Broken Hearts

by Rebecca Jenshak

  The guys are set to make a grand entrance so Reagan, Dakota and I grab a drink from the bar and stand as far away from the cheering and dancing section as we can.

  Servers in white tux jackets bring out hors d’oeuvres on shiny platters. Old guys stand in groups laughing and talking loudly.

  “This is…” I start, not easily coming up with the word.

  “Excessive,” Dakota says. “I feel like I made a wrong turn into a fortieth reunion class.”

  “You guys.” Reagan stands taller in her red heels. She and Dakota nearly match with their red shoes and black dresses, but their styles are so different, no one would ever notice. “They won a national championship. They deserve excessive.”

  “What they wanted was a kegger with drunk girls in skimpy outfits, not shrimp cocktail with old dudes.” Dakota downs her champagne.

  “We should do that for them, then,” I say quickly but the more I think about it the more I like the idea. A do-over for Rhett to celebrate with his friends. I know it won’t change what happened, but maybe he’ll at least feel like he got one last hurrah in with his teammates.

  “There they are,” Reagan says.

  The three of us watch, along with everyone else, as they walk in. Music plays and the cheerleaders and dancers move into action making a path for them to a podium with a microphone.

  “That’s Maverick’s dad,” Dakota whispers when a man steps up and welcomes everyone. “Or, I guess he’s Maverick Senior. Mr. Maverick. Weird.”

  We chuckle together.

  “How do you know?” I ask. “Have you met him?”

  “Are you kidding? Just look at him.”

  The man introduces Coach Meyers and then Dakota’s assumption is confirmed when Coach comes forward and thanks John Maverick for hosting the party tonight.

  As he goes on thanking everyone, Ginny steps up beside us. “I thought they’d at least be in their jerseys.”

  “You made it.” Reagan hugs her.

  “I was on confetti duty.”

  “Confetti?”

  “You’ll see,” she says as the first pop sounds. Each of the cheerleaders has a confetti cannon in their hands and they go off each time a player is introduced.

  “Look at Maverick. Holy crap,” Ginny says as his name is called. They’re all dressed similarly in dress pants and shirts, but Maverick is striking in a white button-up with rolled sleeves showing off some of his tattoos. His dark hair is styled, and he has a hard set to his jaw. Sophisticated and pissed is a good look for him, even if it makes me sad to see a unsmiling Maverick. His dad squeezes his shoulder with a proud look on his face.

  “He does not want to be here,” Reagan says.

  “Who could blame him,” Dakota says. “The first time his parents come to Valley and they’ve made a spectacle.”

  “Wow.” That’s all I get out before Rhett waves and comes into view. Unlike Maverick, he didn’t bother styling his hair, but it doesn’t matter. He’s still the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. He runs a hand through that messy hair and all I can think about is how I can’t wait to spend the evening with him. It isn’t exactly the celebration we would have had after the Frozen Four, but he’s here and I’m here and that’s celebration enough.

  After several more speeches, the guys are released. They mingle into the crowd and by the time we get to them, Rhett already has two beers in hand, one stacked on top of another.

  “Hey,” I say cheerily as I step to his side.

  “Hey.” He wraps an arm around my waist, chugs the top beer and then tosses it and pops the tab on the second.

  “I’m surprised they have beer here,” I say.

  “They don’t,” Heath says. “We had to bring our own cheap booze.”

  Maverick takes out a bottle of Mad Dog, takes a long swallow and passes it to Rhett who does the same.

  He offers it to me.

  “No thanks. Kind of early for shots.”

  He shrugs and passes it back to Mav.

  Our little group is interrupted by alumni and important people from the university approaching the guys to personally congratulate them. Rhett never lets go of me as he thanks each and every one of them, but his grip on me tightens to the point I feel like I’m the anchor keeping him from floating away.

  “How long do you have to stay?” I ask quietly.

  “Coach said three hours, but I doubt anyone is going to miss me. Do you need to get back?”

