Cursing under my breath I answer the phone, already dreading the conversation. “Hello.”
“Joseph, are you almost here?”
Silently I curse to myself. I had completely forgotten I was supposed to be on my way to Vegas right now. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth. I’ve had a change of plans. I’m actually going to be heading back to Madison,” I inform her, bracing myself for the scolding I know she’ll be giving me for not showing up this weekend.
“As in Madison, Wisconsin?” she screeches into the phone, making me pull it away from my ear. “Why are you going back to Wisconsin? Didn’t you just come back from there?” she continues to yell into the phone.
“Yes, Elizabeth,” I growl, as her voice makes the pounding headache from earlier return.
“Then?”
“Then what?” I ask.
“Why are you going back?” the seething anger evident in her question.
Closing my eyes, I grab onto the bridge of my nose hoping the darkness behind my eyelids will help calm my headache, but it isn’t working. “Something happened and I have to go back. I’ll call you when I can,” I calmly state, not feeling I need to further explain myself, but Elizabeth still insist for more information.
“Are you going back because of the little girl?” she demands to know.
“She’s my daughter, Elizabeth. And yes, I’m going back because of her,” I state, not lying at that particular detail.
She mutters something on the other end, but I can’t quite make out what it was, and at this point I really don’t care anyway. “Well, I guess while you’re there you’ll be able to get the test we talked about done.”
Now I’m mumbling a curse. Remembering our conversation when I told her about Josephina only makes my anger return. Elizabeth demanded I have a paternity test done. She’d easily claimed maybe Kasey was lying about me being Josephina’s father. Elizabeth didn’t like the idea that Kasey never tried contacting me to tell me I had a daughter. I tried explaining the situation between Kasey and I, but she kept insisting on the test, regardless of how much I refused to agree to it.
“Elizabeth, I’m not discussing this again,” I growl into the phone.
“Well, whether you want to discuss it or not, you have to face reality that this little girl might not be your daughter. The only way to find out for sure is to have the test done. I just don’t understand why you refuse to have it done. My parents have offered to pay for it,” she adds, as if it’s going to get me to agree.
Groaning, I hear the announcement to board my plane, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. “Look Elizabeth, I have to go, they’re announcing my boarding call. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I say before I give her a quick goodbye, then pressing the end button on the screen and turning off the phone as I board the plane. My head is now pounding harder than it was when I arrived at the airport and I’m already looking forward to getting some sleep.
Eight and a half hours later, with one layover in Salt Lake City, I’m finally arriving in Madison. As promised, Mark is waiting for me when I exit the airport and without hesitation he drives us straight to the hospital. When we arrive I don’t wait for him to park the car, insisting he drop me off at the front doors. With him having already told me where Kasey was at, I start running straight there, taking the stairs because I’m too impatient to wait for the elevator.
As I get closer to the ICU department I see the waiting area and immediately spot Ashley with Josephina sitting in a set of chairs. The minute my little girl sees me she comes running towards me, catapulting herself into my arms. I scoop her up, holding her tightly in my arms, feeling like I’m whole again. It’s only been a few weeks since I’ve held her, but it’s feels like forever since then.
“Hey, princess. I’ve missed you so much,” I whisper into her hair, my nose inhaling her sweet childlike scent at the same time.
I feel her squeeze her little arms tighter around my neck, as if she doesn’t want to let me go. I can hear her sniffling and I can already feel the wetness of her tears running down my neck.
“They won’t let me see her, daddy. I just want to see my mommy,” she whimpers.
It’s tearing me apart hearing her heartbroken voice; knowing how badly she must hate not being able to see Kasey. “I’m sorry, princess. As soon as your mommy is feeling better, I promise you’ll be able to see her,” I tell her, as I rub her back trying to comfort her.
I feel a hand on my shoulder drawing my attention. I turn to see a teary eyed Ashley staring back at me. “They’ve got Kasey in a room now. Did you want to see her?”
