Undercurrents

by Traci Hunter Abramson

  Scattered between the huge, plantation-style houses were smaller farmhouses with their mismatched barns and silos. Forests pushed down into the valleys to the edges of the fields. In some places, the dense trees crowded the road so that nothing was visible beyond it.

  “I would get lost within ten minutes,” Shaye told Matt, watching in wonder as he negotiated back roads to the Blue Ridge Mountains. She assumed that they were still in Virginia, though she knew that a wrong turn could put them in North Carolina or West Virginia within a short hour or two. All she could be sure of was that they were indeed driving in the Shenandoahs, just as so many other tourists did every fall.

  “It won’t be long before we get to the entrance to the parkway.”

  They drove fifteen minutes without passing another car.

  Clusters of houses began to appear as they approached a small town. Matt managed to drive the length of Main Street without having to stop at the only light in town. The shops in the town—the market, the hotel, the bank, and the sheriff’s office—reminded Shaye of a town out of the Old West. Around here, however, gunslingers would have had plenty of places to hide, unlike the deserts of the West.

  An image of Chase popped into her mind as she remembered suddenly that she was hiding from men who weren’t too many generations removed from the old-time criminals. She glanced sideways at Matt. He literally had no idea who she was. Her stomach sank as she realized that he would never know the real her. No one would. Even the truths she could share would always be sprinkled with lies.

  “Here we are.” Matt turned onto the two-lane road operated by the National Park Service.

  The road rolled up and down with the hills, but overall continued to climb steadily higher. Shaye forced herself to focus on the here and now. In silence, she looked out the window at the brilliant colors against the crystal-blue sky. Though the trees were already past their peak, Shaye could see why the narrow road held such appeal.

  Matt soon pulled off the road at a lookout and got out of the car. Shaye followed suit, catching her breath when she approached the railing. From where they stood, the hills dropped away in waves of color. Ridges and valleys warred against each other in a battle for position, somehow creating a peaceful setting between them.

  “It’s incredible,” Shaye managed to say, awed by the expanse below.

  “My folks used to bring us down here every fall.” Matt laughed as he recalled the memories. “I’m surprised they didn’t go insane driving for hours with three kids arguing in the backseat.”

  “I always wished for a brother or sister growing up.”

  “Well, I have both,” Matt told her. “I’ll let you borrow them anytime you want. You’ll probably decide you were lucky to be an only child.”

  She smiled at his joking generosity. “Maybe.”

  They stood there as the minutes stretched on.

  Matt turned away from the scenery to look at Shaye. “You’ve never mentioned your folks.”

  Shaye gripped her hands together as tension and grief spread through her. “My mom died when I was little. It was just me and Dad while I was growing up.” Shaye glanced over at him. “What was it like growing up in a normal-sized family?”

  “Chaos most of the time.” Matt laughed again.

  Shaye enjoyed listening to him as he continued to speak of his family. The love he clearly had for his parents and siblings was enviable, and the home he described sounded warm, loving, and often loud. Shaye wondered what such a household would be like. Growing up as an only child, she had never experienced the noise and chaos so familiar to most LDS homes. Within a year of her baptism, she had already begun to help with meals and the housework. She was more adult than child by the age of twelve, when she took over all of the traditionally female duties.

  Shaye revealed details about her own family sparingly. So little could be said without raising too many questions. She knew that Matt assumed her father was still living, yet she couldn’t bring herself to tell him about his death. Admitting he was gone would only open wounds that were still too fresh.

  Their drive turned into an all-day event. Matt stopped often at overlooks, snapping pictures with the camera he brought along. Together they spent the day gazing out at the incredible stretch of land the Lord had created.

  As darkness fell, Matt turned off the parkway and headed back toward campus. Movement at the side of the road caught his attention. He slowed, and pointed. “Look over there.”

  “Oh!” Shaye sat up straight in her seat to get a better look at the six-point buck watering at a small stream. “He’s magnificent!”

