They're Always With You

by Mary Clare Lockman

  “Dad, I didn’t want you told,” Aunt Florence said. “I was afraid that I wouldn’t hear from him and you’d be disappointed. Please don’t be mad.”

  “What do you have to do, Florence?” my dad asked.

  “I have to call him about where we should meet. Depending on how that goes, he may decide not to see me again. It’s his choice.”

  Gramps wasn’t saying anything. I wondered if he was feeling bad that we had all been keeping a secret from him.

  Aunt Florence showed the letter to us after the dishes were done.

  Dear Florence, (I hope you don’t mind me calling you that)

  I was surprised to get your letter. I read it twice the first day I got it. Then I put it aside for a couple of weeks and read it again.

  I had to think about what I wanted to do and what I wanted to say to you. The first thing I had to do was talk to my parents and make sure whatever I decided was all right with them. My mother wasn’t sure that it was a good idea to meet you. She didn’t want me to be hurt, she said. I told her I wouldn’t write to you until she said it was okay with her. My dad thought it was okay from the beginning. He must have talked it over with my mother because she changed her mind. They both gave me their blessing to do whatever I felt was right.

  Thank you for thinking about me through the years. To answer your question, I found out I was adopted when I was eight. I spent a lot of time for a couple of years wondering about you and the reasons for giving me up. My mother said that is the greatest sacrifice a mother can make. And then she said that they actually got to pick me so I was loved by two mothers.

  When I thought about it that way, I guess I thought I was pretty lucky. I’ve had a good life so far and two wonderful parents. Please know that I don’t blame you for your decision. You mentioned having a lot of guilt at times and you don’t need to. I really am okay.

  I have a sister named Tess who’s two years younger than me. She was adopted also so we understand each other pretty well. Sometimes we have emotions that others don’t so we talk a lot.

  After talking it over with my parents and Tess, I decided I would like to meet with you. I’m starting college in about a month. Since I’ll be away for the next four years except for vacation, I thought I should meet you in the next week. If that’s okay, that is.

  You mentioned that your family wants to meet me too. I think that would be too much for me the first time but maybe we could plan something in the future.

  Daniel

  “Florence, that’s wonderful. He sounds like a fine young man,” my mom said. The words kind of cracked since she had started crying about halfway through the letter.

  “He does, doesn’t he?” Aunt Florence hung onto the letter.

  I wiped my eyes. That phrase about him being okay really got to me. “Call him tonight,” I said. “Otherwise, I won’t get a chance to meet him for maybe four years.”

  Gramps and my dad were wiping their eyes too. They both cleared their throats.

  “The boy is already going to college. It’s hard to believe so much time has passed,” Gramps said.

  “I’m going to call him in a little while,” Aunt Florence said.

  “Florence, call him now,” my mom said. “Go on.”

  “I have to wait until my heart slows down.” She felt her pulse. “Okay, a couple of deep breaths and I should be fine.” Aunt Florence took in two deep breaths. “Wish me luck.”

  “Good luck,” I said.

  “Good luck. Now go.” My mom gently pushed Aunt Florence towards the basement.

  She was back within fifteen minutes with the plans. She was meeting her son at a place called the St. Clair Broiler in St. Paul. It would be for lunch on Saturday and just the two of them. Aunt Florence said she didn’t know how she was going to wait two more days. She had to work the next day and then tell them at work that she wouldn’t be in on Saturday.

  “Good for you, Florence. What did Mother used to say? Bravo. Bravo, Florence.” My mom hugged her sister.

  “Hey, what about me?” I walked over for a group hug. Aunt Florence gave me a kiss on the cheek.

  On Saturday, Aunt Florence changed her outfits three or four times. She finally settled on a gray pantsuit. She had a white blouse under it. My mom went upstairs and then came back with a red silk scarf. She tied it around her neck and stepped back. Two thumbs went up into the air.

  “Florence, you look lovely. Just be yourself. Come here.” Gramps hugged Aunt Florence. “I’m proud of you.”