I calmly nod my head, but I already know I have to let Josephina go in order to do so. Pulling her back so I can see her face to speak to her, needing to make sure she understands as I say, “Princess, I’m going to go see your mommy now. Is that okay? I’ll make sure to tell her that you’re here.”
I wait until she nods her head. I give her a kiss on her temple before I hand her to Mark, who is now standing next to Ashley. They inform me which room number Kasey’s in and I hesitantly make my way there, dreading what I’m going to see. When I enter the room, my breath hitches and my heart skips a beat as I take in the sight of her.
Kasey’s hooked up to machines that are quietly displaying her vital signs. She has a tube coming out of her mouth, which must be helping her breath. She’s lying there, motionless, with her eyes closed and her body stiff. If you were to get past the sight of all the wires and machines that are surrounding her, you would think she’s peacefully sleeping.
I force my feet to move, slowly taking one step after another, to reach her. Pulling the chair next to the bed, I take a seat as I take Kasey’s hand into mine, needing to hold some part of her. Bringing her hand up to my mouth to place a kiss on the back of it, I pray that she’ll wake up soon. She looks so fragile lying there and the sight of her like this is scaring me. What if she never wakes up? I can’t bear the thought of losing her.
The silence of the room is broken when I hear someone walk in, making me turn towards the doorway to see a doctor walking in. “Are you her husband?”
I simply nod, unable to speak.
He goes straight into explaining what happened during the surgery, informing me of the details. Although they were able to find the tear and repair it, it is too soon to know whether there would be any more complications from the surgery. Only time would tell, he informed me. I absorb the words as I continue holding Kasey’s hand, needing to know that regardless of what he said, I know she’s still here.
He soon excuses himself, leaving me alone with Kasey in a silent room with my thoughts. I sit at her side hoping she’ll wake up; needing her to wake up soon, for all of us.
An hour later Mark enters the room looking like he hasn’t gotten much sleep either. He looks tired and exhausted, with darkened rims around his eyes. “Since they won’t let Josephina back here to see Kasey, Ashley and I are going to take her home. She’s restless from having to be in the waiting room. Do you need anything before we leave?”
“I’m fine,” I tell him, but just as he’s about to turn away to leave, I quickly add, “Mark, thanks for being here last night. It really means a lot to me that you stayed with her.”
His somber expression stares back at me. “Don’t worry about it, man. I know you would’ve done the same for Ashley had the tables been turned.”
I could only nod my head in confirmation, agreeing with his words as he walks out.
Looking back at Kasey, I watch her chest slowly rise and fall as she takes her shallow breaths with the help of the ventilator. For the last eight hours, all I’ve had is time to think about Kasey and Josephina. I don’t know what the hell was going to happen from this day forward, but I’d already made one decision. I wasn’t returning back to San Diego without the both of them. I couldn’t.
“YOU BOTH REALLY need to stop fussing over me, it’s not like I’m dying,” I mumble, as Joseph tries to fluff my pillows. When done, he stands tall, looking
down at me, waiting for me to request something of him.
On the other side of me, Josephina stands as well, the same look on her face. The difference is she’s been verbally asking me if I needed anything. As much as I love how they’re both putting forth the effort to nurse me back to health, it’s making me feel guilty and useless. It’s been like this for the last hour since we got home from the hospital and I’m beginning to realize it might just get worse.
It’s been a week since I woke up from my accident. According to Joseph, I hadn’t awoken immediately after surgery, but two days later. I’d felt every single ache that was a result of the accident the day I woke up. I still did a little, but it was tolerable, and I wasn’t going to complain. I was alive and in good health compared to most.
At first when I had awoken, I’d forgotten what had happened. I was confused and it had taken me a couple of seconds to remember where I was as I took in my surroundings, realizing I was in a hospital.
