by Jess Bryant
Lemon’s bottom lip quivered, “I will. I promise. I want that. I want you. I want this life.”
He kissed her again. He kissed her gently but firmly. He tried to soak her in as she clung to him. She tasted like tears and he hated that. He licked at her lips, replacing the taste with his own. Imprinting his scent on her as if he could claim her in some soul-deep way the way she’d claimed him since the moment she walked back into his life.
She wrapped her arms around him and clung to him as she kissed him back fiercely. That was Lemon. She was all heart. She did everything one hundred and ten percent. He loved that about her. She tiptoed up to get closer to him so he lifted her so she could wrap her legs around his waist as well.
“I need you.” She murmured against his lips.
“You have me.”
“No, I need you.”
“I know what you need but the girls are upstairs so you’ll have to be quiet. Can you do that?”
She whimpered softly when he nipped her ear, “I’ll try.”
“Do better than try.” He caught her hair and forced her head back until she had to look at him, “Because you don’t get to act like this is the last time, Lemon. It’s not. You’re coming back.”
“I’m coming back.” She nodded instantly.
“Then I’ll make love to you. Not because you’re leaving. But because I won’t get to touch you for a few days.”
“Two. Two days. It’s only two days and I’ll be back.”
“Two days is two too long.” He nipped at her lips as he walked them towards the bedroom. “Two hours without you is too long.”
She smiled at that and his heart clenched in his chest. He wanted to give her the words. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. He hadn’t told her yet even though he’d known it was true for a while now. He wouldn’t tell her now as if the words would somehow bind her to him. He would wait. He could wait. He would give her the words when she came back to him.
He loved her but they’d rushed so much already. He wouldn’t rush the words now. Not now. Not when the possibility of forever was right there in front of him. He loved her and even if she hadn’t said it yet either, he thought she loved him too. He’d have his answer in two days’ time, when she came back.
And then they could start the rest of their lives together.
Chapter Seventeen
“You look beautiful.”
Lemon grinned at the handsome man standing beside the limo waiting for her. He was stunning in his black tuxedo and thin tie. His wheat-gold hair flopped over his forehead boyishly and deep dimples etched his cheeks when he smiled at her. His light blue eyes glowed with amusement and his white teeth were faultless. He was flawless and the cameras adored him almost as much as she did.
“Trent! You look…”
“Handsome as fuck? Yeah, I know.” He chuckled as he placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and winked when he pulled back, “I don’t clean up half bad for a farmer from south Texas, huh?”
“You’re not a farmer. You’re a charmer.” She flirted back in their usual meaningless way and he laughed. “And if you were straight I’d probably be required to strip you out of that tux and worship at your abs.”
Trent tipped his head back to the sky and laughed a deep, throaty chuckle, “And if I was straight I’d already be plotting ways to get under that sexy little dress you’re wearing so thank God for us both I’m not huh?”
“Thank God we can enjoy each other’s company without our hormones taking over but just for my ego, if you were going to go straight…”
“It’d totally be for you, Lem.” Trent barked a laugh, “Now get your cute little ass in the car or we’ll be late and you know how Rick will whine if we don’t get a good red carpet pic of me feeling you up.”
Lemon took his helping hand and let him guide her into the backseat of the limo that would be taking them to the awards show. He was right after all. They could laugh and joke about his sexuality but it wasn’t really a laughing matter. Not for his career and not for his team. And as his friend, she worried about him and the toll his secret was taking on him far more than any of those publicist or managers or producers did.
She wasn’t sure exactly when it had happened but Trent Thorne had become one of her closest friends in the past few years. He felt more like a brother to her than a friend even. He was her closest confidant and she had become his and the bond they shared was undeniable.
When he’d been assigned to her as the opening act on her last tour she’d thought for sure she would despise him. His bro-country, tailgates and beer and rowdy party music was the complete opposite of her style. She’d expected him to be a belching, farting redneck more worried about the next woman he could land in his bed than the next show. So imagine her surprise when she’d been introduced to her labels newest bad-boy, ladies-man rockstar and instead found the laid-back, secretive, mysterious gentleman cowboy that was the real Trent Thorne.
The man behind the stunning face and the gravelly voice was a secret to everyone but her and a very few other people in his trusted circle. The man that was more than flash and charm. The man that had hidden his true self so deep that nobody would ever think to question it because if they did, he would lose everything he’d worked for and wanted all his life.
The world was a more welcoming place these days but country music was still country to its core.
She loved Trent, in her own way. As a friend and as a sister. And in a lot of ways as a mother. Because she wanted to protect him but at the same time she wanted him to have the strength to be himself and to stop hiding. But that wasn’t her place to press him or force him until he was ready and so she did all she could.
She stood by him. She was his cover when need be. They’d never openly said that they were a couple. They’d never played up that aspect of their relationship. But the media had gotten accustomed to seeing them together and made their own versions of the truth. They always just said they were friends. But someday soon they’d have to stop doing this show.
She had Shane now.
