The Brooke-Rose Omnibus

by Brooke-Rose, Christine

A nod can mean dismissal. Either the vibration of the voice has been insufficient or the dismissal would anyway have occurred. The fact that Mr. Swaminathan has not nodded and will not nod ever should be viewed in this light. On the other hand the fact that Mr. Swaminathan has not nodded and will not nod ever is of no significance.

  The exit door leads into the test cubicles. The test cubicles lead into one another and are for urinating, bleeding, drinking radio-active iodine through a straw, dreaming, conversing with Mrs. Mgulu and having her traced with isotopes, lying at 5 a.m. under a space-man helmet that measures the moment of truth in the blood. The process is known as degradation, out of which the complete molecule must be built up stage by stage, using unambiguous reactions until total synthesis is achieved, which will finally confirm the method of breakdown. The test cubicles lead out into a pale green corridor lined with doors and guiding notices. The doors are white. The guiding notices are white with large red letters. The legs of the waiting females are white, those of the waiting males are trousered in faded denim.

  The microscopes are gathered all around, pointing downwards and converging. The heat from the lights induces a state of pyrexia. Between two of the converging microscopes the monitoring screen hangs from the ceiling and shows a fresh white jellyfish on a pale green background, with yellowish white filaments flowing downwards and long black tentacles flowing upwards out of a purple outer skin that covers only the top of the jellyfish. But now the smooth asphalt face of the interviewer is on the screen patched with curved oblongs and blobs of white reflected light.

  – Don’t keep looking up at the monitor, it spoils the picture. Look at me or else straight at the viewer, that is, the camera in front of you. Don’t look at the other cameras either.

  – I can’t turn my head anyway, with all those wires attached to it.

  – That’s for the toposcope. Now you’re not nervous are you? Just relax. We’re going to diagnose first then proceed to treatment, though not necessarily in one session. It depends how much resistance you put up.

  – Dr. Lukulwe, says the loudspeaker somewhere.

  – Yes, doctor? says the interviewer here.

  – Give me a spot of level will you.

  – One two three four five Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday.

  – Thank you but more natural. Have you briefed the patient?

  – I was just doing so, Doctor Benin.

  – Carry on, I’m listening.

  – Right. Well now, I have to tell you that the lies show up immediately on the oscillograph. No moral judgment is involved so don’t worry about it, the lies are themselves revealing and help diagnosis. One-man truths, that is to say, delusions, will appear on the depth-photography screen, but only in the long run. That’s why we have to give it a long run, but it’s for your own sake. You’re not to worry about a thing, just relax. You ready? Dr. Benin, we’re ready when you are.

  – Fine. Stand by recordings. We shoot in … ten seconds … from … now …

  – Well, sir, since you’ve heard the discussion, could you give us your views on the situation?

  – Er … what situation?

  – Come come. Your situation. Just relax, let the drug talk for you.

  – It isn’t working yet.

  – It will in a second.

  – Well … the situation is highly inflammatory and demands a serious reappraisal.

  – What exactly do you mean by reappraisal?

  – There will have to be an investigation.

  – But don’t you think there have been enough investigations?

  – I don’t accept that. Though it is certainly a viewpoint.

  – What do you accept?

  – I would say that if the situation does not visibly improve we shall have to consider taking action.

  – What sort of action have you in mind?

  – Well of course I would have to consult with my committee. Well of course I would have to consult with my cabinet.

  – And what action do you suppose your cabinet has in mind?

  – Well of course we do not envisage anything as drastic as breaking diplomatic relations with reality, indeed we rather depend on these good relations. We shall do everything in our power to exhaust all possible constitutional means first.

  – And then?

  – Well, then we shall have to consider taking action.

  – I see. What about you sir, do you vote for the Government in power?

  – I am the Government in power.

  – And you, do you vote for or against the Government in power?

  – Last time I was sweet, lick me now, said the salt.

  – What do you have against authority?

  – I never said I was against.

  – So you vote for the Government?

