With Me

by Gabbie S. Duran

  Chuckling at her response, he says, “Yes, I see. I’m so glad you are.” Allowing him to help take her down, I go to my passenger side door taking out the gift basket I had brought for Mark’s wife. I knew Joseph was a guest in the house and felt bad that they had to cook dinner for us as well. I decided to bring something for the host.

  The idea of arriving empty handed, at a house where I was invited to dinner, didn’t sit well with me. Since Joseph had mentioned she was pregnant, I knew exactly what to bring. He mentioned during dinner with us the other night how close he was to Mark and Ashley, and I had felt happy for him that he had such a close relationship with both of them. If it wasn’t for them, he wouldn’t have been here and I would’ve probably never had seen him again.

  I watch closely as Joseph walks with Josephina, hand in hand, up to the house. He’s clearly distracted by the non-stop chatter coming from Josephina. I don’t blame him if he’s already feeling overwhelmed. Taking in the sight of both of them melts my heart. I never thought I’d see the sight in front of me, them together. Ever.

  Hesitantly I follow them into the house, immediately spotting Mark, Joseph’s friend, whom I met at the Farmers Market. At his side is a pregnant woman.

  This must be Ashley.

  She comes straight towards me with a smile. “Hi, I’m Ashley, Mark’s wife,” she says, with a beaming smile. “Mark said he’d already met you the other day,” holding out her hand for me to shake. I shake it, still feeling extremely nervous.

  Standing with his face expressionless, Mark gives me a short nod. “Hello, Mark,” I nervously say, before he turns and disappears into the house following behind Joseph.

  “This is for you,” I say, handing her the gift basket. “They’re some of the soaps I make. Joseph had mentioned you’re pregnant, so I’ve included most of my calming scents to help with any stress you might have. Some of them are in salts in case you like to take baths. I apologize if they’re not as well made, but I’m still in the testing phase with those,” I tell her apologetically.

  She looks down at the basket wide-eyed, then back up at me. “That’s so sweet of you. You didn’t have to bring me anything, but thank you for the thought,” she expresses with a genuine smile on her face when she replies. Her smile is all I wanted in return. I love knowing something I’ve made makes someone happy.

  “It’s my pleasure since you’re kind enough to invite Josephina and I to dinner,” I tell her, already searching past Ashley’s shoulder for my daughter. She has somehow managed to disappear with Joseph into the house, worrying me.

  Smiling, Ashley leads us to a living space that is connected to the kitchen where I immediately spot them in front of the TV. Josephina is dancing along to a video game, laughing along with Joseph.

  “Joseph insisted on buying it for her when he knew she was coming over. That way she wouldn’t grow bored,” Ashley tells me as I watch Josephina giggle to some dance move Mark is trying to mimic on the screen. The thought that they bought the game system for the sole purpose that Josephina was coming over, doesn’t sit well with me.

  Storing the thought of speaking with Joseph about it later, I ask Ashley, “Can I help you with dinner?”

  “Oh, I’m pretty much done. I just have to throw the salad together and we should be ready to eat.”

  Eagerly wanting to help, I try once more. “Please, why don’t you take a seat and I can do that,” I insist. “You’ve already done enough tonight by cooking dinner for us,” I inform her, already walking into the kitchen area without asking, going straight to the salad items on the island.

  Her face lights up as she takes her seat in a chair, thanking me for the offer. While she instructs me where everything is located, I begin making the salad. Before long it’s done and we’re all seated at the table ready to eat.

  As we’re about to start eating, Josephina screeches, “Wait, you can’t eat until you say grace!” as she stretches her arms out to catch everyone’s attention.

  My eyes go wide from her rudeness, but everyone else looks shocked with their eyes just as wide as mine. I don’t know if it’s from what she’s said or the fact that they weren’t expecting to say grace. Being that she’s sitting on the other side of Joseph, I can’t pinch her, which is something I would normally have done. However, she’s won her way when everyone puts their forks down and bows their heads, preparing to say grace. Josephina quickly takes over and does the honor, leaving me to sit there mortified by her behavior.

