by Anna Sugden
She held him throughout the night, every time he woke and the shock and horror came crashing down on him again. When the tears—hot, angry and bitter—fell. When he railed at everyone and everything, not the least his friend. When he kept asking why.
Then, when he’d needed the reassurance of life, she’d made sweet love to him.
The following morning, Scott was drained. Empty. His head pounded and his mouth was parched. His guts felt like he’d swallowed acid. It was as if he were hungover, but there was no freaking hair of the dog for this situation.
A shower and breakfast, which Sapphie cooked for him, had him feeling halfway human.
“Don’t get used to it. This is a one-off, because of the circumstances,” she’d warned.
“I would say it’s almost worth it, but...” He couldn’t finish the thought.
“I know and I appreciate the sentiment.”
Scott pulled her onto his lap. “Enough miserable talk. Tell me about you. What’s your week been like?”
For the first time since he’d arrived, she seemed a little hesitant to speak. “Oh, you know. Busy, busy, busy.”
“I thought everything was winding down with the holidays coming up.”
“There’s always another contract and another project. Some you just can’t say no to.”
“Such as?”
She waved a hand and said airily, “I don’t want to bore you with tales of my work. I bet tonight is one of those times when you really wish you could strap on your skates and play a hard sixty minutes with the team.”
“Definitely.” He accepted the abrupt change in subject, but it made him more curious as to why she didn’t want to discuss work. “Ironically, given the circumstances, I’d be happy to drop the gloves, too. Going a round or two with an enforcer would probably do me a world of good right now. And save me busting my knuckles by hitting a wall.”
“I understand the principle, but fighting, you’re more likely to get a busted jaw.”
“Only because I’m not in the peak shape I was in when I was playing.”
She waggled her eyebrows at him. “I think your shape will do.”
“As long as it satisfies you.”
“Any more satisfied and I wouldn’t be able to walk straight.”
“Then you’d be the one busting your nose against a wall.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “That would be a shame.”
“Oh, I think you could make even a bruised nose worth it.” She brushed her lips against his, then settled into him as she took the kiss deeper.
When they broke apart, breathing heavily, she said, “Mmm, definitely worth it.”
Much as he was enjoying her efforts to distract him, he wanted to know what she was keeping from him. The way she kept deflecting the question made him nervous. She obviously thought he wouldn’t like whatever it was.
“You want to tell me what’s going on? I’m sure it can’t be as bad as you’re making me imagine it might be.”
She sighed. “It’s not bad at all. At least, not for me. And I’m not trying to hide anything. I just didn’t think this was the time to talk about my work. Marty has given me another acquisition project to evaluate.”
“That’s great. Congratulations.” She didn’t sound as excited as he would have expected. “I’d have thought you’d be jumping for joy.”
Sapphie climbed off his lap and leaned against the kitchen counter, wrapping her arms around her waist. “It’s a really nice piece of work, and financially, it will mean we start next year strong and sound.”
“Okay, so what’s the problem?”
Did this job mean they wouldn’t be able to see each other as much? At this point in their relationship, when everything was still finely balanced, an extended separation was the last thing they needed. “Is Marty expecting you to be in LA for the duration?”
“No, but there is a complication.” She explained that the project was evaluating a soccer team in England and what that meant for her schedule over the next month or so. “I’ll have to be there pretty much until Christmas.”
There it was. Her work was coming between them again. “When do you leave?”
“I’m flying to Newark tonight and taking the day flight to London on Monday morning. It’ll get me there Monday night, so I’ll get some sleep before—I’m sure you don’t want to know the details.”
“I see. So you won’t be at the game.” That shouldn’t have bothered him. But it did.
“I wanted to go, but I couldn’t get a later flight. I did think about hitching a ride with you guys, on the team plane, but figured that might be taking advantage of our relationship.” She smiled tentatively.
He didn’t feel like smiling back. “I guess this means you won’t make Bullet’s funeral next Saturday either.”
“Uh, no.” She looked startled. “I never thought about attending.”
“Even though I need you there.”
“I’m sorry, but it never occurred to me that you’d want me to accompany you.”
He felt let down. “Why not? Isn’t that what couples do—support each other?”
“I suppose so, but I’m new to this whole relationship thing. I assumed you’d be with your teammates and friends.”
“Yeah, but it would have been nice to have you there, too.”
“I don’t know what to say, but I’m sorry. Again.”
“Surely Marty will give you some leeway under those circumstances.”
“He might if it was my family or a close friend, but I didn’t even know Cam.”
“I did. And we’re together. That should count for something.”
Sapphie straightened, her eyes stormy. “I know this is a difficult time for you, and I feel for all you’re going through, but don’t you think you’re being a little unreasonable? There’s a good reason I can’t be there. I have a work commitment out of the country.”
Truth was there would always be a work commitment that came before him in her priorities. Just when he’d begun to think that they were moving in the right direction. That they could make a go of their relationship.
