by Shea Balik
“Yeah,” Elden mumbled as he soaked up Cabe’s warmth for a full ten seconds before pulling away. “I better go pack up, or she’ll lock the door and I won’t be allowed to get my stuff.”
Cabe’s eyebrows rose up. “Will you go out with me tonight? I need to go back to the bar to check on things, but Wednesday’s are slow and Jaivon will be there to manage.”
Bubbles of joy welled within Elden’s stomach. “I’d love to.” It was the truth. As much as he’d dreaded facing Cabe for the past two weeks, now that he was there, Elden wanted to spend all his time with him.
Cabe leaned in and placed a soft kiss against his lips. “I’ll pick you up at six.”
Elden walked into his mother’s house on a cloud. Not even her frosty glare or pointed comment about how lucky he was someone as handsome as Cabe gave him the time of day diminished his happiness.
CHAPTER 10
Nerves gripped Cabe as he walked over to Elden’s apartment. The encounter earlier with Doris explained a lot about Elden’s shyness. With a mother like that, it was a wonder Elden had the courage to ever leave his house.
It also meant Cabe would have to be patient if he had any hope of convincing Elden he wanted more than a few dates. What Cabe couldn’t figure out was his own need to make their relationship more permanent. He’d always been happier playing the field.
Oh, he’d had boyfriends in the past, but they’d never really lasted long, nor had Cabe ever entered the relationship thinking it might last. But with Elden things were different. Maybe that was why he’d kept things between them to a light flirtation instead of asking him out right away.
Instinctively, Cabe had known Elden was different. He wanted forever, if that even existed. Growing up, Cabe’s parents had fought like cats and dogs. By the time he was nine, they’d finally given up and gotten divorced. Both of their relationships after that had been just as rocky.
His mom had been married three times, but was currently single, although she had recently moved in with someone. Based on his phone calls and the way she spoke of… Bill? Will? No, that wasn’t right. Maybe it was Jim or Tim? Anyway, it didn’t matter, she didn’t sound optimistic the relationship would last long.
His dad had been married five times and divorced four. His last wife had died in a car accident six months ago and he hadn’t found anyone new, that Cabe knew of anyway. Then again, since the funeral he’d only texted his dad twice. Once for his birthday and once at Christmas. For all he knew, his dad was already remarried.
The longest relationships he knew of that were happy were those of his friends, and none of them could exactly be called long. What did he know of forever? Yet, with Elden, that was all he could think about.
His knuckles had just barely touched the wood of Elden’s door when it flew open to revel those cinnamon colored eyes sparkling with happiness. Just like that, all of Cabe’s nerves and fears melted away.
“Hello, sweetie.” The need to take Elden in his arms wasn’t one Cabe would have denied himself. He may have just seen him a couple of hours ago, but it had been two long weeks of not being able to look at that gorgeous face.
Their kiss was heated but Cabe refused to take it too far. He wanted this date with Elden and he wasn’t going to let anything, not even lust, get in the way of taking his man on the town.
“You ready?” he asked when he finally managed to pull back from those lush lips.
“Huh?” Elden asked dazedly. Then, as if already cued up and ready, pink climbed up his neck and into his cheeks, turning Elden into the most adorable person on the planet. “I mean, yeah. Just let me grab my jacket.”
But Cabe took Elden’s hand in his and pulled him in for another kiss. How could he resist when Elden had a way of making Cabe feel like the luckiest man alive?
The soft touch of Elden’s lips on his set Cabe’s blood racing. It was always the same when they kissed, like being transported into another world. One in which only the two of them existed, no matter who was around. He hoped it would always be that way with Elden.
When it became a challenge to not push Elden into his house and have his way with him, Cabe broke away and gently nudged him inside. “Get your coat. We’re going to be late for our reservation.”
“Res-reservation,” Elden stuttered a bit as he pulled his coat off a hanger from the front closet.
