A Not-So-Perfect Past

by Beth Andrews

  “I’ll bite,” he said. “What’s going on?”

  Kelsey attempted to pull away, but he refused to let go. Her sharp features took on a mulish expression. “Nothing’s going on. I just want my wedding to be perfect. Is that okay with everyone?”

  “It’s more than okay with me and I’m sure Nina’s all for helping you get what you want, but we both know there’s more going on here, don’t we?”

  She shrugged.

  “Hey,” he said and squeezed her arm gently. He read the sadness in her eyes, the fear. “I know you, remember? You don’t have any problems making decisions—especially over appetizers and cake designs.”

  “I made a mistake!” she cried.

  “It’s all right.” Nina rubbed her temples. “I’ll figure out a way to make it work—”

  “No!” This time when Kelsey pulled away, Dillon let her go. She tugged both hands through her hair. “That’s not what I mean.”

  “Then what—”

  “I can’t do it!” Her eyes filled with tears and Dillon felt sick. “I can’t marry Jack.”

  NINA BLINKED. Once. Twice. She even shook her head in case she hadn’t heard correctly, but Kelsey’s words seemed to echo in her brain.

  “You have to marry Jack,” she said, her voice rising. “As we’ve already mentioned, your wedding’s in five days.”

  “Better quit now than down the road, right?” Kelsey, back to pacing, paused long enough to nod at Dillon as if seeking confirmation. “I mean, what was I thinking? That I’d be a good wife? A mother? What a joke. I’ll probably be just like Leigh.”

  Nina frowned. “Who’s Leigh?”

  Dillon, seemingly not upset in the least by this turn of events, sipped his coffee. “Have you climbed inside a bottle of vodka lately?”

  “Of course not,” Kelsey said wearily. “But that doesn’t mean I won’t screw this up.”

  He studied his sister. “You know, at first I thought you were reverting back to the Kelsey I knew growing up. The one who ran at the first sign of trouble—”

  Kelsey snorted. “Yeah, trouble I usually caused.”

  “Trouble you always caused,” Dillon corrected her. “But now, I can see this isn’t about you rebelling or even being reckless.”

  Kelsey froze, staring at her feet.

  When she couldn’t stand the silence any longer, Nina said, “Well, I give up. What is it about?”

  “She’s scared,” he said quietly.

  “Of course I’m scared!” Kelsey blurted, tossing her hands in the air. “Emma called me Mommy last night!”

  Nina crossed to stand next to Dillon. “And?” she asked.

  Kelsey looked appalled. “And? Isn’t that enough?”

  “Yeah, it is,” Dillon said. Nina shot him a look that he, of course, ignored. “So why don’t you run? Why are you even here telling us this?”

  “I should run. I mean…what if marrying Jack is a huge mistake? What if you were right when you told me people couldn’t change, that I’m not what Jack and Emma need?”

  Nina glared at him. “You told her that?”

  He shrugged. “Just speaking the truth.”

  Kelsey took hold of his arm. “Dillon, what if I hurt them?”

  To Nina’s shock, he patted Kelsey’s hand and said, “You should leave. Get out now while you can.”

  “What?” Nina dropped her head into her hands. “I’m surrounded by lunatics.”

  But Kelsey didn’t seem surprised by Dillon’s agreement. She just seemed…scared. “I…I should. Maybe you could lend me your truck? I could get my stuff out of the house while Jack’s at work and Emma’s at school. I could head back to New York before Jack and Emma and I get even more involved.”

  “How much more involved than engaged can you get?” Nina asked.

  They both ignored her. Story of her life.

  Dillon straightened. “You know, Kelsey, you were always reckless and rebellious. And wild. But you were never stupid.” He smiled. “Until now.”

  Kelsey jerked her chin up. “Excuse me?”

  “You love Jack and Emma.”

  “Yes, but—”

  “You want to be that little girl’s mother and Jack’s wife more than you can say but you’re scared you’ll blow it. Maybe it won’t happen today, maybe not even this year, but sometime down the road you figure you’ll mess up. Instead of facing those fears, you want to run. I can’t believe I’m going to say this but…” He shook his head. “You’re a coward. And cowards run.” He crossed his arms and nodded toward the door. “So go.”