  “Thank you. I better go.” She put on her lipstick, brushed her hair, wiped her lipstick into a tissue, and straightened her scarf. She smoothed her suit jacket, pulled the sleeves down by her wrists, and checked the crease in her pants. She brushed her hair again and then gave it a quick squeeze. Out loud she said, “Okay.”

  “Good luck,” I said. The problem was that I was going to have to wait all day to hear what my cousin, Daniel, was like and whether I was going to meet him before he went to college.

  I hadn’t been able to read anything all spring for the fun of it between Gramp’s stroke and Mrs. Bosworth working us like dogs. Everything I had read had something to do with school. Not that I minded learning some things but it sure was nice to take a book outside, lay by a tree, and watch the clouds go by while listening to the birds. So that’s what I decided to do. I grabbed a book from the pile in my room and proceeded to the back yard. I hoped the day would go by quickly so I didn’t have to wait too long for Aunt Florence.

  It was 10:00 pm before Aunt Florence returned to Red Wing. We all sat in the living room while she told us the story of meeting her son, Daniel at the St. Clair Broiler.

  “I was a little early so I sat in a booth and waited,” Aunt Florence said. “I saw Daniel through the window walking towards the front door. It was as though our brother, Daniel, was walking through the door. I would have recognized him anywhere. It was uncanny.”

  “Wow,” my mom said.

  “We were both nervous to begin with. I thought school would be a neutral subject so I asked him what he liked in school and what he was going to study in college.”

  “What was his answer?”

  “He said he was thinking about Psychology but he really liked to write stories. So he’s kind of nervous about college because he’s not quite sure of what he wants to do.”

  Gramps had looked over at me when Aunt Florence said Psychology. He gave me a wink.

  “Our brother liked to write too,” my mom said.

  “And you won’t believe it, but Daniel loves the river. He puts the river in some of his stories,” Aunt Florence said. “He did ask me about his father.”

  “What did you say?” my mom asked.

  “I told him the truth. That I had loved Roy and didn’t know he was married.”

  My dad leaned in towards Aunt Florence. “He wasn’t fair to you, Florence,” he said.

  “I can’t think about that. I put it behind me years ago,” Aunt Florence said. “Anyway, Daniel asked me how old I was when I had him. I told him I was eighteen and that I had no way of taking care of him. Then he asked me if I was married now. I said I had never dated anyone but Roy.”

  “Did he reply to that?” my mom asked. She brought Aunt Florence a cup of hot coffee.

  “Not right away. I had decided I would answer any question he asked me.” Aunt Florence took a sip of her coffee. “Then he said, ‘That must have been hard for you, Florence.’ And I guess we both relaxed.”

  I felt kind of bad for all the times I had laughed and made fun of Aunt Florence never going on a date.

  Aunt Florence continued. “I told him about all of you and my brother, Daniel. He told me about his family. And yes, Colette, he does play basketball.”

  “I knew it. I knew it,” I said.

  There wasn’t a dry eye in the house when Aunt Florence told us Daniel thanked her for contacting the adoption agency. He said he was kind of mad at her for giving him up but he understood that it must have bee
n an impossible situation. He said that her choice had allowed him to have two great parents. And he said he was glad they had met because she had answered his questions.

  Aunt Florence said she thanked him for letting her spend so much time with him. She told him it was one of the most memorable days of her life. They shook hands for a long, long time when they said goodbye. Then he said he’d like to come to Red Wing to meet everyone. He said he’d have to check with his parents first because he was leaving in about three weeks. So they left it that he would call in the next week and hopefully set something up.

  I don’t think anybody noticed but my fingers had been crossed for the whole conversation. Now I uncrossed them and yelled, “Yes.”

  Chapter Twenty Five

  Daniel

  Two weeks later we waited in our house for my cousin, Daniel. My mom and Aunt Florence had been working on the meal all afternoon. My mom was in charge of the potato salad. I couldn’t believe how much work it was. She was boiling potatoes, making hard boiled eggs, cutting and chopping up celery, onion, and radishes. I had wanted our famous rump roast but I was overruled since everybody was afraid it would be too hot to turn on the oven.