“Is it unreasonable to expect the woman in my life to think it’s more important to accompany me to my friend’s funeral than to accompany her boss to a soccer game?” Crap. He didn’t mean to strike out so viciously.
She arched an eyebrow at him. “It’s not about me having a fun day out. It’s about providing a service for an important client. I’d have thought, as an assistant GM, you’d understand that. You attend games for reasons other than to watch the Ice Cats play.”
“That’s different.”
“It’s not different at all. There are two rules here—one for you and one for me. How much flexibility would there be if the situation was reversed? You couldn’t be home for Thanksgiving because you were on the road with the Cats. What if I’d made the same fuss because I wanted you to meet my sister?”
“It’s hardly the same. I can meet your sister another time. Cam’s funeral is a one-off.”
“Look, I know it’s not ideal timing, but it can’t be helped. I knew it would upset you and that’s the last thing you need right now. Which is why I was reluctant to bring it up.”
“When did you plan to talk about it? When you started packing for your trip? When the car arrived to take you to the airport?”
“You make me sound callous. Honestly, I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I just knew this morning that you needed a little time before facing another problem.”
He could see that she was bewildered about why he was making such a big deal out of something she didn’t see as that important. Sure, he wasn’t handling it well—he blamed the emotional upheaval of the past forty-eight hours—but couldn’t she understand that this was a defining moment of their relationship? At what point
did she start taking what they had together seriously? When did she stop treating him like he was just a fling?
He ran his hand over his jaw. Maybe it was time he found out.
“What does this mean for us?”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
HOW SAPPHIE DREADED any question about us.
Like the proverbial harbinger of doom, it inevitably signaled a conversation that wouldn’t end well. Someone always got hurt and upset. No matter how well things had gone to that point, how happy both people had been, that one discussion always messed it up.
Why did relationships need to be defined and analyzed? Why couldn’t they just be?
In the past, whenever the question of us had been raised, Sapphie had considered it the beginning of the end. Despite her constant reminders that she didn’t do serious, the guy she was dating would want to take things to the next level. Some had wanted to go as far as living together. As if that weren’t one small step away from marriage.
The mere thought turned her stomach.
She should have known her trip to England would trigger the dreaded discussion. Perhaps she had known, which was why she’d put off telling Scotty about it. As it was, she’d hoped a little reassurance on her part would prevent a blowup. That maybe she and Scotty, despite having been together only a relatively short time, had progressed to the point where they could deal with this hurdle sensibly.
Unfortunately, at the moment, he was being a jerk. Sapphie was prepared to cut him a little slack because of what he was dealing with, but he was dangerously close to the precipice of their relationship. If he didn’t ease up, take a step back, there would be no future for them.
Sapphie really didn’t want to end it with Scotty. If they could come to some kind of reasonable compromise, they might be able to avoid a decision that neither of them wanted.
“I know being on opposite sides of the Atlantic will make things difficult in the short term.” She forced her voice to remain calm, measured. “But I’m sure we can find ways to deal with it.”
Scotty rose and paced the kitchen. “Can we?”
His cynical tone made her wonder if he even wanted to try.
“Of course. It’ll take some fancy footwork, but it’s only temporary.” When he didn’t look convinced, she added, “We knew a long-distance relationship wouldn’t be easy. The distance is just a little longer and the opportunity to be together is a tad more complicated than we anticipated for the next month.”
“That’s an understatement.” He stopped pacing and jammed his hands in his pockets. “We won’t be together until at least Christmas—if you can make it then. Come January, you’ll be off to... Where is it again?”
“Houston.”
“Right, then wherever else you need to go after that.”
Sapphie gritted her teeth, trying hard to keep a rein on her temper. “I can’t come back next weekend, but I’m not saying I can’t make a trip to Jersey at all. Maybe you could fly to meet me for a couple of days at some point, too. I know it’s different from what we’d planned, but we can make it work.”
“I can’t just take off. You know how busy this time of year is. The games come thick and fast.”
“But you don’t have to be there for every game,” she said levelly, even though she wanted to smack some sense into him. “Surely you could miss one. If it’s easier for you to fly over midweek, I can work my schedule around that.”
“Like that’ll happen. All it’ll take is an important meeting and our time together would be a bust.”
She wanted to reassure him but knew she couldn’t promise. It would be tempting fate. “You’re deliberately putting up obstacles instead of finding a solution.”
“The obstacles are already there. The question is whether they’ll ever go away. Whether you’ll be committed enough to our relationship that it occasionally takes precedence over your work.”
With each verbal dig, Sapphie’s anger grew. Now she was the one pacing the kitchen. “I’m tired of being your whipping boy. So my project has thrown a wrench in our plans. Up to now, I’ve tried hard to make things work for us. But I’m beginning to wonder why I bother when you’re stamping your foot like a child whose toy was taken away.”