  Nina caught her breath. Waited.

  Kelsey turned to Nina, her shoulders straight, her green eyes flashing. She jerked her head toward Dillon. “He used to try that reverse psychology on me when I was a kid, but it only ticked me off.”

  With her red hair surrounding her head like flames and an angry flush on her face, Kelsey reminded Nina of a lit fuse. Fiery. Explosive. And dangerous. “What about now?”

  “Now?” Kelsey shook her head. “It worked like a charm.”

  Nina slumped against the counter. “You two are so weird.”

  Kelsey shrugged. “You’re much better at talking me down than you used to be,” she told Dillon.

  “Maybe you’re just better at listening.”

  “Maybe.” She threw her arms around Dillon’s neck and gave him a loud kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”

  Then she held her brother tight. Nina’s heart warmed to see Dillon’s arms go around his sister. To see the love for her on his face. Love he obviously didn’t want anyone else to know about.

  Especially Kelsey.

  But then he disentangled himself and held her away from him. “Don’t thank me. You still have five days to change your mind.”

  “I won’t.” She rubbed a hand over her stomach. “I’m still scared, yeah…I mean, the thought of hurting Jack or Emma kills me, but you’re right. I do want this. More than anything.”

  “Good luck, then,” he said. “You’ll need it.”

  “And I’m sorry about freaking out,” she told Nina. “Everything’s great. The food, the cake. We don’t have to change a thing.”

  “No problem,” Nina said, because really, what else could she do? “Pre-wedding nerves happen to most brides.”

  Kelsey laughed. “It’s nice to be normal about some things, I guess. I’d better get out of your hair. I know you both have a lot to do. See you Saturday.”

  Nina stared at Kelsey’s retreating back. “You were great with her. Who knows what she would’ve ended up doing if you hadn’t stepped in.”

  “I was just trying to avoid bloodshed,” he said, looking uncomfortable with her compliment. “When she said she couldn’t marry Jack, I thought your head was going to explode.”

  Nina’s face heated. “I hated the thought of her hurting Jack and Emma. She’s such a sweet little girl and he was devastated after his wife died. I didn’t think he’d ever get over it.”

  “I thought maybe you were pissed about the idea of losing more business.”

  “That never crossed my mind,” she said indignantly. When he raised an eyebrow, she hesitated. “Okay, so maybe I did think of that. But then I remembered I’d still get to keep the down payment they made last month.”

  He grinned. She was close enough to feel his body warmth, to see the flecks of gold in his eyes.

  He cleared his throat. “Now that that crisis is averted, I guess I can get back to work.”

  Nina laid her hand on his arm. He stared at her fingers resting against his sleeve, then into her eyes.

  Before she could change her mind, she rose onto her toes and pressed her lips against Dillon’s cheek. He stiffened, even though the kiss was soft. After two heartbeats, she leaned back slightly. Their mouths were barely an inch apart. She waited, holding her breath. She wanted his kiss, wanted to press her mouth against his, but didn’t have the nerve.

  He shifted forward and her lips parted. But then his lips thinned and he leaned
back.

  “What was that for?” he asked gruffly.

  “For what you did for your sister,” she said, though she knew that was only part of it. The only part she was willing to admit. “You’re not as inhuman as you’d like everyone to think.”

  “Are you sure about that?”

  “I definitely saw hints of humanity. You care about Kelsey, even if you don’t want anyone to realize it. What you did for her was very sweet.”

  “You don’t know anything about me,” he said harshly. “You wouldn’t think I was sweet if you knew the things I’ve seen or worse, the things I’ve done.” He took another step back, his expression a hard mask. The coldness in his eyes made her shiver. “You want to try and pretty me up, make me less of a threat to you and your safe little life but—I’m not the one who’ll be hurt if you insist on believing I’m something I’m not.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  THURSDAY AFTERNOON, Dillon walked into the bakery’s kitchen and said, “You look like hell, Nina.”

