by Skye McNeil
Muted giggles emitted from above him. Well, she wasn’t completely gone. He knew precisely where she was, and it wasn’t in his arms. She and her cousins were having one last night of fun before departures would take place the day after tomorrow. They were getting their gossip and toasting wine at the moment, if the clink of glass was any indicator.
He tossed to his left side and stared at the door leading to the patio outside. Naturally, they’d put the military guy in the room to guard the house in case a bear barreled through. He was quite literally the first and sole line of defense.
Bobbi’s robust laughter flitted down the open stairwell. In all his years, it was one of the best sounds he’d heard from the boisterous woman. The others being the noises she made when he kissed her which wasn’t enough in his opinion. He rolled to the other side of the bed. Wanting more of what she could offer tore at his gut. If she’d been truthful with her grandmother, he was royally screwed. All the compromises and the opening of his heart did jack squat. All it did was confirm his darkest fear: Bobbi couldn’t handle him. Well, his occupation at least, but he wasn’t changing anytime soon. Being a Ranger was who he was despite the plethora of setbacks dotted along the path. He’d known what he was getting into when he signed on the line all those years ago. Back then he was a stupid kid with a broken heart courtesy of his high school girlfriend. He didn’t want to feel like a kid anymore. He was a different person even from the last six months to present.
Rubbing a fist over his chest, Jared accepted the soldier status affected his life in the one way he hoped it never would. He fell in love with a woman who shied away from military men. It was the best mistake too. He was aware of the warning signs. He’d shoved Bobbi away in the last year and blamed his career. This time, he couldn’t fault her for doing the same. He put his life on the line nearly every day. Bobbi wouldn’t be able to handle it in the long run.
“Come on, Whitaker. Quit it. Pull yourself together,” he mumbled.
In the dark room, a light on his phone flashed green. Snatching it, he saw an incoming call from his buddy, Spencer. “I’m already awake, so why not?” He pulled on a sweatshirt and answered. “What’s up, Spence?”
“Hey man, wasn’t sure I’d catch you.”
“Yeah, service is dicey up here.” Jared yanked on his boots as the giggles above increased. Damn women and their wine. He stepped out into the winter air, instantly alert.
“So, what’d you think about the latest plane ride request?”
Spencer’s question threw him off guard. He was due for a new assignment but figured he had a few more weeks as a reprieve. “Uh, shit. I haven’t checked my emails for a few days. Give me the rundown.”
“What? Really? You’re usually the first to gear up.” Spencer clucked his tongue. “You been smoking some wacky tobacco in the mountains?”
Stomping his feet, Jared cursed himself for not remembering to put on socks. “No, just out of cell range is all.”
His buddy since boot camp chuckled. No doubt the lout was preening like a goofball. “There’s a girl, isn’t there?”
He stayed quiet, hoping it’d deter the beefed-up man affectionately dubbed Sasquatch. The guy was taller than him and could bench more than any other man in the squadron. Put his stature together with wild curly hair all over the soldier’s body and dark brown eyes, and Spencer more than fit his nickname.
“Is it Bobbi?”
“Damn, you don’t give up, do you?” he huffed.
“Ha, no. Not when the one man who gives us grief for having girlfriends is smitten.”
Jared gritted his teeth. “How is the girlfriend anyway? Oh, wait, you got dumped.”
“Shut up, Scout. She was a bimbo, so no skin off my back.” Spencer cleared his throat. “Stop getting off subject. How’s Bobbi?” The last part was in a sing-song voice. The soldier had balls. Balls and pipes. Hell, Jared had to punch the man to shut his mouth a time or two. The pop singer crony was too talented for his own good. Girls flocked to the giant just to hear him hum.
“Fine. Bobbi is fine.” The bite in his words hurt nearly as much as the mountain air against his cheeks.
“Whoa. Somebody didn’t get laid over furlough.”
Jared could imagine his best friend now. Feet up on the coffee table Spencer made himself and lounged on the hand-me-down sofa from God knew where. Sasquatch was a thrifty spender. Most of their platoon fell along those lines. Until they went to a bar. More money was spent there than anywhere else over the years together.
He glanced at the snowy porch above him. “Yeah, no. I definitely didn’t get who I wanted.”