  Aunt Florence had made a fresh peach pie for dessert. My dad said she was thinking about the old saying, “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” He had bought corn on the cob since it was August and we were having hamburgers on the grill. He called it a perfect summer meal.

  My dad took off work early so he could help too. The good china was out. My dad and I got the table ready with a lace tablecloth. Then we set the table with the good china and the good silverware.

  Aunt Florence had told us that her son looked a lot like her brother, Daniel. Gramps grabbed his heart and said, “Oh, my God,” under his breath when Daniel walked in our house.

  “Nice to meet you, Daniel. Nice to meet you,” Gramps said. He shook Daniel’s hand.

  “Nice to meet you too, Mr. Rossini.”

  “Call me Antonio.”

  They had started out very seriously but now both of them were grinning from ear to ear. Good old Gramps. How could you resist him?

  When I was introduced, I said, “Do you like basketball?”

  Daniel said, “Of course, how could you not?”

  “That’s exactly how I feel. Do you play?”

  “I played in high school but I’m not going to in college. I’m not good enough.”

  “Can you do a jump shot?”

  “Yeah, I can do a jump shot.”

  “I knew it.”

  “Colette will talk about basketball all night if you let her. Sit down,” my mom said to Daniel. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “Do you have a Coke?”

  “Sure. I’ll get you one.”

  “Me too, Mom,” I said. I had to take advantage of the chance to have a Coke before dinner. I sat in the living room across from Daniel. “Just wait till you taste Aunt Florence’s fresh peach pie. It almost melts in your mouth. I’d say it’s out-of-this world.”

  “Is she a good cook?” Daniel asked.

  I thought of what my dad had said. “The best,” I said while sipping my Coke.

  My dad and Gramps showed Daniel the garage. I wanted to go with them but my mom said she needed help. She said she would make the hamburger patties if I shucked the husks off of the corn. Aunt Florence had already started working on the corn. I decided I would pitch in without complaining or saying how unfair it was.

  A big kettle waited on the stove for the corn. All you could hear was splash, splash as the corn was tossed into the kettle. With every splash I thought that’s one less ear of corn I have to shuck.

  My dad lit the coals in the grill when they were outside. He came in and said, “I’m just about ready. How are you doing?”

  “The patties are ready,” my mom said. She had the patties carefully stacked in layers with wax paper in between so they wouldn’t stick to each other.

  My dad grabbed the plate with the stacked burgers on it and headed out to the grill. He always stayed outside with his burgers. So we didn’t see him again until they were done. We hurried when my dad yelled that the burgers were done. My mom took the corn out of the kettle and put it on a plate, Aunt Florence brought the potato salad to the table, and I carried the hamburger buns to the table in a basket.

  We sat down. Gramps said, “Bless Us, Oh Lord,” and “Thank you for my family,” and we started passing the food around.

  “Daniel, sometimes you have to yell for things at our dinner table,” I said.

  “I’ll remember that.”

  “It’s too bad we don’t have crescent rolls because Aunt Florence could do one of her famous hook shots and sail it over to your plate.”

  “I’d like to see that,” Daniel said.

  “Okay. You asked for it.” Aunt Florence took a hamburger bun out of the basket, pulled her arm back, and tossed the roll through the air in a perfect arc.

  Daniel plucked the roll out of the air and put it on his plate. “I wouldn’t want to play one-on-one with you,” he said.

  Aunt Florence giggled in her contagious way and so we all laughed. We couldn’t help it. And there was so much conversation, I barely got a word in. But I didn’t care. Not one little bit. We finished eating and just sat at the table, talking and laughing. All of a sudden, my mom remembered the pie.

  “Daniel, how would you like your pie?” my mom asked. “Plain or a la mode?”

  “A la mode, please.”

  “A boy after my own heart,” Gramps said. “Load it up for me too.”

  Gramps exclaimed as usual about how great the pie was and the whole meal for that matter. I noticed Daniel holding his stomach so he must have been as stuffed as I was.

  I couldn’t believe my ears when my mom said, “Let’s leave the dishes and go into the living room.”