What surprised me the most was seeing Joseph at my side. The sight of him confused me. I thought I was in a dream when I’d first seen him next to me. It was the main reason why I felt so disoriented. I kept wondering how long I was asleep and how long I had been there. I would have never expected him to be there at my side.
He was sleeping with his body hunched over mine, completely lost in his slumber. The position he was in looked very uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to wake him, wanting to watch him for as long as I could. Quietly admiring him next to me, he had my hand tightly wrapped in his as his head rested at my side. He looked so peaceful lying there.
It was when the nurse entered to take my vitals that he had awoken. He had rapidly awoken at the slightest sound, as if he was trained for it.
When he looked up at me with sleep-laced eyes, the smile that spread across his face was all I needed to make me feel better. The pain instantly disappearing as his excitement of seeing me awake lightened up the room. From the state of his wrinkled clothes and five o’clock shadow on his face, I could tell he had been there for a while. His body looked worn and exhaustion clear on his face. Even after waking up, his stubble was something I hadn’t seen on Joseph before, which made me feel guilty wondering how long I’d been asleep. I was completely shocked when I had later learned from the nurses that he had refused to leave my side, resulting in the state he had been in.
“Are you sure you don’t need anything? Anything to make you feel more comfortable?” Josephina’s enthusiastic voice brings me back to the present.
Seeing her desperate little face patiently waiting for me to request something, I smile at her eagerness to please. “If you don’t mind, I’d like a glass of water.”
Although I’m not truly thirsty, I already know how persistent Josephina can be until she feels she has accomplished her task. She briskly returns handing me the glass of water, already asking if I need anything else. “No, sweetheart. You’re doing a really great job of taking care of me already. I haven’t needed anything else since a minute ago when you asked,” I tell her, earning me a triumphant smile.
Joseph laughs at my side, and when I look up at him, he’s shaking his head with a smile. “Princess, why don’t we give your mommy some time to rest?” he proposes, scooping her up into his arms.
Taking in the sight of them both, I can’t help but notice how small Josephina looks in his arms, but the way he holds her, it takes my breath away. He does it as if she’s the most precious artifact in the world, as he holds her with care. He also looks at her with such adoration. It is clear in his eyes and actions just how deeply he’s grown to care for her in the short amount of time he’s known her.
“Why don’t you go with me to the pharmacy so we can pick up mommy’s medicine?” he suggest looking back down at me to give me a wink. The thought that he’s trying to keep Josephina entertained for my sanity is sweet. I watch as her eyes light up as he walks away with her to leave the building.
Taking advantage of them being gone, I take a quick shower, loving how good it feels to finally be home instead of still being at the hospital. With some difficulty, I manage to dress myself and brush out my hair, soon making my way back to the bed to lie back down. I’d told Joseph I wouldn’t get up, but I had desperately wanted to take a shower. The sterilized scent of the hospital was still strong on my clothing and body, even after we left, and I wanted it off of me. Climbing back into bed, I am now trying to look like I had never moved, hoping they don’t take notice in my change of clothing, since I’m wearing the same color tank top. With only a couple of minutes to spare, I hear them walking into the building and I immediately notice they’ve brought back more than just my medicine.
Josephina quickly runs in my direction, handing me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. “You didn’t have to buy me anymore flowers,” I utter to both of them as I take in the floral scent of the roses in my hands. Joseph merely shrugs his shoulders as he casually stands at the end of my bed, his hands in the pockets of his jeans, looking shy as a schoolboy, as he looks back at me.
Although he is no longer the schoolboy I grew up with, but now a very muscular man, he still looks at me with the same eyes I grew up crushing on. His body was the opposite of the scrawny boy I grew up with, now more defined. No matter how much I take him in, I’m still left amazed at how much he’s changed. I liked this Joseph so much more.
“Josephina wanted to buy you some more. Who am I to deny her request?” he shyly conveys.
“Her father,” I sternly remind him. “Which means you need to learn to tell her no every now and then, or else she’s going to learn that she can easily control you. You’ll come to regret it if she ever realizes it.”