“Oh, well. It’s just a girl, right? Plenty where she came from. When we get back, I’ll take you—”
“No,” he interrupted. “No strip bars, no strippers, just no.” He ran a hand through his hair and found snowflakes there. “Bobbi isn’t any other girl. There aren’t more like Bobbi to find.” He stopped and reviewed the path he paced. “Fuck.”
Spencer let out a low whistle. “Yeah, I was gonna say the same thing. All the Colorado air got to you.”
Jared grunted at his word vomit. “I need sleep.”
“You need to tell her how you feel,” his pal advised.
Resting a hand on one of the thick timbers, he sighed. “She won’t want me. I heard her say it herself today. I’m dangerous and a player. A dangerous player.” He grimaced. “She doesn’t need my type of pain in her life.”
“Yes, and not because I’ve seen the size of you—”
“Focus, Sasquatch.”
“Ha, right, sorry. Let her decide what she wants, Jare. You may be surprised. Hell, if you’re getting all mushy over a girl, I know she’s special.” He cleared his throat. “I was wrong to say anything contradictory.”
“It’s fine.” Jared retreated to the cabin’s warmth, sleep all of a sudden closing in on him. “Look, I’m losing my signal. Talk to you in a few days.” He didn’t wait for a response before he hung up. Without question, his old bud would add some kind of innuendo in there. Spencer was famous for them after all.
Slumping into the twin sized bed he nearly dwarfed, Jared stared at the ceiling again. From the sounds of it, the Davis women were playing cards, and a shot of tequila was the price for losing the hand. If he were a sane man, it wouldn’t bother him, but he wasn’t. He was madly in love with the bright-eyed nutritionist who stole his heart right out from under him. Eventually, he’d return to normal, boring, Bobbi-less life. I can wait.
»»•««
Flicking on the light above the stove, Bobbi yawned and rubbed the back of her neck. Happy hour was officially over when Gretta fell asleep while playing Texas Hold ‘Em. The snoring sealed her forfeit. Bobbi made sure her cousins were tucked into bed—or slumped however you looked at it—before she returned to clean up their mess. It could wait until morning, but she wasn’t quite sleepy enough to turn in.
“It’s a tad late for dishes,” a low voice stated when she started scrubbing the dishes in the sink.
“Shit,” she yelped, turning around. Jared sat at the island bar, arms crossed over his long-sleeved shirt. “What’re you doing up?”
He took a breath, the act lifting his muscular chest and making her wish he didn’t look incredible even after midnight. “Couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d eat something and see if it’d help.”
Standing, he opened the refrigerator door and rummaged through the contents. She stood there with soap trickling down her elbows and watched him. His lethargic movements to retrieve cheddar cheese and sliced ham made her mouth water. For the food, of course. Too much booze and not enough snacks filled her stomach.
She shook her head in hopes to clear the cobwebs created while ogling him. Setting the plate down, she grabbed the loaf of bread. “Here you go. I think I’ll make a sandwich too.” She stole the mustard from the fridge and joined him at the kitchen island. “All the tequila needs to soak in something, or I’ll have one killer hangover.”
Th
ey made ham and cheese concoctions in silence. She couldn’t recall a time where she’d been happy simply making food alongside someone other than Clara. No idle chatter or nervous vibes. Pure enjoyment to be in his company. It was by far one of her favorite things about Jared. He made her feel comfortable no matter what they were doing.
Biting into her sandwich, she sighed. It was what she needed after all the night’s festivities.
Jared chuckled. “I didn’t know sandwiches were sigh-worthy.”
“Mm, this one is.” She took another bite and mumbled. “It’s so good I just want to eat twenty of them.”
He leaned against the counter and smirked before taking a bite of his masterpiece. “You’re pretty amazing, you know?”
“Why? Because I eat food?”
“Well, yeah. But mostly because you enjoy food.” He pointed at her with the fresh bread. “A lot of girls I’ve been around weren’t fond of carbs.”
She hugged the sandwich to her mouth. “Screw that. I love carbs.”
“I can tell.” He paused. “I didn’t mean it as a negative.”
“Don’t worry; I didn’t take it as one.” She nudged him with her elbow. “Food is my weakness. And maybe an Army Ranger here or there.”