  – I never said that.

  – Do you prefer to satisfy demand or demand satisfaction?

  – I don’t accept that.

  – Do you prefer to satisfy demand or demand satisfaction?

  – What’s the catch?

  – Just answer the question.

  – To satisfy demand.

  – Would you rather support medical treatment of criminals or medical treatment of politicians?

  – Er … politicians.

  – What do you have against criminals, don’t you think they need medical treatment as much as anyone else?

  – It is certainly a viewpoint.

  Inside the jellyfish on the monitor, which is looking heavenwards, another jellyfish can be seen in profile, with the black tentacles flowing up and backwards, then another in quarter profile. The glowing basalt face immediately ahead smiles like a flash-bulb breaking. The black eyes in the pinkish whites gleam with triumph, the triumph perhaps of the fanatic inventor astonished by his own machine, astonished that it works.

  – What about you sir, would you rather support the refugee programme or food for the victims of the population explosion?

  – Er … food.

  – So you like your food?

  – No.

  – Why are you against the refugees? Are you afraid they will increase the unemployment problem? Your own personal unemployment problem?

  – No, of course not. I didn’t mean –

  – Do you like reading books?

  – Oh, no, I don’t read books, I assure you.

  – But don’t you want to improve yourself? Or do you prefer nine-pin bowling with the gang?

  – Oh no, I mean, I suppose, I like some books, it depends.

  – So you don’t like nine-pin bowling with the gang?

  – I … I like, ideally I would like, best I mean, nine-pin bowling on my own, and, secondly, reading books with the gang.

  – Do you like laughing?

  – Of course. I mean, not immoderately.

  – So you often feel excluded from group laughter? Now will you look up at the monitor screen. Do you like it all in red? Or do you prefer it in blue? Pink? Or brown? Violet? Or white? Green? Yellow? Thank you. Do you prefer wood or metal? The sky or the earth? Fire or water? Thank you. Do you love Mrs. Mgulu or Mr. Swaminathan best?

  – I love Mrs. Mgulu best and Mr. Swaminathan a little bit more.

  – That’s a very good answer! Has someone told you the way to answer that question?

  – No. It’s all my own work. My head hurts.

  – It’s the mental enema. Hold it just a little longer, we’re nearly through. Do you put your wife and children above your country?

  – Yes. No, I mean. In an emergency –

  – You have no children, have you?

  – Not … now.

  – And your country is? … Humanity? Come come. What did you say? Afro-Eurasia. Good. Tell me, what are those innumerable little monomanias I see in your head, no, don’t look up at the monitor, they’re like crushed pieces of paper, or flowers, half-started letters and daydreams. You are given to writing little notes?

  – Only in my head.

  – Do you think an o
ral tradition is superior to a written civilization?

  – I, no. I wouldn’t say that.

  – So you believe in acting out?

  – Only in my head.

  – Did you enjoy the displacement?

  – No.

  – Did you enjoy Mrs. Ned?

  – The sequence was a failure. Her deep love is too white, too dirty grey I mean, like the convolutions of the brain.

  – Do you prefer history or progress?

  – There is no such thing as history, save in the privacy of concupiscence.

  – This … is … the privacy of concupiscence. I am your doctor, father, God. I build you up. I know everything about you. Your profile is coming up very clearly indeed on the oscillograph, and the profile provokes its own continuation, did you know that, the profile moulds you as it oscillates? Diagnosis provokes its own cause, did you know that? To put it more succinctly, diagnosis prognosticates aetiology, and certainly your depth-psychology personae are most revealing, if somewhat banal, no, don’t look up at the monitor, you see, it only makes the eyes of the jellyfish look heavenwards, but we know the jellyfish is only looking at itself, don’t we? And the jellyfish cannot meet its own eyes. That’s right, you look into the camera with the little red light on, the eyes on the monitor are no longer looking heavenwards but straight out. Of course you can’t see them looking straight out unless you look up in which case they look up too. You cannot catch yourself. But the meeting is not compulsory. Now then, tell me, because you can tell me, you know, what is your occupation?