  When she’s done, Joseph leans towards me. “You didn’t make me say grace the night you made me dinner,” I hear Joseph whisper into my ear, making me blush.

  “You were already eating when I was going to begin. So I said it silently in my head. I prayed that you’d live through boot camp,” I tell him, earning me a smile from his lips that makes my insides melt.

  Focusing once again on dinner, we eat. Dinner goes quickly with the normal light conversation, although most of the questions were focused on me. Before long, I realize what they’re trying to do. I didn’t mind too much, but it did feel as if someone’s parents were scrutinizing me. Their questions were never once rude, or made me feel uncomfortable, so I had to be grateful for that.

  It wasn’t until we’re all eating dessert that Ashley starts asking Josephina questions and the conversation grew agonizing.

  “So Josephina, what do you like to do for fun?”

  “I like to read books,” she answers, before eating a spoonful of ice cream.

  It obviously isn’t the answer everyone expected as I see their eyebrows go up in amazement from her answer.

  “Oh really?” Mark says to her, looking skeptical. “What kind of books do you like to read?”

  “I like books with lots of words,” she tells him, before adding, “Did you know babies really like it when you read to them? It makes them move a lot when they hear voices,” she states looking over to Ashley.

  “How would you know that?” Ashley curiously asks her.

  “Mrs. Anderson, the lady at the market, has me read to her stomach sometimes. The baby always moves when it hears my voice. I think it likes me,” she says, before taking another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

  “How old are you?” Mark asks her, clearly confused.

  “I’m four, but I’ll be five in March,” she states, puffing her chest up to him, trying to make herself look bigger than she is.

  “I’ve been teaching her to read since she was three, but she has been reading on her own for the last few months,” I clarify, feeling proud of Josephina. “She goes through books so fast now, the librarians already know to reserve books for her before her next trip in.”

  “Mrs. Anderson says it’s all the organic vegetables mommy was eating when I was baking in her tummy. They made me smarter,” she proudly claims. “Maybe you should eat organic vegetables so your baby will be smart, too,” she suggest with a smile, making us all laugh.

  Ashley turns, narrowing her eyes at Mark. “See, there’s proof of why it’s good to eat organic,” she says to him, waving her hand at Josephina.

  Mark, rolling his eyes at her, turns back to me. “Is there anything else you’d like to tell my wife that she can use against me?” he questions, sounding more like a scorn than a joke.

  With the look he’s giving me, I know he’s upset, “I apologize for my daughter’s remark,” I apologetically say, feeling remorseful for Josephina’s comment.

  From the corner of my eye I see Josephina grow confused. “What did I say wrong?” she asks, making me look at her, smiling to reassure she hasn’t done anything wrong. She goes back to eating her ice cream, content with my answer.

  Ashley looks over at me. “Kasey, don’t listen to him. He’s just being a grouch because he says I make too many demands now that I’m pregnant,” Ashley says, glaring back at Mark demanding he stay silent.

  “I think I would’ve taken full advantage of it as well if I had the chance,” I mumble.

  Joseph reaches f
or my hand under the table, squeezing it gently. “I’m sorry, Kasey,” he quietly says to me, regret clear in his eyes.

  The expression on his face when he said it makes me realize how misguided and rude my comments must have sounded to them.

  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. It was very rude of me,” I guiltily say as I hang my head in shame. I really should think before I speak.

  I’m instantly distracted from my thought when I hear Josephina ask, “Mommy, may I go play the video game again for a little bit before we go home, please?” Her sweet little voice breaks the awkward silence drifting through the room.

  “Yes, you may,” I reply.

  She gets up from the table, excited, and heads to the living room area to continue playing the video game. As much as I want to leave already, to avoid any further embarrassment, I don’t want to deny her request.