They ate with nothing but the heater’s creaky ducts to fill the void. She didn’t mind the quiet. In fact, it made her feel safe despite the late hour. Snow fell softly outside the windows, sending a chill through her body. More to shovel in the morning. Before long, no visitors would be able to make it up the mountain paths without four-wheel drive. No doubt, it’d be some adventure to stay in Timberline all winter long.
Jared finished his food first and wiped his lips with his thumb. “My latest assignment came in tonight.”
“Oh?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I’m headed out once Christmas finishes up.”
Bobbi waited for him to say more, maybe explain he wanted to see her when he got back or how they would talk while he was away. Nothing. He just stood there like a giant. Giant oaf more like.
He straightened his shirt. “Since you’ll be moving to New York soon, it’s for the best anyhow.”
She frowned and held in her disappointment. Her feelings for Jared weren’t skin deep, but she wouldn’t be the first to admit anything. All the other times she did ended in disaster, and she didn’t want it for her and Jared. Not a second time. She craved a different ending. A happy ending.
Staring at him, Bobbi couldn’t read what lay in his green eyes. He was guarded. Almost as if he’d heard her lie to her grandmother earlier in the day. “Okay then.”
“Plus, I have a few people I need to touch base with.” He returned the condiments to the fridge. “Spencer wants to introduce me to a couple girls he met during leave.”
Her eyes narrowed at the last bit. “Oh, sure. I’ll bet there are plenty of girls waiting for you.” She tossed the loaf of bread to the opposite counter and shoved the ham and cheese back to their spots.
“Bobbs, are you mad?”
“No.” She gritted her teeth for even considering Jared wasn’t a player anymore. A week in the Rockies didn’t change a person.
“You sure? You’re throwing food.”
She paused and saw a prepackaged brownie in her fist. It was crumpled and inedible now. Dumping it in the trash can, she flipped her hair over one shoulder. “I’m fine, Jared. You’re a popular guy.”
He shrugged. “It’s Spencer. He likes to party a little too much. If I don’t have his back, he’ll be married in a week.”
His words calmed her down, but only a smidge. The thought of him flirting with other women set her on edge. Head pounding, she accepted this was how it would be. They weren’t a couple, and she’d no doubt see the varying array of girls in the coming years at each holiday the Whitaker and Davis families shared together. Though it stung like hell, she didn’t want to think about never seeing him again.
“You’re a good friend.”
“Thanks, I think.” He moved toward her, but she managed to go around him and snuck to the bedroom.
“Goodnight, Jared. See you tomorrow.” She didn’t wait for his response. She couldn’t handle it.
Chapter Eleven
Christmas morning wasn’t the same without all of her loud cousins. Bobbi watched Daisy put two candy canes in her mouth to imitate a walrus. She rolled her eyes but didn’t stop the smile on her face. All right, well, most of them. The few who managed the journey were her favorite, so she didn’t mind too much. Except Erin was quickly getting under her skin, for obvious reasons.
Jessie waddled into the living room, completely decked out in holiday cheer. She kissed Asher then waved a hand at her flushed cheeks. The ex-Ranger turned author was a good fit for her uptight sister. Somehow the crazy kids made it work. Asher placed a protective hand on his wife’s belly. And speaking of kids. She averted her gaze when the two lovebirds started exchanging lovey-dovey eyes. Bobbi was happy for Jessie, of course, but seeing what she might have with Asher’s little brother bothered her.
Looking in Jared’s direction, she tried to hold back a disgruntled huff. Her cousins were fawning over the Ranger clad in a red sweater, jeans, and a Santa hat. He couldn’t resemble Father Christmas more unless he had a rotund belly and white beard instead of the dark shade on his jaw. His cheerful smile unnerved her further. He’d kept his distance, and she didn’t know why. In retrospect, Bobbi recalled she didn’t exactly roll out the welcome mat either. There were too many emotions jumbling in her to handle even one.
“Come on, now, pass those presents out, my elves,” Grandma Jane demanded from her rocking chair. She would’ve made a decent drill sergeant with her tone.