  Gramps got out the photo albums. He showed Daniel pictures of Grandma Rose, her parents, Paddy and Marie, Mom and Aunt Florence growing up, my mom and dad’s wedding, and me as a baby and little kid. And, of course, we all looked at the picture of Uncle Daniel in his uniform. Now, when I looked at my uncle and then looked at my cousin, the resemblance was incredible. The two Daniels could easily have been brothers. We were in a semi-circle around Daniel while he asked questions. He asked Gramps if he had any pictures from Ellis Island.

  “No,” Gramps said, “but I remember it like it was yesterday.”

  “I wish I would have known that because I would have interviewed you for my history paper last spring.”

  “Just let me know if it comes up again. I’ll be happy to help.”

  I said, “I hope you’ve got a lot of time because Gramps loves to talk about Ellis Island.”

  “Maybe we can talk about it when I’m home for Christmas vacation,” Daniel said.

  “I’d like that,” Gramps said. “I’d like that a lot.”

  Daniel told us at 9:00 pm that it was time for him to go. Gramps pumped Daniel’s hand and then put his hand on his shoulder. “Good luck in school. I hope it goes well for you.” He stood for a moment looking at Daniel. “Come here. No Italian grandfather would let his grandson leave without hugging him.” He hugged Daniel and then kissed him on each cheek.

  “Thank you for coming,” my mom said. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

  “Thanks for inviting me,” Daniel said.

  “Don’t mention it,” my dad said. “You’re welcome any time.” He shook Daniel’s hand. “You’re family, you know.”

  “Bye, Daniel,” I said. “I’m glad I have a cousin.”

  “Me too.” He messed up my hair but I didn’t care.

  Aunt Florence and Daniel stood in front of the door, neither of them saying a word. It was Daniel who broke the silence.

  “Florence, I really enjoyed this. Thank you.”

  “Thank you. You’ve made me very happy. Can I write to you?”

  “I might not write back for a couple of weeks but I’d like
that.”

  He turned to walk out the door and then turned around again to Aunt Florence. Neither of them said anything this time because they were too busy hugging. He walked out the door with all of us watching and yelling, “Good luck.”

  “Wait, Daniel. Can I write to you too?” I said.

  Daniel turned around. “Sure, Colette. Write to me. I’d love to hear all about basketball season.”

  “Godspeed, Daniel,” Gramps said.

  “I’ll call when I come back for Christmas,” Daniel said before he closed his car door.

  We all watched until the car taillights were out of sight.

  “I can die happy now,” Gramps said as he sat in his chair.

  So that’s my story. September is here. I’ll be starting seventh grade in a couple of days and I won’t have Mrs. Bosworth. Ta - Da! I won’t ever have to watch “Becoming a Woman” again. Double Ta – Da!

  Basketball season starts the first day of school. I’ll be practicing one-on-one with Bobby Bennett every Saturday. Even though I told the Bloomer I was really going to miss her, I’m looking forward to playing without having to dive after one of her crazy passes. I’ll have quite a cheering section this year since Aunt Florence said she isn’t going to miss a game. I can hardly wait for our play-by-play discussions after each game.

  I wonder if I’ll look back on this summer of 1970 as the summer when my family really got to know each other. My mom said that we put old ghosts to rest. I’ve learned that sometimes people are just trying to spare each other’s feelings. Like Gramps, for instance. He was trying to spare Aunt Florence and she was trying to spare him. So they never talked about either of the two Daniels. After all Aunt Florence’s worry about how Gramps would react to meeting her son, Gramp’s heart was on his sleeve. He actually said he could die happy.

  I’ve decided I’m a pretty lucky girl. We have a brand-new garage that I helped build. Sally is the best best-friend ever. I have the coolest dad in the world. I actually use my mom’s sayings because they describe things so well. Aunt Florence is fun to be around these days. We’re even thinking about driving up to St. Paul again so we can compare the fall colors along the banks of the river with Lake Pepin. And the best thing of all. I have a great cousin named Daniel who said I could write to him in college.