  That probably hadn’t been the smartest thing to say to the woman who’d hired him, but it was the truth. Nina’s apron was stained, she had dark circles under her eyes and her ponytail was frizzier than usual.

  She stopped pouring some sort of thick, creamy batter into large muffin tins long enough to glare at him. “Thank you for not only noticing that,” she said, scraping the last of the batter out with a spatula, “but for saying something about it.”

  “I aim to please.” He pulled his insulated lunch pail out from under his arm and set it on the counter. “Aren’t you eating lunch?”

  “I’ll grab something as soon as I’m done.” She measured brown sugar into a bowl, added flour, cinnamon and a stick of butter. “I just want to get these muffins in the oven first.”

  He shrugged. It didn’t matter to him if she didn’t eat. Or that she’d been working so hard she resembled a fluffy-haired zombie and snapped at everyone who came in contact with her.

  The phone rang. Nina wiped her hands on her apron as she crossed the room.

  “Sweet Suggestions,” she said into the receiver. “Hello, Mrs. Bradley.” As she listened, she tipped her head back, closed her eyes and mouthed something that looked suspiciously like, “Why me?”

  “Of course that’s no problem,” Nina said with forced cheer.

  Her baking skills may be top-notch but her acting skills sucked.

  He bit into his peanut butter and jelly sandwich as Nina hung up. She wrote something in a spiral notebook and then hurried back to her work area. She mixed the butter into the dry ingredients, then tossed in chopped nuts and sprinkled the remainder over the batter in the muffin tins.

  “Do you think that’s a good idea?” he asked.

  She looked at him as if he’d hit himself on the head with his hammer. “These wouldn’t really be cinnamon streusel muffins without the streusel, would they?”

  He opened a bag of chips. “I’m talking about you taking more orders when you’re already behind.”

  “I had to take that order.” She brushed her hands together and carried the trays to the oven. “Theresa Bradley is one of my most loyal customers. And as you just pointed out, I’m already behind, so making a cake for her daughter’s birthday party shouldn’t make much of a difference either way.”

  “It shouldn’t,” he agreed and bit into a chip, “as long as she doesn’t want this birthday cake before Saturday.”

  Nina wiped her work area clean. “She needs the cake tomorrow.”

  Dillon paused, a chip halfway to his mouth. “And you still said yes? Are you stupid?”

  Her head snapped back as if he’d slapped her. With a low growl, she wound her arm like a baseball pitcher—with terrible form—and threw the dishcloth at him.

  “Hey,” he said when it hit him in the chest with a damp splat. Still holding his sandwich in one hand, he set his chips down and brushed at the wet spot on his shirt. “What bug flew into your cookie dough?”

  “Don’t you ever, ever call me stupid,” she said, her voice shaking. She strode over to him, not stopping until her toes bumped his. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m running a business here, a business I want to make a success. What’s so wrong with that?”

  He held his hands up. “Whoa, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to get ahead. Unless you kill yourself for it.” She crossed her arms, her cheeks flushed pink with fury. “And for the record, I don’t think you’re stupid.”

  “Oh, really? Then why did you say that?”

  “Rhetorical question?” he asked hopefully. She rolled her eyes. “But you’re not going to do anyone any good, including your kids or your business, if you don’t take care of yourself and get some rest. Oh, and you might want to eat something every now and then.”

  “Fine.” She grabbed his hand and bit into his sandwich. “Happy now?” she asked, around her mouthful.

  Damn. Why did he have to find her so adorable? “Thrilled.”

  He used the pad of his thumb to wipe jelly away from the corner of her mouth. Staring at her, he slowly raised his hand to his mouth and licked the jelly off his thumb.

  She ran the tip of her tongue over her lips where his thumb had been and his body tightened. He imagined his own tongue tasting her there. His mouth pressing against the dimple in her cheek before sliding over to take hers.

  He shoved the sandwich they were both still holding under her nose. “You finish it,” he said gruffly. “I have two more.”

