"

  "Her name is Leah?"

  "No, no. Her name is Carmen. That's my middle name. Thank goodness my parents didn't name me after my other abuela. I love Abuela Maria, but then I'd be..."

  "'Leah Maria,'" Nora finished. "Yeah, that would be unfortunate. But better than 'Maryann Ginger.'"

  "Hey!" Maryann said. "There's nothing wrong with my names. What's your middle name anyway?"

  "Lyn."

  "Isabella?"

  "Catherine."

  "Oh," Maryann said. "Yeah, those are nice and sensible. I can't argue with that."

  Leah laughed a little. "I should visit Abuela Maria sometime though, but she lives in Mexico City, so we're going to have to hit it big so I can get enough money."

  "That is the dream," Isabella said wryly.

  "Well, next up, the back door," Leah said.

  The back door opened to a tiny yard that was landscaped in sand and desert native plants. It was surrounded by a high fence.

  "This seems pretty secure," Maryann said.

  "I'll check the bedroom," Leah said. Nothing was disturbed so she quickly checked the windows and left. "Right, now only the sewing room."

  "Oh, so your grandmother is the one that taught you how to sew!" Maryann said.

  "Yep."

  "Remind me to thank her for that," Nora said.

  "Wow, that was actually sincere."

  "Hey, I give credit where credit is due. I'm glad you can sew well enough to design our costumes. I feel like all I ever do sew buttons."

  "And I glue stuff," Maryann said.

  "Aw, guys, that's so nice." Leah opened the door to the sewing room.

  The sewing room was actually a second bedroom. There was a large, old machine, a few dressmaker dummies with clothing in various stages of finishing, a few tables covered with cut cloth, and bookshelves holding bolts of fabric. For whatever reason, the room had a fireplace, and the fireplace was not empty. A giant eyeball protruded from the opening. The iris was electric orange and the pupil was slit. The eyeball was set into a mass of thick black tentacles. The eyeball blinked, as though surprised, and instead of eyelids, i
t had a pair of jaws. "Braarrrrawwrrr!!!" growled the monster.

  "Aaaahhhhh!!!" the band screamed in unison.

  Leah slammed the door shut. "I'm getting the emergency kit!" she said, and ran to the van.

  "What the hell is that thing?" Nora demanded.

  "I don't know," Maryann answered. "I don't know! I've never seen anything like that ever!"

  "Isabella?"

  "You got me. That thing's awful."

  "It's a Lovecraftian horror, a color from space, an elder god from beyond the stars," Leah said, overhearing part of the conversation as she returned. "And they're supposed to be immortal." She had a heavy-duty black duffel bag slung over her shoulder.

  "That's great!" Nora snapped.

  "Okay, okay, let's think about this logically," Isabella said. "And calm down. That is a terrifying monster. But why is it in your grandmother's fireplace?"

  "Why does a house in New Mexico even have a fireplace?" Maryann asked.

  "That is not important right now," Isabella replied sternly. "Leah, what do Lovecraftian horrors do?"

  "Consume worlds and all those who live upon them," she answered with a shrug.

  "Okay, so let's go with that. Why is that thing still in the fireplace and not trying to eat us? I mean, this door won't keep it out, right?"

  They all looked at each other for a minute.

  "That's a good point," Leah said. She looked through the keyhole. "It's still there. You know, I'd almost think it was stuck or something. Take a look."

  The others knelt down and took a look as directed.

  "It really does look stuck," Maryann said.

  "So we should go in and take a closer look," Isabella said.

  "No!" Leah snapped. "Never look upon the horror! Never read from the book! It will drive you insane."

  "Leah, we already looked at the thing," she said. "Twice."

  "Okay, yeah, fine, but maybe the madness sets in after repeated exposures."

  "If we don't do something, your grandmother is going to come back and find out something a lot worse than a burglar broke into her house," Nora said.

  "Damn it, you're right. Everyone grab a weapon," she said, holding out the duffel bag.

  "Your emergency kit seems kind of, um, violent," Maryann said.

  "Look, I just started putting it together and I figured that weapons would deter lots of supernatural things and also perfectly natural but still dangerous muggers."

  "That's logical enough," Isabella said.

  Nora took an aluminum bat, Isabella a wooden bat, Maryann a fireplace poker, and Leah a crowbar.

  "Okay, I'll go first," Isabella said. She opened the door.

  "Braaaarrwwwrr!!" roared the creature, reaching out with its mass of tentacles to grab them. However, after a few terrifying seconds, it was almost comically clear that the creature's straining was getting it nowhere.

  "This is great. There's a Lovecraftian horror stuck in mi abuela's fireplace," Leah sighed.

  "Braaaarrrrwwwrr!!" it roared again.

  They ignored the noise and moved into the room to look around.

  "I think I'll have to go without spirit sight," Isabella said. She maneuvered around a tentacle. It stretched out to grab her so she hit it with the bat. It abruptly withdrew.

  "Well, I don't think anyone broke in here and summoned this thing," Maryann said after a few minutes.

  "Was that ever a possibility?" Nora asked, smacking a tentacle with her bat. The tentacle withdrew.

  "You never know," Maryann replied seriously.

  "Brrraaawwwrrr!!" the thing growled again.

  Leah smacked a tentacle with the crowbar as she tried to look for clues. "Hey, I think this thing ate some of Abuela's fabric. She's going to be so mad. What am I going to tell her?"

  "Someone broke in and stole some fabric," Nora said. "Or you can say you took it for costumes and make sure you leave her some money for it. Or maybe she won't even notice."

  "I don't know if any of those will work. Too bad I'm not actually sure what this thing ate."

  After they finished their search they gathered again at the door.

  "Well, this isn't good," Isabella said. "I don't see any signs of forced entry and I have no idea