  As though he heard her, the buck lifted his head and stood perfectly still. A moment later, he bounded off into the safety of the trees.

  “In the spring, you’ll be able to see the fawns out with their mothers in the early morning and evening,” Matt told her. “Everything turns so green here.”

  Somewhere in the back of her mind, Shaye wondered vaguely if their friendship would last that long.

  “Let’s stop and get something to eat,” Matt suggested as they approached a roadside diner.

  She nodded in agreement, following him into the simple wooden building. They stepped inside and were immediately met with the scents of coffee and frying onions. The decor and arrangements were classic American diner—stools lining the counter and booths situated along the front wall under the windows. It was the kind of place where the waitress knew everyone by name, and patrons could ask for “the usual” and get what they wanted.

  The waitress behind the counter lifted one hand in greeting as she poured coffee with the other. “Just sit anywhere you like.”

  Matt picked up two menus from the counter and led the way to a corner booth. The service was slow and the food was greasy, yet Shaye couldn’t remember the last time she had a more enjoyable meal. By the time they stepped outside into the chilly night, she was beginning to feel like her old self again, the old self that could develop friendships and enjoy a lazy day with an interesting man.

  “My brother and I used to go to Scout camp not far from here.” Matt motioned when they passed the two-lane road that eventually led to Staunton. “Did you go to church growing up?”

  “Yeah.” Shaye nodded, selecting her words carefully. “Dad took me most Sundays when we weren’t out of town for a swim meet.”

  “What church did you go to?” Matt prodded.

  She shrugged her shoulders, keeping her eyes on the road ahead of them. “It seemed like every time a new church was built, we would end up going to it.” She noticed a large, plantation-style house on the hillside overlooking the road. “Look at that place. Can you imagine what it would be like to grow up in a place like that out here in the middle of the country?”

  * * *

  Matt took the long way home. He had always considered himself a patient man, and he knew how to savor the moment, as well as how to lay the foundation for trust and friendship. As Shaye was just beginning to reveal pieces of her life to him, he wanted to draw out their time together.

  He tried to bring up religion again during their drive, but the look in Shaye’s eyes stopped him from pressing. Why she shied away from the subject he didn’t know, but her eyes became troubled at just the mention of church. He hoped that maybe with a little more time, Shaye would share more of her past with him. And just maybe he would find out what she kept locked up so deep inside.

  Chapter Four

  Shaye slipped into the back of the chapel as the congregation sang the sacrament hymn. She knew Pratt would have a fit if he knew she was here, but she needed the peace she received each week from taking the sacrament.

  She opened her Bible and began reading as the bread and water were passed. When the bishop rose to announce the first speaker, Shaye slipped out of the chapel and walked toward the door.

  As she entered the foyer, Matt’s voice carried toward her.

  “Don’t worry, Bishop. I’ll take care of it.” Matt stood at a nearby door, his
back to Shaye.

  “Thanks for your help, Matt,” she heard a voice inside the room say.

  Shaye backtracked down the hall as the two men shook hands. She tried to block out the image of Matt and how handsome he looked in his dark suit. It was all too easy to picture him sitting next to her in church the way Chase used to.

  How could it be that of all of the people on campus, the only one to really befriend her was also LDS? Even as she remembered the fun of their previous day together, panic rose in her chest, and she realized she couldn’t let her feelings for him go beyond friendship. The emptiness flooded through her as she pushed Matt from her mind.

  * * *

  Matt stepped into the aquatics center just as Shaye stepped out of the locker room. He stopped for a moment, staring. She wore blue jeans that were several washings short of being broken in, and a faded gray sweatshirt swallowed up the rest of her.

  She looked up, her eyes a shade darker than her sweatshirt. Her smile widened as she closed the distance between them. “Good morning.”

  “Morning.” Matt smiled in response. “You had better put your hood up. It’s snowing out there.”

