by Skye McNeil
“She’ll always be part of our family,” Asher reminded. “If you don’t act on your feelings… one of these family gatherings, Bobbi will bring a guy.” He lifted his brows. “As in a guy she’s going to marry.”
Jared’s blood felt as though it transformed into a river of ice. Even the mere possibility of Bobbi—his sweet and saucy Bobbi—with another man turned him inside out. “She can’t handle it, Ash. Said so herself to her grandma,” he reiterated, hoisting his duffle off the snow. “Spencer thinks I should just cut her loose.” His best friend said the exact opposite, but he needed to make a point to his brother. Bobbi was better without him no matter how much it sucked to say.
“Spencer?” the other man snorted. “Wow. He’s sure one to talk. Mr. I’m-Every-Woman’s-Dream would say some kind of shit.”
“He’s my best friend.”
“And a class act idiot. The guy hasn’t had a genuine girlfriend since elementary, and I’m being generous there.”
Knowing his brother was right, Jared shook his head. His gaze fixed on Bobbi as she chatted and hugged her family farewell. “Look at her. She’s carefree, caring, and too perfect for a guy like me.” He stabbed an index finger to his chest. “You know me. We won’t mix. Not in the long run.”
“Jare—”
“Asher, stop. I’m done talking about this. We need to move out, or we’ll miss the plane.” His boots crunched the snow. And I most definitely don’t need a layover with her.
“She’s driving back to Denver,” his brother informed him, as if reading his mind.
This made him pause and turn around. “What? I thought she was going to acclimate to New York before her big move.”
Asher shrugged. “I guess she changed her mind.” His face broke into a broad smile when he looked at his wife. “The Davis women are notorious for it.” After patting Jared’s shoulder, Asher scampered toward the vehicle bound for the airport.
Watching the crew smash into the rental sedan, Jared’s heart clenched when Bobbi didn’t join them. She stood to the side, a solemn smile on her mouth. Their adventure up in the mountains ran through his mind. All her idiotic yet adorable antics made his throat clench. She hadn’t succeeded in her list, not according to the stupid magazine. He let out a slow breath. But she made it on my Christmas list. He wanted her on it every year until he died. The echo of her words brought him back from an imaginary future. He rolled his shoulders back. But she made it clear they didn’t work. He would’ve preferred a face to face confrontation because then he could plead his case. If it didn’t work, he could kiss her until the thoughts disappeared from her mind forever.
His watch beeped, signifying they were late. Jared stomped over to the car and hurled his bag in the trunk. Tightly gripping the door handle, he bunched up his legs to fit in the backseat.
“Stay safe,” a soft voice pleaded to his left. He’d intentionally not said goodbye. How could he without hauling her to the snowy ground and kissing her until their lips were numb?
Meeting her baby blue gaze, he nodded. “You too, Bobbi.” He closed the door, and the vehicle lurched into motion. Right then was the one and only time he was grateful not to be driving. He couldn’t stomach seeing her shrink in the rearview mirror. Hell, he’d probably crash the damn car from staring at her.
»»•««
Opening the door to her apartment, the sweet smell of candle wax met her nose. Bobbi didn’t want to think about what was happening with it behind Clara’s closed door. Despite her shy countenance, her roommate was a bit of a kinky freak. Normally, it didn’t bother her, but today it did. Jared’s cold departure sent her mood from sad to dismal within moments of the car rolling down the drive.
She lugged her bag to her room and flopped face first on the bed. The drive from Timberline wasn’t horrible, but she wasn’t a fan of traveling alone. Well, she wasn’t entirely alone. Her passenger seat was filled to the brim with homemade Christmas snacks, a plethora of chip flavors, candy, and of course, sponge cakes filled with icing. Needless to say, dinner wasn’t on the horizon tonight.
“Ugh, my life sucks,” she muttered when a creaking sound drifted to her room. She rolled her eyes and buried her face in the comforter. Hearing Clara and her latest boyfriend didn’t sound fun. Ever.