  I don’t. Not really. I have everything ready for tomorrow and it isn’t like I’d be sleeping even if I were at home, but something tells me he needs to leave. I can feel it. The pain and frustration radiates off him.

  “We can stay if you want.”

  “Nah, you’ve gotta skate tomorrow. What’s Coach going to do? Kick me off the team?”

  We say hushed goodbyes to our friends and then sneak out and walk back to his apartment. Rhett grabs another beer from the fridge and sits on the couch. He doesn’t speak, but at least we aren’t confined to his room for a change.

  I get a text from my sister saying they made it to the hotel. “My family is in town. They’ll be at the arena tomorrow if you’re up for meeting them.”

  “Yeah, of course. I’m looking forward to it.”

  “Good, because my sister is so excited. She knows all your stats and she’s totally going to fangirl.”

  He laughs like I’m kidding, but she totally will.

  “I thought tomorrow night we could take her out somewhere or have a small party here?”

  “Saturday night… it won’t be hard to find people drinking and hanging out somewhere.”

  Rhett turns on the TV and I text my sister, making plans to meet up with them in the morning.

  The rest of Rhett’s roommates and their girlfriends aren’t far behind us. First Ginny and Heath appear, followed by Adam, Kota, and Reagan.

  “Where’s Maverick?” I ask, looking at Dakota.

  “He went to let Charli out. I’m sure he’ll be up soon.” Adam sits between me and Rhett on the couch and my boyfriend passes him a controller. “Hey, buddy. Doing okay? You haven’t said much since we got back from Minnesota.”

  “Not a lot to say, I guess.”

  “Was your mom pissed we left early?”

  My ears perk up. “What do you mean you left early?”

  There’s a flash of guilt on Rhett’s face before he shrugs. “We missed the funeral so we could catch the early flight back to Valley.”

  My mouth gapes.

  “She chastised me a little,” Rhett admits. “I don’t see what the big deal is. I paid my respects to Carrie’s family at the visitation. Staying wasn’t going to bring her back to life.”

  A heavy silence falls over the apartment.

  “As long as you got the closure you need.” Adam is the first to speak.

  Rhett scoffs and lifts the controller in his hand. “Sure, man. Whatever. Are we going to play or what?”

  I’m on edge after that trying to process this information. He didn’t go to the funeral?

  Mav enters, still wearing his dress clothes, but the shirt is unbuttoned and untucked. He’s got a box under one arm and carries a bottle of Mad Dog in the other hand.

  “Did anyone make it the full three hours?” Rhett asks.

  “We told the freshmen if they left before midnight, we’d fill their dorms with that fucking confetti.” Mav grins. He sets the box on the kitchen counter and opens the bottle of Mad Dog. The second, or maybe third of the night. “Rauthruss, that box is for you. Delivery guy fucked up and left it outside my place by mistake.”

  Rhett glances up to the box. “For me? Who’s it from?”

  “Someone in Minnie-soda.” He picks it up with one hand and tosses it across the room.

  Rhett stands to catch it. He stares down at the label and his face pales.

  “What’s wrong?” Adam asks, picking up on the change in him.

  “It’s from Carrie’s family.” He sits and sets it on the coffee table, glaring
hard at the small box.

  “Are you going to open it?” Heath asks.

  “It’s probably just pictures or something. I’ll open it later.”

  “We’re all here and the booze is freshly stocked. Might as well open it now and get it over with.” Mav sits on the arm of the chair across from him.

  We’re all staring at him, so he proceeds. He rips off the tape and opens the flaps. His throat works before he reaches in.

  My pulse thrums quickly as he sets the contents on the coffee table.

  “My first college goal.” He holds up a hockey puck.

  “No way, let me see.” Mav grabs it.

  “I remember that game,” Adam says.