  “Snow?” Shaye rushed to the door to see the huge flakes drifting down to the ground. The sidewalk was already wet where the snow had melted on contact. A dusting of white now warred with the green of the grass to dominate the ground.

  Matt pushed the door open, surprised that Shaye stepped out into the crisp air without putting her hood up.

  Shaye’s eyes lit up with wonder, and she held her hands out to catch the falling flakes.

  Matt watched her, amazed she could be so delighted by the season’s first snowfall. Certainly she was no stranger to snow since she had grown up in Denver. As she turned in a circle, her face tilted up to the sky, his laughter rang out. “You act like you’ve never seen snow before.”

  She froze for a moment, such a brief pause it was hardly noticeable, then turned back to face him, her smile only slightly tense. “Doesn’t it still amaze you when you see snow falling?”

  The large flakes drifted lazily around them, the white contrasting against Shaye’s dark hair. Her eyes were bright, if a little guarded, and Matt realized that he had never seen her as completely happy as she was right at this moment. “It does now.”

  She saw his eyes change as he watched her and turned again to hide the blush coming to her cheeks. Absently, she ran her fingers through her hair, somehow surprised to find that it was wet from snow. Snow was not completely unfamiliar to her. She had gone skiing enough times growing up that she was acquainted with the sensation of the frozen snow crunching under her boots. Even the cold, wet texture was not unfamiliar. But never had she seen the wondrous view of it falling from the sky.

  Turning back to Matt, she saw his eyes were still on her with a new intensity. He stepped closer, reaching out to pull her hood up to cover her wet hair.

  She cleared her throat and managed to find her voice. “I guess we should get inside before we both get soaked.”

  “Getting soaked is hardly a new experience for you.”

  “Hardly.” Shaye’s laughter rang out. On impulse, she grabbed his hand in hers. “Come on. I’ll buy you some hot chocolate.”

  She turned, pulling him toward the cafeteria with her, unaware of the surprise that flickered in his eyes.

  * * *

  Shaye waited as her teammates crowded around the bulletin board. Moans mixed with celebratory cheers as the other swimmers read the list and then made their way to the locker room. Only a few people remained when Shaye finally found the courage to look at the meet roster. She held her breath as she read down the list, exhaling as she found her name under the 200 freestyle, 100 butterfly, and the 200 freestyle relay. As far as she could tell, her only real competition from her own team was Denise, a team captain, who would swim against her in the butterfly.

  When Shaye entered the locker room, she was surprised to hear her name called.

  “Congratulations on making the A relay team,” Vicky told Shaye. As a sophomore, Vicky was the only other underclassman to score an A relay spot.

  “Thanks.” Shaye smiled. “You too.”

  Denise suddenly walked up and spoke to the girls. “We almost broke the school record last year for this relay.” She looked from Vicky to Shaye. “I plan on breaking it before I graduate this year.”

  “Don’t worry, Denise,” Vicky replied. “We’ll be ready.”

  “You had better be,” Denise commanded.

  “Ignore her,” Vicky told Shaye as Denise retreated. “She’s obsessed about breaking that record.”

  Shaye nodded, glancing around the locker room. She knew the names of the other swimmers, but little else about them. Would competition bring them closer or pull them further apart?

  Even as she stepped out into the clear, crisp morning, Shaye wondered if she would ever feel like she belonged again. When an arm wrapped around her shoulders, she jumped with surprise.

  “Hey, there.” Matt fell into step beside her, dropping his arm from her shoulder as soon as he steered her toward the cafeteria.

  “Good morning,” she said, wishing his arm had stayed in place a little longer.

  “Have you made any plans yet for this weekend?” Matt asked, opening the cafeteria door for her.

  Shaye shook her head. “Just the usual. You know, get wet, pretend to dry my hair, get in the pool again.”

  “Do you think you can get your hair dry in time to go out to dinner Friday night?”