  – Odd … job … man.

  – Very nice too. And what was your occupation, before?

  – I was a self-made man.

  – A contradiction in terms.

  – I was chosen among five thousand as the most balanced and normal of men, to be one of twelve representing my country on a special mission in space.

  – What were you really?

  – An analyser.

  – Deeper.

  – A synthesiser.

  – Deeper.

  – An alchemist, lick me now, said the salt.

  – Deeper.

  Yet another profile is added inside the jellyfish, the outer face of which still looks heavenwards. There must be ten profiles in there at least. Or twenty.

  – I don’t know. What’s that flickering light? The sun flickers through the quick plane trees.

  – Don’t worry about that. It’s just to increase the neural electricity you give out which helps the oscillograph. Go on.

  – An electrician. A builder.

  – Deeper.

  – A welder.

  – Come, come, no false shame. Take off those identities.

  – I don’t know. I really don’t know. I see a huge triangle, orange, and a yellow shower, and circles, red … oh.

  – Do you love anyone at all?

  – Second … law of … thermodynamics … subject to, the whole universe …

  – Will you lay down the white man’s burden?

  – He is dying. Absolve him … That are heavy laden. Take it up, take it up for me … Oh, father, doctor, touch me, cure me, oh Mr. Swaminathan, I love you.

  – Mr. Blob. Thank you very much.

  – Oh … Is it over?

  – Yes. Mr. Umbassa, would you remove those contraptions from the patient please.

  – Is that … all?

  – What more d’you want? It was a long run. We have our methods, you know. Besides, there’s a long queue, as you’re well aware, you must have been in it at least two hours.

  – Doctor. Is there a secret?

  – A secret?

  – I mean, what is the answer?

  – The answer? The answer’s in biochemistry of course. Here’s a prescription. Take two once a day every morning before breakfast. They’ll cheer you up and help you to cope.

  – You mean, after all that …?

  – I’ve told you, diagnosis only prognosticates aetiology.

  – I don’t understand.

  – You’re not meant to.

  The sigh is almost imperceptible, the boredom perhaps imagined on the bland and glowing asphalt face.

  – There we are. Goodbye. Next please.

  – Excuse me but, will you want to see me again?

  – What? Oh, no. You’re a bit behind the times aren’t you? Psychoscopy’s an extracted absolute of analysis. We don’t need transference any more. We’re not only able to telescope a dependence that used to take years to build up, we telescope the let-down as well. You’ll see, the wrench will be fairly painless. More so, at any rate, than with Mr. Swaminathan, eh? You’ll have to renew your drugs, though, we haven’t quite solved that one yet, but there’s an automatic dispensary outside, you just feed in your prescription each time. Goodbye.

  Somewhere in the archives there will be evidence that this has occurred, if it is kept, and only for the minds behind the microscopes. And besides, the installing and rigging up of the microscopes, and of the subjects under the microscope, interferes with the absolute result of being tinted. Other episodes, however, cannot be proved in this way.

  MRS. JOAN DKIMBA eats the Beef Strogonoff and rice with appetite and relish.