“We’ll worry about that later. Right now I just want to take care of my girls,” he states, his eyes narrowly locked onto mine as his lips go up to one side into a smile.
His words shock me, leaving me confused as to the meaning behind them, as I slowly repeat them in my mind. My mind wants clarification, but my heart doesn’t have the nerve to question him. It’s obvious from the look he’s giving me he knew exactly what he’d said, but I doubt he meant them. He couldn’t have.
Left sitting there confused, I bring the flowers up to my nose to take in another smell, allowing it to calm my disoriented thoughts. I can’t complain about the flowers. I do like them.
Wanting to put them in some water, I swing my legs off the bed and attempt to stand up, but I’m startled when I hear Joseph shout to me. “What do you think you’re doing? Lie back down,” he scolds, as he rushes to my bedside to gently shove me to lie back down.
He’s been treating me like a child since the day I awoke. It was beginning to get annoying. “I’m not an invalid, Joseph. I’m getting up. I want to put the flowers in some water,” I snap at him, still trying to push myself up, easily failing.
“I could do that for you,” he says, taking the flowers from me.
“I hate that you’re treating me like I’m not capable of doing anything at all. I can walk perfectly fine. They wouldn’t have let me come home if I wasn’t allowed to,” I clip out, still resenting his irrational behavior.
He doesn’t argue, but his face looks guilt ridden as he stares down at me. Even with protest, he won’t truthfully tell me why he insists on acting this way with me when I asked. His lack of response only made me want to recover faster. The sooner I was back to taking care of myself, the sooner Joseph can get back to his own life, because truthfully, the longer Joseph stayed at my side, the more I was growing attached to the idea of him always being there. I had to keep reminding myself if wouldn’t be forever.
With determination, I returned to walking not too long after waking up. Joseph wasn’t happy with the idea at first, but regardless was at my side the entire time I wobbled around. It may be slower than normal, but I was still walking. Plus, I really couldn’t afford to take it easy anymore. Not for the sake of my business. I was already too far behind.
In the corner of my eye, I suddenly see Josephi
na take the flowers from Joseph. “I’ll put them in some water,” she says, already heading in the direction of the kitchen.
My eyes find Joseph’s. He’s staring at me with a frown on his face, his eyes looking woeful, making me feel guilty. It’s the same face Josephina gives me after I’ve scolded her. It was merely days ago when Joseph gave me the same look, that I discovered where she got it from, and the thought only made me smile, pushing the resentment I felt at the time away. Between the two of them, I already know I won’t be able to continue to stand my ground if they keep giving me those looks.
“I appreciate everything you’re doing for me, Joseph, I really do, but I’ve never had anybody fussing over me,” I say, still attempting to push my body up and out of the bed. I finally manage to stand up.
Placing his hand on my elbow to help steady me, he leans down to bring his mouth next to my ear. “Well, maybe it’s time somebody started doing it,” he calmly says in his husky tone, sending shivers down my body and leaving me frozen in place as each word caresses my skin. His warm breath is still running down my neck as it continues to send the bolt of electricity straight down my spine, all the way to my toes.
His words have taken my breath away leaving me immobile, unable to speak, taking all coherent thoughts from my mind. Instead of breath, it’s replaced with thoughts of what my body is craving. Something only Joseph awakens inside of me. Closing my eyes, I imagine all the possibilities.
“Kasey,” I hear Joseph saying my name, making me open my eyes to look at him. His eyes have a hint of laughter while his mouth curves up to one side.
“What are you thinking about, Kasey?” His husky voice mocks me as our eyes lock onto each other.
“Nothing,” I flatly respond, because the last thing I’m going to admit is how I was daydreaming about the both of us together, especially to him. Composing myself, I glare at him. “Look, whether you like it or not, I’m going to walk around a little. I’ve been lying in a bed for the last week and I swear my legs are feeling stiff already.”
With Me Page 11