  She smiled. “It’s possible.”

  “And again on Saturday, say in time for the football game?” Matt stepped into line to order their breakfast.

  “Are you trying to dominate my free time?”

  “What are friends for?” Matt grinned at her. “And I’m still waiting for you to invite me to your swim meet tomorrow.”

  Shaye raised an eyebrow. “It’s only fair to warn you that I can be pretty miserable to be around after I lose a race.”

  “Then don’t lose.” Matt shrugged. “But if that doesn’t work, I’m all for indulging in gallons of chocolate ice cream.”

  “A man after my own heart.” Shaye laughed as they made their way to a table. She sat down with her back to the door, all of her attention on Matt.

  * * *

  She was becoming a habit, Matt decided as he walked into the aquatics center, and not necessarily a good one. Brandon had razzed him before he left the apartment, lecturing Matt on the many downfalls of dating a nonmember. We’re just friends, Matt reminded himself.

  He found a seat in the crowded bleachers overlooking the pool. The swimmers for the first race were already in the water, and Matt scanned the deck until he located Shaye standing behind the blocks. When she turned to look up at the crowd, Matt was annoyed at the little lurch in his stomach.

  He settled into his seat just moments before her first race was called. The frailty he so often saw in her disappeared the minute she stepped on the block. She was shorter than all of her competition, but she exuded confidence in her stance.

  She began her race even with the field, but Matt watched in amazement as she pulled ahead quickly, increasing her lead with each lap. She finished more than a body length in front of her nearest competitor, yet she remained in the pool until the last swimmer finished.

  Her lead was even more impressive when she raced butterfly. She cut through the water gracefully, making the demanding stroke appear to be effortless. Her finish was a full three strokes ahead of her nearest competitors. The crowd cheered as Shaye’s teammate barely out-touched a girl from the other team for second place.

  Matt watched in shock when Shaye approached her teammate and offered a congratulatory handshake only to have that teammate turn and stalk away. Shaye’s hand dropped limply to her side, and she stepped away from the blocks, her eyes focused on the pool deck as she walked out of sight.

  She made her way instinctively through the crowd and back over to the team area, then sat
on an empty bench, fighting back her tears. The slight from Denise didn’t hurt nearly as much as the memories of her last meet. Never again would she be able to look up into the stands to see her father and Chase cheering for her.

  When she heard the 100 breaststroke called to the block, Shaye pressed her hands to her eyes. She couldn’t even watch it. Moments later, she could only sigh when she heard the winning time announced, a time that was a full five seconds slower than her personal best.

  Vicky’s voice broke into Shaye’s thoughts. “Shaye, it’s almost time for our relay.”

  Shaye gathered her goggles and cap and fell into step with Vicky. Their coach appeared with the rest of their relay team, Heidi and Denise.

  “Okay, we’re going to have Shaye start off. Then Vicky, Heidi, and Denise is the anchor.” Coach handed the event card to Shaye. “This is just our first meet, so don’t worry about breaking the record. It’s going to fall sometime this year, it’s just a matter of time.”

  Shaye stepped onto the block when their event was called. She entered the water with the rest of the field, but she struggled to find her rhythm. When she touched the wall, the other team’s swimmer had already finished.

  After climbing out of the pool, Shaye watched Vicky close the distance and then pass the other relay. By the time Heidi finished her portion of the race, Denise had a comfortable lead with only the clock to beat.

  Everyone held their breath as Denise finished the race. There was no doubt they were close to the school record, but a collective sigh of disappointment echoed when the time was posted. They had missed the record by one tenth of a second.

  Denise slapped the water in frustration before climbing out of the pool. She made a beeline for Coach Terrance, her breathing still labored.

  “Did you get our splits?” Denise demanded.

  The coach nodded, turning her clipboard so Denise could see their individual times. “You all swam well. We’ll work on the exchanges at practice next week. We can drop more time there.”