  – Lilly it’s delicious. I’m so glad to see you’re not starving here. What a pity you’re on a diet, that gruel looks most unappetising. I must tell Denton, he’s very interested in the geography of famine. He has a great big map in his office, you know, and sticks coloured pins into it. You can see everything at a glance. It’s particularly bad in the North, especially in and around the capital, where of course the overcrowding is awful. Everyone flocks to the capital hoping for work, it’s amazing how stupid people are, they’re told to keep away but everyone thinks they’re an exception. I spend hours and days slum visiting and trying to persuade them. It’s true there are more jobs in the capital, naturally, but nothing like enough, and the more everyone thinks so the less there are. Then those terrible shanty-towns grow on the outskirts like cancers, huts built of petrol-cans and old tyres and bits of tarpaulin, the bidonvilles, you’ve seen them I expect, and crime of course is rampant. For every ten people we manage to move out to rural areas two hundred move in. You don’t know how comfortable you are here, with your own separate bungalow, two whole rooms and a kitchen. Oh yes of course you do, having come here from the capital. I wish we could rehabilitate more people, but it really is impossible to keep up with it. Denton tours the whole country, the whole continent even, and the other continents too, trying to get co-operation from distributing organisations, did I tell you he’s been made Chief Spokesman, he was chosen among sixty-seven, you know, to represent his country, but the trouble is everyone’s out for themselves, and so suspicious! Of course there’s corruption, no one denies it, but you’d think they’d be able to tell, I mean they ought to have perfected means of detection by now, and international policing of distribution. In the end one has to tackle everything oneself. And I must say we’ve done wonders in this country, out of sheer will-power and determination. The energy of the people, it’s amazing. I mean just look at this reclaimed area, it simply didn’t exist before. Does your husband work on the land or is he retired? I think the Pension-Pill Scheme is marvellous, don’t you, I mean, no one ever thought of that before, to keep the old people not only fit but happy. Denton had quite a hand in that, you know. It’s the same with the dole-pills. Well I mean that side of things is important, isn’t it. The difficulty is in persuading people to come and get what they’re entitled to. They seem to prefer wallowing in their misery, it’s quite extraordinary.

  – Oh, he’s unemployed? I see. It really is an insoluble problem, isn’t it? And I assure you that it isn’t prejudice, Denton’s gone into it very carefully, the figures show that prejudice is definitely not part of the overall picture, though of course it may occur in individual cases here and there. You see, you can’t get away from the fact that the Colourless are more unreliable, oh, not that they mean to be of course – ex
cept in individual cases, throw-backs, so to speak, who can’t adapt to new environments– but simply because they’re weaker, they go sick more often, and they’re more susceptible to the – well, of course I don’t know why I’m talking in the third person like this, I’m as Colourless as you are, but somehow I’ve been caught up, as it were, in a manner of speaking, but I’m with you all the way, naturally. But I thought you told me he had a job up at Denise Mgulu’s? Temporary, oh I see. It is difficult isn’t it? I should have thought that with the BAUDA there’d be plenty of extra work. Oh, it stands for Ball in Aid of Under Developed Areas. Lilly, you should know that, it’s an annual event. Oh, I see, well maybe she’s right, it does make it sound a bit grim, I suppose. But I always think it’s best to face facts. You know Denise strikes me as awfully out of touch sometimes. All this lady of the manor business. Of course I approve of her food-growing experiments, I think she and Severin have done wonders round here, but you know Severin is always up at that farm of theirs, he’s hardly ever seen in the House of Reps and for heaven’s sake one must be seen. I mean one is elected for something I suppose and what is it if it isn’t representation? And they wouldn’t’ve been able even to start the farm if it hadn’t been for the Government reclaiming schemes. Denton had a big hand in that you know. Still, I always support Severin when Denton runs him down, and I positively persuaded him that this year we must come down and support their ball. So here we are, and of course I just had to look you up. I do think you have a charming kitchen. And this meal was delicious, Lilly, but then you always were a marvellous cook, even at school you always came out top in domestic science, didn’t you. D’you remember when Miss er, what was her name, Miss Mgoa, that’s it, she asked me, how will you find and feed a husband, Joan, if you don’t learn how to cook, and I said I shall have servants, it’s strange, isn’t it, how I knew even then, and she said coldly, I doubt that very much. She did, you know, I remember it as if it were today. Oh yes, I’ve had my share of prejudice, and of course it was much worse in those days as you know, the first reaction being a complex of relief and revenge, and then the fear of the malady, but I believe all these things like health and luck and success are a matter of attitude, they’re a state of mind. They’re not things outside us that come to us. We project them. Now you never did project that, Lilly, and I imagine your husband projects even less. I mean fancy getting a foothold of employment in that big house, just at the time of the big ball as she calls it, and then losing it.