A grin split her face as she settled into the back of the limo. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d smiled on the way to an awards show. Oh, she put on a good face. She smiled in all the right places but it was never real. Not like the smile that she wore now just thinking about how she would get to fly back to Fate tomorrow and see Shane and the girls and her family.
“I meant what I said.” Trent caught her attention when they were back on the road.
“Hmm?”
“You look beautiful tonight.”
“Thank you.”
“It’s more than the dress and jewelry and makeup. You’re practically glowing, Lem. You’re happy.”
“I am.”
“It shows.” He smiled softly but it dimmed when he ran a hand through his hair, “I’m sorry to drag you away from whoever put that smile on your face. I know you didn’t want to come tonight and I know I owe you for everything you’ve done for me so… this is the last time.”
Lemon reached out and took his hand, “I’m sorry, Trent.”
“Why are you apologizing to me?” He flinched, “I’m the one that’s been taking advantage of our friendship.”
“You didn’t take advantage. We’re friends. We’ve always been friends. We’ll always be friends.”
“I’ll just have to find someone else to play my beard.” He winked and she smacked him playfully.
“Or you can come out.”
“Yeah, Rick will let that happen right around the same time hell freezes over.”
“Trent, it’s your life. He can’t…”
“Lemon. I love you. You know I do. But we’ve been over this a dozen times. I can’t come out. Not now. Maybe not ever. Drop it. Please.”
He had gone stiff and he stared out the window instead of looking at her so Lemon stayed quiet. She didn’t push. She knew better. It would get her nowhere. Trent was just as stubborn and hard-headed as she was. So she let
the subject drop as the limo inched them closer and closer to the flashbulbs. When they reached their destination they would have to be smiling so she changed the subject in hopes of putting her friend at ease.
“Shane’s a cop. Did I tell you that?”
Trent didn’t budge. He didn’t make a sound. She smirked to herself and continued.
“He has to wear this awful brown uniform for work and it should make him look like a bad UPS driver but it doesn’t. He look so damn sexy in that uniform I want to tear it off him every single time he walks in the door.”
He made a snorting sound, “It’s not the uniform that’s sexy, Lem. You’ve got a thing for handcuffs.”
She giggled, “I never should have told you about that.”
“Probably not.” He glanced back at her and his shoulders loosened a bit, “But you did so, too late now.”
“Yeah well, you’ve got the same kink so don’t get cocky.”
“Honey, that’s what the girls like about me most of all.” He winked and she grinned again as he began to relax back into the man she knew and cared deeply for.
“And the boys?”
His smile faltered, “Fuck Lem, it’s been so long… who the hell knows anymore?”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m happy for you and your sexy small-town cop.” He shrugged it off, “Maybe someday I’ll run off to some nowhere town and find me a nice, bossy boy with handcuffs of his own to make me smile like you. That’s the dream right?”
“That’s the dream.” Lemon agreed.
They rode the rest of the way to the event in silence and she knew what Trent was thinking. This was supposed to be the dream. The fancy car and the couture clothes and the cameras and bright lights. This was the dream they’d both worked so hard for but it wasn’t everything. They both knew that you could get this dream and still have others.
You were allowed to have more than one dream.
Shane had taught her that. He’d given her a chance at a new dream. Or an old one that she’d thought she lost the right to at least. And he’d told her that she didn’t have to choose. They would figure out a way to make it work. So she could have both. Her music and her family. That was her dream now and she couldn’t wait to get back to the man that she loved and really start living again.
“Come on Lem. Time to smile.” Trent’s voice pulled her back to the present and she realized that the car had pulled up to the red carpet while she was lost in thought.
With what she hoped was a reassuring smile, she nodded and Trent exited the limo. The roar of the crowd and the flashbulbs of cameras were loud and bright just like they always were when Trent stepped into the public eye. She gave him an extra moment in the limelight and then took the hand he offered her. With a deep breath for courage she let him pull her out of the car and into the spotlight.
It was time to act. Act like this was where she wanted to be. Act like this was the life she still wanted. But as the cameras flashed and the fans screamed her name and she smiled and waved and clung to Trent’s arm all she could think was that she would rather be anywhere but here.
Except that wasn’t true.
She wanted to be in Fate. She wanted to be with Shane. She wanted to curl up on his couch with his arms around her. She wanted to be wearing her sweatpants instead of this gorgeous dress and painful stilettos. She wanted to go home.
“Lemon! Lemon! Where’ve you been?” Someone shouted.
Another voice joined the fray, “Trent! Are the rumors true?”
She felt her friend stiffen next to her at the question and forced her smile even higher. They could have meant anything. Rumors were rampant in this industry. There was always talk of who was switching labels or being dropped or who was fighting. There were even more rumors about who was hooking up though and she knew that was Trent’s worst fear. That he would be accidentally outed. That he would get no say in it. By hiding, he at least controlled the story.
He started to open his mouth but Lemon squeezed his arm, “Don’t.”
“Lem…”
“Don’t ask. Don’t give them an opening.” She whispered through her smile. “Just keep moving.”