Cabe helped him put it on. “We’re going to Porterhouse.” It was a steakhouse on the square that served some of the best steaks Cabe had ever had.
Elden let out a small moan that had Cabe’s dick twitching. “I love that place. Their kabobs are amazing.”
Happy he’d picked a place Elden already enjoyed, Cabe wrapped an arm around him and headed down the stairs and across the square to the restaurant. This was what Cabe wanted for his life. He owned his own bar, had great employees he could depend on, and by some miracle he’d found someone he wanted to share it with.
Life was good.
“Cabe, Elden, welcome to Porterhouse. You’re right on time for your reservation.” Kolby, a student at the local college, led them to a quiet table near the window overlooking the town’s square. “Sophia will be your waitress tonight. Enjoy your meal, gentlemen,” Kolby told them as he handed them their menus and went back to the host stand.
As if on reflex, they both looked through the menu until Sophia arrived to take their drink order. It was then that Cabe realized he was only reading the menu because he was still nervous. He already knew what he was ordering and based on the statement Elden made earlier about loving the kabobs, he was fairly certain Elden had already decided too.
Now what?
This was the part Cabe hadn’t had to deal with during his past relationships. He’d kept them mostly superficial, not asking anything too personal, but with Elden he found himself wanting to know everything about him. At the same time, peppering him with questions might overwhelm him or he might ask the wrong question.
The one burning in his brain at the moment was about Doris. Instinctively, he knew it would be best not to bring her up, since it was obvious Elden didn’t have the greatest relationship with her, but wouldn’t that seem odd since Cabe had met her earlier?
Not sure what to do or say, Cabe literally blew out a breath of relief when Sophia came back with their drinks. It at least gave him a few minutes of reprieve while she took their orders for dinner. It also let him build up the courage to step out of his comfort zone and ask something personal.
He waited for Sophia to leave them alone before diving in the deep end. “If you don’t want to answer you don’t have to, but I was wondering what the deal with your mother was?”
Okay, so not elegantly asked. Then again, Cabe wasn’t one of those suave guys who knew the politically correct way to phrase something uncomfortable. He was more of a say it like it was kind of person.
Considering the question he just asked, it was highly inappropriate that Cabe’s dick twitched when he saw pink rise up along Elden’s neck. Was he always going to react that way when Elden blushed? As odd as it sounded, Cabe hoped so. He wanted to always be attracted to Elden.
“I’m sorry.” Reaching across the table, Cabe took Elden’s hand in his. “Seriously, you don’t have to answer. I just couldn’t help notice she kept putting you down.”
Elden’s fingers gripped his a little tighter as he let out a shaky breath. Nodding, Elden glanced at Cabe. Anguish dulled those pretty cinnamon-colored eyes and Cabe didn’t hesitate to get up from his side of the booth, nudge Elden further down his own side, and sit down next to him.
His arms went around Elden, pulling him close. “Shh,” he whispered. “It’s okay. We can talk about something else.”
“No,” Elden’s voice trembled a bit, but was far stronger than Cabe would have thought it would be. “It’s fine. And…” When Elden sighed, his body sagged against Cabe’s as if he were releasing years of disappointment in that one act.
“You’re right,” Elden finally said. “I don’t rec
all her being like that when my father was alive, but he died when I was only six, so my memories are a little fuzzy. All I can remember was her crying. Her friends used to whisper as they watched over me that she might need to go to a hospital since she refused to get out bed or eat.”
“Did she end up in the hospital?” Cabe asked when Elden didn’t say anything more for several minutes.
His head moved from side to side against Cabe’s shoulder. “No. But there was a man who came to our house every day for a couple of weeks. He would talk to my mother several times a day. I could hear her practically wailing through the door. The first time, I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do. The second time, I stormed into her room and told the man to be nice to my mommy.”
The edges of Cabe’s lips lifted in a ghost of a smile. He could imagine a little Elden standing up to whoever was hurting his mother. He may be shy, but there were moments when Cabe had witnessed Elden’s protective side. Usually it was a child being picked on along the square, but occasionally it had been one of Cabe’s customers.