  I have to admit I feel a pinch of jealousy for all the years I missed. For the history I’ll never have with him. I could never admit that out loud, not now, but before all of this happened I was jealous of Carrie and the time she had with Rhett. But as I watch him pull out mementos from their time together, I realize how stupid I was. He wouldn’t be who he is now without her. He’ll carry pieces of her with him forever, and I’ll be thankful that he is who he is no matter how he got here.

  Among the other items he removes from the box is a Bruins hat that looks nearly identical to the one he always wears, a few newspaper clippings highlighting Rhett’s high school hockey days, and the last item is some sort of collage or photo cube.

  “Oh, hand that over.” Adam grabs it. “I need to show Sienna what your Gumby ass looked like at sixteen.”

  The pictures of them together are heart breaking, as are the words cut out from magazines to say things like perfect couple, true love, and forever. But the real punch to the gut is the sound that comes from it. At first there’s a hint of confusion on Adam’s face when a female voice giggles. “I love you, Rhett.”

  But when Rhett’s voice repeats the sentiment back, we all stare at him and then the cube where the sound is coming.

  “Oh my god.” The words tumble from my lips and I put a hand to my chest. They recorded it together, who knows how long ago. It doesn’t matter. The look on Rhett’s face is gut wrenching.

  He doesn’t say anything for too long.

  Adam holds the cube with two hands in his lap. “Hey, man. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

  Rhett stands and his phone on the coffee table in front of him rings. I feel like I’m watching everything unfold in slow motion. I hold my breath as he picks it up, curls his fingers around it, and launches it at the wall above the TV. It ricochets and falls to the ground with a thud, screen up and very much shattered.

  Adam pushes to his feet and places a hand on Rhett’s shoulder.

  “Save it.” Rhett swipes a hand through the air and shrugs out of his embrace. “You didn’t even like her. None of you did.”

  “Rhett, we didn’t really know her.” Mav’s voice is calm and steady.

  A bitter laugh erupts from him, and he tips his head back. “Fuck all of you and your weak ass attempts to be understanding now. Little too late, don’t you think?”

  He storms off to his room.

  Adam looks to me. “I’m sorry.”

  I go after him. He’s changing clothes and packing his hockey bag.

  “Rhett?” I ask tentatively.

  “Not now, Sienna. I know that had to suck for you, and I’m sorry, but just… not now.”

  I stay in place until he’s walking toward me to exit his room.

  “Where are you going?”

  “The rink. I need to clear my head.”

  Silent tears slide down my cheeks. I want to hug him or go with him, but he doesn’t ask as he pushes past me. He’s finally out of his room and now I just want him to come back.

  31

  Rhett

  Anger vibrates through me as I stand under the hot water. Closing my eyes and unclenching my hands, I try to find release from the giant weight sitting on my chest.

  I thought I’d feel better after a couple of hours on the ice. Fuck, I thought that about coming back to Valley, too. That’s really why I skipped the funeral. I wanted to get back to school and back to normal. Back to Sienna.

  Instead, every day I just wake up and feel shitty all over again. I turn off the shower and wrap a towel around my waist. The locker room is empty and dark. I didn’t bother turning any lights on when I came in.

  Adam sits in his stall, leaning back.

  “Fuck off. I’m perfectly capable of dressing myself.”

  He says nothing. I really wish he’d tell me to shut the fuck up or clock me. Maybe that would make me feel better. It certainly couldn’t make me feel worse.

  I ignore my buddy as I get dressed, hoping he’ll get the hint and leave. I’m in no mood to have a heart-to-heart. I’m in no mood to do anything but go back to the apartment where I can shut myself in my room and not speak to anyone.

  But Adam didn’t come all the way here in the middle of the night to let me be a broody asshole.

  “Well?” I ask, antsy to get this over with. “Say whatever it is you came to say.”

  He sighs. “I love you like a brother. You’re my best friend in the whole world. I just want to be here for you.”

  “You didn’t even like Carrie,” I say again. It’s petty as hell, but it’s true. Adam never liked Carrie. No one was happier than him when we finally broke up for good.

