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The Forsaken Saga Complete Box Set (Books 1-4)

Page 150

by Sophia Sharp


  My hearts swells in my chest. I think I am about as close as I can get to falling in love in one night.

  “There’s nothing you have to hide from me, Spencer. I have secrets, too.” It feels strangely liberating to say the words. “I won’t push you to reveal anything you don’t want. I know first-hand how delicate trust can be. How much courage it takes to trust another person.” How much courage it takes to love another person. “We’ve had our share of bumps on the road, you and I, but I think we’re getting there.”

  Spencer looks at me without answering. A comfortable silence settles between us.

  When I first arrived on campus, I thought a moment like this would only be possible with Andrew. And only months after we’d passed our self-imposed relationship embargo.

  Maybe I never had real chemistry with Andrew. Maybe that’s why, in the span of a week, I’ve gone from being disgusted around Spencer to feeling completely at ease around him.

  Maybe this is true chemistry.

  “You are too precious,” Spencer whispers softly. “I don’t deserve you so close to me.”

  I turn to look at him. I’m captivated by the way the light reflects off his stunning gray pupils, framed by those long, dark lashes. “This is where I want to be,” I breathe.

  A small, secretive, seductive smile forms on his lips. He leans toward me.

  My lips part in anticipation and I close my eyes.

  His lips touch mine. It’s like a brush of silk against my skin. Soft and gentle. Light and sweet. Cool like the crispness of the night, yet warm like a cottony dream.

  It lasts only a fraction of a second. Spencer pulls back, smiling. I sigh, relishing the remnants of his taste.

  He takes my hand. “Can I walk you home?”

  “Yes,” I smile. “I’d like that.”

  There is something wonderful in the air tonight. Spencer told me before that he wants to show me his world.

  I think this is it.

  It is not the world I expected. It has nothing to do with his on-campus persona, his tattoos, or his bike.

  It’s deeper and more substantial than that. Tonight, Spencer showed me a side of himself that he keeps carefully hidden. It’s layered far beneath the cocoon of indifference he displays to the outside world.

  I spoke earlier of trust. I meant what I said. I really think that he and I are getting there. I trust Spencer more than any other person I know, except maybe Katy. And he trusts me enough to show me who he really is, without pretense or insincerity.

  That means everything to me.

  “Can I ask you something?” I say as we stroll arm-in-arm down the street.

  “Of course.”

  “It’s kind of personal. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

  “Uh oh.” Spencer eyes me warily. “I have a feeling this is one of those tests you girls love so much.”

  “No test, I promise,” I assure him. “And I won’t freak out based on what you tell me, either.”

  “Now you’re making me apprehensive,” he jokes. “But I’m curious what you want to know. Shoot.”

  “Okay.” I gaze up at him. “I’m just trying to understand you better.” I take a deep breath. “Here goes: Have you ever been in love?”

  “Oh.” Spencer looks away, and we walk a few steps together without him answering. Then he sighs and says, “Yes. Only once. A long time ago.”

  I don’t want to delve too deeply into his past, but I have to know this. “How long?”

  “When I was eighteen.”

  We walk quietly for few moments. He’s been honest with me. I decide I should be honest with him, too.

  “I’ve never been in love,” I say.

  He smiles down at me. “Not even a high school crush?”

  “I went to an all-girls boarding school.”

  “Huh.” Spencer doesn’t seem surprised. More peaceful minutes pass. Then, out of the blue, he says, “Tell me, why this sudden interest in matters of the heart?”

  I’m glad it’s dark so he can’t see my blush. Like he doesn’t know.

  Spencer saves me from having to answer. “I’m teasing,” he says softly. “But for what it’s worth, my mind’s been on the subject too.” He smiles.

  I lean my head against his arm, feeling all sorts of contentment. We pass frat row, and the sounds of the ongoing party liven the night.

  I look at Spencer. “Are you going there tonight?”

  He laughs. “What for? I have everything I need right here.”