It was as if his shy, retiring man turned into a warrior right before his eyes in those moments. Of course, when it was over, Elden would be so embarrassed that everyone was watching him, that he’d scamper home, not to be seen for days before daring to come back.
“Dr. Hallinan was a psychologist. After my outburst, he not only spoke to my mother, but to me as well afterward.” Elden stopped his story as Sophia arrived with their dinner.
Once they had everything they needed, Cabe probed a little further. “Did Dr. Hallinan help you and your mother?”
Elden’s hands stilled from cutting a piece of steak from the kabob. He cocked his head and gave Cabe a sideways glance. “Yes?” It was said as a question, like Elden wasn’t sure that was the right answer.
“Maybe,” he said after a pause. Then he finished cutting the piece of meat and popped it into his mouth as if using the excuse of eating to delay saying anything further.
Cabe was sure that was going to end that part of the conversation but when Elden swallowed, he said, “He helped me. I mean, I was still upset thinking about losing my father, but I also understood death a little better. He told me it was something the living would consider an unfortunate part of life. But there was a heaven, and that was where my father was.”
Elden smiled wistfully. “He told me one day, when I was really old, I would get to see my father again. I had tried to convince Dr. Hallinan that I was old enough and I could see him now.” Elden let out a small joyless chuckle. “I was so mad when he said I had to be older than him before that could happen.”
“What about your mother?” Cabe asked. “Did Dr. Hallinan help her?”
They were now slowly eating as they talked. “I don’t know,” Elden said. “I mean, she finally left her room and started eating. She even starting making meals instead of her friends bringing over food. But…” he went quiet for several minutes and Cabe let him. This couldn’t be easy and Cabe was willing to give Elden as much time as he needed.
“I have snippets of the time before my dad died. We were happy. We played board games and went to movies. My dad used to take us bowling.” Elden chuckled, the sound filled with a sad kind of happiness. “My mom used to complain about those stupid shoes we had to wear, but it was always fun.”
Elden’s shoulders dropped in a gesture of defeat. “None of that happened again. By the time I was ten, all I knew was nothing I did was ever good enough for my mother. Before I told her I was gay, I thought she hated me.”
That didn’t make sense. “What happened then?”
A real smile formed on those pretty lips. “I was picked on by one of the men she had been dating.” Elden gave a frustrated shake of his head. “There was always someone she was dating. No one long enough to bother getting to know. More like a steady stream of men who rotated in and out of our lives.”
“She usually picked on me even more when those men were around, but this time, one of them made a comment about my being a disgrace or something because I was gay.” That smile returned that lit up the room. “She told him in no uncertain terms that he was to leave before she told everyone she knew how bad he was in bed.”
Laughter burst from Cabe’s lips. “She did? Then why does she pick on you?”
Much to his dismay, Elden’s smile faded as he shrugged. “I don’t know.” There was more silence, then Elden asked, “What about your parents? What are they like?”
It wasn’t a topic Cabe wanted to talk about any more than Elden had, but it was only fair. The thing was, as Cabe spoke about his parents, he found it not as difficult as usual. There was something about Elden that made coping with his past a little easier.
CHAPTER 11
“Are you cold?”
Elden’s head snapped up at Cabe’s unexpected question as they walked up the steps to his apartment. “Huh?” he started but was already shaking his head as he then answered, “No.”
“You’re shaking like a leaf.” Cabe ran his hand up and down Elden’s back when they reached the door as if to warm him up.
But Elden wasn’t cold, he was terrified. The one and only person he’d ever had sex with had told him how awful he was in bed. What if Paul had been right? Would Cabe laugh at him, too? Would he never want to see Elden again? Would he tell everyone in town and they’d laugh and point whenever he was around?
“Hey, hey,” Cabe crooned in his ear as he drew Elden close. “Talk to me, sweetie. What’s going through that head of yours?”