Stiffly, they moved down the red carpet. Smiles frozen on their faces. Waving to the crowd. But the question came again. And again. And then again. Trent’s grip on her tightened almost to pain. He was losing control. She could feel it. Her laid-back, cheerful friend was on edge and she knew even before it happened that he was about to break.
“Trent, are the rumors about Heath true?”
That name. Heath. She knew that name. Heath was Trent’s… everything. He was his assistant and personal trainer and confidant and the man that Trent loved in every way. Only, Heath didn’t know Trent was gay. He refused to tell him. The very sound of his name, the question and what it implied, it was too much.
But even knowing that, she never expected Trent to do what he did next.
He slid his hand to her ass and squeezed, pulling her close. She opened her mouth to protest but he was already there. His mouth was on hers and she squeaked with shock and outrage. His tongue forced its way into her mouth and she squeezed her eyes shut as the flashbulbs went crazy. Her hands fisted, wanting to shove him away, wanting to punch him, but she didn’t dare. He was breaking apart and he was taking it out on her and as his friend, she couldn’t make it worse. She steeled herself and let him use her to work out his frustrations. Because that’s all it was. There was no passion in this kiss. Only desperation. And when he made a small, whining sound in the back of his throat as if it hurt, she gripped his shirt and tried to hold him together through the storm of his own emotions.
Trent jerked back from the kiss as quickly as he’d instigated it. He stared down at her with horror in his pale blue eyes and her heart ached for him. He expected her to slap him. She could see it written all over that gorgeous face of his. He’d crossed the line with this charade and they both knew it. He would have deserved it if she shoved him and stormed away. But she couldn’t do it to him, because he was busy hurting himself far worse than she ever could.
She cupped his cheeks softly and leaned up to plant a softer kiss against his lips as she whispered, “It’ll be okay.”
His jaw was jumping as his eyes flashed, “I’m sorry.”
“We need to get inside.” She straightened her lipstick as best she could and replanted her smile back on her face.
Trent smiled again but his was half-hearted at best. He was lost in his head. She could see that. So she took control. She steered him down the remainder of the red carpet and then inside. Neither of them spoke as they were guided to their seats. Once they were inside, away from the prying eyes of the media, Trent dropped into his chair and then let his head fall into his hands.
Lemon rubbed his back reassuringly, “It’ll be okay.”
“I shouldn’t have done that.” His voice was gravel and pain.
“No. You shouldn’t have.”
“I’m so sorry Lem. I just… freaked out.”
“I know.” She whispered, “I forgive you.”
“Why?” He looked up at her through wide blue eyes.
“Because you were scared and we all seek comfort when we’re scared. We do dumb things. I ran all the way home to Fate because I was scared.”
“And you found everything you ever wanted there.”
“Yeah.” She bit her lip, “And maybe someday you will too.”
Trent ran his hand through his hair again and they fell into silence for a long time before he groaned, “Shit, Lem. Your guy is gonna kill me for that little stunt. Isn’t he?”
She winced because she hadn’t even thought about Shane’s reaction to that kiss. She should have. God knew it would be all over the media outlets if it wasn’t already. He was going to see it and he was going to be hurt. He wasn’t going to understand. She hadn’t told him much about Trent. Her friend’s secrets weren’t hers to tell. She’d told him she was attending the awards show with
a friend but that kiss hadn’t been friendly. He was going to see her kissing another man on television and she could do nothing to warn him.
She didn’t even have her phone on her. She couldn’t call and warn him. She couldn’t send him a text to reassure him. There was absolutely nothing she could do to make this okay for the four hours that it would take before she could go home.
Trent must have seen the worry on her face because he groaned, “I’ll apologize to him too.”
Lemon shook her head, knowing that the last thing Shane would want was to hear the voice of the man he had no doubt seen her kissing. No, this was her fault. It was her mess. And she would have to clean it up. But before she could do that she had to sit through four hours of this stupid awards ceremony.
Why had she come back for this? She couldn’t remember. She hated these things. It was nothing more than a publicity stunt and a way for those in the industry to pat themselves on the back. She’d have stopped attending them years ago if it wasn’t for Millie and her demands and… she glanced to her left and tried not to wince. And Trent. She came for Trent. Because he needed a date and more importantly he needed a friend.
“It’ll be fine.”
“Lem…” Trent’s voice was rough and he still hadn’t raised his head.
“It’ll be fine.” She repeated taking his hand and squeezing reassuringly, “Just think how thrilled Rick will be. A shot of you sticking your tongue down my throat is gonna make national news.”
Trent groaned, “I’m so sorry.”
“I’ll talk to Shane. We’ll be fine and more importantly you’ll be fine.”
A pair of blue eyes met her own, worried and full of regret, “They said his name and I just… I freaked.”
“I know.”
“What do you think they know?”
She shook her head, “Don’t. Don’t do this to yourself right now. You’ll make yourself sick jumping to conclusions and it’s probably nothing. Heath was a professional athlete before the injury. Maybe it’s about that and has nothing to do with you.”