  I smile, elevated by his sweet words. If he had said something like that before tonight, before the café performance, I would have chalked it up to more disingenuous bullshit. But now? Well, things are different.

  We have the sidewalk to ourselves the whole way back. We keep conversation light and pleasant, speaking of whatever trivialities come to mind. When we reach the corner turning to the dorms, I spot another couple ahead. They’re laughing and giggling in each other’s arms.

  I don’t pay any mind to them until Katy’s familiar laughter rings through the air.

  My ears perk up. Spencer notices, and shifts his grip on my arm.

  “That’s Katy,” I tell him, just in case he doesn’t recognize her voice. I stop. “Let’s give them some space. She’s been quiet about her counseling sessions. I think she’s been hooking up with her therapist.”

  Spencer chuckles. “Sounds like something I might try.”

  I hit his arm. “Spencer!”

  He laughs and gives a cheeky grin. “In the past,” he amends.

  “Well, past or not, Katy is doing it now.”

  I see a playful glimmer in Spencer’s eye. “Want to see who it is?”

  I think about it… and nod.

  “Okay.” Spencer lowers his voice conspiratorially. “We’re going to have to be quiet. Like shadows.”

  “Like shadows,” I agree.

  “The first thing to do is get off this fucking sidewalk, so if they turn back, they won’t see us!”

  I squeal as Spencer grabs my waist and pulls me to the side of the nearest building.

  “Now what?” I whisper, barely able to keep the laughter from my voice.

  “Stay low,” Spencer advises. He puts a finger on my lips. “And stay quiet.”

  I nod and make that old playground motion of sealing my lips shut.

  We sneak to the corner of the building. Spencer peeks around to the other side, then turns back. “They’re on the front porch.”

  I step forward to take a look, but Spencer stops me with an outstretched arm. “Careful,” he warns.

  “Can you see who’s with her?”

  Spencer shakes his head. “No. We’re too far away.”

  “I want to try!”

  “No. You’ll give us away.”

  I fix him with a pout. “Then what do you propose we do, Spencer?”

  “Wait for them to go inside, rush the stairs, and pretend it’s a big accident when we run into them.”

  I hit his arm. “And that won’t give us away?”

  He grins at me. “It’s different.”

  “Fine,” I say. “Are they in yet?”

  Spencer checks around the corner. He turns back to me. “Yeah. They just went through the doors. Ready? We’ll have to be quick.”

  “Wait,” I say, holding him back. I don’t know if this is such a good idea. I mean, I know it’s just for fun, but how would I like it if Katy ambushed me like this. “Maybe we shouldn’t.”

  Spencer chuckles. “Having second thoughts? If you’re worried about Kate—don’t be. I know she won’t mind.”

  “It’s not her I’m concerned about,” I tell him. “It’s the guy she’s with. If we scare him away, she’ll be pissed.”

  “Hmm.” Spencer considers it for a moment. “I never thought of it that way, but it makes sense. Tell you what. You decide. Worst comes to worst,” he winks, “you could spend the night at my place if you end up sexiled.”

  I laugh. “Don’t push
your luck, buster.”

  Spencer grins. “Just a suggestion.”

  One that I’m all-too-willing to take, I think to myself.

  “If you want to catch them, you’d better decide soon,” Spencer reminds me. “Clock’s ticking.”

  I chew my lip. Decisions, decisions.

  Finally, I nod. “Okay. Let’s go.”

  We rush from our hiding spot hand-in-hand, running over the lawn to the front doors. Just before we get there, Spencer tenses.

  I’m pulled back by his sudden stop. “What?” I ask.

  He glances at the parked cars on the street. “I know that truck.”

  I look—and gasp. It’s Andrew’s. What’s he doing here?

  Spencer looks at me as if expecting an explanation. It doesn’t take me long to catch on: He thinks Andrew is here for me!

  “Spencer, I promise you, I have no idea why Andrew is here. I haven’t even spoken to him since the party last week.”

  Spencer shifts his eyes onto me. It’s not a friendly look. “So you admit you know the truck is his.”