  “Because I know that she fucking cheated on you,” he screeches, voice low. Immediately, his features morph, and he lets out an exasperated sigh. “Fuck. I’m sorry.”

  Well, shit.

  “How long have you known?” I ask, then, “How do you know?”

  “I overheard you on the phone one day. I wanted to ask you about it, but I figured you’d tell me when you were ready to talk about it.”

  “Yeah, that never would have happened.” I didn’t tell a soul the real reason me and Carrie broke up. Until Sienna. Besides, it may have been the last straw, but we were heading that way for a while. We drifted apart, became different people, wanted different things. I guess I didn’t want to give my friends any more reasons not to like her.

  “So, yeah, I wasn’t her biggest fan. Because I’m your biggest fan and I will always have your best interests in mind. I didn’t think you should be with her, but I didn’t hate her. I’m not glad she’s gone.”

  “I know.” I rough a hand through my hair. “Fuck, I know. I’m so goddamn angry, and I don’t know why.”

  “Because you’re hurting. You still cared about her.”

  “It doesn’t make any sense. I can’t wrap my brain around it.”

  We’re quiet for a beat.

  “Sienna went back to her dorm.”

  The knife in my gut twists, but I nod. “Good. I’m shit company.”

  “You need to talk to her.”

  “And say what?”

  “Look, Rhett, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but we all just want to be here for you. Sienna included. It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I know,” I grit out.

  “Do you?” He lets me get by without answering. “Are you ready to head back to the apartment?”

  “Maybe you’re right. I should go see Sienna. What time is it anyway?” I pat my pocket for my phone and then remember I destroyed it.

  “After two in the morning.”

  “Or tomorrow.”

  “She’ll be up,” he says and claps a hand on my shoulder. “Text me if you need anything.”

  Despite Adam’s encouragement, I don’t go see Sienna. I wander to her dorm and then walk home slowly. She has to skate tomorrow and as much as I want to see her, I know it’s selfish of me.

  I send her an email. One quick line, Good luck tomorrow.

  Then I pass the fuck out and hope that tomorrow is better.

  * * *

  I’m up early despite having gone to bed so late. Before I even open my eyes, the events of last night make my head throb. But worst of all, Sienna’s not here.

  I check the time and hop into the shower
. I have a lot of people to apologize to in a short amount of time if I’m going to catch Sienna before she skates today.

  Heath and Ginny are in the living room.

  “Rhett,” Ginny says, sitting up. She looks hesitant and I fucking hate that. I’ve known Ginny for years, since she was a junior high kid dropping off her brother at college. Now she looks afraid of me.

  “I’m really sorry about last night.”

  She gets up and hugs me.

  Heath tips his head. “Feeling better?”

  I shrug. “A little, I guess. Don’t feel like throwing anything.”

  He chuckles. “Good because these thin ass walls can’t handle it.”

  I glance up to the small hole in the wall where my phone hit. “I’ll fix it. Seen Adam?”

  “Out back,” Ginny says, letting me go.

  Adam and Reagan are sitting on a lounge chair together, talking and laughing. So happy. I want that.

  He looks up when I step outside. “Hey, you’re awake.”

  Reagan turns and smiles at me. “I should go get ready for Sienna’s competition.”

  She kisses Adam and leaves us alone.

  “I’m sorry for everything,” I say. “I lost my head. It’s no excuse.”

  “Don’t worry about it. Already forgotten.”

  “Thank you for checking on me even when I don’t want you to.”

  He chuckles. “I’m gonna remember you said that for next time.”

  “God, I hope there’s not a next time like this.”

  His expression sobers. “Are you on your way to the arena?”

  “Soon. I have a few things I need to take care of first.”

  “I meant what I said last night. I always want whatever is best for you. I like Sienna. She’s sweet and caring, and I’ve never seen you so happy. That must be hard, considering everything else.”

  “She’s incredible. I love her. I love her in ways I never thought I could love a person. I thought it would be enough.”