“Excuse me for expecting more from you than you’re prepared to give. For feeling like the only one who gives a freaking damn about us.” He waved his hand back and forth between them.
“That’s not fair. The fact that we’re actually in a relationship tells you how important I think us is.” Why did she have to keep defending herself? “You knew what you were getting into with me. I made it clear that I’ll never be the kind of woman who sits around waiting for her partner to have time to pay attention. I won’t put my life, my career or my business on hold for any man.”
Sapphie winced inwardly as he stiffened. That was a low blow. She knew one of the reasons his marriage had broken up was that his wife had wanted to put her life and interests first once he’d retired.
She changed tack slightly. “I have a successful business. I have to make tough choices to keep it that way. You were the one who insisted we could make our relationship work in spite of that. Have you changed your mind now that it’s not quite so straightforward and we both have to make sacrifices?”
“Of course not.” He crossed his arms over his chest.
“Feels that way to me. I can’t turn my life and my business upside down to revolve around your needs. I won’t. Just as I don’t expect you to revolve your life around mine.”
“Really? Seems to me that’s exactly what you expect. Every time Marty or some other client snaps his fingers, you pick up and go. To hell with what we have planned.”
“It’s unfortunate, but that’s the way it goes. You don’t seem to have the same problem if the shoe’s on the other foot. You expect me to roll with it and I do.” She stopped short of mentioning that he’d canceled with her to go to Ottawa. She wouldn’t use that tragedy to make her point.
“Because I can’t do anything about it.”
“Neither can I.” This argument was going nowhere and that precipice was ever closer. “Let’s take a step back and think about this rationally. We’re talking about a month, not a lifetime. If you’d stop being so stubborn, I’m sure we can find a practical solution.”
He stalked to the windows and stared out for a few minutes before turning to her. “That’s where we’re at odds.” His voice had a note of resignation that set alarm bells ringing. “Because in reality, it isn’t just about these next few weeks, or even months, is it? This will happen again and again. Marty is an important client and he’s only going to get more so. And he’ll keep on expecting you to drop everything for him.”
Especially if she was to sell her business and become part of Antonelli Holdings.
Something in her face must have alerted Scotty, because he looked at her strangely. “There’s more, isn’t there?”
She wanted to deny it—telling him would only make things worse—but given the way the conversation was going, she might as well lay it out for him and let the chips fall however they may. “It’s only preliminary, and I haven’t decided whether or not to entertain the idea, but Marty wants to buy my business.” She explained what Marty had said to her.
“Congratulations.” He made it sound like the opposite.
“I don’t think it will make a difference to how things work, or to us, but I’m sure you feel differently.”
“Come on. Even if you don’t move to LA, you’ll be even more at his beck and call. And you won’t be able to say no when he owns you.”
“He won’t own me. And where I’m based doesn’t affect where my projects are,” she said wearily.
She could have told him that she planned to move to New Jersey and that, if she agreed to sell, she’d make that clear to Marty, but wha
t was the point? Scotty had already made up his mind that their relationship couldn’t work unless she did things his way.
Scotty leaned against the breakfast bar. “Easy to say now, but our relationship will suffer. Seeing each other will go from every week to every couple weeks to once a month. I’m sorry, but I want more than the occasional flyby visit. I want someone who’s prepared to commit to being with me. Who wants to be involved in my life and who considers me as important in her life as she is in mine.”
“You think I don’t do that.” She threw her arms up in frustration. “Even though, in reality, the only person turning herself inside out to make her partner happy is me. I don’t notice you making the same effort to adjust your life and your work to make me happy.”
“It’s not that simple. I don’t have control over my schedule. Just because I’m in the Cats’ front office, not playing, doesn’t mean I’m not bound by the NHL’s timetable. I can’t blow off games or meetings because they’re inconvenient.”
“Neither can I.”
“You run your own business and dictate the projects. You could find some flexibility if it was that important to you.”
“I’m just as bound by my clients’ needs as you are by the league.” She was suddenly tired of going over the same ground repeatedly. She dropped onto a chair at the table. “You know what? You’re right. Without both of us prepared to compromise and work at our relationship, this isn’t worth continuing.”
Sapphie saw the resignation in his eyes. The inevitable conclusion she’d wanted to avoid so desperately was here.
“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I really thought we had a chance. I care for you a lot.”
“I care for you, too.” She gave it one last shot. She rose and went to stand in front of him. She wanted to touch him but was afraid that if she did, she’d lose her resolve, so she kept her hand at her side. “This is a difficult time. Is it really a good idea to rush this decision? Maybe if we waited and thought about it some more...”
He shook his head sadly. “It’s because this is such a difficult time that it’s important to do what’s necessary. No matter how much it hurts. Life is too damn short. We can’t waste a single precious moment on something that isn’t right.”