  I’m flabbergasted by the flat tone of his voice. Is he threatened? “Of course I know it’s his,” I hiss. “He took me on a date the first week on campus.”

  I don’t know if I imagine it, but just for a second, I think I hear an angry growl come from Spencer’s throat. “Have you been out with him since?”

  I pull my hand out of his. I don’t like the tone of his voice. I also don’t like the unexplained animosity the two guys have for each other. Both of them—both Andrew and Spencer—get as envious as mother hens over their chicks when the other is brought up.

  “Have you, Paige?” Spencer repeats. “Tell me the truth.”

  I don’t have a chance to voice my irritation with his probing question when the front doors of my dorm burst open. Katy runs out with Andrew. Her hair’s a mess. They’re holding hands, and in such a rush they don’t notice me or Spencer.

  “…I just have to get something from my truck,” I hear Andrew tell her, kissing her cheek.

  A sick feeling rises in my gut. I waver. Spencer catches me before I can fall, but I push off him.

  Right now, I don’t want anybody’s touch.

  “Katy,” I say.

  She stops dead and looks at me. Her eyes go wide and her hands go over her mouth. “Oh my God. Paige.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Andrew’s head swings my way when he hears my voice. Immediately, his humor dies. A bleak expression forms on his face. He looks horrified.

  Then he notices Spencer beside me. The shock disappears. His brow furrows in anger.

  Give Spencer credit. He does not say anything to egg Andrew on. He knows there’s going to be an explosion, but he does not contribute to it. I can see the rising tension in his shoulders.

  He also makes no move to close the gap between him and me. I’ve upset him with my ridiculous reaction to his harmless question.

  This is like my worst nightmare come to life. My best friend and roommate, caught sneaking behind my back with the guy who couldn’t be in a relationship with me because of a technicality that applies just as much—if not more!—to him and Katy. Even worse, I’ve gone and pissed off the guy I’m really interested in by overreacting to something that could have been solved in a few easy words.

  Andrew steps forward. “What are you doing here with him?” he demands, stabbing an angry finger at Spencer.

  I position myself in front of Spencer, shielding him with my body. “That’s none of your business, Andrew, peer leader.” I drench his title with derisive snide.

  Andrew takes another step toward us. “Paige, I swear, if you believe a word of this scum bag says…”

  “Andrew, stop it!” Katy yelps, leaping onto his arm and pulling him away. He struggles against her.

  Spencer moves around me and challenges Andrew. “If you’ve got something to say, say it to my face.”

  “Fuck you!” Andrew shouts over Katy’s head.

  Spencer’s expression darkens. His hands ball into fists.

  I grab his shirt and hold him back. “Don’t,” I plead. “Please don’t start another fight!”

  Spencer looks at me. He relaxes—slightly. “I wasn’t going to, kitten,” he says.

  “Andrew!” Katy’s shrill shriek pierces the night. “Andrew, stop struggling. Andrew, let it go!”

  I look around Spencer. Katy has both her hands on Andrew’s chest, doing her best to push him back. It’s a losing cause. He’s scowling at Spencer, and has managed to find the time to roll his sleeves up.

  He looks ready for a brawl.

  “Andrew, back off!” I warn him. “What’s wrong with you?”

  My words seem to finally affect him. He stops. Looks down at Katy. Looks back at me. Glances at Spencer—and grimaces.

  Then he turns around in a huff to storm to his truck.

  Katy’s shoulders slump forward as she watches him go. Andrew starts the engine and stomps on the gas. His tires skid over the loose gravel on the road. They catch traction, screech, and his white truck shoots into the night.

  I’m left alone with Katy and Spencer. I can feel the tension between us.

  Katy looks despondent. Spencer is impossible to read. And while I can’t say what my face shows, I doubt it gives away even a tenth of the emotions roiling inside my head.

  For a few long moments, we all just stand there, struggling with the implications of what has just happened. Spencer is the first to break the silence.