  Mark quickly gets up to follow close behind her, with Ashley starting to remove the remaining dishes from the table, leaving Joseph and I alone. I can already feel the awkwardness between us as he continues to hold my hand with his. He’s staring directly at me now, with the same smile from earlier. The one that makes me ignite with excitement all over when he looks at me that way. Just as I’m about to say something, I hear singing coming from his back pocket, clearly obvious his cell phone is ringing.

  He gently lets go of my hand, reaching for his phone with a scowl forming on his face. “Sorry, I have to take this. Will you excuse me, please?” he says, already standing up from the table as he walks away without waiting for my response.

  My eyes follow him as he makes his way to the backyard through a set of double French doors. I get up to head into the living area to join everyone else, wanting some sort of company while he’s gone.

  Twenty minutes later I notice Josephina starting to rub her eyes as she continues to play. I know it’s a sign she is growing tired. I glance back in the direction of the doors that Joseph disappeared through and I can only see his silhouette by the door, pacing back and forth.

  I know it’s best to start heading home before it gets any later. “Josephina, I think it’s time we get going, sweetheart. It’s past your bedtime,” I inform her, earning me a small whine in return. Her protest at first is expected, but when Ashley tells her that she can come back, anytime she wants, it helps convince her to leave.

  Standing up to take Josephina’s hand, I thank Mark and Ashley for dinner and start walking to the front door. I can’t resist taking one quick glance back in the direction of the backyard for Joseph. Mark notices, immediately saying, “I’ll go get him,” before quickly walking to the backdoors without hesitation.

  Josephina and I wait by the front doors and within minutes, a distressed looking Joseph emerges with Mark from the backyard. He walks over to us with a forced smile on his face.

  “I’m sorry about that. I had to take that phone call. I didn’t think it would be that long,” he apologizes.

  Ashley simply groans, but Mark’s lips go flat as if he’s not happy with Joseph’s apology. “I’m sorry we have to leave, but it’s past Josephina’s bedtime and I’d really like to get her home to bed.”

  He doesn’t hide his disappointment, but doesn’t argue as he walks us to the car. Quickly buckling Josephina in, she immediately starts to close her eyes; her exhaustion taking over as her head tilts to the side and falls asleep.

  “She must be really tired,” I hear Joseph say behind me, startling me.

  Turning to face him, I nod my head in agreement, realizing he’s standing extremely close to me, merely inches from my body. His head is slightly tilted to the side and I watch his eyes grow hooded, as he looks back at me.

  My body instantly freezes up, my breathing becoming unsteady, as I grow nervous from having him so close. I can smell him, and although he’s not wearing cologne, he has a unique scent that I can’t identify, but it smells good as I breathe him in.

  My body starts to hum with excitement. The mere thought of knowing I’m so close to him makes me remember how good it felt to be wrapped in his arms. A feeling I’ve been craving for years.

  I remember his earlier statement and I nod my head as I swallow the lump in my throat. “Yeah, she’s usually asleep by now, but I didn’t want to be rude by leaving earlier,” I tell him.

  “So how long are you in town for?” I curiously ask him.

  I’m still nervously standing rooted to the spot by his deep voice. “I’m scheduled to leave on Thursday,” he replies, now looking nervous as he rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “I’d like to see more of Josephina while I’m here. If that’s okay with you?” he nervously asks, sounding hesitant at the request. His face grows worried as he waits for my answer.

  “Of course you can see her, Joseph. I would never keep you from spending time with her,” I immediately respond.

  He lets out a breath as he briefly tips his head up to the sky, as if he was holding it in, relief clear on his face when he looks at me again. “Thank you, Kasey. It really means a lot to me,” he quickly replies.

  We both stand there silent, as we continue to stare at each other. His eyes narrow down into a slit as he focuses on me, making me light up inside. I see him slowly begin to lower his head and the anticipation of knowing he’s about to kiss me excites me. I can feel my heart racing. My body braces itself as I prepare for his kiss. As I slowly start to close my eyes, remembering what it felt like to be kissed by Joseph, it rouses my desire, but I’m left disappointed when I hear the ringtone from earlier in the night.