  She took a hasty step back. “Give them all to me.”

  “If you’re going to throw them at me, I’d rather not. I’m hungry.”

  She raised her eyebrows and held out her hand. He handed her the sandwich she’d bitten into and then reached into his lunch pail for the other two.

  She went to the stove, put a frying pan on the burner and turned the flame on. “I’m sorry I hit you with that dishcloth.” She buttered the sandwiches then sprinkled them with cinnamon and sugar. “I guess I’m more stressed out than I thought.”

  Stress he could handle. Hell, he could even handle her throwing things at him. What he couldn’t handle was how fascinating he found her. How attractive.

  He popped another chip in his mouth. “Seems to me I hit one of your hot buttons.”

  “Trey used to call me names. Said I was stupid,” she said dully, laying the sandwiches on the frying pan. The smell of melting butter filled the air.

  Dillon tensed, crushing his remaining chips. Had she put up with her husband’s verbal abuse? Stood up to him like she’d just stood up to Dillon?

  Or had she been like his mother and sat there, tears streaming down her face as she apologized for whatever transgression—real or imagined—had set her husband off? And if Carlson was such an asshole to his wife, did that mean he treated his kids just as badly?

  He couldn’t imagine Nina standing idly by while Carlson abused—verbally or otherwise—her kids. But did he really know Nina? When Carlson lost his temper with Marcus or Hayley, had Nina protected them?

  Or let them fend for themselves the way he and Kelsey had had to?

  “You should hire another assistant,” he said while she placed the sandwiches on a plate. “Especially since Lacy can’t be bothered to show up for work until two hours into the day.” He carried the plate to the table knowing if he didn’t force her to sit down, she’d eat standing up, baking as she did. “Where is she, anyway? That girl works less than anyone I know. Except Kyle.”

  “She works two jobs and goes to school part-time.” Nina cut the sandwiches in half and warm peanut butter and jelly oozed out. She picked up a section and blew on it before taking a bite. “Right now she’s out making deliveries for me.”

  He bit into his sandwich, surprised at how good it tasted. Who knew you could improve on PB&J? “Her being so busy is another reason for you to get someone else to help you out.”

  “I don’t like too many people in my kitchen.”

  “What are you, Colonel Sanders protec
ting your secret recipe?”

  She got a diet soda out of the refrigerator. “It’s important to me to make this a success on my own. I’m so tired of everyone in town feeling sorry for me.”

  “Because of the wreck?”

  She sat down. “Because of Trey. Because he left me for another woman after I dropped out of college to be with him.” She opened her can and took a sip. “I’m just…tired of being Poor Little Nina.”

  “Being a boss and employing people doesn’t make you dependent, just a smart businesswoman.”

  She grinned. “Point taken.”

  He drummed his fingers on the table. “Not that it matters but, despite your stubbornness, I think you’re doing a damn good job.”

  “It does matter. Thank you.”

  “No problem.” He jumped to his feet. “I’d better get back to work.”

  Her smile disappeared. “Oh. Sure. Thanks for lunch.”

  He got the hell out of there, back to the front room with the kitchen door shut behind him. He’d spent close to five years in a maximum security prison. And yet there he was, all tied in knots because a pretty woman had smiled at him.

  Because what he thought meant something to her.

  He was an idiot. He thought he knew Nina? He didn’t know anything about her.

  Was she really the devoted mother and take-charge woman she was obviously trying to be? Or just the town’s pampered, protected princess who only worried about pleasing other people?

  And did it even matter? Because in the end there was one thing Dillon knew about her for certain. She and her kids needed someone to watch over them. To stand up for them when they couldn’t stand up for themselves. And he’d already done his time playing super-hero.

  “I WANT TO GO to Daddy’s,” Hayley cried, tears running down her red cheeks.

  Nina heaved out a breath and added a teaspoon of salt to the mixing bowl. “I know, Hayley, but you can’t.” She turned the mixer on and, out of the corner of her eye, noticed Dillon enter the kitchen. “Mommy has a lot of work to do so you need to just—”