Falling into place, Bobbi quickly and efficiently passed out the pristine gifts from under the fake tree. Grandpa never allowed a fresh one. “Those are for the critters. We’ll enjoy them from their rightful place in the ground,” he’d say. They always decorated one evergreen near the cabin with red bows and birdseed balls for the wildlife, though. The tradition continued to the next generation, and she suspected the third as well. The scent of the winter season was readily available. One must simply walk outside up here.
“And here you go,” she finished, tossing a present to her dad. He caught it without any problem, a broad grin on his face.
“That’s my girl. Always a finisher,” he teased. Bobbi rolled her eyes at the reference to the pie eating contests she’d won when she was a child and not the role of head-elf.
“Thanks, Dad.” She snuck into her spot between her cousins when Grandma Jane spoke up.
“I’m grateful to have you all here for an early Christmas this year. I’m not getting any younger, so each time I see you is a blessing.”
Bobbi hugged her arms over her chest. Thinking about a life without Grandma Jane was ridiculous and scary beyond belief.
“Each of you has a gift from me, but I want you to open it once you get home.” The old lady perched on the edge of her seat. “You’ll understand why later.” Grandma Jane waved her arms. “Now, rip into those packages.”
She didn’t need to tell twice. Everyone got to work on their brightly wrapped presents, yet Bobbi watched in silence. Soft holiday music drifted in one ear and out the other, but she didn’t move. She was too enraptured by watching the others and their reactions. Her mom squealed at a pearl necklace; her dad grinned at the new tackle box; her cousins laughed at the bottles of wine they exchanged; the Whitakers exchanged smiles at their handmade gloves and scarves; Jessie laughed out loud at the matching sweaters, while Asher’s face turned, well, ashen; but Bobbi’s favorite was Jared. His movements were agile yet carefree as he unwrapped the red and green paper. An odd smile crossed his lips at the green T-shirt with St. Elmo’s general store stenciled on the front.
Opening her own, she bit her lip at the matching shirt except in blue. Glancing up, she met Jared’s electrifying gaze. Neither would forget the time spent in the store, and now they had a reminder. More wrapping p
aper shredded around them and Bobbi realized she wanted something serious to happen with Jared. It wasn’t the ideal time, place, or scenario, but her heart budged from the hole she buried it in. She didn’t care about his job anymore. He wasn’t Jared without it, and it was part of why she liked him. She didn’t want him to leave without knowing the truth. I love him.
»»•««
Jared barely had time to pack his bag much less talk to Bobbi alone one more time. He purposefully shoved her away last night when she sought him out. He had to. The fake phone call from Spencer was a little over the top, but now she knew he was destined to Gibraltar, Taiwan, or wherever his ticket named. Her hurt eyes were daggers to his heart, but she said herself he was a dangerous guy. As much as it killed him, Jared needed the sting to last in her heart as well.
The brisk morning air slapped his mild beard. Thanks to his failure to bring a razor for the week, his hair had a mind of its own. He rather liked it, but depending on where the Rangers sent him next, the fuzziness might soon be a distant memory. His eyes locked on Bobbi’s green and blue plaid leggings as they hugged her legs and ass to perfection. Perfect. Just like her.
“You should talk to her before you ship out,” Asher suggested in a quiet tone.
Eyeing his older brother, Jared jammed his hands into his coat pocket. It was obvious; he couldn’t lie to him. He’d been the one to call him out, after all. “I’d like to say no, but you’ll call my bluff.” His brother nodded. “Is it so obvious?”
Asher smirked. “Um, yeah. You get this weird grin on your face.” He poked his brother’s cheek. “Looks like you’re a kid when you and Bobbi talk. It’s kind of cute.” Jared shoved at him, but his brother continued. “You get all sad when you watch Bobbi get ready to leave now, though.”
Jared lowered his eyes to his boots. He wasn’t entirely ready to address the bear in the woods quite yet. He hardly grasped the war between his emotions as it was. Her look of utter despair when he’d mentioned spending time with other women made his heart lurch now just as much as the other night. He didn’t want to hurt her, but if what she said to her grandma about her thoughts of him were true, he needed distance. And a lot of it. She deserved someone she could count on, and he didn’t fit the bill. Not while he was a full-fledged Ranger. His gut pitched when he thought of a life without her present. He thought he knew what a broken heart felt like when he lost Aubrey, but he was never more wrong. It was crippling, and not a damn thing could be done to cure him.