  Joseph quickly draws his body back, taking a full step away from me as he lets out a curse. “I’ve got to go. I’ll give you a call tomorrow to set up a time to see Josephina,” he clips out, turning his body to walk back up to the driveway without a backwards glance at me. I watch him disappear back into the house, the rejection piercing me inside.

  I’m left there in shock, leaning my body up against the side of my SUV for support, wondering to myself if he regretted trying to kiss me. From the look on his face and the explicit curse he let out, I’m pretty sure he did. Sighing to myself, I climb into my car, knowing the best thing to do now is drive away.

  WHAT THE HELL just happened? I don’t know, but I’m confused as fuck. If Elizabeth hadn’t decided to call, I’m pretty sure I would have had Kasey in my arms, kissing her. Still kissing her because I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to stop once I started. I wouldn’t want to either.

  I don’t know what came over me, but seeing her sweet innocent face like I remembered her, made me loose all coherent thought. My only focus was her, as always when she’s around. She didn’t have to do anything to make me feel this way. It was the same when we were young and apparently she still had the power to do it.

  Remembering I was engaged had left my mind while I was looking down at her. Shit, I couldn’t even remember my own name. She had me hypnotized. All I could remember was how good her lips felt against mine. It was something I’ll never forget. Ever. I also couldn’t stop remembering how I had held her in my arms wishing I didn’t have to leave. That alone was repeating itself in my mind. A non-stop loop since the day she came back into my life.

  Running my hand over my head and down my face to help clear my mind, I walk into the house, immediately seeing Mark next to the window. He’s looking at me with his eyebrows raised, analyzing me. I’m familiar with the view from the window. He probably saw everything, being that Kasey had parked across the street. Our bodies were facing the house, giving Mark a clear view.

  He’s casually standing there with his hands in his pockets, a smirk on his face as he declares, “So, I take it you have a dilemma on your hands now?”

  Scowling when I look at him, I ask, “What dilemma would that be?”

  He steps away from the window, as he walks back into the kitchen area without a response, leaving me to follow. I know he’s right. I do have a dilemma on my hands. My mind has a habit of wandering back to the memories I have with Kasey. E
ven knowing I was soon going to be marrying someone else, I can’t stop thinking of her and Josephina now. I am determined to be a part of their future, but I needed to figure out a way to get Kasey from my mind before I get myself into trouble.

  When I enter the kitchen area, I see Ashley loading the last of the dishes into the dishwasher and closing it up. Mark goes to open up the fridge and retrieves two beers, handing one to me. I take it without hesitation, opening it to take a sip, hoping the cold liquid with help calm my heated blood that I was left with from just moments ago.

  Leaning my body against the kitchen counter, I already see Mark ready to state his case. “From what I saw a minute ago, I’m pretty sure you still have feelings for her. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out by the way you were looking at her either,” he says, before taking a sip of his beer, his eyes challenging me to differ.

  I stay silent, unable to deny his words.

  His eyebrows go up in confirmation when I don’t say anything. “Just how serious was it before you left? I know from the stories you told me there was nothing much going on, but when you came back after boot camp you looked like shit. Did she have you wrapped around her little finger even back then?” he jokily asks, his cocky smile mocking me.

  Groaning, I ignore his remark and walk over to the living area, taking a seat on the couch. Mark and I are close, but the last thing I want to do is lay my feelings that I had for Kasey out on the table for him to mock me about. She's my past; Elizabeth is my future now, and it is something I am going to have to learn to live with.

  Ashley and Mark follow me, taking a seat on the other couch, and by Ashley’s impatient expression, she wants an answer as well. Looking over to Mark I respond, “Not as wrapped as Ashley has you,” I tell him with the same cockiness he’d given me. “Actually, now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure she has you by the balls, too,” I add, before taking another swig of my beer.