Elden was so scared he didn’t think as he said, “I might be bad at sex.”
Cabe stilled. Then pulled back to look at Elden with wide eyes. Then he laughed. Actually tilted his head back and laughed. What was Elden supposed to do with that? It wasn’t funny. At least, not to him.
“Oh, sweetie, whoever told you that was just trying to make you feel bad.” Elden wasn’t sure Cabe was right.
“How would you know? We’ve never had sex. Maybe I am bad.” Elden really wished he would stop embarrassing himself further by blurting out whatever he was thinking.
But Cabe leaned down enough so their foreheads were touching as he cupped either side of Elden’s face with his warm hands. “Because every time I kiss you, a fire ignites inside of me. Every touch, hell, even each time you just glance my way, my body craves you. There is no way when we have sex, it will be anything less than amazing.”
Then he slowly kissed Elden as if to prove what he meant. The world around Elden disappeared until there was only the two of them. Cabe’s tongue traced along the seam of Elden’s mouth until Elden parted his lips to let him in.
A groan rose up around them but Elden had no idea which of them made the sound. The sensual slide of Cabe’s tongue along his own, caused his dick to harden painfully against the front of his pants.
Elden moved closer, needing more contact. Too many sensations flowed through him as his cock rubbed against Cabe’s thigh, while he felt the hard length of Cabe on his hip. His hands reached for the hem of Cabe’s sweater, his fingers seeking warm flesh.
“Damn” Cabe groaned out. “You make me forget myself.” When Cabe took a full step back, Elden let out a whimper and followed him, not wanting to break their connection, but Cabe held him back. “Wait.”
Elden’s heart sank. Cabe didn’t want him. “It’s okay. I get it.”
“No,” Cabe pulled him back into his embrace when Elden started to turn to the door to go inside. “Sweetie, never doubt for a second that I want you.”
To prove it, Cabe took Elden’s hand and placed it against his bulging groin. “But this is our first time and I don’t want to just fall into bed because our hormones took over.” Hazel eyes sparkled under the lights that hung over the front walkway. “I would love nothing more than to make love to you, but I need to know you want that as much as I do before we go any farther.”
He took a step back once again, as if needing the distance between them. “Without the heat of the mom
ent clouding your judgment, do you want to have sex with me, or do you want to wait.”
Elden opened his mouth, but Cabe placed a finger over his lips to stop him. “Before you answer, it’s okay to say you’re not ready. I won’t be upset. Either way, I still want to go out with you.”
Those words hadn’t been necessary, but Elden appreciated them just the same. It helped that Cabe felt the need to tell Elden he was free to say yes or no without repercussions to their future. Paul hadn’t been that way.
In fact, Paul had told Elden it was sex or goodbye. Now, standing there in front of a man who not only respected him, but cared for him, Elden wished he’d said no to Paul instead of desperately accepting his offer for… well, something.
Reaching out his hand, Elden brushed a short strand of hair that had fallen across Cabe’s forehead. Not sure exactly how to say what he wanted, Elden went with short and simple. “Yes, I want to have sex with you.”
“Thank God,” Cabe whispered before taking the keys Elden had in his other hand, while at the same time crushing their lips together in a kiss of desperation and pure unadulterated lust.
His back slammed up against the door and Elden used the leverage to hook a leg around Cabe’s hip but before he could do the same with the other leg, the door suddenly opened and they were tumbling into his small one-bedroom apartment. He might have hated the fact that Cabe had seen him at his worst on New Year’s Eve but he was grateful that he didn’t have to break the kiss to tell Cabe where the bedroom was.
Cabe stumbled down the hall, both of them ended up banging into the walls as Cabe lifted Elden’s sweater up and over his head. Elden had just managed to get Cabe’s own sweater off when he felt himself falling backwards. The soft mattress caught him.
Their already frantic movements turned fanatic as their fingers touched the skin that was now available to them while also trying to work open the buttons and zippers of their pants.