Tearful goodbyes were normal for the Davis clan, but this year, she couldn’t shed one. It was as if her tear ducts were frozen, thanks to Jared. As much as she wanted to cry, she wanted to sleep more. If she could sleep away his memory, maybe just maybe she could move on and start fresh in New York City.
She sat up and glared at her luggage full of dirty laundry. “Might as well get a start on it.” She dragged the bag to the bed and unzipped it. Opening the top flap, her gaze fell to the small present from Grandma Jane. She grabbed it and pulled off the ribbon. “Well, she did say to open it at home.”
Tearing the festive wrapping paper away, a small white box sat in her hands. “Mysterious as always, Grandma.” She flipped the lid off, and tears welled in her eyes at what lay inside. A silver bracelet with charms sat on a pillow of tissue paper. Holding it up, Bobbi studied the charms: a pair of skis, a mixing bowl and spatula, a ‘B,’ and a heart. The tears fell then and wouldn’t stop. Her grandma may seem like an old kook, but she had a heart of gold. Each of the charms meant something special to Bobbi, and she’d never forgotten learning how to cook and ski with her grandma right beside her.
Wiping the back of her hand over her cheeks, she spied a tiny engraving on the heart. Peering at it, she read, “Love will scare you, but it will also set you free. Love always, GJ.”
If she had any mascara left on her eyes after those words, Bobbi would be stunned. She slipped on the bracelet and sighed. Laundry now long forgotten, she curled under the covers and flicked off the light above her bed. The bed was her lover for the time being, and she was determined not to leave until she was fully satisfied. Her heart, on the other hand, was another matter completely.
»»•««
Jared propped his tan boots on the fender of the SUV in the back of the plane. His buddies joked and cursed next to him on the bench, but he didn’t hear them. His mind was thousands of miles away, and he couldn’t ground it. The engines blared outside, droning the noises together. After their debriefing, his unit hustled to their lockers to prepare for their next mission. He hoped the distance would ease the ache in his soul. Doubtful.
Spencer’s song about drinking floated to him, and Jared was grateful they didn’t have any women on their team. His best friend would’ve screwed up their mojo somehow. It was the guy’s ritual, though mostly accidental. Just like me. I can’t keep a girl either.
Jared rubbed his hands over his jaw. The hair was softer now, and he was glad he hadn’t been forced to shave yet. Oddly, it kept Bobbi’s memory fresh in his mind. She was never far from it anyhow. When he slept, she was there. When he worked out, same thing. Even when he hung out with his friends at a bar, he’d see her face in the crowd around him.
The elbow to his chest startled him. When his teammate, Keegan, held up his hands in remorse, he went back to sulking. Aircraft sparring was common when they were on their way to a jump sight. It was more fun than rolling in on a Humvee any day. Jared glanced down at his left breast pocket. The small coin medallion inside made the bump hurt twice as much. He didn’t know why he brought the gift from Bobbi’s Grandma Jane with him. He pulled it out and studied the Army Ranger emblem. Except he did know. On the back, the small inscription made him press his lips together until they hurt. “Love isn’t a war, but a journey. Stay safe. GJ.” He closed his eyes and clenched the charm in his callused hand. It may be stupid, but the old lady wasn’t wrong. He treated relationships like they’d blow up at one time or another. Too bad I can’t go back.
“Guys, we’re nearing the drop sight. Gear up,” he heard Spencer call over the hum.
Pulling down his goggles, Jared tucked the gift safely in his pocket. For now, he’d do the same with Bobbi too. His job dep
ended on it. The plane’s back end popped open and he followed the line of Rangers as they jumped off the deck. The adrenaline rush at the nighttime flight took over, and all thoughts of the redheaded nutritionist vanished on the wind.
Chapter Twelve
Six weeks. It was how long she gave the hospital in Denver until she’d leave for New York and a new start. The notice gave her enough time to hire her replacement and train the woman who was straight out of college. It also gave her time to wash out the red hair dye until her natural brunette shone through. She was starting fresh in New York City, and it meant returning to her roots. Literally.