  “I’ll leave you two alone,” he says. “You have a lot to talk about.” He squeezes my hand and adds, “I’m sorry for the way I reacted earlier. Over-reacted. I had a wonderful night. I hope you don’t let this spoil it.” He nods at Katy. “Kate,” he says, and walks away.

  Now I’m alone with my roommate. She’s staring down at her feet, doing her best to pretend I’m not there.

  I take a deep breath and try to think of the best way to approach this. To my surprise, I’m not mad. I can’t muster the anger. Not knowing what she’s been through.

  But, I am disappointed. I even feel a little betrayed, that our friendship was not strong enough for her to tell me about her and Andrew.

  How long has it been going on?

  “I guess,” Katy sighs, “you have pretty much every reason to hate me right now.”

  “No,” I shake my head. “I don’t hate you. But… how could you, Katy? Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

  “I was scared of how you’d react,” she mumbles. “I… I didn’t know how to break it to you.” She gives a bitter snort, then pushes the hair out of her face as she looks up to meet my eyes for the first time. “Although I bet anything would be better than this, eh?”

  I force a smile that I don’t feel. “I can think of worse ways,” I say. “Remember how we met?”

  She laughs. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess that would be worse.”

  I sit on the stairs leading to our building. Katy remains standing. “So,” I say. “Now what?”

  “You tell me.” She blows out her cheeks. “I don’t want this causing a rift between us. Though I can see how it probably will.”

  I chew the inside of my cheek. “I don’t want that, either,” I say. “But, if I’m going to be completely honest… I’ll say that it’s probably too early to know. We need some time to think on things.”

  “You’re right,” Katy acknowledges. She gives a weak smile. “You should be a politician. Talking like that.”

  I counter with a soft laugh. “Yeah, right.”

  Katy shifts on her feet. “Can I tell you something?” she asks. “I don’t know if you’re going to believe me or not,” she adds after a moment, “but it’s the truth.”

  “Sure.”

  “I marvel at your resilience,” she says. “I know you don’t like talking about it, but I know you’ve gone through a lot in your life.”

  I start to protest. She stops me with a hand in the air. “You can’t fool me, Paige. We’ve l
ived together for more than a month. You get to know a person that way. Why else have you never spoken about your past?”

  She takes a deep breath. “I’m not going to insult you again by making assumptions. My gut tells me it must be some heavy shit. But you haven’t let it stop you from living your life, from being who you are, the whole time I’ve known you. That’s amazing. And I just wish we had more time to spend together.”

  I want to laugh and tell her how wrong she is about me living my life. However, the last bit catches me off-guard.

  “What do you mean, ‘more time to spend together’?” I ask. “We’re roomies for the rest of the year. Right?”

  Katy shakes her head. She sits one step below me and sighs. “No. I’m taking a leave of absence, Paige.”

  “What?”

  She nods. I can see tears reflect in her eyes. “My family found out about what happened. Apparently, the resident dean got in touch with them. They want me to come home, and…” she makes air quotes, “…heal.”

  My breath catches. “How long have you known?”

  “Since last Tuesday. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.” She forces a smile. “It’s not that bad. I’ve fallen behind in my classes since the hospital stay. I’m failing some of them.”

  My eyes start to sting with tears, too. “Why didn’t you say anything?” I ask. All that’s happened tonight is forgotten. “I could have helped! I could have talked to the professors with you, maybe done some of your assignments—”

  Katy touches my knee to stop me. “Thank you. You’re sweet to me, even after what you just saw with Andrew.”

  I wipe at my eyes with the back of my wrist. “That doesn’t matter,” I mutter. “I’m doing the same thing with Spencer for you. I’m not that much of a hypocrite to be blind to it.”

  Katy scooches one step higher and hugs me. “You’re amazing,” she whispers in my ear. “I don’t think I deserve a friend half as good as you.”

  “Katy…” I’m sniveling. “…Don’t say that. I don’t want you to leave.”

  “I know,” she says. “I don’t want to go, either. But sometimes things like this are out of our control.” She pulls back to look at my face. “Especially when we’re young.”

  “When are you leaving?” I ask.

 

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