Boxing up the last of her possessions, Bobbi’s eyes misted at the rows. Her life whittled down to neat and organized boxes stacked high. It was too much to take in. This was the cross-country move she’d dreamed of since she was a child. Then why does it feel wrong?
Sure, she and Clara spent many a night drinking vino and cursing romantic comedies in her bedroom, but those memories weren’t the cause of her sadness. They may have pushed the waterworks over the dam, but Jared was the true culprit.
She taped the flaps on the last box full of books and didn’t envy the movers set to come the following day. In six weeks, nary a word was heard from the Ranger with eyes as green as a tropical forest. She’d gone out to New York to finalize her employment, but when she stayed at Asher and Jessie’s apartment, they didn’t offer any insight as to Jared’s whereabouts. He was gone. Poof. Just as quickly as he’d arrived and upset her life, he disappeared. And so did my love life. She ripped the magazine article out the day after she returned home. It hadn’t worked. The damn article is full of shit. Bobbi bit her nail. It wasn’t entirely a waste. She got to spend precious moments with Jared and fell for him all over again. She may curse him, but she couldn’t discredit their hours together. Why didn’t you do anything, Bobbi?
“You all set?” Clara asked from the doorway. She held two bottles of beer in one hand and a bag of chocolate covered caramels in the other. God, she was going to miss her intuitive friend.
“I believe I am.” She laughed. “Who’d have thought my life packs up so nice?” Snagging the beer, Bobbi took a long drink. It did nothing to ease her shaky nerves but quelled her mind for the time being.
“Chad and I are taking you to dinner tonight. One last hurray at Mama’s Mexican.”
“I’m game.” She swallowed another mouthful of the light amber. “But try to keep the PDA to a minimum, please. You two are revolting.”
Clara rolled her eyes at the sarcasm in her roommate’s voice. “I bet you’d be one hundred times worse with Jared.”
Bobbi’s fingers gripped the neck a tad tighter. “I guess we’ll never know. My love for him crashed and burned after St. Elmo. It’s fitting. A ghost town for a ghost of a love,” she snickered.
The two reviewed the tidy room; a rarity on its own accord. Clara walked over to an opened box and picked up a photo frame. “This was a fun weekend trip,” she reminded, holding up the picture of the two of them after skiing in Vail.
Remembering the day well, Bobbi grinned. “You were the funniest snow bunny. All pink from head to toe and fumbling around like a newborn.”
“Mm, true, but I didn’t stay a newbie long, did I? I got the hang of the skis and stopped knocking grannies over.” Clara smiled and stared at the snapshot before turning her gaze to Bobbi. “All it took was a little patience, a lot of guidance, and faith that I could succeed.”
The beer in Bobbi’s throat lodged at the direction of their conversation. Clara was known for her wisdom, and damn, she was about to get an earful. “Uh huh. Pretty sure you had a bruised ass too.”
“Yes, well, I think we’ve both dealt with our own asses.” Clara carefully replaced the frame and sealed the box. “You didn’t give up on me, Bobbs. It’s not who you are, so it’s rather shocking you let Ranger Jared waltz away to the horizon.”
“He didn’t waltz, he ran.”
“Whatever.” Her friend waved aside the excuse. “I know this whole magazine checklist was more of an experiment, but it worked. You discovered the most incredible man all over again. Deeper this time if I’m reading you correctly.”
She was. She always did. Despite the truth, Bobbi wouldn’t let Clara win. “And he’s gone. I guess the last tick on the list should’ve been explained more.” She grabbed the now wrinkled magazine, already turned to the page. “Give him freedom,” she read. “Check and check.” She scribbled a pen over the words.
Clara stole the magazine away. “And it continues by saying, ‘But let him know you want him.’” She tossed the useless artifact to the freshly vacuumed carpet. “You haven’t done part two, Bobbi. Until you do, it’s incomplete.”
Gritting her teeth, she finished off the lager. She wasn’t fond of admitting she was in the wrong. “Who the hell reads these anyways?” She pointed to the article and paced the floor. “I mean, he’s gone. I did all the steps, and he left me in the dust.”
“It’s his job.”
“Okay, sure, but he didn’t talk to me or say goodbye or anything. I thought I meant something to him. He told me he fell in love with me then he just up and leaves. It isn’t right.” The tears she swallowed came back to drown her. “He’s God knows where and possibly in danger.” She placed a hand over her heart. “I can’t live if something happens to him.”
“So, then you love him?”
Bobbi nodded, the truth hitting her hard. “Yes, I love him even though he’s an asshat.”
“Then go to him.”
“They don’t hand out a GPS to where soldiers are on assignment, Clara,” she stated matter-of-factly.
“No, but you know another person who loves Jared, and he may be more inclined to find an address so you can write him.”
“It’s not enough. I need to see him and explain…” She wiped the mascara-streaked tears off her cheeks. “Wait.” She snapped her fingers. “He mentioned he’d be staying at Asher’s old apartment for a while in between his jobs until he found a place. He may be there.”
“So, you’re going to what? Stay there and wait if he’s not?”
She shrugged. “I couldn’t put Asher and Jess out. The baby is due next week. But I’d be willing to bet that Asher would give me a key to check in now and then to be on the safe side.”
Clara squealed with glee. “Then what’re you waiting for? Go now!”
“But dinner—”
“Nope. No excuses. You can make it up to me by showing me around New York City when I visit.” Clara hugged her close. “I’m going to miss you,” she whispered then shoved her toward the door. “I’ll watch the movers. Don’t worry. Your precious N’Sync CDs will survive the cross-country trek.”
Bobbi didn’t have a chance to think about her next set of actions. She was on her way to the airport, ready or not.
»»•««
The rhythmic buzzing of hair clippers droned in Jared’s ears. He watched in the long mirror as the aged barber plowed two months of hair from his face first. He hadn’t shaved since finishing his last assignment, and since the latest one was complete, he decided he needed a change. Well, a slight one. Masculine laughter caught his attention, so he used the reflection to see Spencer across the row. Plus, their commanding officer was footing the bill for the platoon’s cuts, so it made his decision easier. A farewell bonding is what Ratchet called it since a few of the men were on their way out of the Rangers for good.
The barber switched to the right side and fuzz drifted to the red-tiled floor. For a split second, Jared considered throwing in the towel as well. He’d put in his time and was considered an American hero even if America had no clue who he was. It was enough for him to know.
“Yo, Whitaker, you look like a decent guy again,” his best friend heckled.
Jared turned around when the clippers ceased. “Hey, at least, I’m not Sasquatch’s ugly twin brother.” He ran a hand across his chin. “All I have to do is shave, and I’m brand new, but you.�
� He shook his head. “You’d need a whole team to fix whatever you have going on.”
Spencer’s deep belly laugh filled the small space. Several other Rangers input their own jokes, making the mood more joyous. They returned the day before last, and it was high time for shenanigans, not including icicles in Russia.
“You’re just jealous,” Spencer commented. “I’ll get all the ladies, and you’ll be stuck with your hand.”
“Maybe, but then I won’t have to worry about knocking anybody up.”
A round of manly ‘oh’s’ went around the group along with laughter. This was what Jared loved. A crew of brothers giving each other shit and becoming closer through it all somehow.
Spencer scowled but kept his lips shut. If the guy was less of a player, he may find a girl worth her salt. It wouldn’t happen unless she struck him over the head with his guitar. Now, that was something he’d pay to see.
Jared’s barber went back to work on his hair again. He tuned out the chatter and watched the owner’s expertise in action. It kept him busy for a full minute before his mind wandered. Pulling out his phone, his heart sank when no new notifications popped up. He’d been stateside for two days and still had silence from Bobbi. It wasn’t as if he expected her to meet him at the airport, but a text or email would’ve made his month.
Clearing his throat, Jared swore under his breath, both thumbs hovering over the cute nutritionist’s number. He should be the bigger person. Should being the keyword there. Clenching his jaw, he stuffed the Android back into his pocket as his haircut came to a close. After thanking the man and dropping a hefty tip in the mason jar labeled tips for tops, Jared grabbed a chair and waited for the rest of his team to finish.
